JAM:WRichard,THawks,SFrost,CBalding
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WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring WENDY RICHARD, TONY HAWKS, STEVE FROST and CLARE BALDING, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (TV, 29 April 1999)

NOTE: Clare Balding's first appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons and once more itís my pleasure to welcome you to Just A Minute, the exciting, challenging and sometimes outrageous game in which I ask our four guests to speak if they can on the subject I will give them and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Let us meet the four talented performers who today are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back the irrepressible Tony Hawks. And beside him the daring Clare Balding. And on my left the delightful Wendy Richard, and beside her the engaging Stephen Frost. Please welcome all four of them. If youíre not aware of the rules they will become obvious as we play the game which weíre going to begin today with Tony Hawks. Tony, the subject: duvets. Thatís a lovely subject. Talk on it if you can, 60 seconds are available starting now.

TONY HAWKS: Most governments donít really know what theyíre doing with their education policy. Theyíre always talking about bringing back the 3 Rs, reading writing and spelling. But the problem is...

BUZZ

NP: Ah yes Stephen you challenged.

STEVE FROST: Yes deviation, the subject was duvets and he was talking about politics.

NP: Well, he hadnít got on to the subject of duvets so that is deviation. Stephen, a correct challenge and Stephen gets a point for a correct challenge, he takes over the subject and there are 52 seconds available and Stephen you start now.

SF: Not many people know that duvet is Norweigan for sheep and this is where duvets come from. Why donít they actually...

BUZZ

NP: Wendy you challenged.

WENDY RICHARD: A hesitation I think there.

NP: Yes.

SF: I always hesitate around sheep!

TH: Thatís not what Iíve heard!

NP: Really, I donít think you should bring your private life into this show like that.

SF: I donít, the sheep do.

NP: Wendy you have a correct challenge so you get a point for a correct challenge and you have 45 seconds left. And you tell us something about duvets starting now.

WR: I personally donít care for duvets. I much prefer a blanket because I like to be tucked in all the way round the edges. But my Kent Terrier Shirley Brahms has three different duvets, one for the car, one for the kitchen...

BUZZ

NP: And Stephen Frost has challenged.

SF: And one for something here and one for something there...

WR: Sorry!

SF: He sounds a right one, that dog!

NP: So Stephen had another correct challenge, another point to him and 30 seconds still available Stephen duvets starting now.

SF: Iíve got a king size duvet, 7 foot 6 by 7....

BUZZ

NP: Itís a difiicult game, the 7 came out. Wendy got in first and duvets are back with you Wendy, 25 seconds starting now.

WR: I did have a duvet on the bed in the spare bedroom and once...

BUZZ

NP: Yes?

CLARE BALDING: Bed and bedroom, oh no...

WR: Bedroomís one word.

CB: I know, incorrect, Iím sorry.

NP: Donít worry, donít apologise. Itís a difficult game and you have to listen so carefully. So an incorrect challenge. Wendy, and you get a point for an incorrect challenge, you keep the subject, there are 21 seconds available starting now.

WR: The duvet was up there and I have to tell you it was a nightmare when it came to changing the cover on it. To struggle about with a duvet when it comes to laundry day and having to put the clean.... sheet...

BUZZ

WR: I almost got in trouble there!

NP: What did you say down there?

WR: No, it was sheet, thatís what I said Nicholas, donít panic!

NP: So Stephen 10 seconds are available, the subject is duvets and you start now.

SF: Most duvets are made of cotton, some of course nylon. But the best material that duvets can be...

BUZZ

NP: And Clare has challenged.

CB: A hesitation there, or a stumble.

NP: I donít think so!

SF: I donít think so!

NP: I know you havenít played as much as the others but not within the strict rules of Just A Minute.

WR: It sounded like desperation to me! I think Clareís right!

TH: Oh weíre back to the sheep again?

CB: Absolutely.

NP: No, Iím going to give Stephen the benefit of the doubt, and I always try to redress the balance if a situation can arise in your favour some other time Clare. So another point to Stephen and 6 seconds are available starting now.

SF: If you put the duvet cover on make sure that you are wearing gloves for any fingerprints on the...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: No! Stop, stop! No no! Wendy challenged half a second before the whistle. What was it?

WR: I think we were hesitating there werenít we?

SF: Yes, Iím going to admit it.

NP: And youíre going to admit it?

SF: Yes.

NP: So Wendyís cleverly got in with half a second to go on duvets starting now.

WR: Duvets...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking in this game when the whistle is blown gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Wendy Richard and you will not be surprised to discover she has taken a strong lead at the end of that round. Clare Balding will you take the next round. The subject, oh what a lovely one, one of my favourite things, bubble and squeak. I adore it. Can you tell us something about bubble and squeak in Just A Minute starting now.

CB: Bubble and squeak is probably a dish that Nicholas ate in his deprived childhood during the war. It was made up of the leftovers from Sunday lunch and it mainly consisted of cabbage and potatoes which didnít do wonders for the taste nor for the subsequent aroma of the room in which we were eating it. Not one of my favourite lunches is bubble and squeak.

BUZZ

NP: Tony has challenged.

CB: Grammar.

TH: Might have been a repetition of favourite, I think. Did she say it was one of your favourite dishes or not?

NP: No, I think she repeated lunches but that was not your challenge. And you have gained a point for an incorrect challenge and you have the subject still, 42 seconds, bubble and squeak starting now.

CB: If you were to devour bubble and squeak all day long you would end up feeling extremely sick and you would have a problem with your wind. It is not the best dish...

BUZZ

NP: Who? Stephen?

SF: It was like a commentary then, they were coming up to the sticks and they were jumping over.. A hesitation then.

NP: Iíll give it to you, a hesitation obviously. And Iím sorry I have to disagree with you, I think itís a great dish. I regularly have bubble and squeak. In fact I say to my wife save the leftovers please for my bubble and squeak. And she does, she gives me a great bubble and squeak.

WR: Now weíre getting into your personal life Nicholas.

NP: I know, I know, yes well you can call it different things canít you but there we are. Bubble and squeak is the subject, you have a correct challenge Stephen, you have a point for that, 32 seconds are left starting now.

SF: In the old days there was an old comedy double act called Bubble...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, whoís that? Tony, yes?

TH: Repetition of old. In the old days and they were an old double act.

NP: And itís a correct challenge.

SF: All right, itís just a game!

NP: I know but itís keen, isnít it keenness. 29 seconds for you Tony on bubble and squeak starting now.

TH: Nicholas Parsons is always inviting me round to his house to eat bubble and squeak he is so keen on it, and his wife makes lovely bubble and squeak and I can testify to that. I used to be cooked it by my Auntie Gladys, a fine old woman who would take me over her knee, but thatís another story I donít want to go into, and dish up this food and spoon it into my mouth. I was only two and a half years old at the time and wasnít able to hold those receptacles in my hand...

BUZZ

NP: Wendy?

WR: I think weíre struggling with the cutlery there arenít we?

NP: Definitely, Wendy, correct challenge and you have 5 seconds, bubble and squeak starting now.

WR: I always intend to make bubble and squeak from the leftovers of the Sunday lunch as Iím a great believer in greens.

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking as the whistle went as I said before gains a point. It was Wendy and with the other points in that round and the points from before, she is now in the lead, just ahead of Stephen Frost and trailing a little are Tony Hawks and Clare Balding. And whose turn is it to begin? Wendy Richard, itís your turn to begin. Croquet. Tell us something about that elegant game in this show starting now.

WR: I donít really know anything about croquet except that it is played with mallets, balls and hoops. Those of you who can remember Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts started a croquet game. She used those pink things, flamingoes for the things that you hit.

BUZZ

NP: Clare you challenged.

CB: I think probably just to put you out of your misery.

WR: Thank you very much.

NP: Yes. Hesitation yes. Clare, a correct challenge. You have 40 seconds available, another point of course, croquet the subject starting now.

CB: I believe Iím right in saying that croquet was originally invented as a game for ladies. They played it wearing very long skirts, because you could just get the mallet back between your legs without the skirt rising at all to show...

BUZZ

NP: Wendyís challenged.

WR: Two skirts.

CB: Skirts and skirt.

WR: Ooooh! Sorry Clar! Have a point!

NP: No no sheís..

CB: Clar? Youíre calling me Clar now?

NP: Yes, beacuse itís croquet, sheís calling her Clar. Clar Balding, yes there are 31 seconds left for croquet with you starting now.

CB: But since the development of this delightful game men joined in and it has now become rather vicious because you can in fact hit another players ball right off the croquet lawn. Think how much more interesting golf would be if Nick Faldo and Colin Montgomery when they hit their little white things...

BUZZ

NP: Tony why did you challenge?

TH: Sorry to interrupt, repetition of hit.

NP: Yes you were hit. You got away from repeating the word ball but you used the word hit. Oh, itís a tough game. But Tony you got in cleverly with 18 seconds available, croquet, starting now.

TH: Where Wimbledon tennis championships are played at the All England Club is also a croquet club, not a lot of people know...

BUZZ

NP: And, er...

SF: Two clubs.

NP: Two clubs, yes, well listened. Stephen, youíve got croquet, you have 11 seconds starting now.

SF: Not many people know this but croquet is Norweigan for goat. This word was brought over to England by the Anglo-Saxons of Norway when they invaded this country with the Vikings and made this game up using their helmets and the heads of the monks they killed...

WHISTLE

NP: Stephen Frost was speaking as the whistle went and earned an extra point for doing so, oh, heís equal in the lead now with Wendy Richard. Stephen itís actually your turn to begin. Oh this is an interesting subject: August the 11th 1999. Tell us something about that particular date starting now.

SF: August the 11th 1999 is actually the date of the total eclipse which will take part in this country over the peninsula of...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Clare?

CB: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation yes because he wanted to say take place and he said take part. Itís tricky, oh itís a tough game. But Clare you cleverly got in and you have 51 no 52 seconds, the 11th of August 1999.

CB: Until Stephen started his discourse on the eclipse which I so rudely interrupted I wasnít aware at all of the significance of August the 11th 1999. I merely heard the date and thought oh, itís two days after my best friendís birthday, have I missed it already again. But in fact it is the date when many people will be challenged...

BUZZ

NP: Tony you challenged.

TH: Repetition of date.

NP: Yes we had too much date there, and there are 37 seconds available for Tony to tell us something about the 11th of August 1999.

TH: The 11th of August 1999 is the night I am going to see the millennium in because there will be so many crowds on December the 31st. Get in there first, I say!

BUZZ

NP: Yes?

CB: Repetition of in. See it in, get in there first.

NP: Repetition of what?

CB: In.

NP: In! Thatís a tough challenge. In, a small word which often gets passed by, but no Clare a correct challenge, another point to you. 26 seconds available, the 11th of August 1999 starting now.

CB: It has occurred to me that that challenge was grossly unfair, it was only a very small word, but continuing as I must. August the 11th 1999, the whole world will be camped at Cornwall, not a good day to be on the A303 or on the M5...

BUZZ

NP: Er... oh yes I know the challenge! I didnít see which light came on, it was Stephen? Yes itís yours.

SF: Two threes.

NP: Yes, A303, A303.

CB: Oh! Thatís awful!

NP: A303, thatís the way to play the game, thatís why you have to listen. The 11th of August is back with you Stephen with another point as well, the 11th of August 1999.

SF: The 11th of August 1999 is of course 10 days away from the 1st of August 1999.

BUZZ

NP: Clare you challenged, why?

CB: Oh, it is! Forget I said anything! Those years of education totally lost on me!

NP: You donít give the betting odds as well do you when youíre at the racing?

CB: Oh very badly, very badly!

NP: So Stephen the 11th of August 1999 is with you starting now.

SF: On that morning the skies will grow dark!

BUZZ

TH: Iím afraid his brain has as well!

SF: I was going for the drama!

TH: Itís not an acting performance we want!

NP: A hesitation and 4 seconds Tony, the 11th of August 1999 starting now.

TH: The 11th of August 1999 will be my birthday as it was the previous year and the one before.

WHISTLE

NP: Tony Hawks was then speaking as the whistle went, and gained the extra point for doing so. He is moving forward, heís now equal with Clare Balding just behind Wendy Richard but Stephen Frost has taken the lead. And Tony Hawks your turn to begin. The subject: jam. A lot of people donít know that those are the initials we use for this particular programme, Just A Minute, itís colloquially referred to as jam. Would you talk about the subject of jam, 60 seconds if you can starting now.

TH: One very good way to impress people is to go up to them and say did you know that Just A Minute is J-A-M, jam. And they will be so bowled over by how impressive a figure you are knowing that they...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Clare you challenged.

CB: Repetition of impressed.

NP: Yes impressed too much impression.

TH: It was impressive a figure the second time.

NP: Impressive and impressed. Yes right. Youíve got it Tony, 50 seconds still on jam starting now.

TH: A good thing to do when youíre in a traffic jam is to let a little bit of a gap develop in front of you and look in the mirror and see how it is irritating the person in the car behind. Then donít fill it and let it get really big and then they try to overtake you, then zoom up into it like that. It really makes them angry and they shout at you and the veins come out on their neck and itís really pleasing...

BUZZ

NP: Clare.

CB: Really.

NP: Really. Yes there were two reallys there. So Clare another point to you for a correct challenge, and you have 34 seconds left to tell us something about jam starting now.

CB: My jam deedleibibeet...

BUZZ

SF: Hesitation there.

NP: Hesitation, you get another point there for a correct challenge and there are 31 seconds left, jam, starting now.

SF: My favourite jam is strawberry seedless jam because the pips donít...

BUZZ

WR: Sorry, sorry, it was an accident. I was so excited because I love strawberry jam. It was just automatic reflex, I do apologise. It wasnít meant to be a challenge.

NP: Oh dear because you interrupted Stephen he gets a point for that. He keeps the subject, he has 26 seconds jam starting now.

SF: I used to make it when I was a child. We would pick the strawberries from a ... place...

BUZZ

NP: Clare?

CB: Strawberries from a... a hesitation.

NP: Youíre right there Clare, you got in, another point to you, 22 seconds available, jam, starting now.

CB: Which gives me a chance to explain what I was trying to do earlier which was to sing a rap, it begins...

BUZZ

WR: We had a wee hesitation there.

NP: We did indeed Wendy yes. She was trying to say it but she couldnít get it out that time either. There are 17 seconds on jam with you starting now.

WR: I really love jam, especially on toast...

BUZZ

NP: And why have you challenged Stephen?

SF: I got excited when she said jam! This is fantastic! This is fantastic!

NP: What youíve done is a sort of tit for that which is very fair, she gets a point for an incorrect challenge and there are 14 seconds on jam with you Wendy starting now.

WR: Itís very difficult to say...

BUZZ

SF: Iím going to go for hesitation there.

NP: I think youíre right there!

WR: I was trying to draw in my breath to start speaking!

SF: You should have drawn in your breath before you came here!

WR: That is really unfair Stephen!

NP: Wendy I must be fair in Just A Minute, there was a full 2 seconds before you started speaking.

WR: Excuse me! I was opening...

NP: In this game you have to get going much quicker than that. You know that, youíve played it many times before with great success.

WR: I know and Iíve had this argument before.

NP: Yes Iíve got to be fair within the rules of Just A Minute. So Stephen has a correct challenge and he has 12 seconds, jam, starting now.

SF: If you take lots of sugar, boil it up with the fruit of your choice, and make sure that youíve got enough gelatine so that itís nice and firm and spreads...

BUZZ

NP: And Wendy has challenged.

WR: Repetition of nice.

NP: Yes you said nice before. She was determined to get in again, no matter what you said, she was going to get in again.

SF: Itís like being cross-examined by Perry Mason on drugs.

NP: Wendy you cleverly got in with only 3 seconds on jam starting now.

WR: My favourite jams are strawberry, gooseberry, lemon...

BUZZ

NP: Clare challenged her before the whistle.

CB: Strawberry from before.

NP: No, she didnít say strawberry.

CB: She did.

NP: No no he said strawberry.

CB: But you did too, you buzzed him and...

NP: But she wasnít playing the game at that time...

SF: She said how much she wanted strawberry jam on toast.

NP: She said how much she...

CB: Iíve given you another point then.

WR: Thank you.

CB: Thatís all right.

NP: Another point but only half a second to go, jam is with Wendy starting now.

WR: Marmalade!

WHISTLE

NP: And there goes the whistle again. Itís very hard trying to control the show and also tell the chap to blow the whistle at the right moment. Anyway Wendy Richard was then speaking as that whistle went. She gained that extra point for doing so. Sheís now equal in the lead with Stephen Frost. theyíre sitting side by side, thereís a great needle match going on between them. And trailing a liitle behind them are Tony Hawks and Clare Balding. And who is going to begin the next round. It is Clare Balding, April showers. Oh! Tell us something! Weíre in the month of April but tell us about the showers starting now.

CB: I think this is a phrase they put into the travel guides when theyíre trying to sell holidays to Britain to Americans to just make up for the fact that it rains all the time in April. April showers sounds so much more charming than the fact that you just thought spring was here, you walked out onto the park wearing a T-shirt and shorts for the first time and it starts to pee down with the wet stuff. And you find that your breasts are on show to all sorts of strangers in the park...

BUZZ

NP: Well, whoís challenged? Tony?

CB: I was getting carried away!

TH: Iím afraid that got me rather excited!

NP: So what is your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

TH: Possible deviation there, you know complete deviation ....

NP: No, I think the picture she painted was quite clear to me actually, Iím getting rather excited! Iím going to let her continue, Iím enjoying this particular part of the show. Tony we enjoyed the challenge so we give you a bonus point for a delightful challenge but Clare gets a point for being interrupted and continues on April showers with 37 seconds available starting now.

CB: As you wander outside as I said wearing very little you will find that the wet water that is...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Tony?

TH: Repetition of wet.

NP: Yes you had a bit too much wet.

CB: Oh did I?

NP: Yes, you did try and get out of it with a rtaher prosaic water but we wonít emphasise that. 32 seconds Tony, April showers starting now.

TH: (singing) Though April showers may come your way they bring the showers that come...

BUZZ

NP: Whoís challenged? Yes, showers?

SF: Deviation, out of tune!

TH: I think I sang the wrong words actually didnít I!

WR: You did! You did!

NP: You could have had him for... Yes darling?

WR: No, he did, he sang the wrong words.

NP: I know but that wasnít the challenge, it was for the wrong tune and I think you can take...

CB: Or the wrong programme!

NP: Or the wrong programme, and you can take... if you had challenged for the wrong words I would have given it to you but the fact that he was on the wrong tune doesnít matter, because you can take a song and put it to a different tune, they often do it on Iím Sorry I Havenít A Clue.

WR: It wasnít actually the wrong tune, he said he was out of tune. But that was the right tune for April Showers.

NP: If heís out of tune, itís the wrong tune isnít it?

WR: No...

SF: I just want to say weíd better hurry up because weíve got to clear out of here by 6.00, weíve got to do a remake of Crossroads in here!

NP: Right! So it was an incorrect challenge. Tony you keep the subject of April showers and you have 26 seconds starting now.

TH: April showers me with gifts every time I go around to her house. She finds me so attractive. And who wouldnít? After all I am a very charming and delectable man indeed. But less of that and more of April showers that come from the sky. They fall down onto your head and you become damp and your breasts become very .... (makes shapely breasts gestures)

BUZZ

WR: I think heís definitely a deviant!

NP: I agree with you he is a deviant, but I will give it to you, it is deviation because I canít believe however the weather his breasts could become all peculiar like that. And so Wendy, a correct challenge and there are 8 seconds on April showers starting now.

WR: April showers give one the impression of a light rainbow...

BUZZ

SF: There was a bit of a stumble there.

NP: A bit of a stumble, yes, there was.

SF: And you didnít bring up your dog again either.

NP: Stephen there are 4 seconds on April showers starting now.

SF: This is when the rain falls down quite lightly in the month of April, this is why itís called April showers.

WHISTLE

NP: Stephen Frost was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, if youíre interested in the points because I always think the contribution is more important than that. But Stephen Frost is indeed in the lead, just one ahead of Wendy Richard and just behind them, not many points separating them are Tony Hawks and Clare Balding in that order. And Wendy your turn to begin. The subject, mid life crisis. Can you ... donít be unkind, itís a wonderful subject, itís a very important subject, itís a significant subject which...

CB: A subject very dear to your heart obviously!

NP: Thank you Clare! Why do you always clap when theyíre rude to me, thatís what I want to know. Anyway no I think Iím past my midlife crisis. Iím reaching my elderly crisis. Anyway mid life crisis is the subject Wendy and you start now.

WR: I think midlife crisises come in many shapes and forms...

BUZZ

NP: Yes, Tony?

TH: Iím sorry to be a bit smug here but itís crises I think!

CB: Iím very glad you said that! Because you did sound very smug!

NP: No, itís crisis! Thatís what is written on the card!

TH: Yes but the plural of that is crises!

NP: Yes it is but thatís not whatís written. Itís written as mid life crisis.

CB: But Wendy said crisises. Shall we take him to one side and go through this again?

TH: I think it was too smug a challenge anyway. Carry on! I was showing off in a horrible way and everyone hates me.

NP: Well, Iím afraid those who havenít had your classical education might well talk about criseses. But and we do in East Enders accept that. So let us be generous to Wendy on this occasion and say Wendy, donít say it again carry on on midlife crisis, 56 seconds starting now.

WR: Mid life crisis can take many shapes and forms. As far as I was concerned I had a midlife crisis the other morning when my washing machine flooded all over the kitchen floor. I had to get a mop and bucket, well, actually I didnít, somebody else did it for me and clear up all this mucky stuff which had sudeenly appeared from behind this piece of apparatus. Other times...

BUZZ

NP: Clare...

CB: Hesitation, I know you were really struggling.

WR: Thank you.

NP: No, I donít think you were.

WR: You donít?

NP: No, I...

WR: You hate me, donít you?

NP: Iím being nice to you!

CB: She wants to be interrupted!

TH: I think itís very laudable to have a mid life crisis where somebody else clears up for you!

NP: No, I disagree with Clareís challenge, I donít think you were hesitating.

WR: Thank you.

NP: So you can carry on with your midlife crisis. Tell us more about the traumas and dramas in your life and there are 35 to do it starting now.

WR: The character I play in East Enders is called Pauline Fowler and she has had so many mid...

BUZZ

SF: Is that her?

NP: Yes!

SF: Oh no! And youíre just sitting right here next to me! Iím a big fan! Didnít know it was you! Fantastic! Wondered who this was going on next to me!

NP: Have you got a photo for him?

WR: No!

SF: Of the washing machine?

WR: Of the washing machine!

NP: So give a bonus point to Stephen because we enjoyed the challenge or we enjoyed the interruption. But you get a point for that Wendy because you were interrupted and you continue on midlife crisis starting now.

WR: Well, that character has had so many mid life crisis...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Tony?

TH: Repetition of character.

NP: Yes you mentioned the character you played, Pauline, before.

WR: Right.

NP: Iím not being unkind but that was correct.

WR: No.

NP: Tony Hawks has got the subject, heís got 27 seconds, heís got a midlife crisis, well, you havenít got a mid life crisis, heís got the subject of midlife crisis, and you start now.

TH: I had a midlife crisis when my cooker broke down and Jeeves the butler took 25 minutes to fix it. I was...

BUZZ

WR: Iím challenging. Heís taking the mickey out of me! But you know, heís just trying to copy what I said so really, that is repetition!

SF: Yeah! Yeah!

NP: No...

WR: And itís not just said so nicely as I did!

NP: But you can take anybody elseís material to recycle if you want, as long as you donít repeat yourself or any of your own words. Anyone can do it. It would make for a boring...

WR: But itís obvious what heís doing, thereís not an original thought came out then!

SF: But thatís Pauline!

NP: I know it is!

SF: You canít disagree with her! Sheís a goddess!

WR: Iíll get the frying pan out in a minute!

NP: Leave it out, leave it out, this is family, leave it out! Family family leave it out!

WR: Actually thatís not my family who says that Nicholas itís the Bishops, weíre the nice ones!

NP: I know it isnít darling yes. So what is your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute.

WR: What I said is really his was repetition because he was just reiterating what I had said earlier on.

NP: I know, but thatís not one of the rules of Just A Minute. He can repeat it all if he can remember it. So, Iím sorry but itís an incorrect challenge.

TH: Iím not sorry. Iím absolutely delighted!

WR: What you mean he can repeat everything I said if he can remember it?

NP: Wendy darling I love you dearly. Iíve known you for years. Youíve played this game many times. Anybody can recycle anybody elseís material.

WR: Youíre changing the rules!

NP: Iím not changing the rules.

WR: Yes you are because we got into trouble....

CB: Wendy, Pauline, whoever you are, I think youíre having your mid life crisis right here! It isnít the end of the world, it is just a game.

NP: He hasnít said those words before. So Tony, you had an incorrect challenge and a point and you have midlife crisis and there are 19 seconds starting now.

TH: Some people stay that the midlife crisis...

BUZZ

SF: He said stay!

NP: I know! Heíd gone all over it! He must have been intimidated by the...

SF: (to Wendy) Right it worked, your plan has worked! Next you buzz me and jump in, then Iíll buzz you! (Rubs hands) Could you mind my desk for me, Iím going off for a pint!

NP: Stephen, 17 seconds your mid life crisis, starting now.

SF: I remember the first time I saw someone having a mid life crisis. It wasnít a pretty sight, their hair was falling out, they were crying and dribbling, and in fact...

BUZZ

NP: And whoís challenged? Itís Tony.

TH: He was looking in the mirror!

NP: Oh theyíre so rude to each other! Tony, the audience laughed so you have a bonus point. And Stephen you get a point for being interrupted, and you still have the subject, 8 seconds starting now.

SF: If you have a mid life crisis, the first thing to remember is donít... (starts to giggle)

BUZZ

NP: Wendy!

WR: I think there was a hesitation there.

NP: There definitely was. Iím always fair Wendy, a correct challenge, another point to you letís hear more about.. and youíve cleverly got in with only 2 seconds to go. It pays to wait you see because youíll probably keep going for these 2 seconds on your mid-life crisis starting now.

WR: Midlife crisis can occur to most people ....

WHISTLE

NP: Wendy Richard speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point. Let me give you now the final situation or the final score now. Clare Balding who hasnít played the game as much as the others came actually in 4th place but it was a very strong 4th place, bringing up the rear. Had it been on horseback of course sheíd have been way out in the lead. And then came Tony Hawks and had he been on horseback heíd have been way way behind by now. And had
Stephen been on horseback he wouldnít have been on the show at all. But Wendy Richard who takes to the air with such aplomb and did so well, one point ahead of Stephen, so Wendy we say youíre our winner today. Everybodyís happy about that and this is a fun game, it really gets the adrenalin going and all kinds of things can happen but weíve enjoyed ourselves. So can I say on behalf of our talented guests, Tony Hawks, Clare Balding, Wendy Richard
Stephen Frost, and myself Nicholas Parsons we hope youíve enjoyed the show today and will want to be with us again the next time we play Just A Minute. Until then from all of us here goodbye.