JAM:PMerton,DNimmo,CFreud,EIzzard
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PAUL MERTON, DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD and EDDIE IZZARD, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 19 February 1994)

NOTE: Eddie Izzard's last appearance.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more, it’s my pleasure to welcome the four distinctive personalities who this week are going to play Just A Minute. Paul Merton, Derek Nimmo and Clement Freud, and Eddie Izzard. Beside me sits Miriam Jones who keeps the score and also blows a whistle when the 60 seconds are up. This particular recording of Just A Minute is coming from Edinburgh during the festival. As usual I will ask our panelists to speak on the subject I will give them. They will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Let us begin the show this week with Clement Freud. Clement the subject that Ian Messiter’s thought of is Edwin King of Northumbria. Would you talk on that subject if you can in Just A Minute starting now.

CLEMENT FREUD: There is a school of thought that has it that dyslexia caused this non-sequitur...

BUZZ

NP: Eddie Izzard challenged immediately, yes?

EDDIE IZZARD: Was that a hesitation or...?

NP: I thought that was a hesitation, yes...

EI: You look a bit pissed off Clement! Did I...

NP: So Eddie you, you’ve obviously learnt from your first time and you’re very sharp and keen. And you’ve got in with only six seconds gone. You get a point for a correct challenge, 54 seconds are left, Edwin King of Northumbria starting now.

EI: Edwin King of Northumbria was a large man, over nine foot tall. He lived in a tree and often played banjo on Tuesdays. But mainly Northumbria was his place. He liked to hang out there and run around and be King, because he was! King Edwin of Northumbria! And he used to bowl...


BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DEREK NIMMO: He used, he used the word used.

NP: Yes he used more than once. So Derek’s got in with a correct challenge, 36 seconds are left, Derek, Edwin King of Northumbria starting now.

DN: He is of course the King after which Edinburgh is named. Although more precisely in New Zealand they call it Dunedin because that is the Gaelic pronunciation. He was an extraordinary man, born in Wales and became a great conqueror throughout the whole of Britain. Not only did he take Scotland but he took everywhere except Kent. And he... was converted to Christianity...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

DN: Who was doing that?

PAUL MERTON: Well there was a bit of sloppy dialect there.

DN: Yes!

PM: We kind of sort of sidled towards a few vowels and it all went a bit wrong really.

NP: So what is your challenge?

PM: Deviation.

NP: Deviation, from what?

PM: The English language.

NP: The English language as she is spoke. All right Paul, I agree with your challenge and you have a point for a correct challenge of course and there are 18 seconds left for you to tell us something about Edwin King of Northumbria starting now.

PM: Edwin was in fact 10 feet tall, if he stood one a one foot high stool. And he did an awful lot of this because he...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of foot.

NP: Ten foot... yes, he stood on a one foot stool and he was 10 foot tall. Well, well listened.

PM: That’s mean, isn’t it?

NP: He let it go for a bit. I just was wondering about it, I just had to do a quick recall you know. I just sort of run the tape back in my mind, and it came back...

PM: You, you’ve got a tape running in your mind?

NP: In this, on the basis that all our minds are rather like superior computers.

PM: (laughs)

NP: Clement you have a correct challenge, 10 seconds, Edwin King of Northumbria starting now.

CF: He was actually called Wendy Queen of Northumbria. And Edinburgh was called Wendsbury. All this nonsense about royalty...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle is blown gains an extra point, and it was Clement Freud. Naturally he’s in the lead at the end of that round. Derek Nimmo will you take the next round, the subject is shorts, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

DN: There’s nothing nicer, I think, in Edinburgh than wandering around in shorts. There’s two chaps sitting in the front row wearing those very garments. I would like to wear them myself but the weather was rather inclement when I started this morning, that’s got nothing to do with Freud. I’m talking about the temperature. But when I wear shorts I do have rather skinny legs and perhaps it is a good idea to keep them out of...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Well even if he doesn’t wear shorts he has skinny legs!

NP: Very...

CF: The circumference of a part of the body is irrelevant to the garment...

NP: It’s a very clever interpretation of deviation which we grant you Clement. And you get a point for that and 41 seconds to tell us something about shorts starting now.

CF: My favourite playbill is from Southworld Cinema before the war. And it said "The Seventh Veil with shorts". I’ve always been awfully fond of that. I...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton...

CF: More than the audience!

PM: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, he was so fond of it he waited and nothing happened. And Paul you have a correct challenge, 29 seconds, shorts starting now.

PM: In the 1930s Laurel and Hardy became immensely popular because they made a short film once a month for 12 months of the year...

BUZZ

NP: And Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Months, er...

NP: No the other one was months.

DN: Month.

NP: Once a month and the other one was months. Sorry Derek, well tried but incorrect challenge. Paul has another point and there are 20 seconds, shorts Paul starting now.

PM: They won an Academy Award for one of these movies. It was called The Music Box. it consisted of the two of them trying to move a piano up a huge flights of stairs. The end joke, right at the end...

BUZZ

PM: (laughs)

NP: Oh it’s a tough game, isn’t it. Derek you got in first, yes?

DN: Well hesitation and double end.

NP: Yes two ends, yeah. Seven seconds Derek, shorts starting now.

DN: I went into a bar in Rose Street and asked for some shorts. I wanted a whiskey and a gin. The barmaid was frightfully helpful and kind to me...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: Eddie challenged just before the whistle.

EI: Oh I’m sorry, I just thought two bars there.

NP: Yes there were.

PM: Barmaid.

CF: Barmaid.

EI: No I take that back.

NP: You take that back, all right...

DN: An extra point. An extra point for a wrong challenge actually.

NP: All right then, an extra point for a wrong challenge and a point for speaking when the whistle went. So we give him a round of applause. And Derek Nimmo’s in the lead at the end of that round. Paul Merton will you take the next round, the subject bugs. Can you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

PM: Bugs Bunny became very popular with a series of short films during the 1940s. Particularly one end joke right at the finale of one of his movies was a marvelous example of the visual sight gag at its finest. Bugs was walking down...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: I’m sorry. Damn! I’d forgotten that Bugs was...

NP: Bugs is on the card, yes, you can repeat the subject on the card.

CF: Apologies.

NP: You’ve only been playing the game for 26 years Clement, but it’s... It’s very difficult sometimes. But er but because you interrupted him Paul gets a point for that and continues with 43 seconds, bugs, starting now.

PM: When I was working in Australia some five years ago, I was plagued by a particular mosquito which used to get into my bed every night and bite the hell out of me. I would wake up every morning, and saw this huge bloated thing in the corner of the room filled up with my blood, mark you...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of blood.

NP: Yes you had a lot of blood taken from him. Derek it’s your turn to begin, 25 seconds, bugs, starting now.

DN: King Edwin of Northumbria was actually smitten down by the most awful bug which he acquired when passing through North Wales on Tuesday the 15th of April 1632...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: That wasn’t a Tuesday, it was a Thursday. Deviation.

NP: Were you around?

PM: No, no, I just know, I just... it’s one of my hobbies. Through the centuries I know what day followed on what day, the 16th of April round about that time was a Thursday.

NP: How do I judge on that?

PM: Well why don’t you run the little computer that’s your brain...?

NP: It hasn’t been programmed as far back as 1632! No points allowed and Derek keeps the subject, 13 seconds left, bugs starting now.

DN: I must say that er Paul Merton...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: There was a hesitation.

NP: There was a hesitation. Eleven seconds for you Paul on bugs starting now.

PM: One of the criminals who made an awful lot of money in the 1920s was called Bugsy Moran and he was a terrible fellow. He rivaled Al Capone and all those other crooks that he...

WHISTLE

NP: Paul Merton was then speaking as the whistle went and he gains an extra point for doing so, he’s now equal in the lead with Derek Nimmo. Eddie Izzard, your turn to begin, the subject haggis. Will you tell us something about that Scottish delicacy in this game starting now.

EI: It’s a type of seabird that lives in Kent. It often plays banjo in trees. But very rarely is eaten as a Scottish delicacy including things that sheep go, yes missus and er...

BUZZ

EI: My brain caved in, sorry!

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Well he’d sort of gone, hasn’t he really?

NP: Yes you brought him out of his world of fantasy back to earth. I think ah yes he’d gone. Forty-seven seconds on the subject of haggis Derek starting...

DN: Haggis is quite rightly called the great chieftain of the pudding race. There is no finer...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, I’ve never heard haggis called the great chieftain of the pudding race.

NP: Yes, Robbie Burns!

PM: Is it true?

CRIES OF "YES" FROM THE AUDIENCE

PM: In one simple slip, I’ve turned the entire audience against me! So is a strawberry fool like the Prince Regent or something?

NP: (in Scottish accent) Robbie Burns was the whole point, yon chieftain of the pudding race. (lapses into gibberish)

BUZZ

EI: That was just, I’m just challenging that! Um generally!

NP: That was Doric Scots gibberish. So Paul I’m very sorry, Derek was right, he keeps the subject and a point of course, 42 seconds on haggis starting now.

DN: Heart, lungs, liver, mixed together with suet and oatmeal and all put into the belly of a sheep. Very extra...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: It’s the pluck of a sheep.

NP: The pluck? I thought it was the stomach, is the stomach a pluck as well?

CF: Mmmmm.

NP: Is the stomach a pluck?

CRIES OF "YES" FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I suppose the stomach comes from the belly of a sheep. No, I think, I think you are correct Clement, I give you the benefit of the doubt...

DN: Why?

NP: Well the belly of an animal is the whole of his... the whole body of him is his belly isn’t it. It’s not just the, the stomach.

EI: It seems that this audience is an entire expert on haggis. Everybody...

PM: I think they should have the subject and we should challenge them!

NP: I think, let them decide. If you agree with Clement Freud’s challenge, you cheer for Clement. And if you disagree you boo for Derek Nimmo and you all do it together now.

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Even the Scots are divided amongst themselves! All right Derek what we do is we call it a draw. No points scored, you keep the subject, haggis, 33 seconds starting now.

DN: I once went to a Burnham supper in Kuwait and the local chieftain was called El Jock. He was a sheik of...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of chieftain.

NP: Yes great chieftain of the pudding race.

DN: Oh well listened! Well done you!

NP: So Paul’s got in with his chieftain, 30 seconds on haggis starting now.

PM: I like haggis quite a lot and I eat it whenever I’m up here. There’s a butcher near where I live back in London who also specialises in haggis and it’s a wonderful dish. I like giving it to people who don’t know what’s in it because they say "oh that’s lovely". And then you tell them, they go "oooh!" And you say "no it’s quite nice, you enjoyed it". And they say "well in retrospect I did, but if you’d given me the ingredients beforehand I might have hesitated before I put my fork into this particular chieftain of all puddings". I believe that um...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Um, hesitation.

NP: Oh he was going with such style, I think that was a bit, a bit sharp yes. No I’m going to give Paul the benefit of the doubt on this one and say you have three seconds to go on haggis Paul starting now.

PM: The undoubted thing about haggis...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: We’ve had a thing before.

NP: Yes you did have a thing before, yes.

CRIES OF "AWWWWW" FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Well listened Clement. Two seconds on haggis Clement starting now.

CF: It is state if the art offal!

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement Freud was speaking as the whistle went, gained the extra point. He’s in third place just behind Paul Merton and just behind Derek Nimmo who’s in the lead. And Eddie Izzard is coming up in fourth place. Clement Freud your turn to begin, the subject swashbuckling. Can you tell us something about that subject in Just A Minute starting now.

CF: A buckling is a smoked herring, normally from Lowestoft or Yarmouth. Swash is a different matter altogether. Swashbuckling is a rotten egregious arrogant mean nasty way to intimidate other people. And it is unusual in this... programme...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Was there a sort of slight mispronounciation there?

NP: I thought so, yes. Unusual erm in this programme.

PM: Or hesitation.

NP: Well that was my hearing as well Paul. So I give you...

CF: Do you share a hearing aid?

NP: Oh you can’t win with this lot, can you? Right, Paul, 40 seconds to tell us something about swashbuckling starting now.

PM: Swashbuckling was very popular in the 1940s in the movie houses. Stewart Granger who recently died was a prime exponent of this. But I suppose the chieftain among all swashbucklers was Errol Flynn. If there was a swash he would buckle it without no hesitation at all. He’d be straight in there, in fact he used to do it all of the time. He’d go down to the shops, buy a newspaper, some milk, do a bit of swashbuckling and then go home and see Mrs Flynn who was getting his breakfast ready...

BUZZ

NP: Um someone buzzed but no light came on.

BUZZ

NP: Eddie that’s you.

EI: I buzzed three times, no light, my light’s gone knackered...

NP: No light’s coming on, no...

PM: Well can’t we just assume that if the light doesn’t come on that Eddie challenged?

EI: I challenged because my light was faulty!

NP:You...

EI: I challenged on Flynns actually, there were two Flynns.

NP: Thirteen seconds for swashbuckling with you starting now.

EI: Swashbuckling is a great profession. I’ve often swashed and buckled and grabbed swords and ran out into the street and tried to kill people with the sword. It is...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: No I was gonna... he said swords and sword. I was going to challenge on repetition but he did say, he said swords and sword.

NP: He did indeed. Thanks for drawing our attention...

PM: I do apologise for any embarrassment I caused anybody with that ridiculous challenge!

NP: It wasn’t a ridiculous challenge, it...

EI: I accept that profuse apology! My lawyer will not be in contact!

NP: But also it helps you because you get a point for an incorrect challenge Eddie, and you continue with four seconds on swashbuckling starting now.

EI: Often I’ve grabbed things...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of often.

EI: No.

NP: He said after then, he saidafter then, after.

PM: Did you say after then?

NP: Yes.

EI: I have no idea what I said, but what I said after then, you were wrong!

NP: I thought you said after so the chairman’s decision has to be final. And you’ve got two seconds to tell us more about swashbuckling starting now.

EI: It is a great thing to go out into the...

WHISTLE

NP: So Eddie Izzard was then speaking as the whistle went and gained that extra point. And Derek it’s your turn to begin, Genoa. Can you tell us something about that city or that subject in 60 seconds starting now.

DN: The Italian city of Genoa is in a wonderful position, right on the northwest corner at the top end of the great toe of Italy. I like to think of the people that were born there, people like Christopher Columbus for instance...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of people.

NP: Yes there were too many people, sorry Derek. And Clement’s got in with a point and er 47 seconds are left for Genoa starting now.

CF: Genoa is also the name of the sail, as in 40 years before the mast. During which one pulled it up and hoicked it down again. And a kind of cake mixture, made without fat. Egg yolk, sugar, flour and soda would be the ideal ingredients whereby to achieve a genoa which is then put into a Victoria sandwich and entered at a women’s institute fete. Frequently achieving first prize or second, sometimes third or highly commended. Genoa is a city in Italy which Derek Nimmo knows awfully well, being a world traveler. It’s not one that I care for particularly because they speak Italian...

WHISTLE

NP: Paul your turn to begin, the subject pomposity. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute... don’t look at me please! I think you’re anticipating what Paul might say, starting now.

PM: Pomposity is a mixture of two old words, pomp and osity. And perhaps the epitome of pomposity is Nicholas Parsons. He chairs this programme like he’s got some idea what’s going on! He runs the computer in his brain which to me I think is probably more of an abacus than a computer. Aaaahhh!

BUZZ

NP: Eddie Izzard, you challenged.

EI: Yeah! Oh um, I just thought I’d got it then! Oh right yeah. Well, he did things wrong.

NP: He did, yes. Can you think of one thing he did wrong?

EI: Oh it was, I can’t remember! I got it right, I know I got it! Um he repeated something that was er, it was vacant. Computer, yes that’s it, computer.

PM: No the second one was computaaaaaaaaah!

EI: That’s it, deviation from the pronunciation as marked down in the book of...

NP: No, Paul frequently does that so we, we don’t have him for that. So repetition of computer, was it?

EI: Yah!

NP: All right. Forty-three seconds to tell us sojmething about pomposity starting now.

EI: Pomposity is a big plowering thing that lands...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Plowering?

EI: Yeah! It’s when, it’s a mixture of ploughing and flowering. And it was a 14th century thing that people, that nuns used to go round, um, and they used to build up their, their bodily fluids to an enormous amount. And it was part of the basic er pomposity of...

PM: Well in the case why can’t I get away with computaaaaaaah!

EI: Because that’s rubbish! Whereas I got an explanation for mine!

NP: We give Paul, we give Eddie a point for his delightful explanation of his impossible word and give Paul a point for the correct challenge, he takes over the subject, pomposity, 40 seconds starting now.

PM: I knew a man, oh funny, I’d better stop then...

BUZZ

PM: I suddenly sounded like I was doing Bingo there!

NP: Eddie you challenged.

PM: There’s a baby crying in Chalet 14!

EI: I just challenged for hesitation of the mind thought.

NP: That’s right, hesitation, yes that’s right.

PM: The microphone threw me! It’s doing it again.

NP: The microphone threw you?

PM: Yes! It’s an old English expression Nicholas, dating, dating back to the 13th century.

NP: Eddie you have got a correct challenge and you have 37 seconds to tell us something about pomposity starting now.

EI: Politicians often suffer from pomposity. They stand up in front of large groups of people and talk for hours and hours...

BUZZ

EI: Oh bugger!

NP: It’s a tough game, isn’t it Eddie. Clement you got in first yes, hours and hours and hours. Twenty-nine seconds are left, pomposity starting now.

CF: I think of all the professions who are unpompous, politicians rate very highly indeed. A pompous politician...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Deviation, they’re tremendously pompous.

NP: I would agree with you er Derek. So you get the subject, 20 seconds on pomposity starting now.

DN: I am an authority on pomposity, because I’m one of the most pompous people in the whole of the British Isles. And I like being pompous. Er...

BUZZ

NP: Eddie Izzard challenged.

EI: Pompous, two pompous.

DN: Yes.

NP: Yes, pomposity is the subject but you can’t say pompous twice. Twelve seconds are left, pomposity starting now.

EI: I’ve often stood up in front of large groups of people and been terribly pompous. Because my mother used to say to me when I was very small, only about six or seven or eight or nine...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

EI: Bugger!

PM: There was about three ors.

NP: Yes you...

EI: I thought I was being very clever there doing six, seven. I thought I could go on for hours!

NP: Six, seven, eight...

EI: I just thought oh, I can do numbers for hours! But then there was the ors.

NP: But you mustn’t put an or between each number.

EI: Yeah I’m only, I’m only starting!

NP: And you got in Paul with one second to go on pomposity starting now.

PM: Pommmmmmmm-pos...

BUZZ

NP: No, no, no, Eddie challenged before the whistle went.

EI: Well it’s dragging! He’s dragging! He was, he was cruising!

APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

PM: You mean to tell me in half a second, I’d got halfway through pomposity and that’s dragging?

EI: Yeah!

NP: All right Eddie, half a second on pomposity starting now.

BUZZ

EI: Pom...

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: He hesitated.

NP: Yes he did, right.

EI: I did not!

NP: Clement Freud you’ve got quarter of a second on pomposity starting now.

BUZZ

NP: Yes! Eddie?

EI: He didn’t even think right!

NP: He didn’t even start, all right.

EI: Anything! I just want it back!

NP: A fifth of a second on pomposity starting now.

WHISTLE

NP: Hooray! Miriam Jones completely lost control of the points! It doesn’t really matter! But according to her Eddie Izzard is now in the lead! Eddie it’s your turn to begin, the subject is miracles. Will you talk on it for Just A Minute starting now.

EI: Politicians often believe in miracles. They stand up and talk for hours or seconds about stuff that goes on. And I never really understood what they really... oh no, bugger it!

BUZZ

NP: Oh! Derek Nimmo you challenged.

DN: Yes.

NP: What for?

DN: Well a hesitation.

NP: Yes of course, but I had to know, you might...

DN: Oh right.

NP: ...have said something else, I might not have allowed it.

DN: I thought your computer was switched on, you see.

NP: We’re talking about my mind! There we are! Forty-nine seconds Derek tell us something about miracles starting now.

DN: Miracles, yes that’s rather a good subject isn’t it. One can think of the miracle at the feast of Canaan. I wish I could do that trick, to get all that water and turn it into wine. How exciting, how profitable it would be...

BUZZ

DN: You could use 12 and a half percent....

NP: Eddie Izzard challenged.

EI: Two hows.

NP: Mmm.

EI: How exciting, how profitable.

NP: Yes. Well done Eddie, you listened well. Thirty-six seconds to take back the subject, another point for you, miracles starting now.

EI: Miracles come in different sizes. Some are green and some are blue...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of some.

NP: Some are green and some are blue, yes. And 32 seconds for you Clement to tell us something about miracles starting now.

CF: It does rather surprise me that when you turn... water into wine...

BUZZ

NP: Eddie Izzard challenged.

EI: No, I take that back. It was just your, your style has a hesitation built in which is...

CF: You mean there’s a gap between words?

NP: Yes!

EI: But can I say some gaps are more equal than others.

NP: In other words, he has the more normal gap between his words than yours Eddie.

EI: Well some gaps are gaps and some gaps are gaps and you know, a bit more, and I just thought I’d...

NP: The chairman has to judge and in this occasion I disagree Eddie.

EI: Yeah.

NP: So Clement keeps the subject, 28 seconds, miracles starting now.

CF: And that particular miracle is replicated almost daily in restaurants where they turn wine into water. And no-one ever seems to complain about it...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, it’s not replicated, if the wine’s turned into water. If the water turns into wine it would be the replicated.

NP: Very clever challenge, yes. Reproducing what was done in the Bible, on this occasion it was reversed. So well listened, sorry, well thought for...

CF: It’s a replication of a miracle.

NP: I, I think it was a very clever interpretation...

CF: Oh good, good!

NP: ...of deviation. Paul has a point and 17 seconds on miracles starting now.

PM: I woke up once morning and looked in the airing cupboard and there was a huge cake, singing a Frank Sinatra song. I thought this is extraordinary. I don’t know any other piece of confectionery that could carry a popular tune. And yet, there it was! I then realised that if...

WHISTLE

NP: Right, so a very even contest. Eddie Izzard is still just in the lead, one point ahead of Paul Merton and Clement Freud, and three ahead of Derek Nimmo. As we enter the last round. Cloud Nine is the subject, a good subject to finish on. Clement start us off, 60 seconds beginning now.

CF: Some years ago I picked up a piece of sheet music and saw that it was headed page nine, and then realised it was actually Paganini. And I have an idea that Cloud Nine is not totally dissimilar from that. I never...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Deviation, the subject’s Cloud Nine.

NP: Yes it’s not Page Nine, it’s Cloud Nine and I don’t think we’ve got on to Cloud Nine yet.

CF: Well give me a chance!

NP: Well you’ve had 15 seconds, and in this game...

CF: Oh good!

NP: ... if you haven;t got it by 15 seconds...

CF: Aha!

NP: ... you’ve deviated. So Paul I agree with your challenge, 45 seconds left, Cloud Nine starting now.

PM: It’s one of these phrases that people use to describe people whose feet perhaps...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo.

DN: Repetition of people.

NP: Yes that’s right. Forty seconds are left, Cloud Nine starting now.

DN: I am always on Cloud Nine when I’m in this beautiful city of Edinburgh. Having my haggis for breakfast, lunch, dinner, tea. Every possible meal available. Wandering around the Royal Mile. Smiling faces, looking at kilts. Tartan everywhere, little hats, pretty old ladies, grass on the meadows. And of course the Fringe. And what do I see at the Fringe? I see Mr...

BUZZ

NP: Paul Merton challenged.

PM: Repetition of Fringe.

NP: Yes you mentioned the Fringe before. But er there are 16 seconds. Paul you’ve got in there on this subject, Cloud Nine starting now.

PM: My hobby as a child was collecting clouds. And I would number them and keep them in my bedroom. My favourite undoubtedly was Cloud Nine. Cloud Eight, not so sure about. Cloud 11, there but not really. But Cloud Nine was the one...

WHISTLE

NP: Well as I said a moment ago that was the last round. And now I give you the final score. A very close-run contest again. But just to mention Derek Nimmo finished in fourth place, one point behind Clement Freud who was one point behind Eddie Izzard. And just ahead of Eddie was Paul Merton so this week he is our winner! It only remains for me to thank our four intelligent and talented panelists for the contribution they made to make this such a delightful show. I thank also Miriam Jones who’s kept the score and blown her whistle so well. Our creator of the game, Ian Messiter, our producer Sarah Smith and from me Nicholas Parsons, and all of us here, to this lovely audience on the Fringe in Edinburgh, thank you very much until we’re on the air and playing Just A Minute again, good-bye!

THEME MUSIC