JAM:CFreud,PJones,AMacdonald,PMoore
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring CLEMENT FREUD, PETER JONES, AIMI MACDONALD and PATRICK MOORE, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 2 December 1975)


NOTE: This was transcribed by Vicki Walker. Thank you Vicki! :-)


ANNOUNCER: We present Clement Freud, Peter Jones, Aimi Macdonald and Patrick Moore in Just a Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away, here to tell you about it is our chairman, Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you! Thank you very much indeed. Hello and ah welcome to Just a Minute. And weíre going to begin the show this week with Peter Jones but before we start, let me remind you that they have to try and talk for just a minute on some subject that I will give them without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Peter, the subject is sleepwalking and would you try and go for 60 seconds with that subject starting now.

PETER JONES: Sleepwalking, or somnambulism as it is sometimes called by people who set crossword puzzles and intellectuals generally, is an affliction which happens in the middle of the night, very often when a person is sound asleep. They get up without opening their eyes and they walk about all over the place, not making much sound and generally ah giving an impression of Ė

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Aimi Macdonald has pressed her buzzer.

AIMI MACDONALD: Um, he said uh, which means, you know.

NP: What?

AM: Pause. Hesitation.

PJ: Yes, a very small er, yes.

NP: Hesitation, yes indeed! So Aimi, you have a correct challenge, and uh so you get a point for that. You take over the subject of sleepwalking. There are 33 seconds left and you start now.

AM: Itís something I donít do very often, but I was told once upon a time one morning I got up and I Ė (giggle)

BUZZ

AM: That was wrong because I said one.

NP: Um, Patrick Moore has challenged.

PATRICK MOORE: I say hesitation because she said er a lot.

NP: Yes, yes, I-I will grant you a hesitation. Your deviation, I wouldnít. So uh Patrick, we hear from you for the first time. You have 25 seconds left. The subject is sleepwalking and you start now.

PM: Well, I canít really claim that Iíve ever actually sleptwalked myself, if that is the right way of putting it. Iím really not quite sure because there are so many meanings of this particular term. But er I do remember once many, many years ago when I Ė

BUZZ

PM: -- was staying with my Aunt Elizabeth and I Ė

NP: Um, Clement Freud has challenged you.

CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition of many.

NP: Yes, there were far too many manys.

CF: You can't really say many many.

NP: I know, itís very difficult, isnít it? Oh um, so Clement Freud has got the subject now. Itís sleepwalking. There are 14 seconds, you start now.

CF: I actually sleepwalk so much that my bedroom carpet has a deep ridge in it between the bed and the window, which follows the path that my feet tread night after 12-hour period of darkness.

WHISTLE

NP: Ian Messiter, who blows his whistle so delicately every week, tells us that 60 seconds is up and whoís ever speaking at that moment gains an extra point. It was Clement Freud and heís taken the lead at the end of the first round. Clement, would you begin the second round? And the subject is what appeals to me most. Sixty seconds, starting now.

CF: What appeals to me most, I think, are people who come up and say, "I would like to play backgammon with you for very high stakes and I donít understand the game." I find this is not only appealing but incredibly lucrative. Although in the present company in which I find myself, Aimi Macdonald does appeal to me more than somewhat.

BUZZ

NP: Uh, ah Clem- Patrick has--

PM: Repetition of appeal.

NP: Yes! But you see, Patrick, youíre new to the game. I have to tell you that you can repeat what is on the card.

PM: Oh, Iím so sorry.

NP: So we withdraw that and Clement keeps the subject. He continues on what appeals to me most. There are 37 seconds left, Clement, starting now.

CF: Actually, Patrick Moore withdrawing appeals to me quite a lot. The... verve with which Ė

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Patrick, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, I agree, Peter. You have 31 seconds now on what appeals to me most, starting now.

PJ: Well, itís usually charities, and ah they donít fall on deaf ears, but I must admit that I often think what a pity it is that the government doesnít arrange some better system of rewarding the heroes of our two great wars than by collecting on railway stations in tin cans. It seems to me appalling that this has to happen. Now if these postal charities or the post...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Repetition. Of charity.

NP: Ah yes, yes thatís right Aimi. Five seconds are left...

AM: You see how to do it now, Patrick.

PM: I was too slow on the draw that time.

NP: There are five seconds, Aimi, what appeals to me most, starting now.

AM: Heís about six foot six, has brown hair Ė

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of six.

NP: Itís a pity that particular...

AM: Why didnít I say five foot six? What a dumb-dumb I am!

NP: Yes, itís a pity that fellow had to appeal to you.

PJ: Well, youíd have been lying if youíd said he was five foot six.

NP: But if he were five foot six, he wouldnít have appealed to you. No, no. No, no. No. Um, Peter got in there with only two and a half seconds left. What appeals to me most, starting now.

PJ: Itís a nice, cool drink at the end of Just a Minute.

WHISTLE

NP: Well, at the end of that round, Peter Jones was speaking when the whistle went and heís got that extra point and heís equal with Clement Freud in the lead. Aimi, will you begin the next round, please? The subject is second. Can you say something about that in 60 seconds starting now.

AM: Uh-Iím-um, pardon?

BUZZ

AM: No, I...

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

AM: No, listen, wait a minute...

NP: Youíre perfectly correct.

AM: I wasnít ready for you. I mean Iíd, I thought youíd Ė

NP: Well, Iím sorry, but how long will you be before you are ready for me? You have the subject of second, and there are 60 seconds in which to speak on it and you start now.

AM: There are 60 seconds in one minute and there are five minutes...

BUZZ

AM: Oh!

NP: Um, Patrick Moore challenged.

PM: Ah, repetition of minute.

NP: Thatís right, Patrick. You have 55 seconds to talk on second...

AM: Gosh, heís quite good, really, isnít he?

NP: Yes, youíve got to watch him. Heís, heís got a few, itís not just stars in his eyes over there, itís, um, um, second is the subject, Patrick. Fifty-five of them left starting now.

PM: Now to talk about second is really not very easy because there are so many varieties of it. I mean, you can straight straightaway that it is neither one, ah three, five, six, seven, eight, nine 10, 11 or so on. You can in fact continue indefinitely. But ah there are so many different interpretations of this particular...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: You canít continue indefinitely because the human life span would put a sudden end to it. Isnít that so?

NP: I donít know what youíre talking about.

PJ: Oh. I donít know what heís talking about.

NP: As far as Iím concerned, it, it wasnít a correct challenge, so Patrick has a point for that. He keeps the subject. There are 37 seconds on the subject of second, starting now.

PM: Well, I was of course talking about second, and I now have to continue from where I left off. And this is not entirely easy because when one has been interrupted and thrown off oneís stride, itís not always, ah, quite right to get...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: Yes.

PJ: He said er and quite right.

NP: Yeah, but at the speed he goes, his er is hardly a hesitation. So I think as heís new to the game...

PJ: And as I, as he knows more about the sky at night than I do, he ought to pass it on.

PM: No, I must say I think it was a valid challenge. I did hesitate.

NP: Well, thatís very sporting of you, Patrick.

PM: I think I did, yes, yes.

NP: Peter Jones has got a correct challenge. Heís got the subject of second and there are 26 of them on which to talk on it starting now.

PJ: Well, I wish I knew as much about the sky at night as Patrick Moore does. If I did, I should be able to describe some of the extraordinary things that happen, not in the seconds that we are told to talk about, but in the light years and other long periods of time, the only measurement we have of it, and it would be fascinating, Iím sure. Because these extraordinary phenomena...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Oh, I could tell he was going to hesitate. Iím, when, you know, you definitely were, werenít you?

NP: Aimi, it wasnít a correct challenge. There are four seconds for Peter to continue on second starting now.

PJ: Iíve had some wonderful meals in hospitals and the seconds...

BUZZ

NP: Um, er Clement Freud.

CF: I could tell Ian Messiter was going to blow his whistle.

NP: So what is your challenge?

CF: Premonition.

NP: Premonition! Weíre going to play the game on this basis, I donít know whatís going to happen.

CF: Itís a whole new ball game, as they say.

NP: Itís a whole new one, yes. But it wasnít a correct challenge, so Peter gets another point for that. Two seconds left, Peter, starting now.

PJ: Plums and custard and other nourishing things.

WHISTLE

NP: So weíve uh, now have a situation with Peter Jones, after many efforts, has taken the lead. Itís quite a good lead, and weíre with Patrick Moore to begin. Patrick, the subject is writing an opera. We, we know why Ian Messiterís thought of that one for you but would you talk about it in 60 seconds, starting now.

PM: Well, personally, ah when I set out to write an opera, ah I have two built-in disadvantages. Ah if I try to sing, I have a voice rather like a barn door creaking in the wind. And if I try to give anything in the nature of a stage laugh, it sounds remarkably like a buffalo pulling its foot out of a swamp. Ah I also play the piano, not very well, with lots of wrong notes, those horrible black things, sharps and flats and so on, and uh therefore when I have to start and think about a plot, ah it is not entirely easy for me. I donít myself like anything that has any relation whatsoever to the modern world because itís so incredibly boring. And things like politics and riots and rows in general, I donít like any of them.

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Deviation?

NP: Well, youíre wrong. He did repeat himself, but he didnít deviate.

AM: Oh, did he? Well, can I have that?

NP: No, you canít, no, itís too late!

PM: Saved by the bell!

NP: Patrick, you have a wrong challenge and a point and you have 24 seconds left on writing an opera, starting now.

PM: Therefore, I decided to delve right back into the past and consider ancient mythology, which after all is a fascinating subject, and when you tackle it, who is to say that you are wrong? So I selected the story of Percius and Andrometa, ah two ancient heroes who may be regarded as the equivalent of, shall we say, Romeo and Juliet, although of course they were entirely different in what they actually did, simply and merely because they lived in an entirely, uh, alien kind of life.

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Entirely was repeated.

NP: Yes it was. Oh, poor chap! He gets faster and faster! You go on like that, what do you, what do you get to the end! Does your opera get faster and faster too as it goes on?

PM: Ah, I think it probably does, yes, yes.

NP: Peter, you got in with three seconds Ė

CF: I rather felt if you buzzed, youíd be too late.

NP: Peter, you got in with two and a half seconds to go on writing an opera, starting now.

PJ: Patrickís quite right. First, st Ė

BUZZ

NP: Um, Patrick challenged him.

PM: Deviation. Heís talking about me, not an opera.

CF: No, no, no.

NP: Ah, ah, but you see, Patrick, we do allow people to establish what theyíre going to say.

PM: I was afraid you might. There was only one second left. It was worth a try.

NP: Heís obviously listened to the game because he knows the tricks! No, an incorrect challenge. Thereís only half a second on writing an opera, Peter, starting now.

PJ: First, steal your plot.

WHISTLE

NP: At the end of that round, Peter Jones was again speaking when the whistle went, having got in just before it. So heís increased his lead, and uh Clement Freud and Patrick Moore are equal in second place. Ah Peter Jones, your turn to begin. The subject is a dent in the car. Can you talk about that in Just A Minute starting now.

PJ: Yes, well I had one only two or three weeks ago. I was driving along Listen Grove, slowed up to look at some antiques, really foolishly, on the left-hand side and the lorry in front of me stopped and I ran into it. Very light tap, but unfortunately the bumper on this vehicle ah front was...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Aimi Macdonald challenged.

AM: Oh, that was definite hesitation. He went uh, front.

PJ: Yes, it was.

NP: Aimi, he just...

PJ: I actually ran into the damn thing! It was a full stop, really.

NP: Aimi, you have a correct challenge. You have 42 seconds on which to talk about a dent in the car starting now.

AM: Thank you. A friend of mine in the Hebrides was driving along one day in his brand new car. And he decided to go and visit somebody...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Clement Freud.

AM: Oh, I didnít do anything wrong!

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: You canít have a brand new car in the Hebrides.

NP: You can... You can if you wish to take it there.

CF: By the time it gets there...

NP: Itís a lovely idea, Clement, but on the other hand it is not impossible if you wish to have it flown there. She wasnít technically deviating from the subject, so she keeps it and there are 33 seconds for a dent in the car, starting now.

AM: He decided he would go and visit somebody he knows. So he pulled his car up outside this personís house. While inside, along comes a ram and waddles his way towards the car...

BUZZ

AM: ...on approach...

NP: Clement Ė uh, Patrick.

PM: Iím sorry.

AM: I could, no, I...

PM: An incorrect challenge. It was repetition of car, but itís, itís uh...

AM: Itís in the thing. Yes, darling

NP: Itís in the thing.

PM: Iím sorry.

AM: Donít worry, youíll get it.

PM: What was that?

NP: Is that a promise?

AM: No, no, I mean heíll get the game.

CF: Can we watch?

NP: Ah and Aimi continues for 18 seconds on a dent in the car starting now.

AM: This animal walking alongside the car suddenly looks round and sees itself in the reflection of the door.

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Clement Freud.

CF: You canít see yourself in a reflection.

NP: No. But you actually said in the reflection of the door. So Clement has a correct challenge.

AM: Oh, we are splitting hairs, arenít we?

NP: Well, we, we have to be accurate, you see, Aimi, and...

AM: Well, you know what I meant.

NP: Oh, I know exactly what you meant! And I think I was quite generous to you on the Hebrides challenge before when I... So Clement has 10 seconds on which to talk on a dent in the car starting now.

CF: I recently hired a car because my own was in a garage, and the firm from which I borrowed it for money... gave...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Patrick challenged.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes there was. Patrickís got in with only two seconds to go on a dent in the car starting now.

PM: Personally, my own car never...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round, Peter Jones is still in the lead, but Patrick Moore has moved into second place alone ahead of Aimi Macdonald and Clement Freud, who are equal in third place. Clement, weíre back with you to start. The subject: Ikebana. Would you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

CF: Ikebana is the Japanese art of flower arrangement, which they hold very dear to their hearts, almost as much as they do tea ceremony, something performed by lovely ladies on two knees resulting in nasty green thick fluid. But Ikebana is something all young Japanese girls have to learn. You get an old gladioli, two...

BUZZ

NP: Uh Patrick Moore challenged.

PM: You canít get an old gladioli. He meant old gladiolus.

CF: Two, I said.

NP: No, you did say an old gladioli.

CF: Yes, I did, yes, I did. Well listened.

NP: Yes, yes, a very good challenge. He was listening well. And so there are 34 seconds for our classical scholar Patrick to continue on... not to continue, sorry, to take up the subject of Ikebana starting now.

PM: Well, I cannot really say that I know anything at all about Ikebana...

BUZZ

NP: And Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Better be quiet!

NP: But he can still try and talk on the subject.

PJ: Oh.

NP: Because that is Just a Minute. So a wrong challenge, an incorrect challenge. Thirty seconds left on Ikebana, Patrick, starting now.

PM: But as I was saying, I know nothing whatever myself about Ikebana, but even though...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald challenged.

AM: Well, thatís repetition. Of course.

NP: Yes, that was repetition. Youíve said it before, you see, and if you come back after the buzz and say it again...

PM: Ah, this I didnít know. Understood.

NP: Well, I canít, I canít give that to you, see. Uh, there are 26 seconds on Ikebana with you, Aimi, starting now.

AM: Well, I donít know very much about Ikebana but I do know Ike Bana, who lives down the road from me. Heís an awfully intelligent man, and Iím always bumping into him about things that matter to me, and saying, "Will you help me out with this problem or that?" And heís terribly, terribly helpful.

BUZZ

AM: Oh, terribly terribly.

NP: And ah Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Ah, repetition of terrible.

NP: Yes. He was too helpful, wasnít he?

AM: Yes, too helpful.

NP: Yes. So, Clement, you have 10 seconds on Ikebana, starting now.

CF: The things that you can do with a fuchsia, a rose and a tulip almost defy definition, but Iíll try and explain because we have a lovely audience...

WHISTLE

NP: Aimi Macdonald, itís your turn to begin. The subject: My favorite animal, starting now.

AM: Heís about six foot one, long brown hair, blue eyes and often wears a black coat. On his feet are usually two blue shoes... Maroon...

BUZZ

NP: Uh, Patrick Moore.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, youíre right, Patrick.

AM: But I...

NP: Forty-four seconds are left on my favorite animal starting now.

PM: Well, my favorite animal I suppose is rather different. I think I must go for a cat. Uh, not a very large one. It is rather small, it is tortoise-shelled, it turned up in our garden when I lived over in Ireland, and this is some years ago now. It must I think have been, ah, uh, 1962...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald.

AM: Ah ah.

NP: Ah ah.

AM: Yes.

NP: Yeah.

AM: He definitely did two ahs.

NP: Twenty-nine seconds on my favorite animal, Aimi, starting now.

AM: He loves sailing and has a beautiful yacht. And every Sunday, he likes to go down to Southampton and rush around doing things to this vessel. I donít particularly like sailing.

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Repetition of like.

NP: Yes. I want to know what, what animal this is that can have its own yacht and go down sailing! Clement, there are 14 seconds on my favorite animal starting now.

CF: My favorite animal is a tortoise called Thompson...

BUZZ

NP: Patrick?

PM: A tortoise is a reptile, deviation.

CF: Rubbish!

NP: A tortoise is still an animal because it's a reptile.

PM: It's a nice point, I withdraw my challenge.

NP: No you can't withdraw it, it was a very strong challenge. And er it's incorrect because...

PJ: Is a human being an animal?

NP: Yes a reptile is also an animal...

PJ: I just want to know...

NP: And a tortoise is a reptile, and Clement Freud...

PJ: If I can pick up a bit of information...

NP: ...has a point and there are 10 seconds left on my favourite animal starting now.

CF: Who is incredibly fast, probably faster than any other reptile that I have ever come across.

BUZZ

NP: Um, Aimi...

AM: Oh, sorry. I withdraw that. I thought he, I thought heíd already said reptile.

NP: I know, but if you interrupt his flow...

AM: I know.

NP: ...he gets a point. I know it canít be done.

AM: Sorry about your flow, darling.

NP: Five seconds, my favorite animal, Clement, starting now.

CF: Each Tuesday afternoon I take my favorite animal to a veterinarian.

WHISTLE

NP: Well, Clement Freudís favorite animal has put him into the lead, one ahead of Peter Jones now. Patrick Moore, itís your turn to begin. The subject that Ian Messiterís thought of is Parsons Town. Would you talk for Just A Minute on that starting now.

PM: I will do my best to talk for a minute about Parsons Town, and this really does come into my own particular topic. Because you might imagine that Parsons Town is a place for retired ministers of the church. Well, this may well be so, but in fact it is not the Parsons Town to which we are referring at the present moment, I feel fairly sure. Because Parsons Town, the one Iím uh referring to, is in fact in Ireland.

BUZZ

NP: Um, Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of referring.

PM: Yes, I saw it. Too late.

NP: Yes, yes, Iím afraid it was too late.

PJ: Well, you could have buzzed yourself. You might get in.

NP: There are 41 seconds left, Peter, and you have the subject of Parsons Town starting now.

PJ: It is, of course, a ghost town in northern Queensland between Cook Town and Brisbane. Iíve been there many times, wandering down these old back streets made of wood and...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Clement.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: You canít make a street of wood.

PJ: Wooden blocks, they are. Wooden, you know...

NP: No, you did actually say you were wandering down those streets made of wood.

PJ: Yes.

NP: The houses were made of wood, not the street.

PJ: Oh, and the street itself! Wooden blocks with, uh, tar in between, you know.

NP: Ah, um...

PJ: Yes.

CF: Oh.

NP: Well, as I havenít been to Parsons Town, I, uh, you wriggled out of it admirably, Peter. So Iíll allow it and say you have 29 seconds on Parsons Town starting now.

PJ: And itís a wonderful place for fishing, sailing and not a very long way from the Barrier Reef. Parsons Town in its heyday, when it was frequented by these first people, the frontiersmen who went out to Australia and opened up this great continent. Then they were looking for gold, they were driving cattle to and from Parsons Town practically every year. And the gold and the corn...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of gold.

NP: Yes, the parsons were finding too much gold over there. Clement, you have four seconds on Parsons Town starting now.

CF: There may well be people who think that Hampstead Heath, the residence of Nicholas Parsons...

WHISTLE

NP: So Peter, weíre back with you to begin and the subject is giving advice. Will you talk on that in Just A Minute starting now.

PJ: Well, thatís something that I contrive not to do if I can possibly avoid it, though I do try and sell it from time to time. I had a canvasser come to the house the other day representing a market research organization and they asked me if I could give them some advice on a particular product that they were trying to display an interest in. And I said my fee for consultation is 10 guineas. And that was the quickest way of getting rid of such a person that I could think of. And Iím going to remember it and Iím going to repeat it if I have another opportunity to do so.

BUZZ

NP: And you did repeat it. Aimi, itís your challenge.

AM: Yes, well, you know, he said Iím going.

NP: Yes, thatís right. You repeated Iím going to.

AM: You kept saying Iím going.

PJ: Oh, really?

NP: Yes.

AM: Yes.

PJ: Did I? Oh.

NP: And you have 25 seconds, Aimi, on giving...

AM: Oh, honestly, Peter.

NP: Will you give us some of your wonderful advice now in 25 seconds which remain starting now?

AM: If you have something wrong with you, then the best person from whom to seek advice from is a doctor. On the other hand, if you...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Peter.

PJ: It isnít a question. Itís a matter of opinion, really. And if one is in financial difficulties...

AM: I was getting...

PJ: ...my doctor would be the last person to go to. He went bankrupt three times.

NP: Well, I, I, agree with your challenge, it's a good one, but on the other hand I do think that Aimi was meaning if you've got something wrong...

AM: It's not a good one, it's a terrible one, I had, I had just already said if you've got something wrong with you

NP: No, no, Aimi, look, I'm on your side, here because again, you accused me of splitting hairs before, well I'm going to not allow the splitting of this hair, be, give the benefit of the doubt to you, I think you were meaning if youíve got something wrong with you physically. You didnít establish that. And so youíve...

PJ: Aimi obviously has nothing wrong with her physically!

NP: And uh there are 16 seconds, Aimi, on giving advice starting now.

AM: If, for instance, you fall over and break your arm, obviously not everybody here or anywhere else, for instance, knows...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Clement Freud.

CF: Repetition of for instance.

AM: No, I didnít.

CF: In the previous installment.

NP: The previous installment? I donít remember her saying for instance.

AM: Oh, heís making that up. Did I say that?

CF: The fact that you donít remember...

NP: The audience are telling me that she did, so there we are. Thank you very much. Would you like to come take over? Eh, Clement, you have a correct challenge. Seven seconds on giving advice, starting now.

CF: "Mamma," said Amanda, "I want to know what our relatives mean...

BUZZ

NP: And Aimi Macdonald has challenged.

AM: Repetition.

NP: What of?

AM: Ma Ma.

CF: Oh.

NP: Give Aimi a bonus point for a clever challenge and leave the subject, because he wasnít, strictly speaking, deviating from... er, repeating, ah, five seconds, Clement, on giving advice, starting now.

CF: And she often bestows good advice upon those who give her no thanks in return. Sheís done...

WHISTLE

NP: Clement, weíre back with you to start. The subject is getting a duck. Would you tell us something about that in 60 seconds starting now?

CF: Thereís not really a great deal you can say about getting a duck. It concerns cricket and a man with a bat who fails to score. And heís out because heís either stumped, caught, bowled or perpetrates some other evil like not reaching the wicket at the other end before the ball hits it. So...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimi Macdonald...

CF: I think thatís a very good place to stop.

AM: You like leading that, donít you?

PJ: I think it had reached its peak, certainly.

NP: Well, the audience seemed agog, I must say, yes! So Aimi, your challenge.

AM: Oh, ah, oh, Iíve forgotten. What was it?

BUZZ

AM: Oh, ball! Ball. He said ball twice.

NP: So there are 37 seconds, Aimi, on getting a duck starting now.

AM: Now this is something that I donít know very much about, Iím afraid. However, I shall endeavor to tell you all about it.

BUZZ

NP: Peterís challenged.

PJ: Repetition of about.

NP: Yes. You have 30 seconds on getting a duck, starting now.

PJ: You can get quite a good duck in Regents Park. You put sleeping pills into the breadcrumbs and wait until dusk.

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Aimiís challenged.

AM: I challenge on the grounds of cruelty to animals.

PJ: Well, animals a bird! I mean itís a bird, isnít it?

NP: It is a bird.

PJ: That isnít an animal!

NP: But the thing is, I donít think he was being particularly cruel. He was only putting it to sleep at the time, anyway. Itís not a legitimate challenge within the rules of Just a Minute. So, ah, Peter continues, having gotten another point, with 21 seconds on getting a duck starting now.

PJ: Or you can get one at the Chinese shop somewhere in Soho. Theyíre smoked and look absolutely delicious! Iím not entirely sure what they taste like. But they have the appearance of being kind of, ah Ö

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Patrick Moore.

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, there was, Patrick. You have nine seconds to talk on getting a duck, starting now.

PM: Personally, when I play cricket, as I do twice a week all through the summer...

BUZZ

NP: Ah, Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Repetition of playing cricket.

NP: Twice a week.

PJ: Yes.

NP: Yes.

PM: I donít think you can do that!

NP: Yes, but you see, the point is, Patrick, itís a wrong challenge because youíve got to repeat a word or a phrase.

PM: Ah yes, that sort of thing.

NP: So it was, it was a clever challenge but incorrect because you didnít repeat any words, and there are five seconds on getting a duck starting now.

PM: I have made plenty of ducks over the years in which I have played this delectable game and...

WHISTLE

NP: So Iíve just had a message we have no more time to play Just a Minute, so let me give you the final score. Patrick Moore was then speaking when the whistle went. He got an extra point and heís just moved one ahead of Aimi Macdonald. Aimi, returning from previous triumphs, got a lot of points, 11, as a matter of fact, finished one point behind Patrick Moore with 12, and two ahead of that was Peter Jones and 14. But only one ahead was this weekís winner in a very close contest, but he is our winner, Clement Freud. We hope that you have enjoyed Just a Minute, and will want to tune in again at the same time next week when once again we take to the air and we play Just a Minute. Until then, from all of us here, goodbye!

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just a Minute was Nicholas Parsons. The programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Lloyd.