JAM:PMerton,DNimmo,PJones,RMurdoch
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, DEREK NIMMO, PETER JONES and RICHARD MURDOCH, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 30 May 1989)

NOTE: Ian Messiter's last appearance blowing the whistle.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to introduce to you the four exciting and dynamic personalities who this week are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back Paul Merton and Richard Murdoch and we welcome back, who have been playing the game for quite a long while, Peter Jones and Derek Nimmo. Will you please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Ian Messiter the creator of the game, who not only blows his whistle when 60 seconds are up, but also keeps the score for us. And what Iím going to do is ask our four panellists if they can speak as usual on the subject that I will give them, and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Weíll begin the show this week with Peter Jones and who better? And Peter the subject is poker. Will you tell us about that in Just A Minute starting now.

PETER JONES: Poker is a card game. Iím not terribly good at games as I demonstrate every week when Just A Minute is on...

BUZZ

NP: Richard Murdoch has challenged.

RICHARD MURDOCH: Oh there was a very definite hesitation there.

NP: There was. He was demonstrating that heís not very good at games!

PJ: Right!

NP: And he hesitated so you get a point for a correct challenge for hesitation and there are 52 seconds left starting now.

RM: Well thereís...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PAUL MERTON: Hesitation.

NP: Yes I agree Paul, yes he didnít even get started.

RM: Well you didnít give me a chance to start!

NP: I always, I know you havenít played it very often but I always say starting now...

RM: Yes...

NP: And you actually do have to get cracking right away because we only have 60 seconds...

RM: Otherwise it becomes boring!

NP: Thatís right, yes. So Paul Merton you have a point for a correct challenge and you have 51 seconds on poker starting now.

PM: A...

BUZZ

NP: And Richard Murdoch challenged.

RM: Well he didnít start! That was hesitation!

NP: We donít play as keenly as that Richard! Iím sorry.

RM: No? Well Iím just being keen, thatís all!

NP: Yeah youíre terribly keen, right.

RM: Yes.

NP: Iím sorry I canít give you... give him a bonus point because we enjoyed his challenge.

RM: Oh.

NP: But Paul also gets a challenge, a point for an incorrect challenge and he has now 50 and a half seconds on poker starting now.

PM: A poker is a piece of metal strip which you use to poke the fire with. Um there are...

BUZZ

NP: And Derek Nimmo challenged.

DEREK NIMMO: Well if we are allowing er ums this week, there was an er um.

NP: Yes he did say er um, and which is hesitation. And you have got within, my gracious, within 16 seconds weíve heard from all four members of the panel! Forty-four seconds with you Derek on poker starting now.

DN: The most exciting poker game that I ever took part in was in Glittergulch in Las Vegas in the state of Nevada in the United States of America. It was at Benny Binnionís famous Golden Horseshoe Club. And all the big players were there, because thatís where they have the International Championships.Wingie Gruber, Jimmy the Greek, Pugsy Parsons, sitting down to play some poker before this totally entranced audience with $100,000 minimum chips on the table for each of the people playing poker that day. I must say my nerves are at my fingertips, because...

BUZZ

NP: Richardís er challenged.

RM: Well itís deviation, heís supposed to be talking about poker and heís talking about his nerves.

NP: I think to be quite fair and I always try to be fair, that he was talking about this game of poker, and it made his nerves... I thought you were going to have him for deviation because your nerves couldnít always be at your fingertips but um, but no, he was expressing the state of mind that he was in and body...

RM: Was he?

NP: Derek you have one second left on poker starting now.

DN: Poking the fire when I was a wolf cub...

WHISTLE

NP: What you could have done is have him for deviation because I donít believe Pugsy Parsons was in that game! Itís the most...

DN: He was a very poor player! Quite right!

NP: Richard Murdoch would you take the next round, the subject is musical instruments. Will you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

RM: There are many kinds of musical instruments. They are either blown, sucked, twanged, hit, or, or...

BUZZ

RM: Whatís the other thing? I canít remember!

NP: I know, itís difficult! Just make something up if you canít remember it because otherwise it becomes hesitation. So Peter Jones got in first and we know the challenge Peter, hesitation, 52 seconds...

PJ: Hesitation, yes.

NP: ...on musical instruments starting now.

PJ: Well Iíve er erm...

BUZZ

NP: And Derek got in first. Derek letís have it...

DN: Well hesitation.

NP: Yes. Another hesitation, 50 seconds are left for you now Derek on musical instruments starting now.

DN: Musical instruments, well, that is an interesting subject. Yesterday I was appearing with the military band of the Coldstream Guards. They had tubas and trumpets, drums, large and small. Sometimes one could hear...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: Well it, yes I think Iíll give you the benefit of the doubt. It was just, just about hesitation...

DN: I was breathing!

PJ: Well I know!

NP: You breathed a bit too long so Iím giving him the benefit of the doubt and 34 seconds are left...

RM: Heís been breathing much too long! I donít mean that at all!

NP: Well the audience endorsed it anyway! So Peter you have 34 seconds on musical instruments starting now.

PJ: I had a very few lessons on the mandolin because my father went to an auction and bought one of that type of instrument at er, at this sale. And er he...

BUZZ

NP: Richard Murdoch challenged.

RM: Well a little bit more hesitation there.

RM: Yes there was a little bit more hesitation there Richard. You have another point and you have 24 seconds to tell us something more about musical instruments starting now.

RM: The other type of thing you can do with an instrument is to scrape it such as a violin or a double bass or a cello. These are known as stringed instruments. And of course you do get other types of instruments in the theatre and I am referring to the operating theatre. These are known...

BUZZ

RM: Yes?

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of theatre.

NP: Yes.

RM: Yes.

NP: The operating theatre and the other theatre. So Paul youíve got in with six seconds and weíre going to hear from you on musical instruments starting now.

PM: Drums, piano, guitar, cello, double bass, harpsichord...

WHISTLE

NP: And you kept your recitation going until the whistle went to gain that extra point and you are now in the lead Paul alongside Derek Nimmo. And Peter Jones and Richard Murdoch are both together in second place only one point behind. Paul would you take the next round, the subject is my pet. Will you tell us something about a pet that you have, or just my pet starting now.

PM: My pet is a cat called Zooby. This cat is a peculiarly stupid cat...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Two cats.

NP: There were two cats, yes, and youíve only got one Iím sure so thatís repetition...

PM: If the cat was a schizophrenic, would that help me in any way?

RM: He could be a Siamese cat like in twins.

NP: Yes but in Just A Minute if you repeat the word that is repetition. And so it is a correct challenge from the other party which was Derek Nimmo, 56 seconds Derek on my pet starting now.

DN: My pet is a beautiful red retriever dog that Iíve had since it was six months old. Had it trained by somebody in the part in Northamptonshire known as Oney. It is a great chum to me and of course a wonderful pet. But more than that, it is a personal friend with an ability...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: I think you should extend your social life! If this, if this red retriever is a personal friend! I once, I used to correspond with a tortoise but I donít...

NP: So youíre having him for deviation?

PM: Deviation, yeah!

NP: Because of his, er, oh yes, um, I think what weíll do is give you a bonus point because we did enjoy the challenge Paul. But ah I think within the bounds and the rules of Just A Minute Derek wasnít actually being too devious. So he keeps going with 33 seconds on my pet starting now.

DN: His name is Rufus, named after the King of that particular appendage. And when I take him with me for a run in the park...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: The dog was named after a Kingís appendage?

NP: Yes I know!

PJ: Was it? I didnít...

NP: Oh...

PM: Is that the reason you became friends?

NP: Oh dear! Now I have to judge on that and decide whether...

PJ: Well...

NP: ... itís deviation or not.

PJ: Definitely deviation on somebodyís part!

RM: He was trying it on the dog!

NP: What happens Peter is youíre going to get a bonus point for your challenge, I can tell you that right away! Um if you can name it, if his red hair which is why he was called Rufus by the way, that was William the Second, is called an appendage or not, then of course maybe Derek wasnít actually being devious.

DN: I meant his name.

NP: I think what Iím going to do in this situation is put this to the superior wisdom and judgement...

DN: Oh I donít want it!

NP: ...of our charming audience...

DN: Iím fed up with this bloody dog! It doesnít exist anyway! I hate dogs!

PM: So much for friendship! Youíre appearing on Radio Four, this dogís at home waiting for you, a personal friend, probably whipped up a custard or something.

NP: Yes thatís right! Now youíve thrown the whole thing out of the window and given it over to Peter Jones. Right, all right Peter, 23 seconds on my pet starting now.

PJ: My pet was a blue rabbit called Jimmy...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: I would suggest that you werenít heating it properly! Probably keep it indoors and itíll...

PJ: Blue chinchilla rabbit, thatís what it was.

NP: Right well keep it, save it Peter because Paul gets another point because we liked the challenge, Peter keeps the subject and a point for an incorrect challenge and he goes on about his blue chinchilla rabbit with um, 20 seconds left starting now.

PJ: But after a couple of years I must say I had to admit it was rather boring. It didnít sort of give anything much. A rabbit is pretty, you know...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Well hesitation and repetition of rabbit.

NP: Um which one do you want?

DN: Well both really. Sometimes you give two points, you know, you gave him...

NP: I will say no, yes I agree with you Derek but only one point Iím afraid but 11 seconds on my pet starting now.

DN: My wife calls me my pet. Iím...

BUZZ

NP: Paul, I know your challenge, but come on Paul, yes.

PM: No I was going to say repetition of my, but of course thatís, thatís included in the subject.

NP: Oh I thought you were going to say if his gold... if his, if his golden retriever was his pet, how could his, be the pet to his wife as well.

PM: No I wasnít going to say that! Um, mainly because I donít understand what you just said!

NP: Iíll be honest...

DN: There was no logic in it!

PM: Then youíre probably still upset about Sale of the Century being cancelled!

NP: Yes!

PJ: Did your wife have you trained by this man in Northampton?

PM: And did you ever turn blue?

NP: I donít know who has the subject but I think itís actually still Derek Nimmo. And six seconds on my pet starting now.

DN: Come here, my pet, she says to me, go out and look for the doggy! I go to the lane and go to the whistle...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of go.

NP: Yes you were going too much Derek. So Paul got in with three seconds to go on the subject still my pet starting now.

PM: She used to be a kitten, that was of course many months ago...

WHISTLE

NP: Well everybody scored points in that round except the chairman. Richard Murdoch is in fourth place but only just behind Peter Jones, heís two points behind Derek Nimmo but one point ahead of him is our present leader Paul Merton who got a number of points including one for speaking as the whistle went. And Derek Nimmo begins the next round and the subject is earrings. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

DN: Actually Iíve never possessed any earrings, principally because Iím rather too frightened to have a hole pierced within my lobes. I know...

BUZZ

NP: Richard Murdoch challenged.

RM: Did you say earwigs? Because Iím...

NP: You obviously havenít...

RM: ...surprised at Derek getting them up his nose!

NP: You obviously havenít quite woken up yet Richard, no, no, I said earrings.

RM: Oh yes! Well I must, I must get an Ďearring aid! Iím sorry!

NP: But Derek has an incorrect challenge and therefore 50 seconds to continue with earrings starting now.

DN: Wherever one sees a photograph of ah a pirate party...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Of er um ah er.

NP: Yes that was a hesitation. Definitely Peter, 48 seconds for you on earrings starting now.

PJ: When youíre thinking of the head as a whole, I think you probably...

BUZZ

NP: I know the challenge but letís hear it Paul yes.

PM: Iíve never ever thought of the head as a hole!

NP: I donít...

PJ: But when he does!

RM: Iíve thought of a hole in the head!

PJ: When he does!

NP: No I donít think a head can be a hole Peter, I donít think...

PJ: As a whole, w-h-o-l-e.

NP: As a whole!

PJ: Yes!

NP: When you think of the head as a whole, you said, yes.

PJ: A whole!

NP: Right I will give it to you, you were trying to... for those people abroad who are not so conversant with the English language there is a word hole, h-o-l-e which is a thing that...

PM: I think theyíre in trouble if we have to explain every word to them!

NP: It does, on this occasion, it might prevent a few letters coming in. And thereís another word, w-h-o-l-e...

PM: Before listening to this programme take an English course lasting several months!

NP: I might tell you that I do happen to know from letters Iíve received that in China where the show is now listened to, they do listen to it in order to practice their English. We give Paul a bonus point, we loved the challenge and, but we leave the subject with Peter Jones, um, and 44 seconds left on earrings starting now.

PJ: If youíre going to wear a ring, then the ear is the best place for it. You can put it in your nose...

BUZZ

NP: Richard Murdoch has challenged.

RM: Itís certainly not the best place for a ring! The best place for a ring is on the finger!

PJ: Well thatís a matetr of opinion!

RM: Or the telephone!

NP: Yes!

RM: But not in the ear!

NP: Well no itís a matter of opinion and if Peter thinks it is the best place heís entitled to that opinion. So Peter Jones still has the subject because I donít think he was actually deviating within the rules of Just A Minute and he has 39 seconds on earrings starting now.

PJ: Iíve seen them hanging from peopleís nostrils. And Iíve never seen...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: You wouldnít have seen an earring hanging from somebodyís nostril! Because then it would be a nose ring!

NP: Well...

PJ: I was talking about rings!

NP: He might have had an earring in his nostril, you never know! I mean people can do funny things with earrings. And also he did say before about rings, heíd established it was rings he was talking about, because...

DN: Isnít the subject on the card earrings? It might have been just... it was such a long time ago!

NP: But he didnít challenge for that!

PJ: Earrings are rings worn in the ear, whether youíre in China or any other bloody place!

PM: No look, letís not bring China into this, I mean...

NP: I donít know, weíve had a lot of fun by bringing China into it! Um...

PM: Itís deviation...

NP: No it wasnít deviation, he had the ring in his nose and it could have been any kind of ring. And he wasnít deviating within the rules of Just A Minute. So 35 seconds still with you Peter Jones on earrings starting now.

PJ: I really havenít got a great deal to say...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Once again I find myself leaping to the rescue! Er...

NP: So what is your challenge?

PM: Ah um an...

BUZZ

PJ: Hesitation!

NP: Peter Jones youíve just challenged yourself, you have a correct challenge, another point to you and it was correct because it was hesitation. Paul Merton now has the subject of earrings, 33 seconds left starting now.

PM: It is fashionable now for men to wear earrings, as well as women. Er I know...

BUZZ

PM: Ah!

NP: Derek Nimmo you challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: There was a hesitation, he erred there and 27 seconds for you on earrings Derek starting now.

DN: Actually the most beautiful pair of earrings that Iíve ever seen worn on a man was worn by old Pigsy Parsons...

BUZZ

NP: Richard Murdoch challenged.

RM: He had a couple of worns.

NP: There were two worns, yes, that is repetition.

RM: Two worns.

NP: Twenty-two seconds for you Richard on earrings starting now.

RM: I have never worn earrings because they donít really become a man. They more become a lady and...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of become.

RM: Yes.

NP: Yes you were too becoming there Richard Iím sorry. And Paulís got in with earrings again, 17 seconds starting now.

PM: If somebody was to fire a pistol near your ear, then your ear would defi...

BUZZ

NP: Why have you challenged Richard?

RM: Well there were two ears there.

NP: Yes but ear is on the card, earrings, and earrings is...

PM: Itís hyphenated, isnít it!

RM: No, no...

NP: Itís hyphenated, yes.

DN: So if you havenít got the rings, then itís...

RM: Yeah...

DN: ...a valid challenge, youíre quite right!

NP: I will turn to Ian Messiter because as itís hyphenated I would have thought that he could use the word ear again.

IAN MESSITER: No, not like that!

NP: He cannot? Heís got to say earrings?

IM: Yes.

NP: The word ear is repetition? How nice to hear from you in Just A Minute, Ian! I think thatís only the second time in 22 years Iíve actually asked you to adjudicate, isnít it!

IM: I didnít know I could talk!

NP: You cannot use the word ear and therefore that was repetition. Richard Murdoch has a correct challenge and he has 12 seconds on earrings starting now.

RM: Earrings are very beautiful things. You buy them in jewellers. Iíve seen some in Bond Street and they are very very...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton, yes.

RM: Two verys!

PM: Repetition of very.

RM: Yes!

NP: Repetition of very, yes, he was over emphasising there which you canít do in Just A Minute. Five seconds left on earrings Paul starting now.

PM: Earrings can be made of different kinds of material. They can be made...

BUZZ

NP: And there Richard Murdoch got in.

RM: Not quite sure why I did that!

NP: Because he repeated they can be.

RM: Yes, that was it, yes!

NP: You actually heard him, youíre sitting beside him...

RM: Yes yes I heard him! I knew there was something bad! I knew it! I couldnít put my finger on it for the moment!

NP: So you have one second to tell us something about earrings Richard starting now.

RM: The last time I was on Bond Street...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Iím not quite sure why Iíve challenged! Perhaps you could come up with some reason?

NP: Iíd like to give you two bonus points for that one Paul because we did like the challenge. But you did interrupt because it wasnít a correct challenge. Richard Murdoch gets another point and he has half a second on earrings starting now.

RM: I was talking...

WHISTLE

RM: Oh!

NP: This is probably going to be one of the highest scoring games of Just A Minute ever recorded. And Peter your turn to begin, the subject is my swimsuit. Will you tell us something about that... why they should laugh at the idea of you in your swimsuit Peter. My swimsuit with you Peter starting now.

PJ: Swimsuit is a quaint old fashioned word. It came just after...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Richard Murdoch challenged.

RM: Oh I thought it was two words, swim and suit.

NP: Well what, even if you thought it was two words, what is your challenge?

RM: Well he said it was a word.

NP: Oh I see! Thank you very much Richard, yes! Youíre trying extremely hard but...

RM: Itís hyphenated is it?

NP: No it isnít, itís all one word.

RM: Oh is it?

NP: There we are. Swimsuit is all one word nowadays, it used to be hyphenated years ago but now the Oxford English Dictionary gives it as one word.

RM: But if itís a bikini it must be two words!

NP: Yes well, a bikini is one word but itís two pieces.

RM: Yes. Iíll take your word for it!

PM: I donít know what theyíre going to make of this in China! Set Ďem back as a world power I should think! If theyíre learning English from this!

NP: Peter an incorrect challenge so you still have my swimsuit...sorry... You donít have my swimsuit, you have the subject of my swimsuit, 57 seconds, starting now.

PJ: When I was a small boy away at school, we used to run down to the swimming pool and dive in in our birthday suits. And I always liked that best, it was so invigorating when it was cold and dark in the early morning. And these little boys with their little cashew nuts...

BUZZ

NP: (can barely talk for laughing) Oh dear! I donít know what you said Peter, but it sounded quite filthy!

DN: I was...

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged. Whatís your challenge?

DN: Repetition of little, and also... in the interests of public decency!

NP: But seeing, seeing how cold it was, Iím not surprised it was little! Um, Derek you are right... Oh dear! We havenít laughed so much on Just A Minute for a long time! Itís difficult to get going again actually! Derek it was a correct challenge on a repetition of little, 42 seconds on my swimsuit starting now.

DN: Nicholas Parsonsí swimsuit is not a pretty thing to behold....

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: The subject is my swimsuit.

DN: So what did you say the subject was, Nicholas?

NP: I said my swimsuit.

DN: So itís your swimsuit!

NP: Iím afraid heís perfectly correct um there, because you can say it. If I was to say the subject is my swimsuit, then it would have been a correct challenge Paul. Incorrect challenge, another point to Derek Nimmo, 37 seconds are left on the subject of my swimsuit starting now.

DN: He worked in the Docklands in the Clyde. And that was when he first wore a swimsuit. Before that he used to swim in the bath and frightfully chilly it was in that baths at Cargill too, I can tell you! More than your blue chinchillas there I can tell you! And Nicholas Parsons now has a succession...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton has challenged.

PM: Repetition of Nicholas Parsons.

NP: Yes. And some people cannot have a repetition of Nicholas... I thought Iíd get the joke in before anybody else did! And Paul Merton has another point and he has the subject of my swimsuit, 22 seconds are left starting now.

PM: My swimsuit is made of pure new wool, which is a little bit inconvenient when I go down to the swimming baths because it shrinks very quickly. When it falls down to the bottom of my ankles, I get out of the water and go back...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Well if itís falling to the bottom of his ankles, I donít think itís shrinking. Itís expanding! And a woolen... my, my mother used to knit me a woollen swimsuit and they always used to get very very droopy and fall right... I donít believe that it would shrink in the water. So itís deviation.

NP: Itís a terribly interesting challenge actually. Because if it shrunk it would grip tighter rather than drop off. So Derek well listened and there are two seconds for you on the subject, my swimsuit...

DN: My swimsuit is absolutely...

WHISTLE

NP: So everybodyís scoring a lot of points in this particular game and itís very close. Derek Nimmo and Peter Jones who have played the game many times are equal in second place, just ahead of Richard Murdoch but out in the lead, three points ahead of the other two is still our guest Paul Merton. And Richard, your turn to begin, the subject is digs. A subject that you can take many ways, will you talk on it starting now.

RM: The digs that I am most conversant with are those theatrical ones. Iíve stayed in practically every house in Ackers Street, Manchester. And one day the landlady said to me, "Look at Mr Nice, Mr George Robie...

BUZZ

RM: ... put in this book...

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of mice actually.

RM: Yes.

NP: Yes.

RM: Mice I said did I?

NP: I have to be fair, he did press his buzzer, he did challenge. But Iíd have let you go on Richard because I enjoyed it. But he has a correct challenge and there are 46 seconds Derek to tell us something about digs starting now.

DN: And those old fashioned digs always used to have notices within them saying such things as thereís a chamberpot beneath the bed, if you use it during the night, donít put it back underneath again because it will rust...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Under the bed.

NP: Yes.

PJ: Itís been mentioned before.

DN: I said beneath I think.

PJ: Oh beneath, did you? Oh well! Sorry! I feel such a fool!

NP: Beneath and underneath.

PJ: Yes!

NP: So there are 32 seconds for Derek to continue on digs starting now.

DN: It will rust the springs! And those are the things one remembers greatly from oneís earlier days in the theatrical profession. I remember my mother carrying to me...

BUZZ

DN: Iíve said remember twice!

NP: Paul Merton has challenged.

PM: Youíve said remember before so thatís repetition.

DN: Thatís right, I was hoping youíd find that one.

NP: Yes yes thatís right.

DN: I gave that as a little sort of, you know, a gift!

NP: Oh you magnanimous...

DN: Yes I thought it was.

NP: Condescending fellow! The um, er, Paul Merton had a correct challenge for repetition of remember, 19 seconds on digs with you Paul starting now.

PM: I remember staying in digs in 1936 when I was part of a double act called Merton and Balloon.

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Well deviation, he obviously wasnít alive in 1936!

NP: We donít know! I would believe...

PM: The mind can play tricks with you! I said I can remember being in those digs.

NP: I donít think you were part of a double act in 1936! But that wasnít actually Derekís challenge. Merton and Balloon!

PM: We didnít get much work!

NP: Derek I think, I think Iíve got to be fair and say yes that was a correct challenge. So Derek you take over the subject of digs and there are 11 seconds left starting now.

DN: The first dig that I took place on was near the island of Cyprus near...

BUZZ

NP: And Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Er deviation.

NP: Why?

PJ: The first digs I took place on, he said, didnít he?

NP: Thatís deviation of grammar, English...

DN: No, no, no, no, no, Iím talking about digs in the archaeological sense.

PJ: I took place on!

NP: They took place on, is, is, weíve got to remember these people in China who are listening, you know. In no way is that good English.

DN: I was trying to get a bit of speed up, I was sort of flagging...

NP: I know. Well all right Derek, Iíll take the subject away from you, weíll get the thing going again and er Peter Jones has a correct challenge and eight seconds left on digs starting now.

PJ: I remember this label hanging on the chain in the lavatory. And it said pull slowly and hold down. And I never knew for how long you were supposed to hold it down...

WHISTLE

NP: So Peter Jones brought that end, that round to an end with a flourish, gained the point for speaking as the whistle went. Heís also brought the show to an end because we have no more time to play Just A Minute. It only remains for me to give you the final score. Richard Murdoch who did extraordinarily well and gave us tremendous value as always came in fourth place, a few points behind Peter Jones who gave his usual tremendous value. He was one point behind Derek Nimmo, but one point ahead of them was this weekís winner, Paul Merton! We do hope that you have enjoyed listening to this edition of Just A Minute, itís obvious that weíve all thoroughly enjoyed playing it. It only remains for me to say on behalf of the four competitors in the game which is Paul Merton and Richard Murdoch and Derek Nimmo and Peter Jones. And the creator of the game Ian Messiter who sits beside me and has spoken for the first time in a very long time. And the man who produces the show, Edward Taylor, and myself Nicholas Parsons, thank you for listening and we hope youíll join us again the next time we play Just A Minute. Until then from all of us here goodbye.

THEME MUSIC