JAM:DNimmo,CFreud,PJones,SFry
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD, PETER JONES and STEPHEN FRY, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 24 December 1994)

NOTE: First show produced by Anne Jobson, Liz Trott's first appearance blowing the whistle.


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome the four exciting, talented people who are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back three of our regular players of the game, that is Derek Nimmo, Peter Jones and Clement Freud. And someone who has only played the game occasionally, Stephen Fry. Will you please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Liz Trott who’s going to keep the score and blow a whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this edition of Just A Minute is being specially recorded for Christmas Eve. So I think probably there will be a great Christmas feel about the show. And as usual I’m going to ask the four panelists to speak on the subject I give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. And we’ll begin this special Christmas edition with Clement Freud. Clement would you talk about my favourite Christmas present, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

CLEMENT FREUD: My favourite Christmas present, I was going to suggest, would be a pipe of port. Until I found that that contained over 800 bottles. And I think on the whole I would prefer something that didn’t take up as much room. So perhaps a voucher, what my grandchildren call a vulture. Ah like going to Paris on Eurostar and being able to have lunch at er...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DEREK NIMMO: Hesitation.

NP: Yes there was a definite er there. So Derek Nimmo you get a point for a correct challenge and take over the subject, there are 33 seconds left, my favourite Christmas present.

DN: My favourite Christmas present was given to me a few years ago by my wife. It’s a beautiful walnut bureau bookcase of 18th century origin, probably... Milan...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PETER JONES: That was a bit of a hesitation.

DN: Mmmmm!

NP: There was a hesitation definitely Peter...

DN: Absolutely!

NP: A point to you and the subject, 23 seconds, my favourite Christmas present.

PJ: That was an electric train which my Uncle Harry gave me. And it was surrounded by a farmyard which my father contributed. And it was a marvelous toy. It was a er...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo got in first, yes Derek?

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Yes repetition it was, 13 seconds, my favourite Christmas present Derek starting now.

DN: When you open the flap, there are all kinds of secret drawers inside...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry.

STEPHEN FRY: This is just disgusting! Talking about his wife here? I remember something about his wife giving him a present and then talking about opening her flap and finding her drawers! Who was she?

NP: It is...

SF: I mean!

NP: I agree it is a very devious thought but he wasn’t deviating...

SF: Oh fair enough!

NP: ...within the rules of Just A Minute. So Derek gets a point because it was an incorrect challenge and keeps the subject, eight seconds, my favourite Christmas present starting now.

DN: It has two doors made with gray glass. They weren’t that colour originally but rather like in 13the Corin... Corinthians, when you say...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry now.

SF: Well I don’t know what that was but it was...

DN: No, little bit of extra...

SF: Thirteenth Corin...

NP: Yes we interpret it as hesitation, Stephen, so you’ve got in with two seconds to go on this subject, my favourite Christmas present starting now.

SF: My favourite...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation? I thought?

NP: Rubbish!

SF: My favourite Christmas present... I’m going to start before you start the clock now because I’m so scared of the whole thing...

WHISTLE

NP: There was actually one and half seconds to go, of course whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gets an extra point and it was Stephen Fry who is in second place at the end of the round behind Derek Nimmo. Peter Jones, what about you taking this one. Who I would like to kiss under the mistletoe.

BUZZ

NP: Clement has challenged.

CF: Deviation!

NP: Why?

CF: Who! Whom I would like!

NP: Peter Jones would you like to talk on whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe for 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: I’d want to clear this with my wife of 40 years. And I don’t think there are many people that she’d find acceptable. But the Queen Mother perhaps would be a good choice. But then one would have to get the permission of Buckingham Palace...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of permission.

NP: Yes you had to get your wife’s permission at first...

SF: I thought he said he had it to clear this with my wife.

PJ: Clear this with my wife!

SF: I don’t think he said permission.

DN: Oh right!

SF: Good thinking!

NP: Well done!

PJ: It couldn’t be correct because we have a very open sort of relationship.

NP: Yes it’s amazing how much of their life comes out in Just A Minute. Peter you have an incorrect challenge so you get a point and you keep the subject. There are 47 seconds left, whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe starting now.

PJ: Whether it would be at her place or mine would have to be arranged between us. There would be no...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Too many woulds.

NP: Too many woulds, you were saying would this and would that.

PJ: Yes!

NP: We let a few go but I think...

PJ: Well...

NP: Clement a correct challenge, 41 seconds left, whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe starting now.

CF: A mistletoe is a unisexual parasitic evergreen, rather like Nicholas Parsons.

LOUD LAUGHTER FROM THE CROWD

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: He just sort of stopped!

CF: It was enough! It’s called a contribution!

NP: It’s what they call in show business riding the laugh.

CF: (laughing) It’s what they call a contribution.

NP: Yes. I don’t know why...

DN: It was very well received! I must say that, I liked it actually very much.

NP: Derek a correct challenge, 29 seconds, whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe starting now.

DN: I would like to kiss Miss Freda Bowering of 10 Caravan Park, Middlegold Lane, Bilthorpe, near Newark, Nottingham. I’ve had a huge passion for this lady for many years since I first saw her at the Adelphi Theatre 21... um...

BUZZ

DN: I couldn’t say years! It’s all wrong! All wrong! Never mind!

SF: Hesitation in the service of avoiding a repetition.

NP: Yes...

SF: Which is always...

NP: Right Stephen, 11 seconds, whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe.

SF: Well I could an enormous number of people of course. Douglas Hurd features at the top of my list! Surely one of the most snoggable men the century’s ever given birth to! Close after him, you’d have to put Stephen Hendrie and after that I suppose er...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud you’ve challenged.

CF: Repetition.

NP: Of what?

CF: After, after.

NP: Oh after after after, you’re right. Clement a correct challenge and two seconds on whom I would like to kiss under the mistletoe starting now.

CF: I think nobody on this platform!

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: No, Stephen actually got in before the whistle. Stephen?

SF: Well there was a good second between the platform and the whistle I thought.

NP: There was a definite hesitation Stephen.

CF: As there were only two seconds which I was left with...

NP: I know, but you did stop before the whistle, and Stephen got in and he’s done unto you what you tried to do to him. And there’s half a second Stephen for you to tell us about whom you would like to kiss under the mistletoe starting now.

SF: Emma Freud obviously!

WHISTLE

NP: So Stephen Fry was once again speaking when the whistle went, gained the extra point for doing so. And Derek it’s your turn to begin, where I hang my stocking, 60 seconds... In one of those flaps you were referring to before, I don’t know! Starting now.

DN: I always like my stockings well-hung! So I hang them out about eight days before Christmas so they’re suitably ripe by the time the great feast arrives, Yuletide or whatever. Then I take them indoors, put them in the airing cupboard for a moment or two and then go into the bedroom. Now it depends which room I’m in because in the country I have a four-poster and it’s very difficult to put them on top of the post. But there, how, if I’m in London...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: What do you mean there how? What, what does that mean?

DN: It’s a sort of... when you’ve sort of lost for rubbish, you say things like that, don’t you.

PJ: It’s a bit of a Northamptonshire...

NP: Deviation from English as we understand it or as it’s normally spoken.

PJ: Yes.

NP: Peter correct challenge, 35 seconds are available, where I hang my stocking starting now.

PJ: Well it happens to be where I am at the time. If I were in a holiday inn in Ottawa, I should hang my stocking there. There’d be little chance of it ever being filled by anybody because there’s no-one there I know at all. But if I were somewhere else...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: If I were.

NP: Yes, if I were. Clement a correct challenge, 19 seconds, where I hang my stocking starting now.

CF: I am opposed to hanging and I don’t wear stockings. But having said that it is only fair to announce I would hang them from my suspender. Ah...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry challenged.

SF: A little bit of a hesitation.

NP: Yes after his suspender, yes. Six seconds available, where I hang my stocking Stephen starting now.

SF: Well I’m a bit of an old traditionalist. I like to hang it on the mantelpiece of my bedroom and wait for Santa to fill it er any night...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones.

PJ: There was a bit of a hesitation.

NP: I think so too Peter. You’ve got in with one second to go on where I hang my stocking starting now.

PJ: Four Ottawa...

WHISTLE

NP: Peter Jones was then speaking as the whistle went, and he’s now taken the lead. Stephen Fry will you take the next round. How I like to spend Christmas Day, 60 seconds to tell us starting now.

SF: Oh how I’d like to spend Christmas Day. Well, snogging Douglas Hurd obviously! But there are other things to be done. I have a large party of guests for Christmas and er I like to hesitate as I just did. And I like also...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: A self confessed hesitation!

NP: A self admission, oh Stephen!

SF: (laughs heartily) Oh dear!

NP: Fifty seconds, how I like to spend Christmas Day Derek starting now.

DN: I like to spend Christmas Day in a totally traditional way, surrounded by children and grandchildren. I will be in the country, they will all be sitting at my knee, first thing in the morning to open their stockings. Tremendous ceremony this! We go through er...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry challenged.

SF: Unless his home in the country is in Japan, I think that’s deviation of some kind!

NP: Thirty-six seconds for you Stephen on how I like to spend Christmas Day starting now.

SF: I have to inspect the Aga first thing, because I’ve left the turkey in overnight and check that it hasn’t dried out which is a thing that happened...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Two checks.

NP: You checked...

SF: Oh did I? I’m so bad at this. Sorry!

NP: Clement there are 31 seconds on how I like to spend Christmas Day starting now.

CF: Putting a check turkey in an argour is a silly way to spend Christmas Day. But what I quite enjoy doing is placing the bird in an oven, on the previous night (getting slower and slower) which would be this evening if you’re listening to the original recording, although the repeat could well backdate...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen you challenged.

SF: This is just agony! Just agony!

NP: I was...

SF: We were listening to a turkey cooking overnight there. A butterball turkey!

NP: Stephen you got in there with a correct challenge, you have 12 seconds to tell us more about how I like to spend Christmas Day starting now.

SF: I suppose Clement will put me right here, but I like to bung the giblets, make a stock and then get some kind of chestnut soup going, bubbling away at the back of this said cooker, stove, range or whatever you like to call it. And meanwhile there are people to entertain, stockings to open, all kinds of things to do...

WHISTLE

NP: So Stephen Fry was then speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point for doing so and with other points in that round, he’s now taken the lead. And Clement Freud it’s your turn to begin, the subject brandy butter. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

CF: Brandy butter is what you would add to Christmas pudding if you think there is in that delicacy an insufficient of...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: He stopped.

NP: Yes, hesitation. Derek, 53 seconds available to you on brandy butter starting now.

DN: I’m frightfully keen on brandy butter. As long as there’s a lot of cognac with it. I would though... to... camminja...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry.

SF: I’m afraid we’re back in Nagasaki or wherever it is.

NP: Forty-seven seconds Stephen, brandy butter starting now.

SF: Well I’m sort of with what I assume is the tenor and thrust of Clement’s earlier comment, which frankly to me Christmas pudding doesn’t need any enriching, especially sugary things. I prefer cream. But brandy butter is much loved by many. I suppose I ought to repeat now so that in some way Clement can interrupt me and give me a good recipe...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of Clement.

NP: Yes!

SF: That’s it! You spotted it! Good!

NP: So he wants to hear more about your brandy butter, 33 seconds left Clement starting now.

CF: There are only two ways of doing this, and the first one is to get butter and put brandy into it which you can do with a wooden spoon especially if the butter is soft. But...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of butter.

CF: No, brandy butter!

NP: Brandy butter.

DN: Oh I see.

NP: We’ve only been playing the game for 28 years Derek, but can I remind you, you can repeat the words on the card, which Clement did. Twenty-three seconds, brandy butter Clement starting now.

CF: The preferred methodology is to take the butter and... whisk it...

NP: Ah Clement... ah Stephen your light’s came on but there was no buzz.

CF: No it was, he didn’t mean it!

SF: It was a, it was a hesitant...

CF: It was a mistake, it was a mistake!

SF: I pressed it so gentle that I just go like that, you see, and it lights up.

NP: Yes...

SF: The audience can see it light, but it doesn’t actually buzz. I have to do...

BUZZ

SF: ...that to buzz it.

NP: Ah!

SF: Very confusing.

NP: Anyway I can assure all the listeners that Stephen Fry’s light did come on though he didn’t press his buzzer very hard. What was your challenge?

SF: Well he just seemed to be er hesitating a little. But it’s so long ago that I’ve forgotten!

NP: I don’t think he hesitated...

SF: No! I...

NP: Seventeen seconds Clement brandy butter starting now.

CF: (breathes in) Currants...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: He did hesitate yes. Fifteen and a half seconds, brandy butter, with you Peter starting now.

PJ: I think you should all know that you can make whisky butter or rum butter or even tyser butter by the same method. So you just mix it up with the butter, add a little sugar if you don’t think it’s sweet enough, and then put it in the fridge until the time comes to serve the Christmas pudding...

WHISTLE

NP: Peter Jones was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. He’s now equal with Stephen Fry in the lead. And Peter it’s your turn to begin, the subject, how to avoid a family argument on Christmas Day. Oh a lot of people are laughing in the audience. This seems to be familiar ground. Sixty seconds as always Peter starting now.

PJ: Give everybody in the house, first thing in the morning, a large glass of orange juice well laced with tranquilisers! This way you’ll have a lot of peace for most of the day and if they need topping up then that’s what you do. You get a family sized bottle of these little pills which can be bought in the black market fairly cheaply. And if that doesn’t work then er...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry challenged.

SF: Well I sensed a bit of hesitation there, I’m probably being over strict.

PJ: I think you were yes!

SF: Yes I think I probably am, yes.

NP: I think you’re being a bit over keen.

SF: Yes I think so, yeah. Carry on Peter!

NP: So an incorrect challenge, Peter, another point, 35 seconds...

CF: Did you not see my light go on?

NP: I definitely didn’t see your light go on Clement...

CF: Ah!

NP: Thirty-five seconds Peter, how to avoid a family argument on Christmas Day.

PJ: The other way is to go and live somewhere else on your own! In a caravan. You can avoid it. In Sydney, in Australia, there are cruises that leaves er the bank...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

PJ: Yes quite.

NP: There was an er there Peter yes, 24 seconds Derek, how to avoid a family argument on Christmas Day starting now.

DN: I think I agree with Peter. The best thing is to get as far away as possible, possibly to Ho Chi Minh City which used to be called Saigon. And you would have very few friends there and certainly no family. That would be the absolute ideal way of avoiding an argument...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: I have an aunt in Ho Chi Minh City!

DN: The point is she’s not related to me!

NP: So you’ve answered his challenge Derek, but give Peter a bonus point. Nine seconds available Derek, how to avoid a family argument on Christmas Day starting now.

DN: Then I would stay in my bed the whole of the day, right the way through...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Repetition of day.

NP: Yes...

SF: It’s on the card.

NP: Christmas Day is on the card...

SF: Wake up Nicholas! You nearly gave it to him!

NP: Derek, another incorrect challenge, another point to you, five seconds still available, how to avoid a family argument on Christmas Day starting now.

DN: If you don’t speak at all then nobody can have any kind of row with you, particularly if you are at home...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round Derek Nimmo got the point for speaking as the whistle went. It’s very even actually, there’s only about one point separating all of them but Peter Jones is just in the lead. Derek your turn to begin. Keeping the Christmas theme going, how Father Christmas gets down the chimney is the subject, Just A Minute starting now.

DN: How Father Christmas gets down the chimney? With difficulty I would say. It is one of the great puzzlements that he always does it. So kind, after weeks and... days of tremendous...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: There was a hesitation.

NP: There was a hesitation between the weeks and the days, yes I agree Peter. Forty-nine seconds, how Father Christmas gets down the chimney starting now.

PJ: Really quite easily. Because anybody who can get four reindeer on to the roof will have no problem getting down the chimney, with or without Difficulty who is one of the leading reindeers...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: It’s the fifth reindeer.

NP: We’ve had some reindeer before.

PJ: Oh did I?

NP: Yes.

PJ: Yes I suppose I did yes.

NP: So Clement you have a repetition challenge and 37 seconds to tell us something about how Father Christmas gets down the chimney starting now.

CF: In a word smoothly. And having gone down the chimney, he then prepares turkey ding which is... what you...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry.

SF: Sorry, I thought he’d stopped there, but he wasn’t, he was carrying on.

NP: No it was hesitation.

SF: It was hesitation, was it? Yes.

NP: Twenty-eight seconds...

CF: You will never know how to make turkey ding! You’ll be sorry!

SF: I will be sorry, won’t I! Though I’ll repeat myself very subtly. I may say your name again twice.

NP: Twenty-eight seconds for you Stephen, how Father Christmas gets down the chimney starting now.

SF: Well in a word perhaps sootily. Unless of course people don’t...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo.

DN: Sootily er.

SF: Ah! Dah! He’s on the case isn’t he!

NP: Yes!

SF: You can’t take it away from him!

NP: Twenty-five seconds...

SF: He’s mean and he’s vicious but he’s right!

NP: ...for you on the subject Derek starting now.

DN: I think it’s very kind of Mohammed Al-Fayed to allow him out for the day when he’s been slaving in Harrids all those months in advance. And I...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: I don’t believe in Al-Fayed!

NP: A bonus point to Clement because we enjoyed the challenge. But he wasn’t actually deviating. So it’s 17 seconds available still for you Derek on the subject starting now.

DN: But thankfully Father Christmas always does get down. And with his jolly face and a great sack of toys, he goes to my stocking and fills it up, puts a mince pie beside it, drinks the glass of sherry which I’ve left for him and then goes up...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Father Christmas doesn’t put the mince pie there. He takes the mince pie if you’re generous enough to give him one! Isn’t that right?

NP: Well I don’t know, I mean there’s...

SHOUTS OF "YES" FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I think the audience want you to win Peter!

PJ: Very nice!

NP: So all right, they’ve decided this audience in their wisdom has decided that it’s, Father Christmas is given a mince pie. He doesn’t leave one. So you’ve got in with two seconds to go on how Father Christmas gets down the chimney Peter starting now.

PJ: Slides down just like a waif...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round Peter Jones is still in the lead. He’s three ahead of Derek Nimmo, and then Clement Freud and Stephen Fry one behind him. Stephen your turn to begin, the subject, the worst Christmas cracker joke. I don’t know if you can remember any of them but please try and talk on the subject, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

SF: I remember one last year. How many ears has Davy Crockett got? Answer, three. The left ear, the right lug, and the frontier which of course is not a repetition of the auricular organ because it’s a single word. Another one which I liked was how do monkeys make toast. The answer to that one is they put it under the griller. While in the jungle, why is there no aspirins there? Because the paracetimol (parrots eat ‘em all). Ah...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: That’s enough!

HUGE APPLAUSE FROM THE CROWD

NP: I’m afraid the audience came in so quickly I didn’t hear what you said Clement. I would love to know what it was.

SF: He just said enough!

NP: Enough? Oh no, give him a bonus point for a good challenge but er...

DN: Nicholas, if you can’t hear as well as everything else... you really ought to retire!

LAUGHTER FROM THE CROWD

NP: Stephen Fry...

SF: Yes?

NP: You’ve got a point for an incorrect challenge, Clement got one, a bonus point because the audience enjoyed his challenge which I couldn’t hear and there are 30 seconds left on the worst Christmas cracker joke starting now.

SF: I suppose the worst Christmas cracker joke would be to have Frank Carson point at the cracker on your plate and go "hey that’s a cracker".

LAUGHTER FROM THE CROWD

SF: There are others...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: No!

CF: He was...

NP: Twenty-three seconds...

CF: He was riding a laugh!

NP: Yes! The worst Christmas cracker joke starting now.

SF: There was one which said I won’t say it was a small town but the speed limit signs were back to... reverse. (laughs) Oh that doesn’t make any sense!

BUZZ

SF: I would have had to repeat back! How terribly unfortunate!

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: Yes! Peter, 16 seconds for you to tell us the worst Christmas cracker joke starting now.

PJ: Vicar at the village concert: "Miss Brown will now sing when I am in my little bed accompanied by the Curate."

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Yes Clement.

PJ: Well no, I just stopped!

NP: You, you waited for your laugh and you got it! Clement, seven seconds, tell us the worst Christmas cracker joke starting now.

CF: It’s no good going to bed early to save candles if the result is twins, could be just about...

WHISTLE

NP: Clement Freud speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. Clement your turn to begin, the subject is Twelfth Night. Will you tell us something about that in this game starting now.

CF: Twelfth Night is er...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Stephen?

SF: A bit of hesitation.

CF: A bit early! A bit early!

SF: It was early! I’m sorry, was that cruel?

NP: It was cruel but it was correct.

SF: Oh I didn’t mean to be cruel!

NP: No, no, no...

SF: This is the season of goodwill!

NP: No, no, no....

SF: I’ll give it back to you after a bit.

NP: No, no, he’s been very tough with you.

CF: Fifty-nine and a half seconds to go!

SF: Yes quite! I won’t last the course, will I!

NP: Fifty-seven and a half seconds, twelfth night Stephen starting now.

SF: Generally known as one of Shakespeare’s festive comedies, subtitled of course what you will, and set in Illyria and starring, if that’s the right word, personnel including Olivia and Viola Tuxton and Andrew Cruickshank and no, that can’t be right... (starts to laugh)

BUZZ

NP: Yes Clement yes.

CF: Repetition of the Ho! Hohoho!

NP: Hohoho. He was laughing at his own joke of Andrew Cruickshank! Forty-eight seconds for you Clement on twelfth night starting now.

CF: January the 6th or the Feast of the Epiphany is what Twelfth Night is about. But also as my friend and colleague on my right said so very properly a Shakespeare play written in 1601 starring...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Fry.

SF: I didn’t say properly that it was a Shakespeare play written in 1601. He ran the sentence on! I didn’t hear any punctuation in his speech there of my friend. I mean admittedly um Clement is not er...

NP: No, no, I think you’ve made your point.

SF: Yeah.

NP: I think it was a very subtle challenge but it is correct.

SF: Good.

NP: Stephen you have the subject, 34 seconds, twelfth night starting now.

SF: I’m grateful to Sir Clement for the intelligence that Twelfth Night was written in 1601 which I was ignorant of, I’m afraid. And I will now hand it back by saying Clement again.

BUZZ

NP: A new way of playing Just A Minute! They sit together and they hand it back and forth between each other! Twenty-six seconds for you Clement on twelfth night starting now.

CF: I think Malvolio is a part that might have been written for Stephen Fry. It is in many ways the ideal role for an actor of his size and sensibility. The twins on the other hand should not be played by Peter Jones and Derek Nimmo, because only one of them was male. The other called Viola who had this attachment to the Duke should I think on all accounts be... performed...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones got in.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: Yes on the performed. And you got in with a second to go Peter on twelfth night starting now.

PJ: It’s the night after the 11th!

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round Peter Jones was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. And at the end of this special Christmas edition of Just A Minute, we have a very interesting result. We have three people equal in second place, that is Stephen Fry, Clement Freud and Derek Nimmo. But three points ahead of them was our winner Peter Jones! It only remains for me to say on behalf of our four exciting and talented players of the game, that is Clement Freud, Derek Nimmo, Peter Jones and Stephen Fry, Liz Trott who’s kept the score so well, Ian Messiter for having thought of the game and keeping us in work, Anne Jobson who has directed the show, and from myself also Nicholas Parsons, on behalf of all of us I must wish you a very happy Christmas. From all of us here good-bye!

THEME MUSIC