JAM:PMerton,CFreud,SFrost,LTarbuck
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, CLEMENT FREUD, STEVE FROST and LIZA TARBUCK, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 23 July 2001)


NOTE: This show was transcribed by Charles Berman. Thank you! :-) Liza Tarbuck's first appearance, Paul Merton's 100th appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just a Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello. My name is Nicholas Parsons and as the Minute Waltz fades away, once more it is my pleasure not only to welcome our many listeners throughout the world but also to welcome to the show this week four exciting and stimulating personalities who are going to play Just a Minute. We welcome back with great pleasure a man who plays the game with tremendous verve and panache, that's Paul Merton, someone who plays it with great skill and discipline, that is Clement Freud, and someone who plays it with great fun and exuberance, that is Steve Frost, and someone who's never played the game before, the delightful and talented Liza Tarbuck. And, as usual, I'm going to ask them to speak on a subject that I give them, and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition, or deviating from the subject. Beside me sits Janet Staplehurst, who is going to help me run the stopwatch and blow a whistle when the sixty seconds are up. And this particular of Just a Minute is coming from the Radio Theatre in the heart of Broadcasting House. And we have a fine cosmopolitan and metropolitan audience in front of us, ready to cheer us on our way as we begin the show this week with Paul Merton. Paul, oh, a wonderful subject for starters. Rhubarb. Tell us something about rhubarb in this game, starting now.

PAUL MERTON: I don't think you should have rhubarb for starters. It's more of an afters in my view. It's one of those words that, apparently, extras in the back of films are encouraged to mouth over and again because it gives the impression that conversation is going on. So they say "rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb". It's also a vocal exercise that some performers use before they give a performance. Rhubaaaarrrrr-bah, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb. I think you're getting the idea of it.

NP: Mm-hmm.

PM: And it's a quite clever way of repeating yourself over and again, which I've repeated÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Clement Freud, you challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition of over.

NP: You have a correct challenge, so you take over the subject, get a point, of course, for a correct challenge, and there are twenty-two seconds left. The subject is rhubarb and you start now.

CF: Rhubarb comes from Siberia, which not many people know. In Mongolia, which is not very far from÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Steve Frost, you've challenged.

STEVE FROST: Er, repetition of not.

NP: Repetition of not?

SF: Not many people know and er...

NP: Yeah well you're quite right. A bit of a tough challenge but I mean...

SF: Are we here to play the game or what?

NP: Yeah I know, you're right, you're right...

SF: If I wanted to just sit round and talk and get laughs, I could be in the pub!

NP: Oh that's right. Righto Steve, I was just provoking you there and I got a good response. Right Steve, er, good challenge. Well, not a good challenge, but a challenge which is correct. So you have a point for that, and you have fourteen seconds on rhubarb, starting now.

SF: If you put two sticks of rhubarb under your bed at night, if you've got any warts, they'll go away...

BUZZ

NP: Er, Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of if.

NP: Steve maybe you see now what you started! Er, there are eight seconds for you to tell us something about rhubarb, Paul, having got another point, of course, starting now.

PM: Rhubarb crumble is my favourite desert, and let me take you through the various stages of its preparation. First, you must÷

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Paul Merton, who, at the end of that round has also got the lead, as you can imagine. He's got three points, Steve's got one, Clement's got one, Liza hasn't got one yet but it's her turn to begin, and Liza, welcome to the show.

LIZA TARBUCK: Thank you.

NP: And, oh, a very apt subject for you. It's 'sex appeal.

LT: You are kind.

NP: Yes, specially chosen for you. So will you tell us something about sex appeal in just a minute, starting now?

LT: Sex appeal is the power of attracting the opposite sex. It could be anything. Personally, my thoughts are it's a lot to do with smell, and I'm talking about pheromones there. But there is the thought that, in fact, it could all boil down to plain old looks. I, er, wonder what everyone here would think about sex appeal. I'm not entirely sure what their choices would be. Would they go for a leggy blonde, perhaps? Maybe they'd like something÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Steve Frost, you challenged.

SF: Yes, I would.

NP: And have you got a challenge within the rules of Just a Minute?

SF: No, she just got me going there.

NP: Well, Liza, they've let you off lightly...

LT: That's kind.

NP: So you've got a point for an incorrect challenge. You keep the subject. You have thirty-two seconds. Sex appeal, starting now.

LT: Other people, of course, might go for something a little more full-bodied and plumper, which, frankly, I applaud. And thank the Lord for those good, er, burghers of the country. Er, for with...

BUZZ

NP: Er, Paul Merton challenged.

PM: There was a bit of a hesitation there.

NP: There was. There was a definite 'er' there.

LT: I'm embarrassed at that.

NP: And Paul, you got in with a correct challenge. Twenty-one seconds. Tell us something about sex appeal, starting now.

PM: One of the first film stars in early Hollywood was this÷ was÷ oh...

BUZZ

NP: Steve, you challenged.

SF: Hesitation.

NP: Yes. Right, Steve. You have the subject, now. Seventeen seconds. Sex appeal, starting now.

SF: I had a sex appeal once. I stood outside my bedroom with a bucket. I made at least £17.50. It was a very good night. Not the sex, of course, but the money that I did actually get in the÷ plastic÷

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation, yes. Another point for you Clement. Six seconds. Let's hear from you on sex appeal, starting now.

CF: You put in the personal column of the Times an appeal saying, "I need sex." And you give a box number...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud, speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point. And he's now equal in the lead with Paul Merton, followed by the other two. And Steve Frost, your turn to begin. I don't know whether they've chosen this because you are an erudite individual. It's the life and works of Charles Dickens.

ST: Good night!

NP: I don't know whether it's your favourite subject, but try and speak on it in this game, starting now.

SF: This may come as a bit of a shock to peopleóBOO! But I actually haven't read one of his books, but I've seen all the films on TV and at the cinema. And, frankly, I'm not impressed. People with stupid names like Peckishnifignocky. He must have been on drugs to write names like that, but, of course, he did live in Broadstead, which is in Kent, and there's a house there called Bleak House, which is the name of one of his novels, which I had to study for my A-levels. And I failed, because I never read it, as I said earlier on at the beginning of this very boring tirade I'm doing for you now. Dickens, of course, was a woman, and we all know that in his lesbian relationship with his wife, whose name I can't remember at the moment, didn't go very far because she left and went to America, where he followed and made a fortune on the lecture circuit doing talks about their sex life, and made a lot of money from the appeal which he did, the same as being with that aforementioned plastic vessel, which he put outside the room where you sleep with the person of your sex. Yes, of course, it wasn't the other side of the÷

BUZZ

NP: Well, for someone who didn't want the subject you went magnificently for 56 seconds! Yeah, but Liza Tarbuck got in first. Liza, what is your challenge?

LT: I did it on hesitation. I think that's fair enough, isn't it?

NP: Yes, it was hesitation. Definitely, yes. So you have four minutes, Liza.

LT: Four minutes!

NP: I do that sometimes to make sure you and the audience are awake and÷ Four seconds. Tell us something about the life and works of Charles Dickens, starting now.

LT: I remember reading÷

BUZZ

NP: And, er, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: He's winding you up. No, Liza, you have another point! And you still have the subject. There are three seconds on the life and works of Charles Dickens, starting now.

LT: I once tried to fumble my way through Hard÷

WHISTLE

LT: Ah!

NP: So Liza was speaking then as the whistle went and with the other point in that last round she has leapt forward. And she's now actually in the lead ahead of Clement Freud and Paul Merton. Clement, your turn to begin. The subject is sweet revenge. Tell us something about that subject in this game, starting now.

CF: Sweet revenge is something the pastry chef does when customers are or have behaved extremely badly. And normally he would take, say, a gooseberry fool and put arsenic into it. Cherry trifle with ptomaine is another popular revenge, but of all the sweets that I don't like to be revenged upon, rice pudding with H2SO4, which is sulfuric acid, is probably the sweetest of all revenges. Makes people extremely sick, and causes them to complain to the environmental health officer on the grounds that they÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Paul Merton challenged.

PM: If you put sulfuric acid in the rice pudding, wouldn't that make a hole in the plate? And then the table! And then the floor!

NP: I don't think that you would be alive to complain to the health authorities after...

PM: I don't think you would, no!

NP: No but I think...

CF: Can we get to that? In good time?

PM: Well we have...

NP: So what is your challenge within the rules of Just a Minute?

PM: It's deviation. I don't think you can put sulfuric acid into rice pudding and get away with it.

NP: Well of course, you couldn't get away with any of that, but I mean you didn't challenge for that. And anyway... it's a devious thought...

PM: Well I think, I, you could put arsenic in trifle and I think you could get away with that but sulfuric acid in rice pudding, I think, is, is revenge too far.

NP: You, well, that's a clever challenge but you've given me this difficult decision, because strictly speaking, within the rules of Just a Minute, he was not deviating because he was talking about something quite bizarre...

PM: Aha!

NP: ...and probably quite impossible to achieve, but it still, it is accurate, verbally, within the rules of Just a Minute.

PM: Okay.

NP: So I have to disagree with you...

PM: Fine.

NP: ... and say, Clement, you have another point. You have 19 seconds on sweet revenge, starting now.

CF: Revenge is sweet is a sort of silly saying that you get, for instance, should you come home and find your wife in bed with the milkman. You go out and kick the horse. That would be the sort of typically stupid, idiotic÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Paul challenged.

PM: When did milkmen last have horses? This is the 21st century! It's the year 2001!

CF: That is an agist...

NP: Yes, it does, it does÷

CF: Yes.

NP: It does age him a bit, but it, er÷ that's now. He is deviating because milkmen do not have horses now.

CF: Yes÷

PM: They don't. You can put sulfuric acid in rice pudding, but a milkman can't have a horse.

NP: You can put it in, but it's a devious thought, but it's not devious within the rules of Just a Minute, what your other thing was. Six seconds for you, Paul, on sweet revenge, starting now.

PM: I always thought milkmen should have cows to drag their floats around, because÷

BUZZ

PM: ÷then it's endless supply÷

NP: Er, Clement Freud has challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Because milkmen don't÷ if milkmen don't have horses, they certainly don't have cows.

NP: But he didn't say÷ he didn't say that the milkman had a cow. He said÷

PM: I said I think they should!

NP: He said he thinks they should.

PM: Yeah!

NP: It's same where you put sulfuric acid into your÷

PM: If you put sulphuric acid in rice pudding, milkmen can have cows.

NP: Yes! He said, "I think you should," and you could. They give me impossible decisions but I try to stick within the rules of Just a Minute, so Paul another point to you. Two seconds more on sweet revenge, starting now.

PM: And I said, "That apple turnover will never walk again!"

WHISTLE

NP: Paul Merton, speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point and he's, er, gone back into the lead. He's two ahead of Clement Freud, three ahead of Liza Tarbuck, and six ahead of Steve Frost. And, Liza Tarbuck, your turn to begin, and the subject is Big Brother.

LT: Hmm.

NP: Tell us something about Big Brother in this game, starting now.

LT: I don't actually have a big brother, but I have got a little brother who is quite big. He's taller than me and he's certainly broader than I am, which makes him a big brother in a sort of little-brother way...

BUZZ

NP: Oh, Clement Freud challenged.

LT: Mr. Freud.

NP: Yes.

CF: Repetition of little.

LT: You're quite right.

NP: There were too many littles, I'm afraid. Yes, yes. So, well, you've got the audience with you, Liza. They, they÷ they're sad about that. Fifty seconds for you, erm, Clement, on Big Brother, starting now.

CF: If I had a big brother I would like him to be exactly like Liza Tarbuck.

BUZZ

NP: Liza, you pressed your buzzer.

LT: Actually highly offensive!

NP: He hesitated.

LT: He hesitated.

NP: He hesitated! Liza, by gosh you were sharp there! On the÷ So you got the subject back, Liza. Another point, of course. Big brother still with you or back with you, 42 seconds starting now.

LT: I think the Big Brother alluded to in this particular, er, situation could well be the TV programme that has become a sort of Zeitgeist type of marker for the country at the moment, with several people talking, discussing it, it filling the newspapers every single day, and I have to admit I am hooked on it. I found myself watching people asleep in bed at two o'clock in the morning as if I'm one of the blooming flat-mates, which of course I plainly am not one of the flat-mates. It's that I'm÷

BUZZ

NP: Erm, Paul Merton challenged.

LT: Oh, I said it twice!

PM: Sadly÷

LT: Oh, I was÷

PM: Sadly÷ Sadly, repetition of flat-mates.

LT: Yeah.

NP: And there was too many flat-mates. Yes, yes, yes. Fourteen seconds for you Paul with Big Brother, starting now.

PM: There was a famous film made in 1984 featuring Big Brother, and the actor that was cast as Big Brother was a comedian that was on the cabaret circuit at the time. So it completely ruined, for me, the movie. The air of thrilling÷

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: No, you can clap. Clement, you challenged as the whistle went. I don't know what to do. I'll give you the benefit of the÷ Go on, what was your challenge?

CF: He hesitated.

NP: No, he didn't!

CF: He did.

NP: So he got÷ So he got another point and one for speaking when the whistle went. Steve Frost, your turn to begin, and the subject now is elbow grease. Tell us something about that in Just A Minute, starting now.

ST: If you want to get something cleaned properly, you've got to use elbow grease. You can't buy it in a shop. It doesn't come in a bottle. It comes from within, the spirit of your soul....

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Surely it comes from the elbow! It doesn't come from the sprit your soul. It'd be soul grease! Deviation.

NP: No, I think he's speaking metaphorically.

PM: He is, and that's deviation in my book!

NP: Yes, yes. It does not come from your elbow. It is a phrase that is used because they use your÷

PM: Doesn't come from the soul, does it?

NP: Yes, it comes from internally. That's what he was trying to say. I got the message there. He was expressing that something that was an emotional thing that÷

SF: Nicholas, I can speak for myself. He's right.

NP: I try to help people, I try to defend them, I try to encourage them, and they destroy it all in a blow. So he said you are right, Paul. There's fifty-one seconds. You tell us something about elbow grease, starting now.

PM: Well, as Steve Frost said, it's something that comes from the soul rather than the elbow, and I think it is, maybe, perhaps, the sort of thing that you should perhaps, perhaps, perhaps÷

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged. 'Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.' I heard it.

CF: Yes.

NP: Forty-one seconds, elbow grease with you, Clement, starting now.

CF: To have sufficient elbow grease, you need a lot of elbow and a sufficiency of grease. Oil, butter, margarine. Utterly-Butterly is quite a good thing. Or I Can't Believe This is Not. I can't tell you what it isn't, because that would be repetition. Elbow grease, if you have a sufficiency of it÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Steve Frost has challenged.

SF: Repetition. Sufficiency, there.

NP: Sufficiency. Yes.

SF: Hmm.

NP: What did you say, Clement?

PM: You had said 'sufficiency' twice.

NP: You did say÷ I thought he was÷

CF: I said it twice.

NP: I thought he was trying to wriggle and say 'I said "sufficient" the first time.'

CF: I said 'sufficiency' twice.

NP: And I think it was 'sufficiency.'

CF: I didn't know you were listening.

NP: Right. Seventeen seconds for you, Steve Frost, on elbow grease, starting now.

SF: If you did actually get some grease on your elbow you'd have to scrub it off using elbow grease. Therefore, there's a predicament because you're using elbow grease to get rid of elbow grease. It just doesn't work. So I suggest a Brillo pad with some vodka rinsed through at 3:30 in the morning, just as you've woken up with a rabbit down your÷

WHISTLE

NP: At the end of that round Steve Frost was speaking as the whistle went. He's moved forward. He's equal with Clement Freud in second place behind Paul Merton, and they're both aheadóor all of them are just ahead of Liza Tarbuck. Clement, it's your turn to begin. The subject is books I have read twice. Tell us something about that subject in this game, starting now.

CF: Let me begin with one book which I've not only read twice, but twice more than twice and twice as much again, because it is my autobiography, which is called÷

BUZZ

CF: ÷ Freud Ego

NP: Er, Liza Tarbuck has challenged you.

LT: Deviation, surely. Twice, twice, and twice again? He's read it more than twice, so he's off the subject. I want a strict twice one.

NP: It's a subtle challenge, and I will give you the benefit of the doubt because you worked that one out so cleverly, and give the subject with fourteenóhow many? Forty-nine seconds÷

LT: Oh, good.

NP: ÷on 'books I have read twice,' starting now.

LT: I remember going back to To Kill A Mockingbird, and that was a wonderful book. Read that twice. Gorgeous. I've also read Perfume twice, and, of course, I'm addicted to The Hobbit, which is a terrific read...

BUZZ

NP: Er, Steve Frost challenged.

SF: It's deviation. You sniff perfume.

NP: It's also the title of a book. Liza÷

SF: Oh, I know it's a book. It's by Peter Suskind, isn't it?

LT: Patrick Suskind, you're right. So÷

SF: Oh, I'm sorry. I read his÷ I read his÷

CF: Can I go on a bit about my autobiography?

NP: So you see, Steve, she was not deviating from the subject, and there are 37 seconds, Liza, having got another point, to continue on books I have read twice, starting now.

LT: There are several of the classics that I'd like to peruse again but I haven't felt that I've had the÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation. She hasn't read them twice.

LT: Touchť.

NP: Yes, touchť. He's got you on it. Called out a subtle challenge again. So, Clement, you have the subject back and there are thirty-one seconds. 'Books I have read twice,' starting now.

CF: Freud Ego comes out on÷

BUZZ

CF: ÷October the 18th.

NP: Cleóer, Paul. You challenged first. Yes. Yes.

CF: October the 18th.

PM: Er, delayed publishing dates. Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation, yes, and well might he hesitate having plugged the autobiography so unmercifully. Twenty-eight seconds. Books I have read twice, Paul, starting now.

PM: I suppose it is the mark of a book that you have really enjoyed. Billy Liar, written by Keith Waterhouse in the late 50s is a book that I've read more that once, and it made a big impact on me when I was about 16 or 17 years old because it concerned a boy who wanted to be in show business, lived way out of London, couldn't figure out how he was ever going to achieve his ambition, and that meant a lot to me at the time because although I lived near the capital I was obliged÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of lived.

NP: Yes, you lived too much I'm afraid. Yes, and Clement, you cleverly got in with two seconds to go on books I've read twice, starting now.

CF: It has÷

BUZZ

CF: ÷thirty pages of pictures÷

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Well, I buzzed because I was going to say, deviation because he hasn't mentioned his autobiography, but in the buzz he mentioned his autobiography, so÷

NP: So, alas. But it was a good attempt. We enjoyed the challenge. Give a bonus point, but Clement, you get a point for being interrupted, and you have one more second on books I have read twice, starting now.

CF: Freud Ego!

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud with many points in the round, including one for speaking as the whistle went has leapt forward. He's now only one point behind our leader, Paul Merton. They're both a little ahead of the other two, and Liza, your turn to begin. My favourite cocktail.

LT: Hmm.

NP: Tell us something about that in Just A Minute, starting now.

LT: If I'm hungry, I'll go for a Bloody Mary, although if I'm not and I just want a drink for the devilment of it I normally go for a vodka and orange, which of course is a Screwdriver÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Steve Frost Challenged.

SF: She's making me thirsty. Can we go? Repetition. Go for. There were two go fors.

NP: There were two go fors. Yes. So, Steve, you got in with 50 seconds to tell us something about my favourite cocktail, starting now.

(SOUND OF LIQUID BEING POURED INTO A GLASS)

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Repetition.

NP: Tell us of what, just so the audience know.

CF: Glug!

NP: Oh! No, I wouldn't give you repetition of glug because it didn't come out of his mouth. That was a noise. So I'm afraid if you're not going to have him for hesitation÷

CF: This is a sound programme!

NP: Yes, but you have to speak the words or make the sounds in your÷

CF: He made the sound.

NP: He didn't make any sound at all. He hesitated÷

CF: Yes he did. He went, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

NP: ÷egregiously. For a glass of water to give a, er, er÷ a background noise, but÷

LT: Practise that whistle, Janet.

NP: So, actually, if you had him for hesitation I'd have given it to you. But you didn't. You had him for, erm÷ something else which was wrong. So, erm, Steve, you still have my favourite cocktail. Don't give me any more problems like that one. And forty-eight seconds, starting now.

SF: A White Russian: kahlua, vodka, ice, with a black straw in it. Sip slowly, not guzzled÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Paul challenged.

PM: No mention of a glass?

NP: It doesn't matter! I÷ I had the picture. I assumed it was in a glass.

PM: Well, I didn't assume that at all. Deviation.

NP: No, I don't think he was deviating from the image he was creating, which we÷ if you assumed it was in a glass or not. I don't think you have to mention the fact it was in a glass. It gets too pedantic for words otherwise! Steve, another point to you, 41 seconds. Tell us more about my favourite cocktail, starting now.

SF: The great thing about that particular cocktail is that you can drink it any time of the day. Morning, mid-÷ that bit÷

BUZZ

NP: Paul?

PM: Well, there was a bit of a hesitation there.

NP: Yes. You can have it for that one. Right.

PM: That's it.

NP: Thirty-four seconds. You tell us something about my favourite cocktail, starting now.

PM: I don't really have a favourite cocktail. Oh, no I do. I've just remembered. My favourite cocktail, without doubt, is a Singapore Sling. I once went to that particular place and I had that drink, and it was÷

BUZZ

NP: Er, Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of that.

NP: Ohhhh. You did emphasise the that, so maybe it's fair. Twenty-three seconds, Clement. My favourite cocktail, starting now.

CF: Once upon a time there was a male Rhode Island Red, and he lived in a farmyard and had lots of little friends who laid eggs because they were female chickens. He was a cock, and he loved in the late evening to gather his friends around him÷

BUZZ

NP: Paul, you challenged.

PM: Repetition of friends.

NP: That's right. Yes.

PM: He said friends.

NP: He was going so slowly the audience had fallen asleep! I wondered when he was going to get to the tail. I think it was coming up, but I think, Paul, you've got in with one second on my favourite cocktail, starting now.

PM: Undoubtedly÷

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round Paul Merton and Clement Freud are equal in the lead and the other two are coming up behind, but a little way back. This is the last subject, it's wildlife. Clement you begin, 60 seconds, stating now.

CF: This is a pretty good expression of my modus vivendi, wildlife. I get up at about 8.00 in the morning, put on my slippers, and walk to the kitchen where a cup of tea and some grapenuts are waiting. I eat these with stark muscavado sugar, and then move on...

BUZZ

NP: Steve you challenged.

SF: I go for deviation because this is the quiet life, not the wild life, is it?

NP: It is, yes.

CF: It's my wild life!

NP: The image that he created of him walking through with just his slippers on, and nothing else. I mean...

SF: That does put that image in our head!

LT: You've done it now!

NP: That was a devious idea, wasn't it. But no, no, you see...

PM: You assume there's a glass, but you don't assume there's any pyjamas!

SF: Yes!

PM: Perhaps he's just...

NP: I actually think, I know, that Clement sleeps in the nude. But then again that might reveal something...

SF: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

PM: I had no idea you knew each other so well! I do beg your pardon!

NP: no, but it wasn't a challenge, mine wasn't, I could have...

SF: Did you know he had grapenuts as well?

NP: You... Paul you challenged about the glass and therefore I have to interpret that. I didn't have to interpret, I commented. And Steve you have a correct challenge because it's wildlife and not the, the quiet sedate life of walking in the nude with the slippers on. Thirty-seven seconds for you Steve starting now.

SF: Any animal that is not tamed and lives in the country is classified as wildlife. So those of you who didn't know, you do now. If he...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: A bit of a hesitation there.

NP: There was a definite hesitation, yes. He was waiting for the response, he got nothing! Twenty-seven seconds, you tell us something about wildlife Paul, starting now.

PM: I'm lucky enough to have a little house in the country and there's all kinds of wildlife running around in the garden. And if you get up very early in the morning, you'll see Clement Freud making his way from the summer house down to the cliff edge. We also have badgers, foxes, rabbits, the odd owl sometimes fly past. And I see an owl as well, an owl...

BUZZ

NP: Clement you challenged.

CF: Hesitation of owl, er repetition.

NP: He hesitated after he repeated owl, yes. Right Clement, eight seconds, you've got in just before the end, wildlife is back with you starting now.

CF: I jump from one tree to another swinging wildly in the branches while leaves brush my face...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Should you be doing this in the nude?

NP: It is very difficult in Wimpole Street as well where he lives.

PM: Swinging from tree to tree! You know where he lives! You know he sleeps in the nude!

NP: One second on wildlife Paul starting now.

PM: Zoological gardens...

WHISTLE

NP: So Paul Merton, speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. And now it remains for me to give you the final situation. Liza Tarbuck, who's never played the game before, came and was magnificent on her first attempt, and she finished up equal with Steve Frost in third place. They were a few points behind Paul Merton, and Paul was only one point behind Clement Freud, so we do say: Clement, this week you are our winner. Thank you to our four delightful players of the game: Liza Tarbuck, Steve Frost, Clement Freud, and Paul Merton, and also to thank this audience here in the Radio Theatre of London. I thank Janet Staplehurst for helping me with the watch and also blowing her whistle. And thank you to our producer Claire Jones and we're indebted to Ian Messiter who created the show which we enjoyed so much. And we're indebted to our audience here in the Radio Theatre who've cheered us on our way magnificently. From our audience, from our panel, from me, Nicholas Parsons, good-bye. Tune in the next time we play Just a Minute. 'Till then, cheerio.

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