JAM:PJones,KHesketh-Harvey,JEclair,SFrost
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PETER JONES, KIT HESKETH-HARVEY, JENNY ECLAIR and STEVE FROST, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 19 July 1999)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure not only to welcome our many listeners throughout the world, but also the four diverse talented and dynamic personalities who this week are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back one of the wittiest and most erudite players of our game, Kit Hesketh-Harvey. We have one of our most outrageous and audacious and effervescent comediennes, that is Jenny Eclair. We have another delightful stand-up comedian, that is Stephen Frost. And we also are so happy to welcome back one of the long-standing players of the game, the ever popular Peter Jones. Would you please welcome all four of them! And as usual Iím going to ask them to speak on a subject that I will give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. Beside me sits Jane Gibson. Sheís going to help me keep the score, sheíll hold a stopwatch and sheíll blow the whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the Oxford Union in the very heart of this ancient seat of learning. And in front of us we have a highly intelligent, vociferous, hyped up, intelligent and intellectual undergraduate audience from this great university. And weíre going to begin the show this week with Stephen Frost, Stephen, what an apt subject to start off with, it is dreaming spires. Tell us something about it in Just A Minute starting now.

STEVE FROST: In 1976 I went to see a punk rock band called The Ramones. And supporting them were The Dreaming Spires. They were pretty good because theyíd come on stage wearing different types of churches on their heads! And one of their best known numbers was Rock The Aisles. And in this case everybody in the audience would start jumping up and down which in those days was called the Pogo. And when The Dreaming Spires left the stage, the audience left the auditorium...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny Eclair...

JENNY ECLAIR: He said left twice!

NP: He left twice, so that is repetition Jenny, well listened. You get a point of course...

JE: Thank you.

NP: ...because that is a correct challenge and you have er 37 seconds to continue, taking over the subject of dreaming spires starting now.

JE: Well obviously I have a massive chip on my shoulder because I never went to Oxford or Cambridge University. Still I havenít done badly for a girl with no education and hardly any bosom to speak of! It is absolutely charming to be here...

BUZZ

NP: And Stephen Frost has challenged.

SF: Deviation, itís dreaming spires and she said sheís got no bosom to speak of.

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

SF: I think theyíre just right, Jenny!

NP: Stephen I think from the audience response to that particular remark of yours shows it was highly appreciated. So that alone we give you a point. But as...

SF: You get two points for Jennyís!

NP: But as Jenny wasnít technically deviating within Just A Minute she gets a point for being interrupted and keeps the subject and there are 24 seconds available still Jenny, dreaming spires starting now.

JE: You see Iím winning already! Who needs a degree! Um, dreaming squires on the other hand are very posh old gentlemen who go to sleep after lashings of port and having elaborate dreams concerning kitchen maids!

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KIT HESKETH-HARVEY: She stopped, Iím afraid.

NP: She did yes, which is hesitation.

KHH: It was hesitation. She was in a great reverie which was lovely.

JE: I went into a coma actually.

NP: Kit a correct challenge, nine seconds available, dreaming spires starting now.

KHH: Naturally I prefer the dreaming... spires of my own university...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Hesitation there, he didnít want to say Cambridge in front of this lot!

NP: So Stephen you got in, another point to you and seven seconds, youíve got dreaming spires starting now.

SF: As I drove here on the A40, I saw the dreaming spires of Oxford gleaming in the sunlight, as the car pulled up...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains that extra point. On this occasion it was Stephen Frost and he has naturally taken the lead at the end of that round. And then itís Jenny Eclair and Kit Hesketh-Harvey and then Peter Jones. And Peter weíd like you to take the next round, in fact weíd like to hear from you. And oh, an apt subject, how much do you know about Svengali. But try and tell us something about it in Just A Minute Peter starting now.

PETER JONES: Svengali was the creation of George du Maurier who was the father of the actor Gerald and grandfather of the novelist Daphne.

BUZZ

PJ: And the part was played on the London stage...

BUZZ

NP: Oh sorry, Jennyís challenged. I do apologise.

JE: He was deviating like mad!

NP: Why?

JE: We were getting a sort of potted history of the du Maurier family! I thought we were talking about Svengali! I mean I know that he was originally a character in a book called...

NP: Jenny darling, you neednít show off your, your brilliant erudition here! No, he was deviating...

JE: Yeah.

NP: He was on to the du Maurier family, and not Svengali, though Svengali was created by Gerald du Maurier. Forty-eight seconds available, Svengali Jenny, starting now.

JE: Yes, originally from the book Trilby, by the author that Peter was chattering on about. Iím not going to fall into the same trap as he did. Surely not, but I have to say, um, no...

BUZZ

NP: So you fell into a different trap! And Kit got in...

KHH: She fell into hesitation.

NP: Right Kit, a point to you and er and the subject of Svengali, 40 seconds starting now.

KHH: The lovely family, the Galis, live on a Norwegian fjord called Dagenham. Their daughters, Ulrika, Gretcha and Ursula Andress, were crowned by a lovely little son, Sven Gali, who was the apple of his parentsí eye. He grew to be the greatest herring smelter this side of Fondheim. And he went out in his little Norwegian jacket and socks and caught... I said Norwegian twice, shall I interrupt myself?

BUZZ

NP: Kit you actually challenged yourself!

KHH: Yes Iím sorry.

NP: And so I have to ask you what was the challenge?

KHH: I wanted to spare myself from the challenge of repeating Norwegian.

NP: Absolutely, youíre perfectly correct! So I suppose if you challenge yourself, it isnít very often done! And you have a correct challenge for repetition, you get a point for that...

JE: Oh no!

NP: Yes a correct challenge er Kit, another point, 11 seconds still available, Svengali, can you keep going on it starting now.

KHH: He spent his life looking for the fishermenís ring, which, as a lot of you will know, is the Papal seal to which he attaches his briefs. And there was no... ring to be found...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny.

KHH: Oh no!

JE: He not only hesitated but he said ring twice.

KHH: I did.

NP: He did indeed, yes, but I canít give you two points Jenny, oneís enough.

JE: Thatís enough.

NP: Right, one point for a correct challenge and two seconds cleverly...

KHH: Oh!

JE: Svengali, what an ace name for a son. If I had one, Iíd call him Svengali...

WHISTLE

NP: So er Jenny Eclair was speaking as the whistle went and got that extra point for doing so. Sheís now moved into the lead ahead of Stephen Frost and Kit Hesketh-Harvey equal in second place. Kit will you take the next subject. Oh yes, very topical, the millennium bug. Right, I donít know if you know anything about it, but weíve heard a lot about it, read a lot about it, tell us something about it in 60 seconds if you can starting now.

KHH: I am sick to death of the millennium bug! Everyoneís a bugger these days! They come up to one at parties and say ďwhat are you doing for the millennium?Ē I couldnít care a jot. Just so long as I donít have to watch Peter Mandelson... peel back the covers of his glistening Dome...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: He choked on Peter Mandelson!

NP: He saw this highly political audience in front of him and he er choked as it came out. Right, Stephen a correct challenge and there are 47 seconds available, the millennium bug starting now.

SF: I had a cold last week and that was my 2000th illness, it was my millennium bug. But of course, a lot of people are referring to the computer that is going to blow up. The computer in the sky, the one thatís going to run...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny?

JE: He said computer twice.

NP: I know he did say that.

JE: Iím sure he didnít mean to, but he did.

NP: So Jenny, 38 seconds, the millennium bug starting now.

JE: If Iíve got this right, the millennium bug sends clocks backwards. I wouldnít mind catching it because then I would be 19 again! Hurrah! Imagine that! All nubile and gorgeous once again! Ah apart from...

BUZZ

NP: Kit challenged.

KHH: She went into a reverie just thinking about it.

NP: I know. Well this subject that you donít want youíve got back again and 27 seconds on the millennium bug starting now.

KHH: What rough beast, his hour come at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born? Wrote WB Yeats, he was a great apocalyptic milleniest, turning in the...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost you challenged. Iím sorry I didnít hear any noise, but your light came on, you challenged.

SF: Well deviation there.

NP: Why?

SF: Well because he said itís poetry...

KHH: He wrote on the millennium, you see Yeats...

SF: Yeah I know that! Donít show me up in front of all these people! I know that!

JE: He was also guilty of showing off a bit!

SF: Yeah!

KHH: Iím sorry, certainly!

NP: But he didnít, so what is actually...

SF: I had him for deviation because heís not mentioned... or did he say millennium?

NP: He talked about Yeats and his association with the millennium.

SF: Iím sorry, I wasnít listening!

NP: Thatís why we love having you on the show...

SF: I know, Iím having enough trouble keeping Peter quiet!

NP: So an incorrect challenge, another point to you Kit, and 16 seconds, the millennium bug starting now.

KHH: The... aeroplanes are going to fall out of the sky...

BUZZ

NP: Youíve been challenged again.

PJ: This er, isnít doing anything.

NP: I know, thereís no sound, can we stop the show, thereís hardly any sound... Peter you challenged but I hardly heard you. Iíll tell you what weíre going to do. Iíve just got a word to the engineer and he says that millennium bug has got into our buzzers. And so heís managed to upbeat the sound just to show what weíre going to get now.

BUZZ

NP: My goodness me! So from now on, team, thatís the noise weíre...

SF: But theyíve all left! They think itís fire drill!

NP: So that particular millennium bug was cured very very rapidly. I hope all the others will be. And Peter what was your challenge after all that?

PJ: Gosh I canít remember!

NP: Anything will do!

PJ: Yes I was complaining about the equipment and the lack of ...

NP: So it was deviation from the normal...

KHH: And hesitation as well, I hesitated and deviated all at the once.

PJ: Did you really?

NP: So Peter you have a correct challenge...

PJ: Ah thank you.

NP: You have a point which is fantastic! And you have 13 seconds to continue on the millennium bug starting now.

PJ: Well I was going to say that itís nothing to do with computers or anything. It is a bacteria and it will come from the starlings in the southern part of Japan. And theyíll kill them all...

WHISTLE

NP: So Peter Jones speaking as the whistle went got the extra point for doing so and with the other points in that round, he has leapt forward, and heís still in fourth place. But um Peter Jones itís your turn to begin, the subject Oxford brogues. Will you tell us something about those in this game starting now.

PJ: Well I wonít er go on about them. But they are shoes that are worn usually er in the country. And theyíre decorated with holes...

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Deviation, he's going on about them!

PJ: Thatís mean!

NP: So incorrect challenge Peter.

PJ: Yes.

NP: And you get a point for that and you get 53 seconds, Oxford brogues starting now.

PJ: Theyíre not really very fashionable at the moment except in the outer limits of Oxfordshire...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Some hesitation then.

NP: Not some, none, I donít think so, no.

JE: Oh.

NP: Forty-six seconds, Oxford brogues Peter with you starting now.

PJ: Thereís a lot of Irish people who speak with a brogue in Oxford and elsewhere, wherever they go, they spread. And er it is quite appealing really, because itís warm, friendly, and everything, usually, unless theyíre carrying um ahhhh rather...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Jenny I will agree with you on that one and you have Oxford brogues and 30 seconds starting now.

JE: I always say that you can tell a lot about a man by his shoes. If heís not wearing any, he canít afford you! I also think a man whoís got lace-ups is far superior...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Two men.

NP: Yes itís very difficult for Jenny because she does repeat man quite often! And er but that was repetition within Just A Minute, 20 seconds available, Oxford brogues with you Stephen starting now.

SF: I had a pair of Oxford brogues once. They were beautiful. Light brown colour, six holes in each shoe where I put the lace and tied them up before I went out walking. As they clipped along the pavement everyone would look at me and say... what?

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: He was lost then.

NP: He couldnít remember what they said, but there was hesitation, nine seconds...

SF: I thought I heard a buzz, Iím ever so sorry, I thought there was a buzz.

NP: I donít know what he said then but it sounded absolute rubbish! The er Oxford brogues with you Kit, nine seconds starting now.

KHH: They come from the Highlands of Scotland. Why they were adopted by this ancient university I cannot imagine, because they take an awful lot of polish. Perhaps theyíre a sign of privilege, so high...

WHISTLE

NP: So Kit Hesketh-Harvey was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. And heís equal with Jenny Eclair in second place, just behind our leader Stephen Frost. And Kit itís your turn to begin, the subject, thinking out loud. Something that I think people do in this show, but talk on the subject starting now.

KHH: Thinking out loud, I can see that Nicholas Parsonsí buttocks are particularly tightly clenched tonight. Whether it is because he is at this ancient university and scared that his Brideshead might become revisited, I do not know! He looks very fetching with it! Thinking out loud I look around this ancient chamber and I said ancient twice, for Godís sake rescue me...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged.

JE: Thinking out loud, see that bloke four rows back, heís cute, isnít he! Oops done it again!

KHH: You are shameless, Miss Eclair!

JE: Absolutely!

NP: Absolutely yes.

JE: I canít concentrate actually.

NP: I havenít given you the chance to start yet.

JE: Oh!

NP: I mean I know I do have to say there are 38 seconds, thinking out loud, starting now.

JE: Can I say what I just said again?

NP: Yes.

JE: So he knows Iím serious! (laughs raucously)

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Repetition of ha!

NP: And Iím sure Jenny doesnít mind losing the subject because it was worth it, she enjoyed it! Um 35 seconds available, thinking out loud with you Kit starting now.

KHH: Thinking out loud, I should tell him, donít even go there, darling! Itís a horrible place and you will find yourself embarrassed in the morning! The absolute nadir of your existence will be waking up with Jenny Eclair at the Randolph Hotel tomorrow. Beautiful, you might be, come back Jenny now!

BUZZ

NP: Oh Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of Jenny.

NP: Absolutely yes! I mean there are some who say you canít have too much of Jenny and er... certainly in Just A Minute we love having as much as possible of her! But Peter it is repetition to repeat her name so youíve got in there with 18 seconds available, thinking out loud starting now.

PJ: If I were sitting next to Jenny and I put my thoughts into words, I would probably be arrested! Thinking aloud is not something that should really be encouraged by er anybody, I donít think, because itís just...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Peter you did jolly well, a lot of points there including one for speaking as the whistle went. Jenny what a lovely subject now, very apt, May ball. Will you tell us about May ball, have you ever been to an Oxford May ball?

JE: Oh are you asking me a question or...

NP: I asked you a question, yes.

JE: I have, yes!

NP: Then tell us about it, 60 seconds starting now.

JE: I have never been to a May ball without having to sing for my supper. As a stand-up comic, and Perrier Award winner 1995, Iíve been to many of these things. Do you know, itís so ghastly. Theyíre very expensive, the tickets, and they employ people with guns and walkie-talkies to keep out the riffraff like me! I said to this bouncer ďdo you know who I am?Ē ďNo,Ē came the resounding reply and I had to get in via a hedge! Theyíre getting more and more over the top at these things...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KHH: Repetition of more, Iím afraid.

JE: Yes.

NP: Yes there was more, yes.

JE: Youíre right Kit.

NP: Repetition, you are right Kit, a point to you and May ball is with you and 36 seconds starting now.

KHH: I can sense that this audience is completely baffled, since in Oxford theyíre actually called Commem balls. May balls are what we have in Cambridge and...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Patronising!

NP: So give Stephen a bonus point because we not only enjoyed the challenge, so did the audience. Kit wasnít actually technically deviating from the subject. So Kit you have a point for being interrupted, you keep going. There are 29 seconds still available, May ball starting now.

KHH: The tickets are terribly expensive. And you donít want May ball, you want a partner who will ball definitely by the end of the evening! You want to get the investment you put into it! Theyíre very muddy affairs by what I er ahhhh...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Sorry, two verys. Very expensive and very muddy.

NP: Thatís right, yes, two verys, right. Stephen, 18 seconds, May ball starting now.

SF: The last May ball I did a gig at, the sign said ďfree beer and comedyĒ. So I was very upset because when we arrived on stage, all the students were drunk and throwing cans at us! Which made them laugh but not us. We walked off and made sure that we got home safely and never played that... venue...

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Narrowly averted being patronising there!

NP: Right, Kit it was hesitation and youíve got one second...

KHH: Oh God!

NP: ...on May ball starting now.

KHH: May Ball was a lovely girl...

WHISTLE

NP: So er Kit Hesketh-Harvey speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point. Heís now taken the lead at the end of that round, just ahead of Stephen Frost, Jenny Eclair and Peter Jones in that order. And Stephen your turn to begin, and the subject is fishing for compliments. Do you ever do it? Tell us something about it, 60 seconds starting now.

SF: ďHow was I darling?Ē is probably the most fished for compliment in the world. the trouble with fishing for compliments is you donít get the answer you require. Often youíre told that youíre not as good as you thought you were which can be very embarrassing and can need a long long... long long...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Jenny yes?

JE: He got depressed about his sex life!

NP: Repetition or hesitation, or a combination of the two. Right Jenny, a point to you, fishing for compliments starting now.

JE: Fishing for compliments is a girl thing. ďOh God, Iím so fat and I hate my hairĒ and then the bloke is meant to say ďdarling youíre a beauty of the first degree. How I adore your slender cellulite-free flab. And as for your silky tresses, may I bury my head into them once again and remind you what a fantastic bird you are!Ē See blokes, what klutzes you are! Thatís all you have to do to keep us happy! Weíre not very difficult people at all!

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones you challenged.

PJ: Well I didnít hear all of that, I didnít think, but I think there were one or two repetitions.

NP: So what is your, your challenge actually? Deviation?

PJ: Well I donít know really...

NP: You donít know.

PJ: What choices are there?

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Um Iíll give you them Iíll give you the choice, Iíll say the benefit of the doubt.

PJ: Yes.

NP: Thatís a good choice, isnĎt it.

PJ: Yes all right.

NP: So it goes to you Peter, well done! Twenty-three seconds, fishing for compliments starting now.

PJ: ITís not something Iíve er ever done because I havenít really er been able to collect enough bait to er really er provide somebody with the material on which to decide whether I was worth a compliment or not. Ah compliments can of course be a plug as well if youíre ... inclined that way. Um...

WHISTLE

NP: Peter you were going with such style that um I was rather naughty, I let you go beyond the minute and actually, you, thatís why there was a pause. You looked at me and I blew the whistle myself on that occasion. But you get a point for speaking when the whistle should have been blown.

PJ: Yes.

NP: And er whatís the situation? You, youíre doing jolly well, I mean youíre equal with Jenny Eclair and she was leading a little while ago. And whoís going to begin the next round? Let me have a look. It is Peter, itís your turn to begin. Ah, the one way system. Talk on that subject Peter if you can, 60 seconds starting now.

PJ: Well the only really sure-fire one way system I suppose is gravity. Because everything goes down, even if youíre on the other side of the world it appears to be doing so. Though from our er position here, it appears to be going up...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen you challenged.

SF: Itís like taking... (laughs) Two appears there.

NP: Two appears.

SF: Appears to go down...

NP: Appears to go down, and appears to go up, yeah! Repetition Stephen, 42 seconds on, no not gravity, what... 42 seconds on the one way system starting now.

SF: The best way to go down a one way system is to reverse and no-one complains at all because that way you are going the other way that you should have gone but not...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Just a very ah....

NP: I know!

PJ: Too rough and not er distinct! Not up to BBC standards at all!

NP: The one way system starting now.

PJ: Me?

NP: Yes you!

PJ: Oh I see! Oh I thought that Iíd done that! Ah...

NP: No, itís still the same subject Peter. You challenged! You challenged Peter, it was a correct challenge, I gave you a point for a correct challenge...

PJ: Yes...

NP: We werenít sure what your challenge was but I gave you the benefit of the doubt again.

PJ: Well thanks very much!

NP: I said right, you get a point for that...

PJ: Yes...

NP: And now you take over the subject and there are 27 seconds available, and you start now, when I say now. Now!

PJ: Now? Oh... if you go er backwards up a one way street, youíre infringing the police regulations and youíre not really er supposed to do that. And anyway nobody is going to believe that youíre really going forwards if youíre actually going backwards. Iíve noticed that people who...

BUZZ

NP: Kit has challenged you, yes?

KHH: A lot of goings werenít there?

NP: Going and backwards too. But you kept going for 40 seconds Peter, but unfortunately till the whistle. So you, Kit...

PJ: Forty seconds?

NP: Yes you did jolly well.

PJ: I only had 27 to start with!

NP: Well you see I studied my mathematics at Glasgow University and obviously they ah, I was at the wrong university for maths. Um no Iím sorry my subtraction was wrong, yes. It was only 20 seconds.

PJ: So what happens to me?

NP: You, you keep quite now because Kit has got a correct challenge...

PJ: Oh yes?

NP: It was repetition of backwards and things like that. And so Kit, youíve got a point for a correct challenge and one, 10 seconds available, the one way system starting now.

KHH: The terrible thing is that after this recording weíre going to go to a hostelry where Nicholas Parsons will toy with his oysters and then bat his eyelids at me and say ďlife isnít just a one way system, you know, would you not like snails...Ē

WHISTLE

NP: What makes you think Iím going to bat my eyelids at you Kit?

KHH: Youíve done it before! I have to put a chair under the door handle in my hotel, I can tell you!

NP: And Jenny it is your turn to begin, so take the last round, brown envelope. Oh so many significances there. But talk about it, 60 seconds starting now.

JE: Iím not sure whether this is some weirdo sexual deviation Nicholas, Iím rather worried! Brown envelopes, do you know, in the olden days when men got paid their weekly wages theyíd bring it home in a brown envelope and the missus would take it off them! Hurrah! It doesnít work that way any more! Iíve tried! Iíve tried! But...

BUZZ

NP: Oh! Itís a tough game, isnít it, tried and tried...

JE: Itís so hard!

NP: Stephen you came in first.

SF: Tried and tried.

NP: So 46 seconds on brown envelope starting now.

SF: Bad news comes in brown envelopes. I think they should change the colour of them so youíre not taken by surprise. You think ďthatís a yellow one, I know whatís coming, I accept itĒ. With brown, you always seem to know that that situation...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny?

JE: Well he hesitated, deviated, he just went on and on and got a bit dull!

NP: You neednít rub it in for him! Really! He hesitated, 34 seconds, brown envelope for you starting now.

JE: The thing is, Steve was wrong as well. Because my bank used to send me bills in brown envelopes. I never used to open them so they started sending them to me in pink. I used to think ďoh Valentines card!Ē

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Two sendings.

NP: Two sendings, yes, so Stephen, 28 seconds, back with you, brown envelope starting now.

SF: I found a brown envelope on the floor this morning inside my house. Of course it was there, not outside, otherwise youíd have to sack the postman. But he knew that if I saw what was inside, Iíd burst into tears. It was another brown envelope. A cruel trick played on me by this man who delivered this mail to my door...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen, Peter Jones you challenged.

PJ: Repetition of door.

NP: Thatís right, there was too many doors there and other things. Right, Peter youíve got in with seven seconds to go on brown envelope starting now.

PJ: It can be full of crisp fivers! So long as you promise to ask a question in the House of Commons...

WHISTLE

NP: So Peter Jones then speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point for doing so. And heís moved forward into a very respectable position there. And Iíll just give you, for those interested in points, the final score. Jenny Eclair was leading for quite a long time, and she gave incredible value as she always does, but she did finish up only just in fourth place...

JE: Ah!

NP: And Peter Jones came from nowhere and he finished up just ahead of Jenny...

PJ: I came from London!

NP: Ah but as you were playing the game, you sort of came from nowhere...

PJ: Oh really?

NP: Yes.

PJ: You mean I got back into the game as they say.

NP: You got back into the game and you excelled!

PJ: Yes.

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey who always gives good value there, came... oh this is very very fair isnít it. Stephen Frost who hasnít played the game quite so much and Kit Hesketh-Harvey only two points ahead, but between them they have an equal number so we call them the winners this week! Yes! And we do hope that you have enjoyed this edition of Just A Minute. It only remains for me to thank Kit Hesketh-Harvey, Peter Jones, Stephen Frost and Jenny Eclair, and also Jane Gibson for keeping, helping to keep the score, and blowing her whistle so delicately, with such power actually, it was very very dramatic. And also our producer Chris Neill who produces and directs the show. And of course Ian Messiter who created Just A Minute and we still go on playing this game. And of course this particular undergraduate audience here, and maybe thereís some graduates in the audience as well, I donít know, at Oxford Union. Itís been a joy to be with you, and maybe, who knows, we might come back again. Wouldnít that be lovely! Would you like to have us back again?

SHOUTS OF ďYESĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: All right. Until we return here again let me say to all of you and our listeners at home and overseas, good-bye! This is Nicholas Parsons saying thank you for listening! Bye!

THEME MUSIC