JAM:PMerton,DNimmo,CFreud,SToksvig
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD and SANDI TOKSVIG chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 26 January 1991)

NOTE: Sandi Toksvig's only appearance although clips of here are heard on the 1992 compilation show Silver Minutes.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons and as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome the four exciting and talented personalities who this week are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back Derek Nimmo, Clement Freud, Paul Merton and we also welcome for the first time playing the game Sandi Toksvig. Will you please welcome all four of them. Beside me sits the charming Anne Ling with a stopwatch to keep the seconds ticking away and a whistle in the other hand which she blows wgen the 60 seconds are up. And a susual I will ask our four competitors if they can speak on the subject which I will give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Let us begin the show this week with Derek Nimmo. Derek the subject is China. Iím sure it has been chosen specially for a travelling man like you. But will you talk on the subject starting now.

DEREK NIMMO: The Middle Kingdom, the centre of the universe, home to a quarter of the worldís population, over a billion people. The Ching dynasty, the Ming of the same variety, grain for 300 years between them. I was standing in Tiannamen Square only two weeks ago and there I looked at the Temple of the Heavenly Gate before proceeding into the Forbidden City. When you see the Great Wall which is the only manmade edifice which can be seen from the Moon you realise how vast that extraordinary place of China is. The amount that we owe to it! Then of course Dewsbury China I like very much, came from the Derby factory, 1765, he moved out from Chelsea and Bow. And some of the bowls that theyíve got there I think are of exquisite beauty and modelled very often on Johan...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud has challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition of beauty.

NP: Yes there was beauty. There was extreme beauty about...

DN: Yes, I donít mind, Iím all right.

NP: I know but you always look as if youíre trying to bluff me out of it.

DN: I was just looking at you, just looking at you with total contempt!

NP: Isnít it amazing the way Iíve put up with it for 23 years too Derek. No-one believes that weíre friends!

DN: Certainly not me!

NP: Clement you have cleverly got in with two seconds to go with a correct challenge. You get a point for that, and you take over the subject of china starting now.

CF: Bexlam Stote Stone in Staffordshire are good...

WHISTLE

NP: Just to remind anybody who may be hearing the show for the first time whoever is peaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point and it was Clement Freud who is the only one to have scored in that round. Paul Merton will you take the next round. The subject, the thing in the cellar. That is the subject. Will you talk on it in this game starting now.

PAUL MERTON: Nicholas Parsons has a portrait of himself in his own cellar. While this picture is rapidly aging, the young youthful chairman that we see in front of us still in the spring of his adult life, a wonderful absence toyoung people today after 70 years in show....

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Deviation, heís not a wonderful example to young people.

NP: I think thatís a rotten challenge!

DN: You ought to be in a twilight home!

NP: Paul it was an incorrect challenge, you get a point for that, 45 seconds to continue on the thing in the cellar starting now.

PM: Iíve had this thing in the cellar now for seven or eight years. It makes this kind of strange gurgling noise late at night and Iíve asked the council to come round and investigate it and theyíve said frankly, itís nothing to do with us. Youíll have to ask a ghostbuster or some kind of paranormal scientist to investigate this phenomenon deep down in your cellar. So why not I decided to go down and investigate it for muself and what I found was a quivering mass of jelly-like...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Sandi Toksvig you challenged.

SANDI TOKSVIG: I donít know, Iím just guessing. But I think repetition on investigate.

NP: Absolutely right. The council was asked to investigate and then he went down to investigate.

ST: What a lot of investigating! I donít believe him though, I donít think the council went to investigate anything, I think it was just a load of nonsense!

NP: Well, you could have had him for devaition, you see...

ST: I could have had him for a lot of things but I havenít got time!

NP: Sandi you have the subject, the first time to speak on Just A Minute, the best of luck to you. There are 16 seconds left, the subject is the thing in the cellar starting now.

ST: Weíve got a ....

BUZZ

NP: And Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: A rather mean hesitation, Iím afraid.

NP: Yes! Youíre absolutely disgraceful!

DN: Iím just trigger happy, Iím sorry! Itís the long years of...

NP: I disagree entirely Derek. So Sandi you have another point for an incorrect challenge. But do start a bit quicker next time.

ST: Sorry!

NP: There are 14 seconds on the thing in the cellar starting now.

ST: Weíve got a thing in our cellar...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: She started very quickly that time!

ST: Thereís no pleasing some men! You start slowly, you start quickly!

DN: What I want to know...

ST: Itís always the womanís fault! Have you noticed?

NP: Give them both a point and Sandi there are 13 seconds left for the thing in the cellar starting now.

ST: Weíve got a thing in our cellar and itís my grandfather. Heís been going off for some time and I think itís his feet, theyíre gangrenous. He got that by standing in trenches in France. there was no war going on, he just liked to go stand in trenches in France.

BUZZ

NP: Ah Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Trenches.

NP: There were two trenches he stood in, Iím afraid.

ST: I think thatís what it was, yes.

NP: I know. And Clementís got in with one second to go again. The thing in the cellar, Clement, starting now.

CF: Prop...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Mertonís challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, absolutely. And youíve got half a second Paul on the thing in the cellar starting now.

PM: Salt is the main thing....

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of taht round, Paul Merton was speaking as the whistle went, gained the extra point and heís in second place, equal with Sandi Toksvig. And Clement Freud, it is your turn to begin. The subject: impossibilities. That sounds a nice subject. Will you talk on it in this game starting now.

CF: Impossibilities is a plural word which you very seldom find in the singular form of impossibility. But Iím going to talk about it. It means something that you are very unlikely to be able to do. Like mountaineer in Cambridgeshire. Or teach a fish to ride a bicycle. Among impossibilities would be Nicholas Parsons to make a really good joke.

BUZZ

NP: Sandi Toksvigís challenged.

ST: Hesitation.

NP: What?

ST: Hesitation. And also itís not fair to you Nicholas.

NP: Well that was just what I thought you were going to challenge on!

ST: I was really going to challenge on the unfairness to you and also on the great chasm of hesitation that built up there.

NP: No, there was no hesitation but there was definitely a deviation.

ST: Oh right!

NP: Yes thatís right!

ST: It was one of those tions anyway!

NP: Yeah thatís right! So Sandi you have another point and you have the subject. You have 33 seconds on impossibilities starting now.

ST: One of the impossible things to do is to start quickly enough to please most men. What you have to do is get right in there, very very quickly. But you canít really be...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Too quickly!

NP: Very very quickly! Itís a tough game isnít it? Derek you have a correct challenge and 26 seconds on impossibilities starting now.

DN: They do say one of the most impossible things is to stop a subscription to Readers Digest. Now I do agree because somehow or another they bombard you with letters giving you all kinds of wealth and motorcars and porsches if you will only renew the subscription...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Two subscriptions.

NP: There was another subscription and yes it was like Readers Digest you know, more than one subscription.. So Clement youíre back in with the subject you started with. There are 10 seconds left, impossibilities, starting now.

CF: It is a mark of insincerity of purpose to seek an Emperor in a lowdown tea shop is the sort of impossible remark you find in Chinese books that Derek Nimmo...

WHISTLE

NP: Clement Freud was once more speaking when the whistle went and has increased his lead at the end of the round. Sandi Toksvig, itís your turn to begin. The subject is trends. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

ST: There is an unpleasant trend or fashion at the moment for the anthropomorphous of unnatural objects and inanimate items and animals into items of creatures... I have no idea really what Iím saying here!

BUZZ

NP: You actually had the audience agog! They thought...

ST: I did, yes! For one moment there I was quite taken away myself! The trouble is I was listening while I was talking!

NP: Oh, itís fatal isnít it?

ST: Yes.

NP: Derek you challenged. What was your challenge?

DN: Deviation because she stopped really.

NP: Yes, you get a point for that, you have 49 seconds to tell us somethintg about trends starting now.

DN: One of the most fascinating trends of recent years was the acquisition of something that was known as bondage. I met somebody who actually asked me to be strapped with leather things between my legs...

BUZZ

NP: Sandi Toksvig, youíve challenged.

ST: Deviation, Iím sorry, I just canít bear to hear about it, thatís all. Itís all right on radio but heís actually demonstrating next to me. So my challenge is it was a sexual deviation!

DN: May I however, may I however be allowed to point out to the audience, the radio audience at home, that I was actually demonstrating between my own legs!

NP: But as he wasnít actually contravening the rules of Just A Minute, Derek gets a point for being interrupted and he continues with 35 seconds on trends starting now.

DN: This demonstration I received in the Kings Road from somebody called Johnny Rotten. And I also came to New Brighton which is in the Rural peninsula where there was an extraordinary trend for wearing inverted top hats. Now that may sound peculiar to you but actually in those years just after the war, there was an abundance of those afore-mentioned form of hattery because it had just gone out of fashion...

BUZZ

NP: Sandi, er, Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation. Is there such a word as hattery?

NP: Oh, well, you can make up words I imagine, as long as you donít deviate....

PM: Oh, you can make up words now can we? Canít wait till itís my turn!

NP: So you were having deviation of grammar then, or deviation from correct English?

PM: Yes.

NP: Oh, thatís all right. I thought it was repetition of the word hat, because he did repeat the word hat. But yes, itís a deviation from correct English. So hattery doesnít exist in the Oxford English Dictionary which is our bible here. And...

DN: It does!

NP: Whatís that?

DN: It does!

NP: Does it?

DN: Yes.

NP: Oh, well can you produce it next week and...

DN: Yes I will!

NP: ... and Iíll give you a bonus point for the next show that you appear in Derek. In the meantime I give five seconds to Paul Merton to continue, no, to take over trends, starting now.

PM: One of the great trends of the early 1990s has proved to be to mutant ninja hero...

WHISTLE

NP: Paul Merton was speaking then as the whistle went, and gained an extra point for doing so. Heís equal in second place with Sandi Toksvig. Derek, itís your turn to begin. The pyramids. Will you tell us something about them in this game starting now.

DN: By using the definite article, it does suggest thereís only one of the pyramids, but of course thereís , er, numbers of pyramids around the world...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: There was a sort of hesitation.

NP: Yes it was, he was stumbling over his words, we interpret that as hesitation, Clement. So you get in with a sharp challenge after only five seconds. 55 left for the pyramids starting now.

CF: A pyramid is the sincerest form of hattery. Itís a ...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Deviation. Hattery doesnít exist in the Oxford English Dictionary!

NP: So youíve got the point back that you wanted Derek. So 48 seconds for you on the pyramids. Justice has been seen to be done and you start now.

DN: Of course one normally thinks of Lower Egypt. those great pyramids at Sicara and Gizah. And the first one was actually designed by an architect whose name we know in Hottep. Extrairdinary! 5000 years for the Pharaoh Sozza. And it was the number of six actually, diminishing squares placed one on another...

BUZZ

DN: It was called Steptoe...

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

DN: For goodness sake stop fussing around Freud!

CF: The third actually.

NP: What?

CF: The third actually. I let the first two go.

NP: Yes he let the first two go, he was very sporting. You said actually three times.

DN: I always say actually!

NP: I know but you canít say it three times in Just A Minute. Otherwise you lose the subject and the person who challenged gets a point. It was Clement Freud. 25 seconds, the pyramids, Clement, starting now.

CF: Pyramid selling is the sort of thing that goes on a lot now. It means that ever more people have diminishing commission because too many other folk jump on the bandwagon. If you were to sell Readers Digest subscriptions for instance by pyramid, it would mean that not only Derek Nimmo, but also Nicholas Parsons and Paul Merton and probably in the end even I would jump on this device...

WHISTLE

NP: Clement Freud kept going for a long time on pyramids till the whistle went and gained an extra point for doing so and heís now in a strong lead at the end of that round. Paul Merton, your turn to begin. The subject is moose. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

PM: I love mousse, strawberry mousse, raspberry mousse, chocolate mousse. In fact I could eat mousse all day if it wasnít bad for me. I went into a shop once and I said to the stock keeper ďI will buy every single mousse that you have in this store,Ē and I carried away 657 items of mousse. It was wonderful! It kept me going for at least four days! People say to me ďyou eat far too much mousseĒ...

BUZZ

NP: And Sandi Toksvig.

ST: Repetition of eat.

NP: Right! And Sandi was listening well. So she got in with 37 seconds left. Moose is the subject Sandi, starting now.

ST: I tend to put moose in my hair which is very difficult as itís a large Canadian animal. I go to the zoo and I say ďhave you got any mooseĒ and they say ďcertainly madamĒ....

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of say.

NP: I know! What another tough challenge. Itís a difficult game, isnít it Sandi. Derek got in, 28 seconds on moose starting now.

DN: Itís the largest form of elk and it ahs the most magnificent antlers. I used to stay near Rotorua in New Zealand at a house called Moose Lodge which was belonging to somebody called Sir Noel and Lady Cole. He was a distinguished architect and as you went...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Deviation. You canít be called Sir Noel and Lady Cole.

NP: Clement very cleverly got you on a deviation there and 17 seconds Clement on moose starting now.

CF: The odd thing about moose is that they have flattened antlers, not plain ones as deer might have. But also raspberry, strawberry and ru....

BUZZ

NP: And Derek Nimmo, Derek, yes?

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation yes. You have eight seconds to tell us more about moose starting now.

DN: Raspberry mousse I must admit is my absolute favourite. Perhaps with a pinch of ice cream.

WHISTLE

NP: Well Derek Nimmo you were trailing but youíre now catching up on Clement Freud, our leader. Then comes Sandi Toksvig and then Paul Merton in that order. Clement Freud, your turn to begin. The subject: charlatans. Will you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

CF: A charlatan is a sort of mountebank, imposter, fraud, quack. Someone in other words who pretends to be something which he is not. To think in this audience of whom might come under the term of charlatan one would picture the lady in the fourth row with a green dress and the wig. Now the reason she isnít wearing her own hair is quite simply because of charlatanism. A manifestation...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, sheís not wearing... sheís wearing a wig because sheís bald. Itís nothing to do with charlatanism!

NP: Paul gets another point and he has 30 seconds on charlatans starting now.

PM: The woman in the fourth row in a green dress happens to be my mother and I know full well her hair fell out in 1948 after Blackpool had been knocked out of the FA Cup. She was a very keen supporter of this particular seaside town...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Blackpool won the FA Cup in 1948.

PM: No they didnít, they won the cup in 1953.

NP: Mmmm, thatís right.

DN: What do you mean thatís right? Youíve no idea at all. Absolute rubbish! ďThatís rightĒ he says sagely!

PM: Just ask my mother, sheís there!

NP: Thatís right, she was deeply affected by the Blackpool, whether they won or lost.

DN: Can we put it to the lady in the fourth row and ask her is she his mother? That would settle things immediately!

NP: So Paul...

ST: I donít think Paulís got a mother!

NP: So Paul you still keep the subject and there are 17 seconds on charlatans starting now.

PM: There was a man once who posed as the King of Siam, what he did was he phoned up... oh I donít know, I didnít...

BUZZ

PM: .... think I was going to get this again!

NP: Sandi Toksvig.

PM: I wasnít prepared to get it back at all!

NP: Sandi you got in on the hesitation, 10 seconds, charlatans starting now.

ST: If you are...

BUZZ

NP: And Clement Freud challenged.

CF: That was a definite hesitation.

NP: Definitely it was, but she gets another point because itís the first time sheís played the game!

CF: Aha.

ST: What did I do wrong? Something...

NP: You didnít come in quick enough. It was a hesitation.

ST: Golly! I just donít seem to get the hang of it!

NP: There are 10 seconds on charlatans starting now.

ST: If you are a real charlatan then the trick is to speak very slowly but with very little substance...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of very.

NP: Very slowly but with very little substance. Sorry, Sandi, it is a difficult game but four seconds are left for Clement to tell us something about charlatans starting now.

CF: Pretending you know who won the FA Cup in 1948...

WHISTLE

NP: Clement Freud was speaking then as the whistle went and gained the extra point, heís now increased his lead at the end of that round. And itís very interesting, the other three are now all equal in second place, four points behind. Sandi, itís your turn to begin, the subject is learning my lines. Will you tell us something about that starting now.

ST: As an aspiring actress I was taught to learn my lines and not bump into the furniture. I was quite good at the latter, but not very adept at the former. when I received a part in the new Shakespeare Company in Regentís Park, I was told I was also required to understudy several principal roles. These included Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing and Adriana in Comedy of Errors. As I was peculiarly unsuited to both these parts, it seemed to me a very difficult proposition that I should learn all the lines. Consequently I decided not to bother to learn any of them at all. I received six pounds a week for learning these lines which of course I wasnít bothering to do as it was a very hot summer and I was quite busy out swimming. One day they called an understudy rehearsal. this was going to be a problem as I had absolutely nothing to say in this particular perambulation of the plays required. I wish that someone would quite soon...

BUZZ

NP: I didnít want anyone to challenge you Sandi because you only had another five seconds and you would have gone for the whole minute and got the bonus point! But Derek Nimmo came in and what, oh I know...

DN: Coming to a damsel in distress!

NP: Right! There are six seconds for you Derek on learning my lines starting now.

DN: I have begrudged the enormous amount of my time that I have spent over the years learning my lines.

WHISTLE

NP: Derek Nimmo speaking as the whistle went gained the extra point. heís now in second place behind Clement Freud and Sandi Toksvig and Paul Merton equal in third place. Derek, your turn to begin. the subject is glamour. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

DN: Glamour, to be charming, to be extraordinary, to be beautiful...

BUZZ

NP: Sandi Toksvig.

ST: Deviation. What does he know about it?

NP: Sandi....

DN: I was just about to tell you!

NP: ... youíre getting the idea of the game! Itís the fun we have as well as the correct scoring! Derek gets a point for being interrupted and he tells us a little bit more about glamour if he can, in 55 seconds starting now.

DN: In 1959 I had the great good fortune to work in the play by Gepardieu entitled Duel of Angels or in French pour le Quence with Vivien Leigh and Claire Bloom striding the stage together. And I have never seen two more beautiful and indeed glamourous women on the stage at one...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of stage.

NP: Thatís right you were on the stage and again or striding the stage. 37 seconds are left for you Paul to tell us something about glamour starting now.

PM: Can there be a more galmourous figure in the world of show business than Mr Nicholas Parsons?

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Yes!

NP: I donít know why the audience clap because you knew what the challenge was going to be as soon as it was Derek Nimmo didnít you? So Paul you were interrupted with a rotten challenge. You keep the subject with another point, 32 seconds, glamour starting now.

PM: Not many people know that our chairman was once Miss Isle of Wight in 1948. And what a wonderful contest that must have been as these young girls stood next to the young...

BUZZ

NP: Oh, Clement Freudís buzzed. Yes?

CF: Repetition of young.

NP: Young. Too many young people around there. 22 seconds are left Clement on glamour starting now.

CF: I think Derek Nimmo knows a great deal about glamour because sitting here listening to him talking over the years about China and Japan, about the Middle East and the Far North, all things where he has travelled by airlines from different parts of the globe going to amazing...

BUZZ

NP: Sandi Toksvigís challenged.

ST: Deviation. I donít know what heís talking about!

NP: It is really very boring isnít it?

ST: Well Derekís nodded off anyway!

NP: I know!

CF: The glamour of travel!

NP: I think deviation...

CF: It gets people...

NP: Iíve never heard...

CF: ... or not!

NP: ... Clement be so boring! No, for once I thought he was back in the House! There are two seconds left for you Sandi on glamour starting now.

ST: There is very...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Oh shut up! Sandiís got one second on glamour starting now.

ST: Thereís a little glamour to be had for people who...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round, Sandi Toksvig, our first time player of the game, with some help from the chairman was speaking as the whistle went and gained an extra point for doing so. Clement Freud is still in the lead, but then comes Derek Nimmo with Sandi Toksvig in second place and then Paul Merton one point behind them. Itís all very close as Paul takes the next subject which is fiddles. Will you tell us something about fiddles Paul starting now.

PM: The fiddle has come back into vogue as a musical instrument in recent years mainly I think through the efforts of Mr Nigel Kennedy whoís helped, if weíre led to believe the publicity, popularised this instrument and brought it to a wider appreciative audience. His record or recording of the Four Seasons is currently riding very high in the Hit Parade as Nicholas Parsons no doubt thinks of it still and it is a wonderful piece of digital audio technology. The compact disc itself is an amazing...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: A hesitation.

NP: Yes.

DN: A big sort of swallow.

NP: 30 seconds for you Derek on fiddles starting now.

DN: I suppose when you say somebody fiddles something itís kind of an acceptable form of dishonesty. Commercial travellers for instance are always fiddlers of their expense account. And nobody gets too...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton has challenged.

PM: Deviation, surely not all commercial travellers!

NP: Surely , Iím sure theyíre not...

PM: Theyíre a fine body of men!

CF: And not all commercial travellers.

NP: No! But I would agree with that. You could not say that all commercial travellers were! Some may...

CF: We donít persecute minorities on this show!

NP: So Paul I agree with the challenge, you have another point and you have 16 seconds starting now.

PM: One fiddle that I used to do and I readily admit it now is when I lived in a bedsit at the beginning of the last decade, there was an electricity meter in the corner of the room. And I would frequently put 10 pence coins in this particular box before I realised it wasnít connected to the electricity supply at all...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton kept going to the whistle went, gained an extra point. Heís equal with Derek Nimmo, one point behind our leader Clement Freud and one point behind those two is Sandi Toksvig. So itís very close. Clement Freud, itís your turn to begin. The subject is covens. Will you tell us something about covens in this game starting now.

CF: If you ask me to say something apertaining to covens, I would say not a subject on which I would like to speak for 60 seconds. It is a word I think that owes its origin to convent, a coven being a number of witches dancing around
as they might have done in a play by William Shakespeare written in the 16th century whose name I know very well but donít want to tell you because you waste more time bumming around pretending you have forgotten. Many...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: I have no idea what Clementís talking about! Whatís this bit about the play?

NP: Well that is the play that actors donít like to mention because itís considered to be very superstitious. And thereís always a catastrophe occurs in the next show they do...

PM: Macbeth!

NP: Yes thatís the one. What is your next show going to be after this one?

PM: Iím recording another Just A Minute in about five minutes! Iím sure Iíll no doubt lose!

NP: Well, Weíll look forward to that! But your challenge is what? Deviation? You didnít know what he was talking about.

PM: Yes.

NP: No, I disagree with the challenge, so Clement keeps it, 28 seconds on covens starting now.

CF: The word ovens preceded by the letter c is actually covens and Iím awfully pleased with thise cookery devices because you can put great ...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Deviation, heís now talking about cookery devices rather than covens.

NP: He can talk about cookery devices as long as he doesnít deviate from covens... Oh, I agree, cookery devices and covens, no, no, itís...

DN: Well done Nick!

NP: Oh I get all these challenges coming in all directions and I have to interpret them, I have to be fair at the same time even when theyíre with Derek Nimmo and the things he says to me. Derek, I give you judgement on that and you have a point and there are 18 seconds left on covens starting now.

DN: The usual number of witches to a coven was 13 because it was a parody of the Lords Supper and the actual women in the coven had very frequently attached to them an extra nipple on which their familiar or cat used to drink and that is how they actually...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Repetition of used. Used, used.

NP: Yes there were two useds. They used to drink and they were used to doing it. Well, oh Clement, you got in on the last round with one second to go and the subject is covens starting now.

CF: Toil and trouble!

WHISTLE

NP: Well as I said there would be no more time after this round to play Just A Minute so let me tell you what the final score was. Finishing in fourth place was our first time guest Sandi Toksvig but she was only one point behind the man whoís played the game a number of times, Paul Merton, and he was only one point behind the man whoís played the game many many times Derek Nimmo, but just ahead of him was the one with the most points, so this week we say he is our winner, Clement Freud. It only remains for me to say on behalf of all four of them, and of course the person whoís been keeping the score, writing it down and blowing her whistle, Ann Ling, and of course the man who invented the game which means we keep working and that is Ian Messiter, and our director who also helps us to keep working by employing us and that is Edward Taylor and myself Nicholas Parsons, we hope youíve enjoyed it and will want to tune in the next time we take to the air and play Just A Minute. Until then from all of us here, goodbye.