JAM:PMerton,CFreud,PJones,THawks
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, CLEMENT FREUD, PETER JONES and TONY HAWKS, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 15 February 1992)

NOTE: Tony Hawks's first appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute.

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once again it is my pleasure to introduce to you the four talented players who are going to play Just A Minute this week. We welcome back Paul Merton, Clement Freud and Peter Jones. And we welcome somebody who has never played the game before, Tony Hawks. Would you please welcome all four of them! Anne Ling is here to keep the score and blow the whistle when 60 seconds are up. And in front of me are the subjects which I will ask our four players to speak on if they can without hesitation, repetition or deviating from that subject. And we begin the show this week with Paul Merton. Paul the subject is my silliest habit. Will you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

PAUL MERTON: My silliest habit is agreeing to appear on Just A Minute. Because every year I forget how difficult this particular game is. And yet every 12 months I do consent to appear on that particular programme. I find that some of the rules are now very... oh...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PM: I lost the will in the middle there.

PETER JONES: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, definite hesitation. So Peter a correct challenge, you get a point for that, and you take over the subject of my silliest habit, 44 seconds are left, starting now.

PJ: Iím very reluctant to reveal what my silliest habit is. Because Iím only giving people a stick to beat me with! And I donít... and that isnít the habit incidentally! I wouldnít like my wife to listen to the radio and er find out what it is. Because at the moment, Iíve managed to keep it a secret. And Iím going to keep it the same way...

BUZZ

NP: And Tony Hawks has challenged.

TONY HAWKS: Did he do repetition of keep?

NP: He did do repetition of keep, Tony. And so you got in with your first challenge, your first point, and 21 seconds are left for you to tell us something about my silliest habit starting now.

TH: Well I have a very silly habit indeed, perhaps the silliest habit in my road, because I enjoy very much poking people with sticks. Quite similar to Peter Jonesí habit in some ways I suppose. But I like to irritate them by doing this. If they turn up at my front door I take my little sharp and wooden projectile and prod away at them until they become very angry indeed. Sometimes they start to...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. And on this occasion it was Tony Hawks. And Peter your turn to begin, the subject, Malta. Will you tell us something about that place in this game starting now.

PJ: The island in the Mediterranean. I remember it very well. It was the first place I went to after the War that was abroad. And I remember so well the two girls by the duty free...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition of remember.

PJ: Ah yes. I did say that.

NP: You remembered too much Peter. Yes.

PJ: Pity youíre never going to hear this story! Oh well I may get back in I suppose.

NP: Youíll get back in.


PJ: Yes.

NP: Itís a good story, is it?

PJ: Well itís quite funny.

NP: Weíll see if we can have it afterwards. Clement you have 49 seconds to tell us something about Malta starting now.

CF: It is an island in the Mediterranean as Peter Jones...

BUZZ

NP: Peter...

PJ: I just said that! Itís terribly boring to repeat what the previous speaker has said!

NP: I know but...

PJ: Good heavens! Why would he do that!

NP: Nothing in the rules says you canít do that Peter.

PJ: No, itís just a...

NP: Well you made your point, Peter...

PJ: Right!

NP: Itís been taken on board but it still doesnít apply.

PJ: No.

NP: Clement you have 45 seconds to tell us more about Malta starting now.

CF: It is a large...(starts to laugh)

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton...

CF: It is a large city in the Atlantic Ocean!

NP: But Paul Merton challenged you before you got there.

CF: Aha.

NP: Paul what was it it?

PM: Hesitation Iím afraid.

NP: Yes. He was trying to remember exactly what Peter said so he could say it! Forty-two seconds for Malta with you Paul starting now.

PM: Malta is an island in the Mediterranean! It is the first place I visited after the end of the Second World War. I remember particularly two...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks has challenged.

TH: Ah I think I know how old Paul is, and he wasnít quite old enough to take part in the Second World War.

NP: No that was deviation.


TH: Deviation.

NP: Deviation yes.

TH: Telling fibs, yes.

PM: I said after the Second World War, I didnít say what period after the Second World War. It might have been in 1965!

NP: I know but Iíd like to hear from Tony Hawks on Malta as well.

PM: Oh Iím sure.

NP: So Tony I agree with your challenge.

TH: Yes.

NP: You have 33 seconds to tell us something about Malta starting now.

TH: Well my...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, he didnít start by saying Malta is an island in the Mediterranean!

NP: I agree with you Paul so you have another point and 32 seconds on Malta starting now.

PM: Their names were Sally and Mary, and they were very pleased to see me when I got off the boat. They came running up to me and they said "you are the first Englishman that has arrived at our island since Wednesday and we according to local tradition must shower you with love and presents." So they gave me a Black and Decker power drill and took my trousers down! I was so pleased and enamoured that this local er custom...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PM: Oh no!

PJ: Well yes he repeated, hesitated, did everything really.

NP: And you got a point for that Peter and the subject, there are four seconds left. Would you like more than four seconds in order to complete your story?

PJ: No, it doesnít matter, itís not important really.

NP: Well if itís funny we wouldnít mind hearing it.

PJ: Well I donít know.

NP: Well weíll see how it goes and weíll blow the whistle when it stops being funny! There are four seconds starting now.

PJ: And I asked the Customs officer who was standing near me, hoping that I was going to take out the cannabis and the pornographic photographs that I never travel without! And I said "who are those two over there?" And he said "oh theyíre very attractive arenít they!" And I said "they certainly are". He said "we call them the two Mal-teasers!"

WHISTLE

NP: Right! So Peter and his Mal-teasers brought that round to an end and as he was speaking as he said Mal-teasers, he gets a bonus point. And oh, heís in second place behind Paul Merton at the end of that round. And Tony Hawks your turn to begin, the subject greens. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

TH: I cannot tell you how frustrated as a child I was when I was having my dinner, when every time that I was allowed to eat my food along would come Mrs Andrews the dinner lady and say "Tony would you please finish your greens". Well, I wouldnít complete my meal because they were disgusting in flavour. And I had a special little trick which I used to do. I used to eat the baked potato and then put the greens un...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of used.

NP: Yes you did say used two or three times actually. Thatís the trouble, you have to find another way of saying...

TH: Okay, Iíll get him back, you wait!

NP: Yes! Thirty-seven seconds with you Paul Merton on greens starting now.

PM: I was never particularly find of greens at school. I sink, I think because they were quite badly prepared. You boil them for a long time and they lose all kinds of flavour. I dam very fond of...

BUZZ

PM: Oh!

NP: Tony Hawks has challenged.

TH: I donít know what I dam means! So hesitation.

PM: I said I dam but I didnít hesitate!

NP: So he has to keep going with 26 seconds on greens starting now.

PM: My favourite favourite spinach is, well, itís a green really, not my favourite, oh dear...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks, yes, your challenge?

TH: Well that was repetition.

NP: Twenty-one seconds for you Tony on greens starting now.

TH: Spinach is a very good green to eat because it can make you very strong indeed...

BUZZ

NP: And Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of very.

NP: Clement youíve got in with 17 seconds on greens starting now.

CF: My favourite greens are on the Mediterranean island of Malta. There is a golf course of unexcelled beauty and if you drive from the third tee and hit the fairway, you have every opportunity of landing on the green with your second shot. I...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud gained that extra point for speaking as the whistle went and Paul itís your turn to begin, the subject, rain. Can you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

PM: Iíve never really understood the phenomena of rain. I know obviously it comes...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Itís phenomenon.

NP: Youíre right! Thatís a tough... mean challenge but itís correct, so, and itís very early too. Fifty-five seconds for you to tell us something about rain Clement, starting now.

CF: W Somerset Maugham, I seem to recall, wrote a story about rain. Sultry, tempress, red hair, Kuala Lumpur, Indonesia, sex, disgusting! I enjoyed it greatly when I was a small...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, this is just a collection of words weíre getting, no formed sentence there at all.

NP: It was set in India anyway, Kuala Lumpur, all that...

CF: India!

NP: Kuala Lumpurís in Malaya!

CF: And thatís India, is it!

NP: No! The novel Rain was set in India.

CF: Are you challenging me? Because the challenge was that I was using words!

NP: That you were using words that were not applicable to rain and on that basis I agree.

PM: Yes, thatís exactly what I was saying!

NP: Thirty-nine seconds Paul on rain starting now.

PM: The reign of Edward the eighth never really got off the ground, because he married Miss Wallis Simpson, well in fact...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: She was Mrs Wallis Simpson.

NP: She was Mrs, yes. She was Clement so you have...

PM: She was a phenomena!

CF: She was a phenomenon!

NP: Thirty-three seconds for you on reign Clement starting now.

CF: In Spain stays mainly in the plain. And there is an island in the Mediterranean where it hardly ever rains at all, unlike Berkshire, Buckingham and Shropshire where it buckets down. It is called when you ski the piste...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged, yeah?

PM: A full stop really, wasnít it.

NP: Yes.

PM: New paragraph! Hesitation!

NP: Yes!

PJ: is my buzzer working?

NP: You want to try it?

PJ: Well I pressed earlier.

BUZZ

PJ: Oh yes.

NP: Yes it works beautifully Peter.

PJ: Because I pressed it then, you know. I thought perhaps it was faulty, you know. Itís not the first time that this arrangement has been tampered with! Some people will stoop to anything! I saw Clement in here about half an hour ago...

NP: So he came to a full stop and who challenged? It was Paul Merton, wasnít it. Thirteen seconds on rain Paul starting now.

PM: There is a Beatles song called Rain that John Lennon recorded with that particular group. Itís quite a unique tune in...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: You canít be quite unique!

NP: No Iím afraid youíre unique or... yes, that is deviation from grammar. So Clement, youíre picking him up on all these things! Youíre being really mean, arenít you today Clement! Right, six seconds on rain starting now.

CF: Rain go away, come again another day...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition, the rainís come again another day!

NP: Thatís a repetitious thought, but he wasnít repeating the words. We give him a bonus point because it was a very clever challenge but...

CF: Oh brilliant!

NP: ...Clement gets a point for a correct challenge and has two seconds Clement, on rain staarting now.

CF: It is a phenomenon which is also...

WHISTLE

NP: Well the audience enjoyed that round on rain anyway. Clement itís your turn to begin, the subject is First Baron George Jeffries and you have 60 seconds as usual starting now.

CF: The First Baron George Jeffries was born in the 17th century and achieved fame and notoriety for his lack of judicial knowledge and his brutality. After the Monmouth rebellion he was asked, ordered in fact by the Crown, to hang people almost regardless of what they did. And I think the year would have been 19... er...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Um deviation, the year couldnít have begun with a 19 if heíd lived in the 17th century.

NP: No, quite right, he was trying to find a way around it, he failed. And Paul youíve got in with 33 seconds on First Baron George Jeffries starting now.

PM: Whenever I think of the First... Baron... George...


BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged.

TH: Iím buzzing because heís actually saying that very slowly because he knows nothing about the First Baron George Jeffries!

NP: Youíre probably completely right! But he didnít actually hesitate and there are 29 seconds on the First Baron George Jeffries starting now.

PM: First... Baron... George... Jeffries was a pub round the...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: He said that already!

NP: Thatís the subject...

PJ: Very slowly!

NP: Yes he said that, thatís the subject on the card. You can repeat the subject on the card. I know youíve only been playing the game 25 years Peter...

PJ: Yes.

NP: ... but sometimes things do slip your memory, I realise.

PJ: Thank God itís merciful in that way!

NP: And you still continue Paul with another point, 24 seconds, First Baron George Jeffries starting now.

PM: The first Baron George Jeffries...

BUZZ

NP: And Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Heís speaking much more quickly now!

PM: Itís hormones!

NP: As I, no, give Clement a bonus, because he, I gave it to Paul when he was interrupted. Another point for interrupting Paul Merton to him, Paul gets another point and he continues on that subject....

BUZZ

TH: Hang on! I donít get any points and I thought of this idea first!

NP: A point to Tony Hawks...

TH: Thank you!

NP: ... as he hasnít played the game and he thought of it, and a point for Peter because of that lovely remark he made in the last round. So theyíve all got points now and er, Paul Merton continues with 22 seconds on First Baron George Jeffries starting now.

PM: He was of course known as the Hanging Judge and itís a kind of indication of the brutality of the age he lived that he is still remembered by people even today. It must have been an extraordinary experience to find yourself facing First Baron George Jeffries in the dock. And youíd look up at those cold blue eyes and realise that even...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Hazel actually!

NP: And you were there at the time to have been...

PJ: No, but he happens to have been Baron of Wem and thatís the town in Shropshire where I was actually born and brought up in. So I do know what Iím talking about!

NP: Well according to my mother, he was one of her ancestors and she said that he had brown eyes.

PJ: Brown! Hazel! Schmazel!

NP: All right, let the audience judge...

PM: What can they judge? What colour Judge Jeffriesí eyes?

NP: That is the whole point...

PM: How could they possibly know?

NP: That is the whole point...

PM: Itís your responsibility as a chairman!

PJ: Anyway I donít think...

NP: Iím opting out of the responsibility! Because I donít know what the colour his eyes were!

TH: Well Paul did say cold blue eyes, so hazel eyes when theyíre cold do go a little bit blue apparently.

NP: Oh why do you want to make that!

PM: Specially if youíre wearing contact lenses!

NP: Judge Jeffries always wore contact lenses!

PM: Well youíve just decided heís got hazel eyes!

NP: No thatís the whole point, I didnít decide, the audience decided!

PJ: No, your mother decided! Sheís going to be very upset, isnít she?

NP: Sheís probably up in heaven with Judge Jeffries, or down in hell trying to find out where he is.

PJ: Oh I didnít realise that! What bad taste, I had no idea! You shouldnít have brought her into it at all! I havenít brought my mother into it! Sheís passed away also.

PM: To be honest, I wish Iíd never mentioned his eyes now!

PJ: Quite! You were just trying to eke it out a bit! Make it dramatic!

NP: Well I think weíll get back to playing Just A Minute.

PJ: Right!

NP: Peter you have half a second...

PM: Half a second! Oh yes!

NP: Half a second with hazel eyes of Judge Jeffries starting now.

PJ: Bloody Judge Jeffries!

WHISTLE

NP: You kept going for half a second until the whistle went, you gained that extra point and youíre still in third place, and Paul Mertonís in the lead. And Peter Jones it is your turn to begin, the subject is short notice. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

PJ: Well the shortest notice I remember seeing was in digs in Bradford, it may have been Halifax. But it was hanging on the chain in the bathroom and it said "pull slowly and hold down". And I never quite understood why it did that. I didnít ever dare to pull it with a jerk...

BUZZ

NP: And Tony Hawks has challenged.

TH: Repetition of pull it.

PJ: Yes. Quite right.

NP: Thatís right, you pulled it too often.

PJ: Yes.

NP: Tony that was a correct challenge and you have 41 seconds to tell us something about short notice starting now.

TH: Well I have just been asked by the very charming host of this programme...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged, I know what...

PM: deviation, heís not charming at all!

NP: Take a point away from Paul Merton! No, not really, no, no, I wouldnít ever do that. Tony I will not allow that challenge so you have another point and 36 seconds on short notice starting now.

TH: My, you are being deeply deeply kind to me...

BUZZ

NP: And Paul Merton challenged. You got carried away, didnít you! You canít do that in Just A Minute! Thirty-three seconds, short notice, starting now.

CF: About 10 minutes is the shortest notice recorded by a man who got a job in the kitchen department of a department store...

BUZZ

NP: Um Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of department.

NP: There were two departments there Clement, so 24 seconds are left for Paul Merton to tell us about short notice starting now.

PM: "Two pints please milkman" is the shortest notice Iíve ever seen, which is something...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: "One pint" would be shorter!

PM: I was talking from personal experience. Iíve only ever said two points, you see.

NP: Right, okay well one point to Peter, for we liked his challenge, a point to Paul because he was interrupted and he continues on 19 seconds Paul, short notice, starting now.

PM: I think it was the American drama critic Robert Benchley who wrote the criticism of a play, I am A Camera, and his notice was "me no Leica", which at the time was considered the height of 1930s sophisticated wit. He of course was a member of the Algonquin club which...

WHISTLE

NP: Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point and has increased his lead. And Tony Hawks, itís your turn to begin, the subject is crosswords. Will you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

TH: Iím one of these people who finds it very difficult indeed to do a crossword. I get very frustrated by them, particularly the cryptic clues. Things like "jousting man reaps reward for tomorrowís centipede". And then Iím horrified to buy the paper the next day to find the answer to that is in fact...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Was there a repetition of find?

NP: Yes but we want to know what the answer was! Yes you were quite right, Paul, it was a repetition. And there are 43 seconds for you on crosswords starting now.

PM: I believe the first crossword was invented round about the turn of the century. Like Tony I donít particularly enjoy doing them. I sometimes have a go at the easy clues, but when it comes to the cryptic ones, I find them absolutely impossible...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged.

TH: Repetition of everything Iíve just said?

PJ: Itís not really stylish!

NP: But it doesnít contravene the rules of Just A Minute.

TH: Okay.

NP: So Paulís got another point for an incorrect challenge and 30 seconds on crosswords starting now.

PM: I remember one crossword clue, "island in the Mediterranean..."

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged, yes Tony, your challenge?

TH: Repetition of clue.

NP: Thatís right, he wasnít clued up enough to continue. Thereís 27 seconds on crosswords with you Tony starting now.

TH: I once annoyed a very good friend of mine, Andy Smart, by stealing his newspaper and filling it in, the crossword...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: No sorry, crossword is the subject.

NP: Crosswords is the subject.

PM: Thatís right.

NP: He can repeat it. But of course if you interrupt somebody...

BUZZ

NP: And Clement Freud challenged.

CF: He did repeat newspaper.

NP: But itís too late now Clement.

CF: Only because my buzzer doesnít work!

NP: Your buzzer works magnificently. Your light comes on sometimes a little late, but Iím able to judge when you buzzed first and... you canít bluff your way in...

PM: How can you judge when somebodyís buzzed if his light comes on a little late? How do you do that? Some phenomenon?

NP: Iím really just being very loyal to the very excellent BBC engineers. They do a wonderful job...

PJ: Itís marvellous I think.

NP: Yes?

PJ: I think itís incredible that we can get people on the Moon, and yet we canít get this damn buzzer to work two weeks running!

NP: Anyway Tony Hawks you had a correct challenge and er... I don;t know who challenged actually. Was it...

TH: Paul challenged me when I was in beautiful flow because I repeated the word crossword and he didnít realise....

NP: Ah thatís right!

TH: You see?

NP: Letís get back to...

PM: Itís called short term memory Nicholas!

NP: Tony you have 19 seconds on crosswords starting now.

TH: I wrote the word "bottom" on every clue in his crossword. He was furious...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of clue.

NP: Yes you said clue before.

TH: Quite some time earlier though!

NP: I know! Right at the beginning but I have to remember right back. I do a quick recall in the brain. So...

TH: You didnít do so well a minute ago, did you!

NP: I have to slip up occasionally for the sake of the fun of the show. I have to show...

TH: Your fallibility isnít in question!

NP: So 15 seconds are left for you Paul on crosswords starting now.

PM: I remember once...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of remember.

NP: Yes youíve remembered too much. Clement, 13 seconds to tell us something about crosswords starting now.

CF: Among the crosser words I know are damn, bum, hell, bother...

BUZZ

NP: And a pause. Peter Jones?

PJ: I thought I better interrupt in case he went too far! It is a family programme, you know!

NP: And it was also hesitation.

PJ: Yeah it was.

NP: So five seconds for you Peter on crosswords starting now.

PJ: I know John Gielgud always does crosswords at the first reading of plays that he is in...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged.

TH: Was there some hesitation there?

NP: There was some hesitation. Tony you cleverly got in, half a second to go, crosswords, starting now.

TH: Ohhhhhhhhh...

WHISTLE

NP: So a lot of points were scored in that round, but the situation is still that Paul Merton is in the lead ahead of Clement Freud and then comes Tony Hawks and Peter. And Paul it is your turn to begin, the subject is fair. You can take that any way you like, you know in Just A Minute and you start now.

PM: First baron George Jeffries had very fair hair. He was known as the Blondie Judge. Defendants would come in and say "come on then, show us your worst, Old White Haired Devil". And he would! He would brush his locks back over his shoulder and condemn people to certain death. He used to catch their eyes with a little glint and just a little hint of Marilyn Monroe perhaps, even though that this was some 200 years before she was born. There was something in his manner that suggested...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Three hundred years before she was born.

NP: 1600 yes, 35 seconds are left for you Clement to tell us something about fair starting now.

CF: Fares are usually collected by conductors on buses who go around saying "any more fares please?" And it is an extraordinary thing that in this country, we use three thank-yous in the transaction of purchasing...

BUZZ

NP: Um, Tony Hawks challenged.

TH: Repetition of thank-yous.

NP: Three thank-yous.

TH: Yes.

NP: Yes, he, it is a repetitious thought, a repetitious remark but he was not repeating any word. So well tried Tony, but Iím afraid it was an incorrect challenge. Clement, another point, and 19 seconds, fare, starting now.

CF: One of the most entertaining things in the counties of England are the fairs which are held, usually in the summer but quite often in the autumn as well. It is a phenomenon which people from other countries enjoy greatly. And come to Britain for virtually no other reason than to buy gooseberry jam, sherry trifle...

WHISTLE

NP: The idea of people coming to Britain just to buy gooseberry jam at a fair! Really it makes the mind boggle! But Clement, you kept going until the whistle went, gained an extra point, and youíre still in second place. And itís your turn to begin, the subject is what pleases me. Can you tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

CF: What pleases me greatly is the county fairs which are held in this country, to which so many people from overseas come in order, I believe, to purchase jams and preserves, trifles, chutneys and pickles. Eggs quite particularly when pickled, often in vinegar...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged.

TH: I think it was an incorrect challenge because I went for pickles but he said pickles and pickled.

NP: No he said pickles and pickled. Yes Clement you have another point and 40 seconds on what pleases me starting now.

CF: Among the things that have most pleased me today was the news when we came into this theatre that Nicholas Parsonsí contract as chairman of Just A Minute has been renewed for 40 years! I think that is absolutely sensational and it pleases me, and Iím sure also pleases...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Ah no sorry, Iím mistaken, I challenged on pleases...

NP: Oh yes! Itís on the card!

PM: I know.

NP: Yes, yes. Look at the audience, theyíve gone all quiet!

PJ: They have! Theyíre absolutely overawed!

NP: Theyíre quite an emotional...

PJ: Theyíre absolutely in awe of this contract youíve got! I canít wait for the show to finish so that I can ring my agent!

PM: I think thereís a general air of astonishment really!

NP: Clement it was an incorrect challenge so itís on the card, 23 seconds on what pleases me starting now.

CF: What also pleases me quite a lot is to be challenged when there should be no challenge there. Like when Mr Merton presses his buzzer and I get an extra point. This pleases me not hugely, but moderately. I think thatís all Iíd like to say at this point.

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones got in.

PJ: Well he obviously had come to the end and he was pausing, hesitation.

NP: Right. Peter you have five seconds, what pleases me, starting now.

PJ: What pleases me is to know that Iím going to be on Just A Minute all the time until...

WHISTLE

NP: This was to be the last round so let me give you the final score. Peter Jones finished in fourth place, a little way behind Tony Hawks whoíd not played the game before, did extremely well. Then came Clement Freud and the one with the most points this week was the one we call our winner and that is Paul Merton! Thank you very much indeed. It only remains for me to say on behalf of the creator of the game Ian Messiter, Anne Ling who has been keeping the score, our producer Sarah Smith, and of course our four talented panelists, Paul Merton, Clement Freud, Peter Jones and Tony Hawks, and myself, Nicholas Parsons, thank you for tuning in, we hope you enjoyed the show and will want to tune in again, same time next week, when we take to the air and we play Just A Minute. Until then from all of us here, goodbye.

THEME MUSIC