JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,PJones,AMacdonald
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WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, PETER JONES and AIMI MACDONALD, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 4 November 1975)


Note: This was transcribed by Vicki Walker. Thank you Vicki! :-)


THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Peter Jones and Aimi Macdonald in Just a Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away, here to tell you about it is our chairman, Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you! Thank you very much indeed. Hello, and welcome once again to Just a Minute. And also we welcome Aimi Macdonald back to play against our three regular male competitors. And also Iím going to ask them to speak if they can for Just A Minute on some subject that I will give them without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And weíll begin the show this week with, ah, Derek Nimmo. Derek, would you talk on the subject of democracy. Thereís a good subject to begin a show with! Ah, 60 seconds, Derek, starting now.

DEREK NIMMO: Democracy, government for the people by the ditto. I think we can often think in this kind today that some of our democratic freedoms are being eroded from pressures within and also from outside, something which I think we must work hard to prevent. I think one of the things that we do notice that the system that we employ is not necessarily fair. If, for instance, we had proportional representation in this country, then we would feel that people were more democratically represented in Parliament than they are at present. For instance, in our...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PETER JONES: Repetition of for instance.

NP: Yes, there was, yes.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: That was very interesting. I mean, I was moved.

NP: Yes, it was very interesting.

AIMI MACDONALD: Oh, it was super.

PJ: But it wasnít supposed...

KW: I think we could all do with a bit of this here.

AM: Yes.

KW: You know, I think thereís too much levity. I mean, I would rather hear him out.

PJ: You ought to be on Thought for the Day.

KW: Oh.

NP: And that remark about levity coming from you, Kenneth, I thought was, um, but, um, Peter, you have a correct challenge. You have a point. You take over the subject. There are 23 seconds left on democracy, starting now.

PJ: Although there is a great deal to be said in favor of the communist system, I do believe that democracy, handed down to us from the Greeks and being the only...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Kenneth Williams.

KW: Deviation! Did I hear aright? "There is a great deal to be said for the communist system"? Did I hear aright?

PJ: Yes, I said it.

KW: Did I hear aright? I mean, if he wants, why doesnít he go and live there? How disgraceful! To sit in with a mother of Parliament, the country's state...

NP: Um, Kenneth, in Just a Minute you can speak, uh, anyway you wish and as long as you donít deviate from the subject on the card, and he was leading from communism to democracy, therefore I donít think he was deviating. And therefore, he has another point for an incorrect challenge, 13 seconds left, democracy, Peter, starting now.

PJ: And democracy, unlike that arrangement prevailing in Russia, was brought about not by force but by the votes of individual people. And for...

WHISTLE

PJ: ...that reason alone, I will persist...

NP: Youíve created such an emotional response that Ian Messiter, he nearly swallowed his whistle. He only got half a blow out but he did let us know 60 seconds was up and whoever speaks at that moment gets the extra point. It was on this occasion Peter Jones, so Peter, at the end of the round you have a commanding lead, in fact, you're the only one who scored any points. Kenneth, will you begin the next round? The subject is hunting. I donít know why Ian Messiterís thought of hunting for you. But would you talk about it for 60 seconds, starting now.

KW: This is something I frequently do. I hunt through a drawer to find the object I wish to hold in my hand. And then I go back, find I canít see it at all! And then I ring up the doctor and he says to me, "Well, of course weíve got 15 million brain cells and weíre losing 100 every day." And I say, "No!" He said, "Yes! Off you go in and wonder why youíve gone in...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald challenged.

AM: Well, definitely deviation. He, heís not talking about hunting at all now, is he?

NP: No, I think heís gone off...

AM: Heís talking about doctors.

PJ: Aimi, he was hunting for his brain cells in the drawer!

NP: That could be the only possible answer, but I donít think he would find his brain cells in the drawer. No, heíd gone off to doctors and brain cells, away from hunting. I agree with your challenge, Aimi. You have a point. You have 37 seconds on hunting, starting now.

AM: The loveliest bit about it are the pictures that are painted. These beautiful red and white and green things of horses with their tails swished...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Deviation. In hunting parlance, itís not red. Itís pink.

NP: Yes, but she was describing the picture using the word red to describe hunting pink...

AM: Yes.

NP: ...which is a correct definition, a correct description of hunting pink.

AM: And the artist Iím thinking about drew it in red, actually.

NP: And Aimi, you have a point because I disagree with the challenge. And you have 27 seconds on hunting, starting now.

AM: I do feel sorry for the little fox, though, donít you? When you see it scampering over the fields and these great horses lumbering after it and those terrible dogs. You see, Iím more, Iím a bit anti-blood sport myself...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of horses.

NP: Yes, you did say horses before when you were talking about the picture.

AM: Did I?

NP: Yes, Iím afraid you did.

AM: Oh.

NP: So Peter has a point for that and 15 seconds on hunting, starting now.

PJ: "The uneatable pursued by the unspeakable" was somebodyís description of, ah, hunting. I canít quite recall who it was. A famous...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo.

DN: Oscar Wilde.

NP: Oscar Wilde.

KW: Brilliant! Bravo!

PJ: But thatís not a challenge!

NP: Iím afraid I canít give you a bonus point for showing off, Derek.

DN: Oh, itís, you know...

KW: Thatís not showing off. Thatís a literate gentleman there, enlightening us all. A literate gentleman! We should have more of them in this world!

PJ: But since I misquoted it, I felt I was doing Oscar Wilde a favour by not, uh, actually mentioning his name.

KW: A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

NP: Ah, it wasnít a correct challenge, so Peter, youíve got a point...

PJ: Thanks.

NP: ...and five seconds on hunting starting now.

PJ: Yes, looking about for these small insects with a butterfly net is one of the most boring practices adopted...

WHISTLE

NP: Once again, Peter Jones was speaking when the whistle went. He gained more points in the round as well, so heís now increased his lead. Um, Aimiís in second place and Kenneth and Derek for once have yet to score. Aimi Macdonald, will you begin the next round? The subject: economy. Can you talk about economy for 60 seconds starting now.

AM: Well, I donít know about you, but I always think a very good way to economise, for me in particular, would be to cut down on soap powder. Because I tend to put too much into the basin, and then I get, when I fill this thing up with water, I get far too many bubbles, you see. And then they take absolutely hours to get rid of, so in a way youíre sort of combining two things. You can, youíre, instead of standing at the basin for two hours waiting for those terrible bubbles to go...

BUZZ

AM: Iíve said it, Iíve done it twice.

NP: Uh, yes, you did. Derek?

DN: Assorted challenges, but Iíll settle for bubbles, I think.

AM: Yes, I did.

NP: All right, Bubbles, youíve got the subject. You have 33 seconds on economy, starting now.

DN: Yes, I like to be economical. I have an agent who is extraordinarily filled with economy. One day he was seen to walk along the street and pick up a rubber band. And a friend that was with him said, "Good heavens! What do you pick those up for?" He said "Well, I, I always use them again." And he said, "Do you know, a dog or anything". And he said, "Thatís all right, I wash them first."

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Well, repetition because he said "Well, I, I." He said I twice. Oh, he did!

NP: I donít, I actually didnít hear it.

AM: Ask the audience. I saw somebody down there...

DN: Thank you so much, yes.

NP: There was one person there. No, Aimi, I donít think it was a sufficiently good challenge, so we leave the subject with Derek and there are 13 seconds on economy, Derek, starting now.

DN: I think we ought to be more economical in this country. We throw away far too many things we really could use again, like bottles. It is absolutely disgraceful that tins of things are discarded for no purpose at all! Newspapers which could be recycled...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Why donít you give them to your agent?

NP: Well, Derek interrupted Peter, and um, oh, did Peter, Peter got a point? Then, then Derek must have a point for that interruption. And there are three seconds on economy, Derek, starting now.

DN: Go down to the sea in ships, I say...

WHISTLE

DN: I canít think why!

NP: Right, so ah, at the end of that round Peterís still in the lead and Derekís in second place. And Peter Jones, your turn to begin. The subject is clerihews. Would you talk on them if you can for 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Yes, Edmund or Edward Clerihew Bentley started them. A new form of, ah, verse. I donít remember very many. Sir Christopher Wren/Dined with some men, he said if anyone calls tell them Iím designing St. Paulís. And Clive, I remember, of India. He, his was, ah...

BUZZ

PJ: There are a great many...

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Yeah, but letís hear what Clive was first.

PJ: Clive. The thing I like about Clive is that heís no longer alive, thereís a lot... thereís a lot to be said for being dead."

NP: A very good clerihew. Well done. Thank you very much.

PJ: Thank you. But not my own, you know.

NP: I know.

PJ: Oscar Wilde, actually!

NP: But Iím afraid you hesitated. Derek had a correct challenge. And there were 35 seconds at that moment, and Derek, you take over the subject of clerihews starting now.

DN: Yes, I suppose a sort of topical example of the thing would be The chairman of this game is always the same, the fact that heís a clot matters not a jot...

BUZZ

DN: But Iíve always got my own...

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Well, gratuitous offensiveness.

KW: Yes, it was rude, itís true. It was rude, you know.

NP: But I would have challenged for hesitation, because there was at least five seconds before he said a word.

PJ: Hesitation, yes, thatís what I meant. Hesitation.

NP: Um, there are 16 seconds on clerihews with you, Peter, starting now.

PJ: Oh, well I canít remember any more.

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Derek Nimmo?

DN: Um, hesitation.

NP: Yes, so you got an equal score there. Clerihews back with you, Derek, starting now.

DN: George the Third ought never to have occurred, one only can wonder at so grave a blunder is another one written by Edmund Clerihew Bentley, who died I think as recently as 1958. Not very long ago! Although he was born in the last century...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, uh, at the end of that round Derek got more points, so heís moved up into equal place in the lead with Peter Jones. There are 60 seconds for someone to speak now, and it is Derek Nimmo, on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: This is the tale of Solomon Grundy, born on Monday, christened Tuesday, married Wednesday, taken ill on Thursday, worse on Friday, died on Saturday...

BUZZ

DN: buried Sunday, and that was the end..

NP: And youíve challenged. Aimi challenged on Friday.

AM: Repetition, Ďcause he was repeating the days of the week.

NP: Well, he was repeating the, no, he actually wasnít repeating the days of the week.

DN: No!

NP: He never repeated Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday. He just said each day in succession. Which is a good challenge, but it was...

KW: Good challenge? Itís absolutely ridiculous! It was idiotic!

NP: I think it was a good challenge, but it was also incorrect. So Derek has a point, and there are 47 seconds, Derek, on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: Died on Saturday, buried on Sunday, And that was the end/Of Solomon Grundy. Now one wonders, really, if one begins to analyze that little poem, what Mrs Grundy was up to. It was very shortly after the nuptials that he fell into this great sickness, was it not? Then as soon as he was deceased, he was popped into a grave without a postmortem! Something sinister, I think! What had she been putting into his porridge, I ask? Might it have been the weed killer? Nobody knows! Because it was not, they didnít wait three days like they normally do, no! No sooner than the corpse was...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald challenged.

DN: Shut up!

AM: No, no sooner! He said two nos!

NP: No, no, no, three times no. Aimi, you have a correct challenge.

AM: Thank you. At last!

NP: And you have, uh, 16 seconds on Solomon Grundy, starting now.

AM: Solomon Grundy used to visit my flat once a month solidly for seven months. He used to come up the stairs with his big ladder, knock on my door and come in and clean my windows. He was an expert window...

BUZZ

AM: Damn it!

NP: Uh, Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Ah, repetition of window.

AM: Yes.

NP: Yes, Iím afraid so. Derek, thereís half a second left for Solomon Grundy, starting now.

DN: And he used to visit my flat on Tuesday.

WHISTLE

NP: So Solomon Grundy got Derek Nimmo a great number of points and heís now got a strong lead at the end of that round. Peter Jones is still in second place, Aimi Macdonald in third, Kenneth in fourth. And Kenneth, your turn to begin and the subject now is Mrs Grundy, starting now.

KW: This is a lady who never actually appears in Tom Waltonís play Speed the Plow. And sheís come now to represent all that is propriety, conventionally proper in the English way of life. Heís an interesting playwright because Dame Ashfield, who again reiterates a lot throughout the action of this piece, "Oh! What would Mrs. Grundy...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Oh, heís doing it again, you know, that way he talks.

NP: No, heís not doing it this time. He was --

AM: But he said, "Oh!"

NP: No, no.

AM: He takes 12 seconds to say Oh!

NP: The last time...

KW: I wish theyíd get rid of that female impersonator over there, I really do!

NP: Iíll tell you one thing, Kenneth, youíve still got the subject. And you have 32 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

KW: She never appears, you see, but always referred to, which is fascinating...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Derek challenged.

DN: Repetition of referred to.

NP: Derek, you have the ch, er, um, the subject after a correct challenge and 28 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

DN: Mrs Grundy was the wife of Mr Grundy, the well-known window cleaner, who used to bring back fascinating information about...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonaldís challenged.

AM: Heís pinching my material, Ďcause I was going to use that.

NP: In other words, the Mrs Grundy, the Mr Grundy heís talking about was not married to Solomon Grundy.

AM: No, she was, but I was going to use it.

NP: Aimi, Iím trying to help you!

AM: Oh, I see.

NP: I was going to say that Mrs Grundy heís talking about was not married to the Solomon Grundy who cleaned your windows. So therefore he was deviating and you have the subject and there are 20 seconds on Mrs Grundy starting now.

AM: Sheís a very sweet little woman. And she very often comes with him. And she comes into my...uh-oh!

BUZZ

AM: Yes, Iíve done it.

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Comes two times.

AM: Two comes.

NP: Um, Derek, you have 14 seconds on Mrs Grundy, starting now.

DN: Mrs Grundy, I suppose, really refers to something that you donít want the neighbours to hear about. Itís that kind of feeling thatís really odd by any chance the woman next door, Mrs Grundy. Outside Ipswitch is a Mrs Grundy who sells stockings on Tuesdays to Kenneth Williams...

WHISTLE

NP: Aimi Macdonald, itís your turn to begin. Would you talk on the subject of putting on my tights for 60 seconds starting now.

AM: This is a very tricky operation. Itís better if you can sit down first. Then you get the tights between your hands, hold one half in one hand, slip the other hand down the leg of one...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Well, a lot of repetitions here.

NP: Only one, just one.

KW: Hand came into it several times.

NP: Yes, hands did several times.

AM: Well, you do have two hands, darling.

NP: In Just a Minute, you have to say your left hand and...

AM: I was talking about one hand, then I was talking about the other hand.

NP: Yes, so Kenneth, uh, 46 seconds on putting on my tights starting now.

KW: While playing in 18th century costume, this has frequently happened to me. And I found a favourite device was to sprinkle talcum inside the stocking before I actually peeled it, so to speak, over a very shapely foot and a lovely, almost velvetlike ankle. And spectators passing the dressing room were wont to pause, quiver with excitement and say...

BUZZ

KW: ... "Oh! What a beautiful pair of legs!" Whoís interrupting me?

NP: Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Me!

KW: Oh, it would be her, wouldnít it? I donít know why they have women on this show, I really donít! I mean, itís a manís game, isnít it, Peter?

NP: Uh, Aimi, what?

PJ: Not the way youíre playing it.

NP: Aimi, why did you challenge?

PJ: All this business about tights.

KW: Whatís she on about with her challenge?

AM: Because youíve got a very high opinion of yourself. I donít think youíve got shapely legs.

KW: That is your challenge, is it?

AM: Yes.

NP: You think itís deviation.

PJ: Show them! Show them!

NP: All right, then!

PJ: He's got very shapely legs.

NP: First of all, Kenneth will show his legs to the audience and then Iíll put it to the audience to judge because Iím not going to judge. All right, now to be quite fair, if you think Kennethís got a shapely leg, you cheer for Kenneth and if you agree with Aimi that heís got an unshapely leg, youíll boo for her. All together now.

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

PJ: Now itís Aimiís turn!

NP: There are 14 seconds, 13 and a half, actually, for putting on my tights, Kenneth, starting now.

KW: Having put them on, the problem then was to keep them taut. This was only arranged for me by a suspension belt. And the lady in charge of the costumes...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Itís not a suspension belt, itís called a suspender belt.

NP: Well, he might have called it a suspension belt.

AM: Oh, no. Thatís ridiculous. Nobody calls it suspension belt.

NP: Well, actually, heís not talking about...

PJ: It was built for him by the people who did that arrangement at Sydney Harbour.

NP: Now really, heís not, heís no longer talking about putting on my tights. Heís talking now not about putting on my tights but about how I keep my tights on.

AM: Oh, well, thatís deviation. Thatís completely...

NP: And thatís not the subject. Yes, so Aimi, you have two seconds on putting on my tights, starting now.

KW: Two seconds? Thatís disgraceful! Thatís just giving this subject which I worked on like... I mean, Iíve worked, havenít I? Iíve worked! Youíve seen me work! The sweatís pouring off me, and now with two seconds youíre going to give it to that numbskull over there?

AM: Oh, shall I give it to him then?

DN: We donít want it to be said that he plays to the gallows.

NP: No.

AM: I thought that was a beautiful piece of comedy business, that. Shall I give it to him?

NP: No, no! Because I think you have a correct challenge and -- Iíll tell you what, Iíll be quite fair. I wonít charge any points to anybody. Let Kenneth continue for two seconds on putting on my tights starting now.

KW: And in the lift they said you always wear your corsets round your ankles which was rather unfortunate...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, Kennethís tights gained him some points, but heís still in fourth place. Aimiís in third place, one behind Peter Jones, and heís quite a long way behind our leader, who is still Derek Nimmo. But Peter, itís your turn to begin and the subject is gorillas. Would you talk about them for 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Well, there are various types of grillers. Thereís the eye-level griller and the infra-red griller.

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Well, I mean, heís talking about an oven.

NP: Heís talking about...

AM: What does that have to do with a gorilla?

PJ: Oh, well, Iíll change the whole, uh, tack all together. There were two gorillas walking along Regent Street. And one said to the other, "It doesnít seem like a Tuesday, does it?" "No," replied the other. "There are not many people about."

NP: Let us get on with Just a Minute. Peter, you have 50 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

PJ: I believe theyíre very kind to their children, and they beat their chests, jump up and down and eat a great deal of green foliage. Theyíre not actually, ah, carnivores, because theyíre, they, bananas are very popular.

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: I think youíre right, Derek.

AM: Yes. Yes.

NP: And you have 36 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

DN: Well, if today we can have urban guerillas, then presumably rural guerillas as well! Theyíre all over the place, shooting around and causing disturbances, standing outside Ė

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Thatís just not true, is it?

NP: Yes, but heís taken the word guerillas in the sense of people who fight, underground fighters.

AM: Oh, of course! Oh, Iím sorry.

NP: I know itís spelled differently. G-U-E-R-

AM: Oh, yes. Ah, yes.

NP: -I-L-L-A-S. But itís pronounced the same and itís the way itís pronounced that you take it.

AM: Is it?

NP: Yes. So he really has a point for that challenge, Aimi. And he has 28 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

DN: If Aimi Macdonald were going to London Zoo, she would see there gorillas of the kind that she would expect to find.

AM: But you know the guy?

DN: Oh, shut up!

AM: Oh, I love him!

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

AM: Oh, Iím sorry.

PJ: Find. He said find twice.

NP: Yes. You did say find twice. It wasnít the hesitation caused by Aimiís, ah, interruption.

DN: I see.

NP: So Peter Jones, you have a correct challenge and there are 17 seconds on gorillas, starting now.

PJ: Yes, this huge gorilla that I think Derek was going to mention, and in fact Aimi did, used to sit there looking marvelous and people used to annoy me because they threw ice creams...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo.

DN: Used to, twice.

NP: Yes, thatís right, Derek, and five seconds for you on gorillas starting now.

DN: Out to the jungle we go with Tarzan and there we find them rushing around, swinging through the trees with their babies on their backs and lots of hair...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, Derek has really increased his lead. Heís double the number of points of Peter Jones, whoís in second place, and Aimi and Kenneth are just a little way behind Peter. And Derek, it is your turn to begin again. The subject is snap. Can you talk on that, 60 seconds, starting now.

DN: Snap is a little game that one plays sometimes with children. Itís quite fun, rather noisy and one tends to let them win it, because it makes them the better humour. Also, if youíre wearing tights which are held together with suspensions, then you sometimes might hear a loud snap as the elastic breaks. And gosh, that could be most embarrassing, I can tell you! I was once standing on the stage...

BUZZ

NP: Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: I was just going to say that wouldnít be true.

NP: What wouldnít be true?

AM: Well, he wouldnít be wearing tights with suspensions and...

NP: I know, but you see, you can say whatever you like in Just a Minute providing you donít deviate from the subject, and whoís to know that he doesnít? What do we know what Derek wears underneath his suit?

AM: Thatís true!

NP: How do we know what he wears underneath his, ah, yes. All right Derek, 36 seconds on snap, starting now.

DN: The snap of a twig in the forest. Red Indians walking towards the plantation where the young settlers are there with their young children...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Two theres. Oh, definitely.

NP: Two youngs. Two youngs.

KW: What are you doing there, helping her or being a chairman?

NP: Iím being, doing both.

KW: Iím being, doing both?

NP: Yes. A Freudian slip: Iím being, doing both, yes. And as he canít be with us this week, he did send all his love to all his many fans who listen to Just a Minute, but he said he had other business. And...

PJ: You mean he had a job.

NP: I think itís more fun with Aimi Macdonald than Clement Freud, anyway!

PJ: Iíve never tried it with Clement Freud!

NP: Anyway, Aimi, you have the subject of snap and you have, ah, 26...

AM: Oh, I didnít want that.

BUZZ

KW: Ah, well you got it, dearie! Yes, she didnít want it. See, sheís been asking for it all night and now youíve got it, right in the mush!

NP: Derek challenged you just then. What for?

DN: Well, she didnít want the subject. And then she stopped! So I was going to help her out.

NP: But now she hadnít started.

AM: What was that? Well, Iíll try, Iíll try.

NP: She gets a point because she hadnít actually started, she gets a point from Kenneth because he was so rude to her, and you have 26 seconds, Aimi, on snap, starting now.

AM: Holiday time, and you rush to the airport and get on an aeroplane, which takes you far away into some nowhere land...

BUZZ

AM: You get off...

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: This is deviation. Weíre nothing to do with snaps.

AM: Iím getting to it, darling.

KW: Yes, we could all get to it with those endless anecdotes!

NP: Shall we ask the audience? Do you think that sheís justified in keeping the subject? If so, cheer for Aimi, if not, boo for Kenneth. All together now.

BOOS AND CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: They think that you hadnít established you were going towards this snap.

AM: Are you sure about that? I'd like to hear it again.

NP: Yes, Iím quite sure. I didnít hear a solitary cheer, as a matter of fact.

AM: I did. There was two up there somewhere!

NP: Kenneth, you have the subject and you have, ah, 17 seconds on snap, starting now.

KW: It is a fact that when somebody of a sublunary talent is faced with a general incom...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: What was that again?

NP: What was it again? You said sublunary.

KW: It is a fact that when someone of a sublunary talent...

BUZZ

PJ: Repetition.

KW: Appalling! Iíve let myself be led! Iíve been led like a lamb by this selfish...

NP: Ah, give them both a point. Kenneth keeps the subject. There are 12 seconds on snap, Kenneth, starting now.

KW: Geniuses like myself when surrounded by incompetence frequently find the nerves snap. And something gives! And they start to scream and shout in frustration! And thatís what I feel like doing right now! I want to...

WHISTLE

NP: Well, I do hope youíve enjoyed the fun and games that we have because we enjoy playing Just a Minute, and alas, we have no more time to continue. I will give you the final score. And the situation was, this week, Aimi Macdonald, returning from previous triumphs, finished in third place equal with Kenneth Williams. They both got a lot of points. They were only two behind Peter Jones. But this week, a long way out in front was once again our winner, Derek Nimmo. We hope youíve enjoyed Just a Minute and want to be with us again next week, the same time when we'll get together and play this absurd, ridiculous and delightful game. Until then, from all of us here, goodbye.

THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just a Minute was Nicholas Parsons. The game was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Lloyd.