JAM:LSmith,GBrandreth,IBlair,GWilmot
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring LINDA SMITH, GYLES BRANDRETH, ISLA BLAIR and GARY WILMOT, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Television, 21 April 1999)

NOTE: Isla Blair's first appearance, Gary Wilmot's first appearance, Linda Smith's first television appearance, Gyles Brandreth's first television appearance.


THEME MUSIC

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Hello and welcome to Just A Minute and once again it is my pleasure to welcome four delightful guests who are going to take part today in this fun-filled entertainment we call Just A Minute. Let us welcome first of all that wonderful delightful comedienne Linda Smith. And beside her the all-singing all-dancing Gary Wilmot. And on my left that very talented and distinguished actress Isla Blair. And beside her a broadcaster and writer, Gyles Brandreth. Please welcome all four of them! And as usual I am going to ask my guests to speak on a subject I will give them, and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Theyíre all on the cards in front of me and weíre going to begin the show today with Linda Smith and who better? Linda, the subject, oh a lovely one, shrinking violet. Can you tell us something about shrinking violet in this game starting now.

LINDA SMITH: Shrinking violet, she sounds to me like some rather quaint English comic book super-heroine. By day an elderly librarian. But by night with one swig of sweet sherry and she becomes the incredible Shrinking Violet! Squeezing like a tiny mouse through the mesh of Post Office counters and solving postal order crimes thatís never been solved before...

BUZZ

NP: And whoís challenged?

GYLES BRANDRETH: That was brilliant!

NP: Yes!

LS: That was very kind to interrupt me!

NP: She went 22 seconds...

GB: I sensed a creeping hesitation, gradually overwhelming, it was otherwise...

NP: Yes...

GB: ...a bus-turning performance!

NP: We interpret that as hesitation Gyles. And So Gyles Brandreth has a correct challenge, he gets a point for that, he takes over the subject and there are 38 seconds available Gyles starting now.

GB: I am a personal friend of that delightful actress, Bonnie Langford, whose performance as Violet Elizabeth Bott many felt should have been shrunk if not drowned at birth. This is a great slur on this wonderful artiste because indeed the performance she gave as the shrinking Violet was remarkable. To have seen Lady Violet Bonham-Carter or indeed Violet Trefussis who was a writer in the 1930s as one of those shrinking VIolets whose letters were written on violet coloured note paper. She was a friend of Virginia Woof and together they got up to the sort of things that at lunchtime we donít wish to hear about. More sort of Channel Four than BBC I have to tell you...

WHISTLE

NP: Well done! Well done Gyles, yes! Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Gyles Brandreth who kept going on shrinking violet for 38 seconds. Thatís a fine achievement Gyles, itís a tough game, you know, this. And by the way they can repeat not only the word on the card but the words independently if itís a phrase like shrinking violet. So at the end of the round you wonít be surprised to discover that Gyles Brandreth has a lead over all the others. In fact heís the only one to get any points. Gary Wilmot, please take the next round, the subject, Lloyds. Take it anyway you like, 60 seconds starting now.

GARY WILMOT: There are many different kinds of Lloyds. Indeed thereís Harold Lloyd that wonderful actor who was one of the highest paid comedy performers in the movies back in the 20s. There are other Lloyds as well in er, thereís Lloyds...

BUZZ

NP: Linda challenged.

LS: That was just a mercy challenge!

NP: Was it? You were struggling a little there, yeah. Well Gary hasnít played it quite as much as you Linda but he did jolly well. He started and he kept going for, well, he kept going for a little while. Linda there are 46 seconds available, you get a point for a correct challenge and it is Lloyds starting now.

LS: Of course Lloyds is also short for the Cockney rhyming slang Emily Lloyds. As in Nicholas saying to me ďoh my Emily Lloyds are playing up a bit todayĒ...

BUZZ

GB: Yes it was terribly droll but a repetition, Emily.

NP: Iím afraid so, yes. To get your gags over, the trouble is in comedy you often repeat for emphasis, but it doesnít work in Just A Minute. Gyles another correct challenge, a point to you, 36 seconds on Lloyds starting now.

GB: I remember Prince Philip once saying to me that name dropping is very vulgar and should be avoided, Gyles. But I must tell you about Lord Lloyd who tried to men d the electric light. It struck him dead and serve him right. It is the business of the wealthy man to give employment to the artisan. Now he was a Lloyd from the aristocracy whereas Hugh Lloyd at the other end of the scale is a little man with a big talent who comes from the beautiful city of Chester. I also of course admire, as well as Harold Lloyd, Selwyn Lloyd, Chancellor of the Exchequer in the 1950s and successor to so many other distinguished people who have held that office...

WHISTLE

NP: So! Itís success time for Gyles Brandreth isnít it.

GB: I knew heíd be good at this! I just knew it!

GB: Peaking early! Peaking early!

GW: I only knew one Lloyd and that was Harold Lloyd and I was over!

NP: Well you did very well with him...

GW: What chance have I got?

NP: Youíll get your chance later, donít worry Gary. Let us go now to Isla Blair and how lovely to hear from you now Isla at last.

ISLA BLAIR: At last!

NP: Dear old friends, thatís a lovely subject. Talk on it if you can in 60 seconds starting now.

IB: Iíve got some dear old friends that live in my wardrobe. Warm snugly jumpers, slinky dresses that I canít possibly get into, theyíre so old. A particular favourite of the dear old friends is a black buttonless jacket thatís beautifully cut. But Iíve had it such a long time that thereís a hole in the arm and itís got frayed cuffs. Other dear old friends are at the bottom of my cupboard. Sandals, shoes, boots that I bought for five pounds in a market in Birmingham. For some reason, two furry dear old friends, my cats Sasha and Soo-Lee like to sleep on these items of footwear which I find very bewildering because it must be so uncomfortable. Other dear old friends can also be people. Men and women youíve known all your life and ah who take you for all your faults and foibles and forgive you just about everything. Itís lovely on winter evenings sitting round a fire with a glass of wine, reminiscing and shouting with great nostalgia and love for... Iíve done everything! Help me somebody!

NP: No, they donít want to help you!

GB: We donít want to help you! You were brilliant!

NP: Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle! You went for...

WHISTLE

NP: That whistle was actually late by my clock in front of me. Yes you went for 57 seconds.

GB: Oh I canít believe it!

IB: Did I really?

GB: Thatís terrible!

NP: So they were very generous and let you have the other three seconds.

GB: Yeah have the bonus!

IB: Thank you very much!

GB: Yeah absolutely!

NP: I say, to come on the show with such little practice at the game, oh, that was really great! And er not only does she get a point for speaking when the whistle should have gone, but also she gets a bonus point for not being interrupted. So you have two points, what a lot of hard work for two points. Gyles weíre with you to start, ah, and itís, the subject is censorship. Iím sure youíll know something about that, from the days when you were in the House, you would speak on the subject. Talk in Just A Minute on censorship if you can starting now.

GB: I happen to know a great deal about censorship, because 25 years ago I was for a brief while, a member of Lord Longfordís team investigating pornography. The noble Earl set up a commission and I still have the raincoat I bought at the time to inquire into these sordid matters. On this group there was, as well as him, a bishop, an archbishop, a rabbi, Malcolm Muggeridge and Cliff Richard, just to mention the younger people who were involved. We went over to Copenhagen in order to see censorship at first hand and were very shocked by what we discovered. Because there censorship does not exist. Anything goes! And I have to say that I saw the belted nobleman embrace a totally naked woman and not notice it. She was unclothed but his high mind was on higher more spiritual matters. And I have to say that censorship therefore is in the eye of the beholder. So if you are a clean living wholesome type then it wonít upset you. But if you are in fact a closet dirty old man, Iím looking at you Nicholas, but not thinking about you, then censorship for you is necessary. Of course...

WHISTLE

NP: Well that rarely happens in Just A Minute. Two complete rounds in one show.

GB: What a team!

NP: And not only that, in succession!

GB: What a team!

NP: Well my goodness me. And Gyles Brandreth, not only speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, but also a bonus point for not being interrupted. Gyles you increased your lead at the end of the round. Back with Linda Smith, can you go for 60 seconds now and make it...

LS: I very much doubt it!

NP: Right, geisha girls. Thereís something exciting to talk about Linda, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

LS: Geisha girls, well, geisha girls are basically an ancient Japanese version of the Spice Girls. But rather different to these particular girls of whom I speak, they can actually play instruments and sing a bit. Now, instead of being called things like Posh and Scary and Sporty and Baby, geishas are called things like Makes-A-Nice-Cup-Of-Tea, and Sits-On-A -Rug-And-Wears-A-Kimono, and Has-Knitting-Needles-In-Her-Hair. That sort of thing, much more appealing I think. And geisha girls often give the wrong impression to the world. A lot of Western businessmen think ďoh hello, weíre on tonight with geisha girls!Ē But all they get is a cup of tea and it costs them 500 pounds. They must be very disappointed...

BUZZ

NP: Oh! You almost got there!

GB: Hard luck!

NP: You went for 37 seconds. And what was your challenge Gyles?

GB: Well it was a repetition of cup of tea.

NP: Oh the cup of tea, yes, there was too many cups.

GB: And it was also if I may so a slur on the wonderful Spice Girls, the most charming, you know. They are wonderful, they are beautiful, they are brilliant!

LS: if you say so Gyles.

GB: I do, yes.

NP: This audience didnít, they had a very strange reaction to your compliment about the Spice Girls.

GB: Mixed feelings, I know, but thatís because some of them are against David Beckham!

NP: Right so correct challenge Gyles and you have the subject of geisha girls and there are 23 seconds available starting now.

GB: Sex...

BUZZ

NP: Well challenged, yes! Hesitation?

IB: I thought there was an intake of breath which was a hesitation.

NP: There was an intake of breath...

GB: In order to speak these days Iím breathing!

NP: Gyles, you know, in Just A Minute if you breathe for two seconds...

GB: I have to tell you that when Isla Blair is nearby, heavy breathing is par for the course!

NP: I can understand that! But there we are! But yes well listened, it was a full two seconds he didnít speak which is very unusual for Gyles. Iíve known him fill every two seconds of most peopleís time. Isla you have the subject of geisha girls, you have a point of course for a correct challenge, you have 21 seconds starting now.

IB: There was a subject in the paper, geisha girls, when they were actually tables for sushi. They lay there absolutely naked and these businessmen were required to eat of them. They couldnít, they had to shower before...

BUZZ

NP: Gary?

GW: Oh a hesitation I thought.

NP: There was, yes.

IB: Yes.

NP: No wonder after eating off the naked bodies of the geisha girls! I was trembling actually! Gary nice to hear from you, youíve got a correct challenge, youíve got a point for that, youíve got geisha girls, keep going for eight seconds starting now.

GW: I personally think that one of the nicest things about geisha girls is the wonderful regalia they wear with that huge cummerbund around the middle of their waist...

WHISTLE

GW: Oh!

NP: Yes! Gary Wilmot was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. Heís equal with Isla Blair in second place. Theyíre just leading Linda Smith, but theyíre both trailing Gyles Brandreth. And Gary your turn to begin, the subject is singing in the rain. Iím sure Ian Messiterís thought of that specially for you. Iím sure youíve sung it in your show stopper shows, havenít you?

GW: Ah, no!

NP: Why did you pause so long when you said no?

GW: Ah...

NP: Have you done Singing In The Rain?

GW: No I havenít done Singing In The Rain. I would love to do the musical, but I, I canít tap-dance that well. I can do a little bit but I canít, canít tap-dance. Certainly Iím no Gene Kelly.

NP: No but you can sing as well as Gene Kelly.

GW: Oh thank you very much.

NP: And you can sing better than most. And singing in the rain is the subject, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

GW: Most people in this country want glorious sunshine every day. But when I wake up in the morning, I open my curtains and I look out, Iím really pleased if I can see nothing but rain. Because I put on my very best raincoat, I dash out into the road and I start singing and dancing, splashing up and down in the puddles, just like Gene Kelly in that glorious movie Singing In The Rain. Of course when you do think of Singing In The Rain, very often you could think of Morecambe and Wise who did that wonderful pastiche of that...

BUZZ

NP: And you challenged Isla.

GW: Wonderful.

IB: Repetition of wonderful.

NP: Yes you had too much wonderful.

GW: But it was wonderful.

NP: Yes and you kept going for 26 seconds but Isla got in, there are 34 available, singing in the rain, Isla starting now.

IB: I like singing in the rain, especially with thunderstorms. Lightning flashing everywhere, and beautiful large drops of liquid falling on your face. The only problem about it is when thereís a lot of rain about, you look on the ground and lo and behold, the earth is moving. Worms, hate them, canít stand the creatures. But they, I donít know whether theyíre coming out because they hear me singing in the rain. Or of in fact they just um wanted...

BUZZ

NP: Oh itís a tough game isnít it.

IB: It is! It is! Hesitation, nine seconds, another point to you and nine seconds, singing in the rain, starting now.

GB: Iíve been...

BUZZ

GB: Ah excuse me! Excuse me! I will take it from Isla because she is beautiful, sensual, and an erotic frenzy in a black frock! But from over there, Iím sorry!

LS: Oooohh!

NP: Oooohh!

LS: That was charming, wasnít it!

GB: Oh was it Linda? Iím sorry!

NP: It was Linda! You thought it was Gary!

GB: I thought it was Gary! Iím so sorry!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

GB: No, no, I misunderstood!

NP: Linda come back!

LS: Iíve never been so insulted in my life!

GB: Iím so sorry!

NP: I agree about the hesitation. Gyles does take a long time to get his breath together. And...

LS: Can you remind me of the subject? Iíve forgotten it!

NP: I always remind everybody of the subject before they start. Right, there are um, oh youíve got only seven seconds, singing in the rain starting now.

BUZZ

LS: Singing in the rain, sorry!

NP: Who just challenged...

LS: I interrupted myself. Do I get an extra point?

NP: Thatís a... sheís actually... no, no, she actually challenged herself, and also Linda it was a correct challenge. So...

GB: No actually I challenged her, but Iím psychic!

NP: so if you challenge yourself... I hope youíre not going to make a regular thing of this,l and itís a correct challenge, Iíve got to give you a point for it. Yes you did hesitate Linda, so a point for that, youíve actually got another point for hesitating...

LS: About a second to go now.

NP: No, no, only youíve got five and a half seconds available, singing in the rain with you starting now.

LS: Singing In The Rain, a marvellous and seminal motion picture which involved Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds and...

WHISTLE

NP: So Linda Smith was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. Sheís moved forward, sheís now equal with Isla Blair who begins the next round. Isla the subject is big deal. Can you tell us something on that subject in this game starting now.

IB: You may think that coming on to Just A Minute to talk for 60 seconds is no big deal, but Iíd have to tell you, you are wrong. People often wonder how actors learn lines but thatís not a big deal. No, itís very easy especially when plays are written in verse. Shakespeare for example wrote to an petanameter, five strong beats to a line. Make me a willow cabin at your gate, no big deal. Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears, again not a big deal. No I wonít quote the famous soliloquy from Hamlet...

BUZZ

NP: Gary you challenged.

IB: A little bit of a hesitation.

GW: Oh hesitation, absolutely, yes.

GB: She was going with such interest.

NP: Such style there. Twenty-nine seconds you went for, so thereís 31 left for you Gary, tell us something about big deal starting now.

GW: Well I actually play a lot of football. And a big deal for me was when I was invited to Wembley to play in a charity game before a big Cup Final. It was indeed a big deal. I turned up at the ground about half past 11 in the morning and we wasnít ready due to kick off until 2.30...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles you challenged first.

GB: There was a little bit of hesitation.

NP: There was a hesitation Gyles.

GW: Yes.

NP: Another point to you, a correct challenge, big dealís with you, 16 seconds starting now.

GB: Between Dover and Ramsgate is a city called Big Deal. I call it that because itís an enormous place in my heart. Itís actually quite small physically to look at but it...

BUZZ

NP: Youíve been challenged.

GW: Um...

NP: What was your challenge, deviation?

GW: Yes absolutely, deviation.

NP: Because itís not called Big Deal, itís called Deal.

GB: I explained why in my heart itís called Big Deal!

NP: But you, your statement was itís called Big Deal. It isnít, itís called Deal. That was a very clever challenge of yours Gary! The way you went in straight like that, deviation, yes. We ll done, you got in with six seconds to go on big deal starting now.

GW: I knew a little place just in Kent called Little Deal. It was a lovely grape village...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gary Wilmot was speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point for doing so. And what is the situation? Well Isla and Linda are equal in third place, Garyís just ahead of them. Just ahead of all of them is Gyles Brandreth who begins the next round. The subject, Gyles, is telephone numbers. Tell us something about those without reciting too many I hope starting now.

GB: I will never know how the producers of Just A Minute got hold of my telephone number which is ex-directory. Iíd gone away to Northern Ireland to get away from it all in order to finish my novel. Iím a very slow reader! And there I was in the apartment that Iíd hired for myself in the Faulls Road when the telephone rang. I picked it up and after Iíd got through all the business of will you accept the transfer charge from Pebble Mill, I found out that I was talking to none other than Nicholas Parsons...

BUZZ

NP: Ah...

GW: Heís right! There is a Big Deal in Kent!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: But Gary you were the one who challenged...

GW: Yeah, I just thought there was a Little Deal, but there is a Big Deal. But letís not make a big deal of it!

NP: You just embarrassed me because I suggested to you that you might challenge at that point! So what, you interrupted his flow, so what happens now...

GW: Just because it came to me, that was why.

NP: Iíll tell you what weíll do. Weíll give Gary a bonus point because we enjoyed the interruption. Gyles you get a point because you were interrupted...

GB: Thank you very much.

NP: And you keep going with the subject of telephone numbers, 40 seconds are available starting now.

GB: The area code for Deal is 01273. Whether you go to that part of Kent or a different part really is immaterial. What matters...

BUZZ

NP: Isla why have you challenged?

IB: He said telephone number and I think on the card itís telephone numbers.

NP: Oh well listened! Very clever, well listened. So if you can listen cleverly or not, I donít know, but it was a clever challenge. Because the subject is telephone numbers and he repeated number. So you have Isla, 30 seconds to tell us something about telephone numbers starting now.

IB: Youíve got to be very careful who you give your telephone number to. And the first that you have, you must be very... careful...

BUZZ

IB: I know!

NP: But sometimes they keep going...

IB: Exactly! I know!

NP: They donít notice it or they let you get away with it.

IB: Yes.

NP: But Gyles wouldnít let you get away with it, would he?

IB: No! Not after that!

NP: You got in there Gyles, telephone numbers back, 22 seconds, another point of course starting now.

GB: Nothing is more infuriating than calling somebodyís numbersssssssssss and finding in fact that they have only one number...

BUZZ

NP: What you challenged again darling?

GW: Yes on the sssss.

NP: Yes a repetition of sssss!

GB: Itís very difficult in this country, they donít like a winner, do they? They love a loser, thatís what they like! Nicholas should know!

NP: Now what I want to know from this audience is when theyíre rude to me, why do you clap as well. Yes...

LS: Just leave it Nicholas! Youíll kill him! Honestly! Donít do it! Just walk away from it! Walk away!

NP: Walk away, yes...

LS: Itís not relevant.

NP: Weíre equal. What a very clever challenge Gary.

GW: It was yes.

NP: For someone who hasnít played the game very much, I thought that was very shrewd.

GW: Well youíve either got it or you havenít!

NP: So Gary a correct challenge, another point of course, 15 seconds available on telephone numbers starting now.

GW: Ah I havenít a clue...

BUZZ

NP: Isla you got in first. Yes?

IB: Hesitation.

NP: Yes right, yes. We love having you here yes, 13 seconds Isla on telephone numbers starting now.

IB: Telephone numbers of your friends must be kept to yourself because stalkers can get hold of them. Iíve known one person who had a very bad problem with such a person, whoíd make her phone calls all the time...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: Actually Gary you challenged half a second before the whistle.

GW: It was on persons, a repetition of person.

NP: Yes you did repeat person Iím afraid. Gary you are getting the gist of this game.

GW: I am, yes.

NP: You have managed to get in with half a second to go...

GW: Well yes.

NP: ...on telephone numbers and you start now.

GW: One...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gary Wilmot speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point and he has leapt forward. Heís only one point behind our leader Gyles Brandreth. And Linda Smith, your turn to begin, 99 pence. Strange subject, but an interesting one to talk about, start now.

LS: Ninety-nine pence is a figure that is added on to a more usual type of amount of money, say five pounds to make it sound like not nearly five pounds when in fact that is exactly what it is...

BUZZ


NP: Isla you challenged.

IB: Pounds, repetition.

NP: Pounds yes, itís difficult to describe something without repeating it, isnít it. So Isla youíve got in there and there are 58, no there are not, there are 49 seconds available and it is 99 pence starting... oh I have hiccupped Iím so sorry. I shouldnít drink fizzy water should I. Isla, 99 pence starting now.

IB: I am a complete sucker for sales. When I see the price cut down of anything I feel really tempted to buy it. So when I see 99 pence...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Gary?

GW: Repetition of see.

GB: Oh!

NP: Youíve seen too much there.

IB: I was, youíre right.

GB: Very sharp there.

NP: Yes he was so Gary youíve got in there, 40 seconds are available, tell us something about 99 pence starting now.

GW: I yearn for the days... oh no!

BUZZ

NP: Linda youíve got in.

IB: Heís still yearning!

NP: Still yearning. He goes, I could see him yearning...

GW: I was yearning! I was there!

NP: So Linda youíve got in with a hesitation, now 36 and a half seconds, 99 pence starting now.

LS: Ninety-nine pence is one penny less than a pound. There isnít a great deal that you can buy with that amount in tis day and age when everything is so very costly and expensive. But when I was younger you could buy an awful lot for 99 pence. It was an enormous fortune...

BUZZ

NP: Gary why have you challenged?

GW: Enormous.

NP: Yes there was an enormous before.

GW: There was two enormouses there.

LS: There was two enormouses.

NP: there canít be two enormouses.

LS: Itís huge!

GW: Yes very huge!

NP: Those other words donít come so quickly to mind when youíre trying to keep going under pressure, and with three bright sparks breathing down your neck, itís a tough game. Gary youíve got the subject, you have got 18 seconds starting now.

GW: I yearn for the days when we could have the er, the old money back...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles yes?

GB: I think a little hesitation there.

NP: Yes I think there was yes.

GW: I should stop yearning really, shouldnít I?

NP: This is not quite your subject, somehow! So Gyles you have got 99 pence, youíve got 14 seconds starting now.

GB: The cost of a call to Deal is about 99 pence, depending of course on whether you have the correct telephone numbers. I have that always about me, and the change which is very useful. Iím a little bit worried though about the advent of the epu...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gyles Brandreth speaking as the whistle went gained that all important extra point. he has increased his lead, heís ahead of Gary Wilmot, followed by er Isla Blair and Linda Smith in that order. And Linda, it isnít, itís Gary.

GW: Itís me.

NP: Itís your turn to begin, yes itís you. Cranks. Tell us something about that in this game starting now.

GW: I come out of a stage door er very often...

BUZZ

NP: Yes?

IB: Er.

NP: Er, yes. You erred almost immediately.

GW: I did, yes.

NP: What a pity.

LS: To err is human.

NP: I know. But not in...

GW: Listen to her!

NP: What a groan that got from the audience. But unfortunately if you er in Just A Minute it is hesitation, Isla got in first and Isla youíve now got 57 seconds on cranks starting now.

IB: Cranks is a restaurant, a health food and vegetarian one which opened in the late 60s. Youíd often find bearded gentlemen with sandals sitting in there with very pale complexions. But nowadays you see young executives... PR people...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Gyles, hesitation no doubt, one point, 41 seconds, cranks starting now.

GB: It was indeed at this selfsame eatery that I first encountered Isla Blair. I looked up across the nut rissoles and shredded carrot and thought to myself well, better than beetroot is this gorgeous woman who is herself a model of what a vegetarian diet can do. Bernard Shaw was a crank in his own way and would have enjoyed going to this place in order to consume the various er rice...

BUZZ

NP: Linda got in.

LS: Just a touch of hesitation.

NP: A touch of hesitation, enough to be called a hesitation. Another point to Linda and the subject and there are 18 seconds Linda, cranks starting now.

LS: That very same hostelry known as Cranks is to me not a very appealing one, because I donít think grey is a very attractive colour for food which everything in that place seems to be, and has the texture of tweed...

BUZZ

NP: Isla why have you challenged?

IB: Deviation, itís absolutely the most colourful food you could possibly eat!

GB: Yes!

IB: Carrots, there are beetroots, there are brown rices...

NP: But to her it all came across as grey.

GB: She was watching in black and white, thatís the problem!

LS: This game isnít!

NP: I just interpreted that as a sort of fantasy image, it all came across as rather grey to her. So I interpreted that as trying to convey that it was a grey atmosphere and a grey ambience to the whole environment.

LS: Absolutely Nicholas.

NP: So I agree with you Linda, so that was an incorrect challenge, another point to Linda and there are six seconds available, cranks with you Linda starting now.

LS: Cranks are also people who are considered a bit bonkers. A bit sort of mad and strange and...

WHISTLE

NP: Linda Smith speaking well as the whistle went and gained an extra point for doing so. She not only brought the round to an end, she also brought the show to a close, we have no more time for, to play Just A Minute today. Let me give you the final situation. Well a very fair one. Isla Blair and Linda Smith came equal in third place, just behind Gary Wilmot. But two points ahead of him was Gyles Brandreth so we say Gyles, youíre the winner today! But itís the contribution they all make that makes the show so enjoyable and successful. So my thanks to Linda Smith, Gary Wilmot, Isla Blair and Gyles Brandreth. From them, from me Nicholas Parsons, hope youíve enjoyed it. Be with us the next time we play Just A Minute. Until then bye-bye!

THEME MUSIC