JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,PJones,SHancock
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, PETER JONES and SHEILA HANCOCK, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 15 December 1976)


THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Sheila Hancock, Peter Jones, Derek Nimmo and Kenneth Williams in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you very much, hello and welcome once again to Just A Minute. And as you just heard from our lovely announcer Sheila Tracey we have welcomed back once again Sheila Hancock to the fourth chair, our guest chair, to do battle with our three regular competitors. And as always Iím going to ask them to speak if they can for Just A Minute on some subject I will give them without hesitation, without repetition and without deviating from the subject on the card. And this week we will begin the show with Kenneth Williams. And Kenneth the subject is trolls. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: Well Jules trolls along to his lattie with a bona ecaf every evening regular. And is a member of the Marine Commando Club at Paddington, the least said about that on this kind of programme the better! But of course, trolls also are fishermen you know. And itís a method described in the OED as a way of netting fish. You actually...

BUZZ

SHEILA HANCOCK: Ooohh!

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SH: Iím sorry, Iím mistaken...

KW: Well thatís very naughty of you, dear! You know I was in full flow there, I, I was throbbing with it, wasnít I!

NP: Well she hasnít been here for a few weeks, sheís...

SH: No, I know...

NP: ... a bit tense, you see.

SH: I got out of the way of it. I heard the word fish and it reminded me of fishermen but it wasnít a repeat so carry on Kenneth.

NP: What an interesting world in which you live!

SH: Yes!

NP: Fish reminds you of fishermen.

SH: Really.

NP: Well thatís very interesting. Anyway it wasnít a correct challenge, in fact it was no challenge at all. But Kenneth was interrupted so he gets a point for that, he keeps the subject and there are 35 seconds left for trolls Kenneth starting now.

KW: In the North Sea, they have to lower this particular kind of gear for getting these already mentioned marine creatures. Hahahaha! You see I...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo.

DEREK NIMMO: Repetition of hahaha.

KW: Oh!

DN: And also repetition of marine, marine...

KW: Good gracious me! I mean it was involuntary, wasnít it! It was involuntary!

NP: Well a lot of things on this programme, the whole thingsí involuntary, because after all nothingís prepared. Yes itís er repetition of ha Derek and Derek you have a correct challenge and 24 seconds for trolls starting now.

DN: Trolls are these frightfully nasty creatures that live in mountains with hob goblins, up in Switzerland and in all the Nordic countries. And I am always terrified when I sail along the Norwegian Fjord in case I might see a tiny troll popping its head out and looking at me from over the nearest rock. Once I did and goodness knows what would have happened to me if I hadnít whirled around three times, put a rabbitís foot...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Derek Nimmo was speaking when the whistle went which is blown by Ian Messiter to tell us that 60 seconds is up. And whoever speaks at that moment gains an extra point. Derek has two at the end of that round, Kenneth has one, and Sheila, Peter Jones and Sheila Hancock have yet to score.

SH: Do you feel like playing Peter?

PETER JONES: Oh yes!

NP: Heís upset! Heís upset! Well Peter you have...

PJ: Iím not upset...

KW KISSES PJ

PJ: God almighty!

LOUD LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I must explain to the listeners that that laugh was because Peter this week is sitting beside Kenneth Williams, and Kenneth tried to cheer him up with a passionate kiss! Heís looking much happier now so weíll get on with the show and Peter will you begin the next round. The subject is getting ready for breakfast. Will you tell us something about that in 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Well...

BUZZ

NP: And you have been challenged! Kenneth Williams?

KW: Hesitation Iím afraid!

NP: Hesitation!

PJ: Rubbish! Absolute rubbish!

NP: What a rotten thing to do! There was er only ah three quarters of a second gone. So Peter you have 59 and one quarter seconds, 59 and one quarter second for getting ready for breakfast starting now.

PJ: The thing to do is to spring out of bed. Now before you do that youíve got to go there in the first place, the night before. Have a good nightís sleep, donít have too much...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged you.

SH: Weíre talking about getting ready for breakfast, not going to bed the night before.

PJ: Well thatís the first thing to do!

NP: Well...

SH: You neednít necessarily have gone to bed the night before in order to get breakfast. Iíve spent many a sleepless night...

PJ: What is the challenge?

SH: Deviation!

PJ: Rubbish!

NP: Because going to bed the night before... itís a good challenge, itís got nothing to do necessarily...

PJ: Itís a good challenge?

NP: ...with getting ready for breakfast.

SH: Exactly!

NP: So Sheila I agree with you, you have a point for that...

KW LAUGHS

DN: Oh youíve upset him you see!

NP: And youíve got 51 seconds for getting ready for breakfast starting now.

SH: Well you get out of bed with a cheerful smile...

BUZZ

NP: Peter, Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Deviation, not necessarily. Not if itís a wedding breakfast.

SH: How do you know?

NP: Well I would have thought your smiles would be even more cheerful on that occasion Derek.

DN: Ah!

NP: So I disagree with your challenge and Sheila has another point and 46 and a half seconds, getting ready for breakfast starting now.

SH: Then you go down and the first thing you do...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: You see she is talking about getting up out of bed which is the challenge that she ah...

SH: Thatís true.

NP: No, you said, she challenged you for going to bed the night before. Thatís got nothing to do with getting ready for breakfast.

PJ: Itís got nothing to do with getting up the morning after?

NP: No, thatís right, no, no, nothing to do with getting ready for breakfast!

PJ: I...

NP: Donít be so argumentative! No, itís got nothing to do with getting ready for breakfast. But getting up in the morning has got something to do with it.

PJ: What you clearly mean is that itís all right if Hancock says it, but if Jones says it, it isnít! Thatís what you mean!

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

PJ: Thank you very much!

SH: Quite right!

NP: Iím confident that the audience were applauding the emotion that you put into that particular remark, and not the content!

PJ: Well Iíve nothing else to offer!

NP: Sheila has another point and 45 seconds for getting ready for breakfast starting now.

SH: The first that I do is put the kettle on so that I can make myself a cup of tea, to give me the strength to prepare myself for the children coming down which is usually a pretty traumatic thing. Because Joanna needs her bottle, and Ellie Jane is screaming about not having done her homework the night before. Usually I have to settle and see...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones.

PJ: Is the childís homework the night before?

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

SH: No! No!

PJ: Is it to do with it?

SH: But Iím checking it over breakfast!

NP: Yeah thatís a difficult one. Sheís getting ready for breakfast...

PJ: Yes yes! Quite! I think it was a ridiculous challenge! And I think you should give her another point!

SH: And I donít...

PJ: And ask her to go on!

SH: I donít think we really need Nick here at all, do you?

PJ: No!

NP: Donít rub that in too much! They might, the BBC might take it to heart. Theyíre looking for economies all the time.

PJ: Theyíre making them as far as Iím concerned!

NP: Sheila, 24 seconds for getting ready for breakfast starting now.

SH: Whoís got it?

NP: You have.

SH: Oh!

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo...

PJ: Hesitation!

DN: Deviation, whoís got it has got nothing to do with getting breakfast.

NP: Derek Nimmo has a point and there are 23 seconds for getting ready for breakfast starting now.

DN: I lie in bed and ring my bell. And then a minion arrives with a lovely silver tray, upon which are some crumpets. And now I am getting ready to have my breakfast. I lift my knife in one hand, the butter in the other, squeeze it together and slosh it down on the lovely piece of confection that I was talking about. And then I begin to nibble. I know itís now the moment that I can break my fast. The day has begun...

WHISTLE

NP: So Derek Nimmo speaking as the whistle went gained the extra point. Sheila Hancock got a lot of points in that round and together they are equal in the lead at the end of the round. And Derek Nimmo would you begin the next round, the subject is mistakes. Some of which you make and others of which you will not admit. But will you talk about them in Just A Minute starting now.

DN: Miss Veronica Paget Stakes lives near Frampton Court in Gloucestershire. The middle name was because her distinguished predecessor or ancestor as I suppose I should call her, was the famous Marquis of Anglesey who fought in the Battle of Waterloo. And Miss Stakes has been living for a long time in this western county and very seldom these days comes...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones.

PJ: Living, he repeated living.

NP: Yes yes you did have living before Derek. And so Peter has got a correct challenge and there are 36 seconds for mistakes starting now.

PJ: Mistakes are really better brought out into the open and given an airing. Make a full confession, admission and give every detail of what youíve done wrong. And then whether it be to the tax inspector, the Metropolitan Police, or the BBC, whatever it is...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged you.

DN: Repetition of BB.

PJ: Rubbish!

NP: The B Broadcasting Corporation, yes! Um Derek, two Bs so there are now 18 no 19 seconds for mistakes starting now.

DN: Mistakes should be carefully concealed particularly from the British Broadcasting Corporation, the Inland Revenue, and anybody else who might be inquiring into oneís mistakes. The more furtive, deceptive and unpleasant one can be, the less likely it is...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged you.

SH: Deviation. This programme is being listened to by a lot of people and I donít want him corrupting the nation.

NP: Well he just corrupts the nation all the time! But no, it is, it is a very devious idea, and a very devious thought. And so there are four and a half seconds for you Sheila...

DN: Who is it?

NP: Mmmm?

SH: He wasnít deviating.

DN: Heís going to...

SH: He wasnít deviating from the point.

DN: I wasnít deviating from the point.

NP: Youíre quite correct. Derek Iím sorry, I take it all back, you werenít deviating from the subject...

PJ: You made a mistake!

NP: No...

PJ: A mistake!

SH: Do I...

NP: No, I have made a mistake, Iím doing what Peter Jones said. Make an open confession, an open admission of it in public! I made a mistake, yes. That was not deviating from the subject though he was deviating. So he doesnít lose it and he continues for four and a half seconds starting now.

DN: What I admire about Nicholas Parsons is he is a man who always admits to his own mistakes! What a noble gallant fellow the chap is!

WHISTLE

NP: So Derek was again speaking when the whistle went and gained more points and heís increased his lead. Sheila Hancock will you begin the next round, the subject, porpoises. Will you tell us something...

SH: Porpoises?

NP: Porpoises! Yes thatís a nasty one, isnít it. And you have Just A Minute to talk about it starting now.

SH: (in American accent) Well most Americans have great purposes (pronouncing it porpoises) in life. Usually to keep themselves young and try hard to improve their social status and not be overcome by the things surrounding them in the United States. There are some fishes which are part of the whale family...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Theyíre not fish. Theyíre mammals.

NP: Yes they are mammals indeed. Forty seconds for you Derek on porpoises starting now.

DN: As most cat lovers know, there are many poor pusses around today. And those are, I do feel we could be particularly kind and leave a little bowl of milk when one goes out in the morning. But of course if one is talking about porpoises the mammal, what fascinating creatures they are. When one is sailing across an ocean and one sees a school of porpoises following one...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Well there were three ones. One sees and one imagines and all these ones. There were three ones.

NP: Yes, there were three ones...

KW: One too many ones.

DN: Absolutely right. Well listened.

KW: I would have liked him to go on but I couldnít help hearing...

DN: Well listened Ken!

KW: Iíve got to play the game! Iím pretty tough at this kind of thing Iím afraid. I must pick you up on these matters.

NP: Kenneth save it all for the game! Because you have 21 seconds to talk on porpoises starting now.

KW: Well theyíre lovely! And you can get them in aquariums where theyíre trained to do these marvellous tricks with bananas. They shove them up at the end of their noses and they remind me...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: They donít do tricks with bananas! Theyíre fish eating mammals! They wouldnít eat a banana if you offered them one.

NP: Well it doesnít...

PJ: He said they were trained to do it. Youíd have to train them pretty hard!

SH: They probably balance them on their nose. They probably donít eat them.

NP: Well I honestly do think itís not much use having a chairman. Theyíre all explaining it individually, and the whole of the panel have explained to Derek Nimmo why his challenge was wrong. So Kenneth Williams continues for 13 seconds on porpoises starting now.

KW: I have evidence as to the training of these creatures from a woman who is called Maudie Fittleworth who did things with a frankfurter herself. And is known in the business, not only for...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

KW: Whoís challenged me now?

NP: Sheila! Sheila Hancock has challenged you.

SH: Itís me again!

KW: What is it?

SH: The subject is porpoises, not Maudie Littleworth or whatever her name was.

DN: Fittleworth! She does things with a frankfurter, sheís been doing it for years!

SH: We donít want to know about it anyway. Itís rude!

NP: Maudie Fittleworth and her frankfurter has been introduced by you more times in Just A Minute in 10 years than...

KW: She exfoliated before the blowpipe! She created history! She was the most incredible! She topped the bill twice at Huddersfield!

NP: And what has she got to do with porpoises?

KW: Well she was involved in the aquarium training of these things.

NP: No!

KW: She used to dive in with them just to give them a bit of encouragement!

NP: With her frankfurter alight, I suppose?

KW: Yes! Yes!

NP: Right, Sheila Hancock has a correct challenge and there are two and a half seconds Sheila for porpoises starting now.

SH: They leap up into the air out of...

WHISTLE

NP: Well at the end of that round Sheila gained, Sheila Hancock gained the extra point for speaking when the whistle went. Derek Nimmoís still in the lead, two ahead of Sheila Hancock. Kenneth Williams is in third place and Peter Jones one behind him in fourth place. And Kenneth weíre back with you to start. The subject that Ian Messiter has thought of is Eugene Henri Paul Gaugin. Will you tell us something about him in Just A Minute starting now.

KW: Well heís a postimpressionist. Astonished his own family by giving up his stockbroking business which had seemed to be reasonably successful as a career. And he went off to Martinique. And then he came back and founded a colony at Pontdegon where he encouraged people to paint in the tradition of which he approved. It was reflecting the direct and almost childlike emotions of a native people, as opposed to the over-civilised which he didnít care for at all. Now he tried to do himself in with arsenical poisoning. They rushed him to this local hospital and applied this pump to the stomach and of course he was...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Repetition of of course.

KW: Well it was getting interesting!

NP: I think he was going, you were going...

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: And the audience feel the same Kenneth, you were going magnificently on an interesting subject. But you had him up for his ones, so heís got you on your of course so I must give it to him and tell him he has 10 seconds for Eugene...

KW: Ten seconds! Do you notice that? heís going to get in on 10 seconds! Anyone can fill in in 10 rotten seconds, canít they! Do you think thatís fair on me, an old trooper? Do you think thatís fair, Peter?

PJ: No, no! I mean...

KW KISSES PJ AT LENGTH

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Listen! Kenneth! You leave the romancing until after the programmeís over! Leave poor Peter Jones alone!

SH: (squeaking through the laughter) Oh dear!

NP: We come to Derek Nimmo for Eugene Henri paul Gaugin and 10 seconds left starting now.

DN: When he went to Tahiti, he hoped to find there the sincerity, the noble savage...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock.

SH: Hesitation.

NP: I agree Sheila and you have five... you see he was interrupted, only five seconds.

DN: Yes.

NP: Five seconds with you on the subject Sheila starting now.

SH: In the Gallery Jíte Pou in Paris, there are some Gaugin paintings that are quite breathtaking...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Sheila Hancock and Derek Nimmo are battling it out for firth er firth, first place still. It gets you very infantile, this game. Sometimes I sound all lisping! For first place and Peter Jones and Kenneth Williams are battling it out for last place! And Peter Jones weíre back...

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Weíre back with you to start, the subject is banks. Will you tell us something about that in Just a Minute starting now.

PJ: Banks from my own observation are notoriously understaffed. They only have one person at one of the windows...

BUZZ

NP: Oh dear! Kenneth Williams challenged.

KW: Two ones.

NP: Yes, one person at one window, one of the windows sorry.

SH: Youíre not really on form today Peter, are you all right?

PJ: I donít think anyone would have noticed if you hadnít mentioned that!

SH: Every time I come back to this programme, everybodyís got a bit madder and it worries me!

PJ: Well Iím often worse when youíre not here!

NP: Let Peter indulge his lugubrious manner of the moment and...

KW: I won the challenge!

NP: I know! youíve got a point and you have 51 and a half seconds for banks starting now.

KW: Yon bonnie banks and by yon bonnie...

BUZZ

KW: Oh! Who challenged?

NP: Derek Nimmo.

KW: Yes, wouldnít he just?

DN: Yonnie, yonnie!

NP: Forty-eight seconds for that yon, no, 48 seconds are left for you to talk on banks Derek starting now.

DN: I give all my money to Halls. They are a very famous bank, situated in Waterloo Place and started some 300 years ago. Sir John...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: Deviation, he doesnít give it. He may deposit it, he may lend it, but he certainly doesnít give it!

NP: Yes! Good challenge...

KW: Iím so clever, arenít I, though?

NP: Kenneth...

KW: I get in there! Yes?

NP: Stop showing off! Otherwise you might ruin your chances when you start to speak now on banks with 39 seconds left starting now.

KW: These are the people who in the old days issued promissory notes so that you didnít have to lug around precious metal which ruined the linings of your pocket. Now of course if you had the goatskin on, it wasnít so bad because that last considerably longer than say crepe dusheen or shot silk. Now youíre going to look very silly when your shot silk with a load of gold weigh...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SH: Shot silk, shot silk.

NP: Yes you overshot your silk mate, Iím sorry! There are 16 seconds for you Sheila on banks starting now.

SH: I simply love river banks. When the grass goes down to the edge of the Thames and you see on them, dangling your feet in the cool water, looking at the fishes gliding below you, perhaps endeavouring to have a little paddle...

WHISTLE

KW: Oh!

NP: Well they...

KW: The sheer poetry of that!

NP: Yes!

KW: What a load of old rubbish it was!

NP: But it got her extra points... (clears throat) Excuse me but I really have got all that frog spawn from Sheilaís river in my throat. Anyway Sheilaís kept going magnificently. And though she doesnít play as often as the others, sheís only one point behind our leader now whoís still Derek Nimmo. And Derek itís your turn to begin. The subject is my hot water bottle. You have 60 seconds to talk about it starting now.

DN: Well when I go to bed at night, I take my little hot water bottle, hottie I call it, isnít that a jolly name. My little hot water bottle and I fill it up with warm liquid. And very hot actually but I can say that because itís on the card...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SH: Deviation, if itís warm, itís not very hot. Is it?

DN: It canít be cold, can it?

NP: He said he fills it up with warm liquid, very hot actually.

SH: Yes, well thatís deviation.

DN: I was just saying the degree of warmth.

SH: All right then! Go on!

NP: I donít know, I think Iíll put it to the audience. If you...

SH: No, no, let him have it! Let him have it!

NP: Iím going to put it to the audience. If you think that Derek was deviating, will you cheer for Sheila. And if not will you boo for Derek Nimmo and all do it together now.

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: What a half hearted lot you are! There was seven cheers, gave you the benefit of the doubt Sheila.

SH: Oh!

NP: Because I let them be the final arbiters on a difficult decision. And there are 46 seconds for my hot water bottle starting now.

SH: I thought perhaps that Derek was going to say he used it to warm his crumpets on but...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Yes I challenged on deviation. Thatís the most disgraceful remark!

NP: Heís established that when he had breakfast he had crumpets for breakfast.

KW: The subject is my hot water bottle and she has not been discussing that at all. Itís deviation.

NP: No she didnít, she said that she was afraid that Derek Nimmo might say...

KW: That is not the subject!

SH: Thatís not my hot water bottle, itís Derekís.

KW: Precisely!

SH: We donít have the same hot water bottle.

KW: Precisely!

SH: Youíre quite right Kenneth!

NP: Itís not her hot water bottle, itís Derekís hot water bottle. That was your challenge. Why didnít you make it clear?

KW: Oh I thought I did.

NP: No.

KW: Oh.

NP: Now you have made it clear, Iíll give you a point and tell you you have 43 seconds for my hot water bottle starting now.

KW: My hot water bottle once got filled by a naughty person with a load of coca cola. And I didnít know this was in it you see. And there was this terrible hiss and a terrible bang went off, in this tent, you see...

BUZZ

KW: I was in this bell tent with these cubs...

NP: Sheila Hancock challenged.

KW: Frightfully funny! What?

NP: Sheila challenged you.

SH: Terrible, terrible.

NP: There were two terribles Iím afraid Kenneth.

KW: Oh what a shame!

NP: Itís a terrible shame. Thirty seconds are left for my hot water bottle Sheila starting now.

SH: Actually my hot water bottle is my husband, and very nice too. Much better than any old rubber thing or anything like that. However before I met him, I did used to have one that I quite liked because itís lovely to put your feet on something warm and welcoming when you get into bed. Actually I vividly remember during the war having a stone hot water bottle that we used to take down the Anderson shelter and I regard that with enormous affection...

WHISTLE

NP: Sheila with her last thoughts, taking us back to her very early childhood.

SH: Yes!

NP: Sheila weíre back with you to start. The subject is blows.

SH: Eh?

NP: Blows, you know, punches, or blows (makes blowing sound). You know. The wind and all that. And there are 60 seconds to talk about it as usual starting now.

SH: There she blows, I believe, is a phrase that means a train or a ship is about to start. You can blow when you purse your lips together and exhale air from...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams.

KW: You canít purse them together and blow. Because theyíre closed. Sheís mad!

SH: No! Thereís always a little hole. You couldnít purse yours...

KW: You said purse them together! Thatís what you said! Out of your own mouth! Out of your own mouth youíve condemned yourself!

SH: Even...

KW: Leave the stage! Thank you!

SH: Even you...

NP: Kenneth! Kenneth! Sheís quite right! Let her explain what she was going to say.

SH: Even you pursing your lips together thereís a tiny hole in the middle.

KW: Ooohhh!

SH: Out of which you blow something.

NP: Youíd blow.

KW: Youíre revealing intimate knowledge which should not be bruited abroad.

NP: No, you have to blow. I mean you could even shut your lips and blow but no air would get out would it.

KW: Mmmmm, I wish youíd shut yours, I can tell you!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

KW: No, I donít mean it really! Heís ever so nice!

NP: What do you mean, the audience clapped! I think theyíre absolutely rotten!

KW: No heís very nice.

NP: Listen I can assure you all in the audience who clapped, if I wasnít sitting up here theyíd be fighting each other with blows!

SH: Youíre right yes.

NP: And thatís the subject...

KW: Youíre all right under the skin.

NP: Whatís it like on top of the skin? Right there are 50 seconds for blows with you Sheila starting now.

SH: As Nicholas quite rightly said, very often we nearly come to blows on this programme. But because of our estimable chairman, he keeps us under control, and we actually donít have fisticuffs but just words. However another sound that I like very much is the wind when it blows in the trees. With all the pop music and trains and aeroplanes, you very seldom have...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Repetition of trains. Trains was blowing earlier, right at the beginning.

SH: Ah youíre right, yes. Well listened and there are 26 seconds for you Derek on blows starting now.

DN: My goodness, I was in Las Vegas the other day. And there I saw Joe Bugner practising in the ring, sliding away with wonderful blows against this punch bag which he had erected in the left hand corner so as you understand the picture. But I do agree with Sheila you know. How interesting it can be on a cold autumn night to hear the wind blowing through the beech trees as they gently flutter to the ground and the church steeple...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock.

SH: The beech trees donít flutter to the ground!

NP: No, the leaves!

SH: The leaves do!

NP: So Sheila Hancock has got in with only two and a half minutes to go on the subject of...

DN: Two and a half minutes?

NP: Well you could have it for two and a half minutes if you wanted. I made another of my mistakes. I admit it openly and freely and I abase myself before you all here. And you couldnít care less so Iíll carry on with the game. Two and a half seconds, Sheila, on blows starting now.

SH: Mind you elm trees do flutter to the ground...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: Derek got in before that.

DN: Repetition of trees.

SH: You, I didnít say it.

NP: Yes you did, you talked about the trees earlier on.

SH: True! Oh youíre cunning! Youíre cunning!

NP: And half a second on blows with you Derek starting now.

DN: Blow winds and crack your cheeks...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Iím afraid we have no more time to play Just A Minute this week and in spite of that last bit of keen listening by Derek Nimmo he didnít quite catch up with our guest who came back after an absence of some weeks to triumph once again. But let me tell you first of all that Peter Jones, who didnít start off with the best of spirits, but contributed his usual quality to the show did come in fourth place. And Kenneth Williams who contributed more than his usual effervescence came in third place. Derek Nimmo contributed even more of his usual brain power and verbal wit. And Sheila Hancock contributed absolutely everything including her own personal charm and triumphed over these three tough fellows without coming to any blows and finished up our winner this week. It only remains for me to say that I hope youíve enjoyed the show as much as we have enjoyed playing it, and that youíll want to tune in again at the same time next week when once again four panellists and myself trying to keep order will take to the air and play Just A Minute. Till then from all of us here good-bye.

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Browell.

THEME MUSIC