JAM:LSmith,GBrandreth,IBlair,GWilmot
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring LINDA SMITH, GYLES BRANDRETH, ISLA BLAIR and GARY WILMOT, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Television, 3 May 1999)

NOTE: Isla Blair's last appearance, Gary Wilmot's last appearance.


THEME MUSIC

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you, hello and welcome to Just A Minute, this exciting, intriguing and often challenging game in which I ask my four guests to speak on a subject I give them and they try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Let us now meet the four exciting guests who are going to play this show today. Well we welcome the award winning comedienne Linda Smith. Beside Linda is Mister Show stopper himself Gary Wilmot. And on my left, star of stage and screen Isla Blair. And beside her the multitalented Gyles Brandreth. Please welcome all four of them! And they will score points or lose points according to how well or successfully they may challenge. And let us begin the show with Linda Smith. Linda, hereís a good subject, if I ruled the world. Talk on that subject in this game starting now.

LINDA SMITH: ďIf I ruled the world, every day would be the first one of springĒ is approximately the lyrics that Sir Harry Secombe sung in that song. But if I ruled the world, it would be rather a different story to those charming sentiments. If I ruled the world, for example, such phrases as ďthe caller knows you have called and is keeping you waitingĒ would be, um, carry a mandatory death sentence...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Gyles?

GYLES BRANDRETH: Iím so in agreement with her!

LS: It was a solidarity buzz, was it?

GB: It was a solidarity buzz combined though with the suggestion of a bit of hesitation.

NP: There was a bit of hesitation. So that is a correct challenge and Gyles Brandreth not only gets a point for a correct challenge, he takes over the subject. And by the way, for those who may be new to the game, there are a few occasionally. They can repeat every word on the card or the whole phrase if they wish. Gyles, there are 35 seconds still available, you take over the subject, if I ruled the world starting now.

GB: If I ruled the world, every day would be the 13th of March, which happens to be my wifeís birthday, that of Albert Einstein and Michael Caine. Not a lot of people know that. It would become a national holiday, and people would bow down and worship a craven image of my darling spouse lady. The woman in my life who gives me lust, who gives me a reason for living. I believe if I ruled the world, the world should actually go and pour itself out at her feet. Because there is nobody greater in humanity than this gorgeous person, once a virgin, still in the eyes of all somebody who could be celebrated like a holy lady...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Gyles Brandreth so heís taken the lead at the end of that round. And if Michele Brandreth is listening, I do hope youíre not blushing too deeply!

GB: I have to explain Nicholas that at the late meeting they said ďtry something like thatĒ!

NP: Right! Gary Wilmot, letís hear from you. Oh and what a good subject for you, records. A man who has gone for many and has got record breaking songs which you reprise for us. But talk on the subject, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

GARY WILMOT: Some of my favourite records are the ones that have troub, trob, er...

BUZZ

GW: If I could go for a whole minute without speaking would be a great record!

NP: Oh Gary we love having you on the show because you give such good value! Three seconds though, not bad...

GW: Oh itís a record!

NP: But 57 seconds are still available for you Isla, on a correct challenge, having got a point for that and it is records starting now.

ISLA BLAIR: Iíve got a collection of records that I canít bring myself to throw out even though I never use them any more. Two very special records Iíve got were given to me by the Beatles. I did a film with those people, but unhappily, I was cut out of it because I had a love scene with Paul McCartney. And the producers of that particular picture decided that having we kissed...

BUZZ

NP: Linda yes?

LS: Iím sorry, I was fascinated by the story...

NP: I know...

LS: Tell us more later.

NP: I wanted to hear about your love affair with Paul McCartney! Yes! I was all agog! Linda what have you done? My, my, my, my education has been neglected.

LS: Well I might make a mistake yet and it might go back to her.

NP: Of course, of course. But Linda, correct challenge and thatís what the gameís all about and you get a point for that and you have got the subject. And you have 36 seconds, records starting now.

LS: I used to work at the Royal Artillery Records and Manning Office. And it was the most extraordinarily tedious job Iíve ever had. Largely because there were literally no work to be done. It was completely meaningless. So we used to pretend to have something to do. And one of my colleagues thought it would be terribly amusing to put the name of his immediate superior printed on every single sheet of toilet roll in the executive toilet. And he did that and it must have filled up a good hour...

BUZZ

NP: Oh dear, I wanted to hear the rest of that story too! But you came in there Gyles.

GB: A couple of toilets.

NP: Too many toilets.

LS: You canít have too many facilities!

NP: Yeah quite! Gyles you have 10 seconds available to tell us something about records starting now.

GB: Incredible as it may seem, but I have held the record for the... longest ever after...

BUZZ

GB: Iím sorry!

NP: Yes Isla you challenged.

IB: I thought there was a hesitation.

NP: Yes he stumbled which I interpret as hesitation, yes. And you wouldnít have thought that he once held the longest ever after dinner speech record. In fact at one time we held it jointly.

GB: We did!

NP: Yes.

GB: We are a couple of record holders ourselves.

NP: Thatís right.

GB: Weíre a couple of something else ourselves as well, but thatís another story!

NP: Jointly in the Guinness Book of Records, we spoke for 11 hours to raise money for charity. You, right. Isla a correct challenge, you get a point for that, youíve got six seconds on records starting now.

IB: The little bit that I did in this picture wound up on the cutting room floor. But before I met them...

WHISTLE

GB: Very good! Very good!

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains that extra point. It was on this occasion Isla Blair whoís now equal with Gyles Brandreth in the lead. And Isla this is a subject, muck spreading. Why should the lovely Isla Blair be given muck spreading, I ask myself. But still itís a good subject to talk about starting now.

IB: One Saturday morning as I was preparing to go to work, there was a knock at the door. When I opened it, a large tattooed man stood there and said ďlady, Iíve come to do some muck spreading if youíd like me to.... horse manure...Ē

BUZZ

NP: Gyles you challenged first.

GB: Oh itís, itís like Jackanory! The way she tells it! Itís wonderful! I really do want to hear the rest of it but I felt there was a bit of a hesitation, thatís all.

NP: There was a bit of a hesitation. She had you for a hesitation before, so Iíve redressed the balance Gyles. You have the benefit of the doubt, you have 47 seconds, muck spreading starting now.

GB: M-U-C-K spells muck! And thereís too much of it about now especially on television. And I have to tell you it is quite unusual to be in a programme like this, where youíre invited to wear your clothes! Normally people appear naked now on the box! I need I have to explain to my children that once upon a time in the days when things were in black and white and there was Andy Pandy and Noddy and Looby Lou on, on ... the...

BUZZ

NP: Gary youíve come in there with a hesitation.

GW: Yes it was hesitation.

NP: Yes.

GB: Thatís right, hesitation.

NP: You make up your mind quickly. And you have got muck spreading, tell us something about it, 27 seconds available, starting now.

GW: I love going down to Devon during the summer months, indeed I find much work down there. But one of the most irritating things about driving to the west country is that you may find yourself stuck behind one of two things. A white caravan or something spreading...

BUZZ

NP: Isla youíve challenged.

IB: Um hesitation.

NP: Hesitation, Isla youíve got 13 seconds, tell us more about muck spreading starting now.

BUZZ

NP: Oh the muck dried you up! Gyles got in first. Another point to Gyles for a correct challenge and 11 seconds, muck spreading Gyles starting now.

GB: I understand that even Gardeners Question Time now, that people invited to be on it appear starkers. Can you imagine cutting the hibiscus with nothing on. No, this apparently was for naturistsí week. I have never seen such...

WHISTLE

NP: I would have had him for deviation on that! They donít appear naked, thatís not the reason they go on.

GB: Yes they did... the audience will vouch for it.

SHOUTS OF ďYESĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

GB: The only time they ever watched, wasnít it?

NP: Oh thatís right, youíre right, itís when they went to a nudist colony. Yes.

LS: But itís on radio!

NP: And they took their clothes off to appear on the show.

GB: Thatís right.

NP: Yes they did. Gyles...

LS: Itís on radio, Gardeners Question Time.

GB: Well this is on the radio, as well, isnít it?

LS: Yes...

GW: Were they pruning hollyhocks?

NP: No, the hollyhocks were all right. Itís when they started pruning the roses with all those...

GW: Because you canít let frost get at them, you know...

NP: I know...

GW: Because the minute you do...

NP: Youíve got to get frost at, if youíre starkers, yes. You know pruning the rose trees when youíre naked, you know and... well I wonít go into it. It is, it was correct, yes. So Gyles was then speaking as the whistle went, gained the extra point for doing so. Heís strengthened his lead at the end of the round and it is his turn to begin. Pumpernickel, thatís a good subject Gyles. Go on that if you can in this game starting now.

GB: I have a sausage dog called Pumpernickel, a sophisticated French poodle by the name of Fido spelt P-H-Y-D-E-A-U-X, and a mongrel who thinks he glories in the nomenclature Down Boy! Well I have to tell you that Pumpernickel was the rascal who...

BUZZ

NP: Garyís just challenged you.

GW: heís deviating all over the place surely.

GB: No, no, no! Iím telling you about Pumpernickel the dog.

NP: No, no, you went from Pumpernickel to the other animals in your...

GB: Itís a menagerie! This is a menagerie!

NP: I know, but Pumpernickel is the subject Gyles. And you went away from Pumpernickel into the rest of your menagerie that exists at home...

GB: As youíll discover in a moment there is more to be told.

GW: Well maybe but it looked like deviation to me. And I mean Iím on Nicholasís side here!

NP: Iím so pleased because Iím completely on your side Gary.

GW: Thank you.

NP: And so is the audience by the way. Because they want to hear from you on Pumpernickel because you got in with 40 seconds to go starting now.

GW: I once had a horse called Pumpernickel. I loved (laughs) nothing better than to win...

BUZZ

NP: Yes why have you challenged?

IB: Iím not sure it was, I thought it was a hesitation but it was a lovely laugh so maybe I was being mean there.

NP: Well you werenít being mean, you were just playing the game with fun which is what itís all about. But he didnít actually deviate because he may have had a horse called Pumpernickel.

IB: Hesitated, I thought, no, I thought it was hesitation.

NP: No, no, no, no, he giggled through his laughter and his dialogue so he didnít actually hesitate. Gary keeps going but try not to giggle so much as you...

GW: I always do!

NP: Pumpernickel with you, another point for a correct challenge, 42 seconds starting now.

GW: In the weekend I like nothing better than running down to the farm there and jumping on Pumpernickelís back and running down to the shops to buy some pumpernickel...

BUZZ

NP: Yes?

LS: Sorry to say but there were two runnings.

NP: You were running too much.

GW: Was I really?

NP: Yes you were running an awful lot. So Lindaís got in with a correct challenge and sheís got 35 seconds on pumpernickel starting now.

LS: Pumpernickel is in fact black flat very rich tasting German bread thatís full of little seeds and suchlike. And it resembles in appearance a sort of corked tile that was once so popular for bathrooms in the 70s. And actually looked rather awful in my opinion! But anyway I wouldnít suggest you use them in your bathroom because I think theyíre quite...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles?

GB: Repetition of bathroom.

NP: Yes.

GB: Also very poor taste! Because in our home, weíve got pumpernickel in the floor of the bathroom and itís actually quite attractive! In a way...

NP: Is this so if all these dogs youíve got make a mess, you canít see it?

GB: Am I going to get to tell you about pumpernickel?

NP: Youíve got 15 seconds, you can do it now starting now.

GB: Well I have to tell you that Pumpernickel ate Spot the goldfish and there werenít many remains. What he regurgitated up, we put onto a bit of toast and took into the garden. And there was this memorial service...

BUZZ

NP: Why have you challenged Gary?

GW: Regurgitation!

NP: Why...

GW: Oh is that not one of the rules?

NP: Hesitation, repetition and regurgitation! We could enlarge it for you in the future Gary! Thatís lovely, we loved it. What I do there is we give him a bonus point because we enjoyed the interruption, but it wasnít a correct challenge within the rules of Just A Minute. So Gyles will get a point for being interrupted, you keep the subject of pumpernickel with seven seconds available starting now.

GB: Pumpernickel attended the memorial service, tail between his legs. I recited the funeral ode, it went like this. Oh wet pet...

WHISTLE

NP: Gyles Brandreth speaking as the whistle went gained an extra point again and has increased his lead. Heís followed by Isla Blair and Gary Wilmot, equal in second place, then Linda Smith. And Linda begins the next round, Linda, the subject, oh, the national debt. Do you know anything about it? If not, try and talk on it, thatís the whole point of Just A Minute starting now.

LS: The national debt is a rum old do, in my opinion. Because itís nothing like personal debt. Now personal debt, if youíre slightly overdrawn, a snotty letter ensues immediately...

BUZZ

NP: Gary you challenged.

GW: I left it but the personal.

NP: Thatís well left, very generous. You leave it, then come in late.

GW: Well I used to be a rugby referee! You can wait for up to a week before you get the decision!

NP: You can yes! But donít come back next week to be on the show and say I want to challenge Linda for something she said then. No you challenged within the round, she did repeat personal so well listened. The national debtís with you, 49 seconds starting now.

GW: If only the great Nicholas Parsons would sell some of his divine jackets, Iím sure the money raised would wipe the national debt just like that! What a glorious dresser this man is!

BUZZ

GB: Hesitation, deviation! I mean, the whole works!

GW: And regurgitation!

GB: Absolutely!

NP: I was feeling that then! I think you were waiting for the audience applause... So was I as well actually! But er but you have a correct challenge of hesitation so it is the national debt with you Gyles starting now. Oh you want to know the seconds, 37 seconds starting now.

GB: National Velvet was one of my favourite films. National Debt I have not seen. But when I was in the last government I was the Royal Commissioner of the Treasury. And one of the jobs was to sign the cheques for the country. And what we did was gather at the Treasury and produce...

BUZZ

GB: Ah! Blast!

NP: Well listened Isla. Yes.

GB: Youíre right!

IB: Two Treasuries.

GB: Yes!

NP: You repeated the phrase.

GB: Youíre very sharp! Soft but sharp!

NP: Sheís talented.


GB: She is talented.

NP: And she plays the game very well. Twenty seconds for you Isla on the national debt starting now.

IB: The national debt is something that I find so depressing that I donít like to think about it very often. The point is weíre all getting older, weíre told that all the time...

BUZZ

IB: All, all, all, all, all.

GB: No, speak for yourself, I was about to say! Carry on! Youíre a child!

NP: So what are you challenging on?

GB: Iím not challenging, Iím just observing sheís not getting old, sheís getting younger within minutes!

NP: So you want her to keep going?

GB: I, oh God I want her to keep going.

NP: So she gets a point for being interrupted. So Isla youíve got another point, you still have the subject, you have 11 seconds, the national debt starting now.

IB: The point is weíre all expected to have our own pensions in future. The national debt is something that simply canít cover things like this. The Health Service, education, why arenít we taxed more...

WHISTLE

NP: Isla Blair was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. And sheís moved forward, sheís still in second place. Gyles Brandrethís in the lead and then thereís Gary Wilmot and Linda Smith in that order. And Gary Wilmot, your turn to begin, family trees. Good subject, can you speak on it, as long as you wish, within 60 seconds starting now.

GW: When I bought my very first house, I dug a big hole in the garden and put in a tree. We called that tree our family tree, although itís not exactly a...

BUZZ

NP: Isla you challenged?

IB: Hesitation I thought.

NP: Iím afraid there was, yes.

GW: A veritable forest of trees, of course.

NP: I know, yes, 54 seconds for you on family trees starting now.

IB: Thereís a small village in Scotland called Ketterns which is where my family come from. And in the graveyard thereís a very big tombstone with an amazing amount of names on it. One of them is Jacobea Blair, someone who was killed in the Jacobite rebellion...

BUZZ

NP: Youíve challenged.

GW: Oh I donít know if itís a correct challenge, Jacobean and Jacobite.

IB: No, Jacobea and Jacobite, yes.

GW: Yes, yes.

NP: No, no, donít worry...

GW: No, Iíve messed it up now, havenít I?

IB: No!

NP: Itís just lovely to hear from you. And all that happens is that Isla gets another point for an incorrect challenge and she continues with 37 seconds on family trees with you Isla starting now.

IB: A lot of my family got killed at Cullarden. The ones that didnít were moved away in the Highland clearances. Some of them went to canada, some of them went to India...

BUZZ

NP: Youíve challenged, yes?

LS: Again, an interesting story, but there were a lot of somes.

NP: It was a very sad story, I was almost in tears with the way you...

IB: Well there you are.

GW: Iím going to wait for the movie!

NP: Oh Blair the Movie, yes, Blair the Movie. Right, youíre no relation are you? You couldnít be the way you speak?

IB: To Tony?

NP: No...

GB: Or Lionel!

IB: No!

NP: Impossible, Iíd have thought the way... Linda you had a correct challenge and there are 27 seconds available, family trees starting now.

LS: Family trees make very bad pets I think. Because if youíve got a family tree, you canít really throw a branch for it. It would be cannibalism. And not very attractive. I think a dog or a cat or a goldfish or budgerigar, something of that order, makes a much better companion for a group of people linked by relations...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Isla?

IB: Is this deviation?

GB: Yes!

IB: Youíre talking about...

NP: Youíve got away from family trees on to pets.

GB: Yes.

LS: I might be.

NP: Yes it is, it might be, it was Linda. Thatís how I interpret that one. So Isla, another point to you, and 10 seconds available, family trees... oh go on, move us further with the family history, 10 seconds starting now.

IB: Itís very easy to find out your family tree. All you have to do is go to Somerset House. You can look up large volumes there, and lo and behold, people, your ancestors...

WHISTLE

GB: Well done!

NP: So Isla Blair kept going until the whistle went, and has got another point for doing so. And others in that round has meant that she has leapt forward and you are now in the lead Isla at the end of that round.

IB: True?

NP: Yes yes! And itís your turn to begin as well.

IB: Oh no!

NP: Hurdles. Itís a hurdle coming on the show. And youíve conquered many of those hurdles in the show. But now speak on the subject of hurdles, 60 seconds as usual starting now.

IB: All of us in life meet hurdles. Hurdles that have to be overcome. In my profession, theyíre called casting directors! These people prevent you from being seen for a part youíre convinced youíre perfect for. If youíre lucky enough to get an audition, you meet someone, another hurdle. He calls himself a director. This young child sits you down, makes you read because heís never heard of you, and then makes you do truly embarrassing things like pretend to be a yoghurt or sing snatches from Andrew Lloyd Webber films, or read, awful things...

BUZZ

NP: Linda.

IB: Thank you!

LS: Itís just too upsetting really, isnít it! Itís humiliation for you.

IB: Iíll never work again, will I?

LS: Itís not right, itís absolutely not right!

GW: Not had a very happy life really, you have, have you?

IB: Very sad!

NP: No, no, no, legit theatre, it works. Itís true, but there we are, but not for everyone, but weíve all suffered it at different times. But she did repeat the word read, well listened Linda, youíve got hurdles and you have 28 seconds starting now.

LS: Hurdles were a potato based snack food that never really caught on. They were like little tiny shapes in the form of Douglas Hurd. And they were pickle flavoured, salt and vinegar, smoky bacon, beef, cheese and onion, that sort of thing. And people just didnít seem to like them, they seemed to frighten people as they opened the packets...

BUZZ

NP: Gary you challenged.

GW: Repetition of people.

NP: Yes, there were too many people there. I loved the little hurdles, yes. Right, 10 seconds for you to tell us something about hurdles Gary starting now.

GW: When I was at school, athletics was something that I really enjoyed doing. We had our own fields where we had a long jump, a high jump. But the thing I loved more than anything else was in fact the hurdles...

WHISTLE

NP: Right Gary Wilmot was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so and heís moved forward. Isla Blair is still in the lead. And Gyles Brandreth your turn to begin, the subject, my wardrobe. Can you tell us something about my wardrobe starting now.

GB: I began my career as an actor. I was not very good, my first role was as the moody Dane for which I still have the costume in my wardrobe. I went on as Hamlet, but the audience threw eggs at me, I came off as omelette! And therefor to put away the skull, the doublet and hose from those days, now I keep my wardrobe full of jumpers. Indeed it isnít just one wardrobe, it is a series of rooms with charcoal on the floor. Because the problem with woollen items is that they get, rather like the things I say, full of moths. Old and tired and tatty. So I keep in my wardrobe all this beautiful...

BUZZ

NP: And youíve challenged there.

IB: I thought there were two fulls there, but am I wrong?

NP: Full yes, the wardrobe was full, there were two keeps as well. But fullís good enough for me, and Isla you take over my wardrobe with 24 seconds to go starting now.

IB: My wardrobe is fairly depressing again. Iím sorry to have to tell you that but Iíve got too many clothes, most of which come from the 1970s. Large platform shoes, mind you, theyíre coming back into fashion now. But my wardrobe is literally bulging with things that I can never wear. Alas Iíve got too fat for a lot of them, so I have to...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles you challenged.

GB: Sheís not got too fat for anything! She is perfect! And Iím sitting close! I am sitting absolutely close, sheís perfect! I just wanted to say that and Iíll let her carry on. I knew her husband too! Oh itís a sad life for her with a much older man...

NP: What do you want to say Gary?

GW: Weíre deviating from the show really!

NP: No, but itís enjoyable isnít it.

GW: It is good.

NP: Yes it is. Right Gyles, you interrupted her so she gets a point for being interrupted. Ah we enjoyed the challenge, because everybody agrees with you and there are six seconds available Isla on my wardrobe starting now.

IB: However I started to weed my wardrobe the other day, and out went all sorts of extraordinary things that I havenít...

WHISTLE

NP: Isla Blair was speaking then when the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so, sheís increased her lead at the end of the round, followed by Gyles Brandreth, Gary Wilmot and Linda Smith in that order. And Linda itís your turn to begin, the subject, girl Friday. Are you one? If not, talk about it in 60 seconds starting now.

LS: Girl Friday, I always used to find it a very curious advert in the newspapers when people would advertise wanting a girl Friday. What is this girl Friday, I would think. Does it mean you just go into the office on a Friday? That sounds like the sort of job for me. One day a week, I think I could manage that all right. And I think that would probably, in the name of God will no-one interrupt me...

BUZZ

NP: Gary you interrupted her.

GW: Yeah, thinks, there were loads of thinks in there.

NP: No, donít rub it in!

GW: No there were loads! I counted, I donít know how many I counted! I counted at least eight!

LS: All right Gary.

NP: Oh!

GW: No, there was two I think.

NP: There was two. There are 37 seconds for you to tell us something about girl Friday starting now.

GW: I think that girl Friday is in fact a person that does go into the office one day a week, that day being Friday. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday would be days that they wouldnít attempt to...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles.

GB: A feast of days, not all of them attached to a would, would, er, if you see what I mean...

NP: Yes he did repeat the word days.

GW: Did I?

NP: Not Thursday, Sunday, but you did say a lot days.

GW: Oh did I?

NP: Yes you did. Itís a difficult game isnít it.

GW: No, itís a doddle!

NP: Gyles you have a correct challenge, you have another point of course, 27 seconds still available on girl Friday starting now.

GB: You will not have heard of Kingís Cross Bear because he got off at the wrong station. The same goes for Man Wednesday, whereas Girl Friday is my kind of person. In my dreams, of course Isla Blair would be a perfect person for this role because she combines intelligence with great beauty and a kind of intellectual brilliance that is kind extraordinary...

BUZZ

NP: You challenged Isla?

IB: I had to stop him! Itís so embarrassing!

NP: He does that on this show! He does it, yes.

GB: Do you like it? Or not much?

IB: Um Iím not saying a word!

GB: Weíll talk about it later.

NP: You have five seconds... no, give it to Isla Blair because sheís embarrassed. Isla youíve got five seconds on girl Friday starting now.

IB: Thereís another term for girl Fridays, theyíre called gophers. They hang around film studios, they get up...

WHISTLE

NP: So Isla Blair again speaking as the whistle went gained the extra point for doing so. Sheís increased her lead, next is Gyles Brandreth, and the other two follow. Gary Wilmot, your turn to begin, eureka. Tell us something about that subject in Just A Minute if you can starting now.

GW: Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer have a girl on their show called Eureka Johnson. What a beautiful woman she is! However her name of course isnít Eureka, it is Ulrika. Eureka is very often shouted when somebody has achieved something, ie. if theyíre in the hurdles and they cross the finishing line quicker than anybody else they say eureka. But really the word eureka is associated with somebody who has invented something and has, has...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles you got in first.

GB: He was just, I think, coming up with something. It didnít quite come

GW: I was.

NP: He didnít come up unfortunately. It stayed down and there was a pause. So you have got another point, there are 36 seconds, eureka starting now.

GB: Eureka is Greek for this bath water is far too hot! And it was first shouted by...

BUZZ

NP: Gary.

GW: Well thatís simply not true, is it!

NP: Of course itís not true. It was a lovely line.

GB: Is it not true?

NP: No, itís not true, no, it was er...

GB: Your Greekís better than mine!

NP: It isnít, it was Archimedes who suddenly said ďIíve got itĒ, thatís what Eureka means. He suddenly saw the answer and he leapt out of his bath. He was in his bath, but it wasnít too hot. It was a lovely line, we enjoyed it, but it was incorrect so it was deviation. So Gary you have 30 seconds on eureka starting now.

GW: As I pressed that buzzer just now, I felt like saying eureka, I have done it! I have stopped Gyles Brandreth in mid-flow, from speaking for one minute without hesitation, repetition or indeed...

NP: Deviation!

BUZZ

NP: Oh! Gyles got in first, so well done Gary but bad luck. There are 18 seconds, eureka, still with, not still with, back with you Gyles starting now.

GB: Eureka is indeed a beautiful word in an ancient language. Not of course Latin. I know that in loco parentis means that my Dadís an engine driver. But what eureka truly means has been mistranslated on this programme already by our chairman who thinks he knows it all. But eureka is something heís not familiar with, though indeed he went to a university and trained as an engineer...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gyles Brandreth was then speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. And not only brought that round to a close, he brought the show to a close. Sorry, he didnít brought the show to a close, he just...

GB: Yes I know the feeling, itís all right.

NP: Eureka heís done it! He got a point of course for speaking when the whistle went and the situation is for those interested in the points, Linda came fourth. Then Gary Wilmot, then Gyles Brandreth. But just out in the lead, two points ahead of all the rest was Isla Blair, sheís our winner today! This time around itís Isla Blair! So it only remains for me to say thank you to our four exciting and talented players of the game, Linda Smith, Gary Wilmot, Isla Blair, Gyles Brandreth. From them, from me, hope youíve enjoyed Just A Minute, be with us the next time we play this delightful game. Till then good-bye.

THEME MUSIC