JAM:GNorton,THawks,TRice,JEclair
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring GRAHAM NORTON, TONY HAWKS, TIM RICE and JENNY ECLAIR, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 4 February 2002)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Oh, thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners throughout the world. But also to welcome four clever, intelligent, witty, humorous players of the game who once more are going to pit their wits, their verbal ingenuity, their creative intelligence and all kinds of other things theyíve brought with them, as they try and speak on the subject I give them and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. And those four people are, in no order of seniority, Graham Norton, Jenny Eclair, Tim Rice and Tony Hawks! Will you please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Janet Staplehurst whoís going to help me keep the score, and sheíll blow a whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the lovely Harrogate Theatre in the heart of this lovely spa town of Harrogate in that great county of Yorkshire. And in front of us we have an enthusiastic Yorkshire audience ready to cheer us on our way. As we begin the show this week with Graham Norton and who better. Graham will you talk on the subject of more haste, less speed, and your time starts now.

GRAHAM NORTON: More haste, less speed, more haste, less speed. That is the mantra repeated in the mind daily of the driver of the Trans Pennine Express...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny has challenged. Sorry, you were challenged.

JENNY ECLAIR: Of the, of the. He said of the twice.

NP: I know he did.

JE: Is that not...

NP: No, itís a harsh challenge, but itís correct yes.

JE: Probably not a good time to tell them Iím from Lancashire either, is it?

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

JE: Now they hate me!

NP: No...

JE: Can I give Graham the round back?

NP: No, you canít give it to him back, no. No, sometimes we resist the temptation on little things like that. But it was a correct challenge Jenny, so you have the subject which is more haste, less speed, and there are 47 seconds available starting now.

JE: Children are often victims of the more haste less speed curse. Refusing to tie up their shoelaces, tripping over the stairs, knocking out every tooth in their head as they take lengthy business to an orthodontist. Couldnít you just slap their legs...

BUZZ

NP: Oh right, Tony you challenged, Tony Hawks.

TH: Bit picky, this one! But if youíve knocked out all the teeth in your head, you wouldnít go to an orthodontist!

LAUGHTER FROM NP AND THE AUDIENCE

NP: No I think itís very accurate actually, because you go to a dentist first. You might later go to an orthodontist. But yes Tony, a correct challenge, you have 30 seconds, the subject is, and of course a point for a correct challenge, thatís how it works in this show. More haste, less speed is the subject and 30 seconds starting now.

TH: More haste, less speed. I intended to say this to a taxi driver once, but ended up saying ďmore hash, less speedĒ, and ended up at the drug dealerís in...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Tim, no, Graham, you challenged first.

GN: Ended up, a repetition.

TH: Thatís true.

NP: He did indeed Graham, yes yes. More haste, less speed and there are 19 seconds available starting now.

GN: The countryside around here is, Iím told, very beautiful. But who knows? Such is the soaring speed of the train as you speed through the countryside...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks has challenged.

TH: Did he say train in his last, er...

GN: No I didnít!

NP: No he didnít. So Graham still has the subject, another point for an incorrect challenge and Graham, 10 seconds starting now.

GN: More haste, less speed, as Betty Ford said at a party, handing around trays! I donít understand this expression myself. I feel that...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. And on this occasion it was Graham Norton who with other points in that round, you wonít be surprised to hear, has got a strong lead. Jenny Eclair will you take the next round and the subject is how to look good in photos. Tell us something about how to look good in photos...

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I should say to our listeners, sheís now demonstrating it !

JE: Iím putting on my faces...

NP: I know you are, thatís why I said...

JE: At 37 paces!

NP: I know but as this is radio, I try to explain it...

JE: Iím wasted on radio! Sorry where are we?

NP: Where we are? Well I donít think you are wasted on radio because your, your verbal ingenuity is brilliant! And thatís why youíre back on this show again. Jenny tell us something about how to look good in photos, 60 seconds starting now.

JE: Well, how fortuitous that I should get this round. I am the mistress of looking good in photos, due to a misspent youth in a photo-me-booth. Sucking in cheeks, bones, perfecting the art...

BUZZ

NP: Graham, Graham has challenged you, yes.

GN: I think there was a hesitation.

NP: No it wasnít!

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

JE: I think it was my speech defect...

GN: Or maybe there wasnít!

NP: Theyíre being partisan right from the start, arenít they! No she was keeping going...

GN: Lancashire!

NP: Jenny an incorrect challenge, you gain a point for that, you have 47 seconds to continue on how to look good in photos starting now.

JE: Hereís a handy hint if you want to look good in a photo. Stand next to something which is much uglier and older than you are! May I suggest a ruined castle or Barbara Cartland. Oh sheís dead...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks you, sorry, Tony Hawks has challenged you, yes Tony?

TH: You canít get a ruined castle into a photo booth!

JE: Iím out of the photo-me-booth now.

TH: Oh youíd moved on, had you?

NP: Sheís moved on...

TH: And are your teeth in your mouth now or...

NP: Jenny you have how to look good in photos, another point of course, 37 seconds available starting now.

JE: Lighting is essential, but so is makeup. Iíll tell you the downside of looking good in photos. I had some fantastic shots done last year for a show of mine which was called Middle Aged Bimbo. (laughs) And...

BUZZ

NP: Tim what was your challenge?

TIM RICE: Well there was a definite hesitation.

NP: No there wasnít! You canít, you canít have retrospective, no, it was not a hesitation. But letís carry on, Jenny you got another point for an incorrect challenge, you keep the subject. There are 25 seconds, how to look good in photos starting now.

JE: The worst thing about looking fantastic in photos...

BUZZ

JE: Yes I have said fantastic before, I know!

NP: I know!

JE: I said...

NP: Tim you got in this time.

TR: Yes this time, I think Iím right, there was a fantastic.

NP: Yes and Tim, a correct challenge, 21 seconds, how to look good in photos starting now.

TR: Photos are very technical things so looking good in them is mighty difficult. Youíve got to make sure that you donít have redeye which is what happens when the flash gets you at the wrong moment. Your eyeballs turn this horrible colour, red, which...

BUZZ

TR: ... is not the same as redeye! Because redeye is one word!

NP: Jenny you challenged first, what was it?

JE: Well! Red and redeye.

NP: No, it doesnít matter, this, this is radio, and redeye even if itís hyphenated, we accept it, because he repeated the word red.

JE: Ah but then he went on to say redeye again! He said ah itís not the same.

TR: No, after you buzzed.

NP: That was after you buzzed. And you have a point for a correct challenge, Jenny, and youíre moving forward there...

TR: What?

NP: Itís repetition of red. That was correct. And you have eight seconds, you take back the subject, how to look good in photos starting now.

JE: Naomi Campbell, Kate Moss, they look quite nice in photos. The rest of us should never be snapped in a swim wear outfit. Oh isnít that depressing...

BUZZ

NP: Tim you challenged.

TR: Snapped, she said snapped about half an hour ago!

NP: Yes you did repeat it, so Tim you cleverly got in with one second to go on how to look good in photos... thatís gone down well, hasnít it! Starting now.

TR: Stand erect...

WHISTLE

NP: Tim Rice, speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, heís now equal in second place with Graham Norton, theyíre both behind Jenny Eclair, and Tony Hawks follows. And Tim, Tim Rice, your turn to begin, the subject, Bettyís teashop.

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I should explain to our listeners, the reason everybody in this audience has clapped is it because itís a very famous haunt here in Harrogate. And Tim talk on the subject with 60 seconds to go starting now.

TR: When I was invited to join this distinguished programme of intellectual stimulation, my real reason for coming all this way up to this beautiful beau-ti-ful...

BUZZ

NP: Graham you challenged first, what was it?

GN: Ah some sort of stopping and possible repetition of beautiful. Just hesitation, everything really!

TR: I hadnít finished the second word!

GN: And you stopped.

NP: But you stopped.

TR: Well yes!

NP: As you realised...

TR: Only as you buzzed! Only as you buzzed!

NP: As you realised you were hesitating, you paused, so thatís hesitation. So Graham you got in first, 51 seconds, Bettyís teashop starting now.

GN: Itís a little known fact that Betty, the founder of the lovely teashop, was also the inventor of the doily. Late at night she would toil away at the workshop with bits of lace, thinking ďwhere can I throw this? I know, Iíll open a shop, and Iíll import tea from so far away I can charge 10 pounds at leastĒ. I donít understand...

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

GN: ... how that woman has the gall to do so. And yet people flock there! I think there must be something in the tea. Otherwise, i donít know why, people would just slap...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Tim, what is your challenge?

TR: People!

NP: People, yes, a repetition of people.

GN: (laughs) Whatís your challenge? People!

TR: People! Yes yes!

NP: Right!

TR: I hate people!

NP: So you have the subject back again, Bettyís tea shop, 16 seconds available starting now.

TR: Yes, Bettyís teashop was the sole purpose of my trek up north. I could not wait to sample the sarnies, the sandwiches...

BUZZ

NP: And er Tony you challenged first.

TH: Well first of all, I thought that might have been a hesitation, but I happen to know he hasnít been anywhere near Bettyís teashop!

NP: You were sitting on the train with him, coming up, were you?

TH: Yes! Itís a bit of a sneaky one but er...

NP: It is a sneaky one but it is correct after all...

TR: I never said Iíd been there! I said I couldnít wait to get there!

TH: Ah!

GN: You obviously could wait!

TR: Itís shut! (laughs)

NP: No thatís true. Iíll be fair, you know Iím always fair in this game. You did say...

TH: I said hesitation.

NP: ... no, no he didnít hesitate.

TH: Oh.

NP: You did say that this was the reason you wanted to come here, which is probably quite false! If youíd have him for that, I think you could have had him. But no, he didnít actually ah say heíd been there. So Tim, an incorrect challenge, you keep Bettyís teashop, not literally, but you can have the subject of Bettyís teashop with seven seconds to go starting now.

TR: As you walk through the automatic doors with their laser beams keeping up...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny yes?

JE: Total deviation, it hasnít got automatic doors and it hasnít got...

NP: Laser beams?

JE: Anything like that. He hasnít been there...

TR: No, I was talking about the airport, to come up here!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: You, Tim, are you sure you didnít train as...

TR: A solicitor! (laughs) I did, I did briefly, yes. I failed though!

NP: You can tell yes. Jenny a correct challenge yes.

JE: Thank you. Thank you Nicholas.

NP: Four seconds, tell us something about Bettyís teashop starting now.

JE: Itís not licensed , you know! Iím not that fussed about going! You can only get tea!

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point, and sheís increased her lead with other points in the round. And sheís only just ahead of Tim Rice and then Graham Norton and then Tony Hawks in that order. And Tony your turn to begin, the subject now is management courses. Tell us something about that Tony, you start now.

TH: Management courses through my veins! I love management! Iíve been on many management courses, one for Arsenal FC. I studied for three years, only to find theyíd already given the job to Arsen Venger which was very disappointing. The same thing happened with Liverpool and Gerard Julier. Bloody French, but thatís another matter! Management courses happen a lot, I believe, up here in the lovely town of Harrogate where people... can come and do...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you pressed first.

JE: Itís just, itís a tiny hesitation.

NP: Yes it was hesitation, it was yes.

JE: Yeah. He ran out of steam, didnít he.

NP: He did run out of steam, yes.

TH: Yes.

NP: He was trying to think of what was all the other football managers he could through and, and trying to link them up without hesitating is difficult. So Jenny you got in first and there are 30 seconds on management courses starting now.

JE: Do you know, Iíd rather stab myself in the eyes with one of Bettyís silver cake forks than go on a management course! Fortunately Iíve never been gainfully employed in my life and Iíve never had the need! But donít you do...

BUZZ

NP: Tim yes you challenged.

TR: Two nevers.

JE: Yes, and waffling as well.

TR: Yes, that and waffling!

NP: But thatís not within the rules of Just A Minute, you can waffle as much as you like, provided you donít hesitate, repeat anything or deviate. And Tim, 19 seconds is available, you take over management courses starting now.

TR: In stark contrast to the rather depressing talks that weíve heard from the other panellists on this subjects, I find (starts to talk through a large yawn) management courses extremely interesting and (normal voice) they fire me up with enthusiasm every time I think about them! What fantastic deeds once can achieve on a course. You go out to some remote part of Lancashire...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Tim Rice kept going on that rather boring subject with a certain aplomb until the whistle went, gained a point for doing so and heís now only one point behind our leader Jenny Eclair. Graham itís your turn to begin, the subject is budgies. I donít know whether you are a budgie fan but tell us something about budgies in Just A Minute starting now.

GN: ďDo lemons have legs?Ē enquired the drunk at the party. ďNo,Ē said the hostess. ďOh dear, Iíve just squeezed your budgie into my gin!Ē That was one of the first jokes I can ever remember being told! Perhaps it was because of that that I then wanted to have a budgie of my own! Billy, he was gold, he couldnít talk or sing. In fact his only talent was being able to spread his droppings halfway across a large living room from a tiny cage! Thatís a gift...

BUZZ

NP: Tim you challenged.

TR: I think he got a pigeon!

LAUGHTER FROM GN AND THE AUDIENCE

TR: Well this bird...

NP: Yes...

TR: ... heís claimed to talk about has none of the attributes of a budgie. Clearly itís not a budgie. Clearly itís deviation.

GN: Have you had a budgie?

TR: (laughs) Yes, when I was very small.

NP: I donít think you should bring his private life into this. But no, no, the thing is...

GN: Theyíre useless! Thereís no point to them!

TR: Every budgie Iíve met sings and trills happily. Either youíre a very cruel man or it was a pigeon!

GN: Or it was just an Irish green thing that was quite stressed!

NP: No, actually budgies donít talk, unless theyíve been trained by a human to do so. They donít naturally do it. They... they might naturally sing...

GN: I think Tim knew they didnít come out of the egg going ďhello!Ē

NP: No but, but my daughter had budgies when she was a little girl and I know, and some of the most...

TR: So youíre a grandfather!

NP: Whatís that? And we...

TH: I want to talk more about budgies during the round! And less in between!

NP: All right so Iím er he could have a budgie which was inhibited and didnít sing very well. And so Iím going to give Graham the benefit of the doubt and say keep the subject of budgies with 28 seconds to go starting now.

GN: I loved that little bird, my feathered friend. I would skip home from school and go ďMummy, out of the way, Iím off to see the thing in the barred thing in the thing...Ē

BUZZ

NP: Tony you, you challenged first.

TH: I...

GN: Why, what was wrong? What was wrong?

TH: There may just have been a repetition of thing.

NP: There were too many things.

GN: Ah right!

NP: Yes you were getting away from using the other word, you said the word thing and then repeated the word thing. So Tony youíve got in on budgies, 17 seconds available starting now.

TH: When I was nine years old, my father brought home a pet pigeon and I said to him ďI donít want one of those, thereíll be muck all over the...Ē

BUZZ

NP: And Jenny you challenged.

JE: Heís talked now a lot about pigeons, hasnít he, not budgies. Do you think?

TR: Yes.

NP: Yes I do.

TH: Hang on! What do you...

JE: I thought this round was budgies, not pigeons!

GN: Yeah!

NP: It is and er I think in Just A Minute you have to establish if youíre going to compare, you have to establish much more rapidly that youíre on the subject of budgies. He seemed to go off on pigeons...

SHOUTS OF ďOOOOHHHĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Do you want to run the game?

SHOUTS OF ďYESĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: No, I think, I think itís a fair challenge and er...

TH: Iíd only been going about four seconds!

NP: No youíd actually been going seven seconds.

TH: Oh I stand corrected!

NP: Jenny, budgies is with you, nine seconds starting now.

JE: Some people are massively allergic to budgies. And they develop chest infections, a bit like pneumonia, so think before you buy one from your nana. Another thing you must do is...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair with points in the round, including one for speaking as the whistle went has moved forward. Sheís slightly further ahead of Tim Rice and Graham Norton and Tony Hawks in that order. And Jenny itís also your turn to begin and the subject is, oh very good for you, Jenny, high spirits. Sixty seconds starting now.

JE: You donít have to be drunk to have high spirits, though the two things arenít mutually exclusive! I started my journey to Harrogate in high spirits but British Rail put paid to that! Also something else that really unnerved me, how many people were asking Graham for his autograph and ignoring me. So my high spirits turned to sour grapes by the time we got to the station. (in whiny voice) ďOh Mister Norton, can I have your autograph? Oh I think youíre really good...Ē

BUZZ

NP: Tim what was your challenge?

TR: We had a repeat of autograph.

JE: Yes.

NP: We had the autograph before.

JE: So did he! There were about 300 of them!

GN: So the thing was I did try! When I was signing the paper put in my face, I was going ďask her! Iím going to be on this train for hours! Sheíll sulk! Ask her!Ē

JE: ďWho is it? Is it Su Pollard?Ē

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: So er Tim you challenged first and youíve got the subject of high spirits so there are 35 seconds starting now.

TR: This giraffe goes into a bar and says ďthe high balls are on meĒ and all the other animals were extremely thrilled at this fantastically generous cocktail offer. High spirits, I personally go for whisky with just a dash of ice. This is the way the Americans tend to drink it, and normally I donít follow that nation slavishly, but in this particular case I feel that ice is the one thing you can add to that scotch...

BUZZ

NP: And Graham challenged.

GN: Now now, was there a repetition of ice?

NP: There was.

TR: There was, cock!

GN: Was there?

TR: Yes.

GN: Youíre kidding!

TR: Yes.

GN: How funny is that?

NP: Then you listened well, you had a correct challenge and you have 13 seconds, the subject is high spirits starting now.

GN: I imagine that people who go into the other world and turn into spirits...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged.

JE: I wish I hadnít because I was wrong. Iím so sorry!

NP: So what you were thinking?

JE: Spirits but thatís in the title.

NP: Thatís right, yes, you can...

GN: Thatís right!

NP: Just to reassure our listeners, you can not only use the subject, but also any of the words in the subject, you can repeat those in the show and he repeated spirits. So, five seconds, you have another point Graham, and you continue on high spirits starting now.

GN: When I worked in restaurants, we would call them dusty spirits for no-one could be fagged to get the chair to get up there...

WHISTLE

NP: And so Graham Norton speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. Heís now equal with Tim Rice in second place just behind Jenny Eclair and just ahead of Tony Hawks. Tim Rice your turn to begin, the subject is having the last say. There are 60 seconds as usual starting now.

TR: Here is an interesting paradox. I am talking to you tonight and it will be extremely interesting, on having the last say, and yet Iím having the first say...

BUZZ

NP: And Graham challenged you almost immediately, yes?

GN: Repetition of interesting.

TR: No!

NP: No.

GN: Wasnít it interesting paradox, and then youíre going to be very interesting.

TR: Ice I repeated!

GN: I thought I was on a roll! Wasnít it interesting paradox and then...

JE: Interesting and then interested, I think he did.

NP: Yes he said interesting and interested.

JE: Yes.

GN: Iím not at all sure!

NP: Tim you have the benefit of the doubt, you have 53 seconds, having the last say starting now.

TR: Even Heidenbergís Uncertainty Principle doesnít have the paradoxical intrinsic interest that this ...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks challenged.

TR: (cries) Oh!

TH: Heís talking nonsense!

TR: I ground to a complete halt. Iím glad Tony stopped me.

NP: You were, you were going off in a direction youíd never been before, and you thought how the... anyway it doesnít matter. Tony you had a correct challenge, there are 42 seconds available, you have having the last say starting now.

TH: Being a keen observer on life and noticing things other people donít, itís come to my attention that politicians sometimes like to have the last say. I watch them on Question Time and such abeuurgh whatah!

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged first.

JE: Well he developed a speech impediment! And hesitated, hesatahh!

NP: Yes we interpret that as hesitation.

TH: Yes.

NP: So Jenny a correct challenge, 29 seconds, the subject is having the last say starting now.

JE: Itís very important to have the last say when youíre arguing with your partner. As Iím choking...

BUZZ

JE: No can you not Graham, Iíve just got a cough!

NP: Oh Graham... Graham...

GN: Oh that was an excuse!

NP: Itís one of those shows where, have a drink of water...

GN: Repetition of cough!

NP: I think Jenny, Iíve got to be strict within the rules of Just A Minute, you had started and it was unfortunate but that is...

JE: I choked!

NP: That you choked! Graham you have the subject, 25 seconds, having the last say starting now.

GN: Dear God, I wish someone would have the last say on this subject! Giving someone your last rollo is preferable to giving someone the last...

BUZZ

NP: Yes Jenny you challenged.

GN: Yes all right!

JE: Someone.

NP: Someone, so youíve got it back...

JE: Iíve got a point.

NP: Yes youíve got a point and if youíd kept going all that time you wouldnít have got that point. So it all works out in the end, doesnít it. Fifteen seconds...

GN: Youíre right, it is!

NP: Jenny you have the subject back, having the last say, 15 seconds starting now.

JE: The only way to have the last say with your partner is to bore him...

BUZZ

JE: Yes?

NP: Yes Tim you challenged first, yes, what...

TR: There was a repeat of partner.

NP: Thatís right, your partner came into it. Tim you have the subject, you have, which is having the last say, 12 seconds available starting now.

TR: I had a lovely budgie when I was a nipper called Bob ad he was a sweet animal. But he always insisted on having...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Graham?

GN: Deviation, a budgieís not an animal, itís a bird.

NP: Well animals are birds.

TR: Birds are animals.

GN: No, birds are birds, animals are animals. Sheep canít fly!

TR: We are all animals!

NP: Weíre all animals.

TR: You are an animal.

GN: Let me write this down! Itís very deep!

NP: Tim, an incorrect challenge...

TR: Well done!

NP: So you have five seconds to continue on having the last say starting now.

TR: As my final word Iíd like to say the chairmanship of this programme has reached new heights of excellence...

WHISTLE

NP: So Tim Rice speaking as the whistle went has moved forward. Oh and Tim is now equal with Jenny Eclair in the lead, just ahead of Graham Norton and then Tony Hawks in that order. And weíre moving into the final round. And Graham Norton itís your turn to begin, the subject is showing your face. You have 60 seconds as usual starting now.

GN: Showing your face is when you sort of pop into a bar, and go ďhi! Whereís the food?Ē take it all, and leave! And not showing your face could be... not going to a bar...

BUZZ

NP: And Jenny, Jenny you...

JE: He hesitated and then he went into a repeat. It was really bad!

NP: Thatís right, yes.

JE: Yes.

NP: So Jenny...

GN: I didnít deviate though.

JE: No, you didnít! Not yet!

NP: No, no, 52 seconds Jenny, showing your face starting now.

JE: Radio is a very good medium for showing your face on. Thank goodness, we all chorus. Itís the only thing you can do thatís kind to the over 40 year old woman. Oh...

BUZZ

NP: Tony you challenged.

TH: Well she stopped. There are other things you can do!

NP: Yeah there are other thing you can... she stopped! She thought of what she said and brought herself to a halt. Ah Tony correct challenge, another point, 42 seconds, showing your face starting now.

TH: Jenny was absolutely accurate. The beauty of radio is that you donít need to show your face. But the beauty of your voice can...

BUZZ

NP: And Tim challenged first.

TR: Two beauties.

NP: There were two beauties.

TH: Yes youíre right, the beauty of radio.

NP: You have 34 seconds...

TH: It was very pleasing though just to hear you put your hand up and say ďtwo beautiesĒ though!

NP: Ah you have a correct challenge Tim and you have 34 seconds, showing your face starting now.

TR: However unattractive you are, itís usually better to show your face than other parts of your anatomy to complete strangers. On the other hand, if you are intimate with someone, then anything can go. You can let rip you with your elbow, your thigh, your knickers, and your...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Your your your your.

NP: Your your.

TR: Your your. Youíre so right!

NP: You might, you might let one your go but three or four...

TR: Yes I agree, I...

NP: Jenny...

TR: Itís terrible really. Iíve lost form!

NP: Youíre not doing too bad!

TR: Iíd like to go now!

NP: Youíre only three points behind our leader, Jenny Eclair who has the subject, she has 23 seconds, showing your face Jenny starting now.

JE: You donít want to show your face if youíre robbing a bank. Wear a balaclava for heavenís sake. Theyíve got CCTV cameras in...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Graham yes?

GN: It seems churlish but there was CC.

NP: Yes, CC!

JE: Oh!

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Listen, audience...

GN: All right, there wasnít! She just did!

NP: She repeated C! Graham got in first, just, 17 seconds, showing your face starting now.

GN: In remote villages of Yorkshire, county fairs, people enter their faces in competitions. This is known as showing your face...

BUZZ

NP: And Tim challenged.

TR: You wouldnít have a county fair at a remote village. Youíd have it in a fairly important town! A rural centre! Youíd have it somewhere terrific like Harrogate!

NP: Yes thatís right, you have them in the country outside but itís not near a little country village. I think thatís a good um challenge of deviation so..

GN: An annoying challenge!

NP: But accurate so Tim you have got a point of course, 10 seconds are available, tell us something about showing your face starting now.

TR: If you want to look good in a photograph, I recommend you show your face. This is more often than not the best feature...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged first.

TR: I didnít hear it.

TH: I think he said best in the first... round.

NP: Thatís right. When you were talking before Tim, you actually said...

TH: The best thing when they meet something.

NP: The best thing to do is to show your face. So Tony, well listened, you have got in with five seconds to go on the subject, showing your face starting now.

TH: I always show my face whenever I go to a party. Thereís no point in covering it over with...

WHISTLE

NP: Well let me give you the final situation as we have no more time to play Just A Minute. Tony Hawks who has done so well in the past, came up, he only finished just in fourth place. He was, no, no, it doesnít matter. I mean itís the contribution that is so important. And he was a little way behind Graham Norton. And this is very interesting, he was only one point behind Tim Rice. Who was only one point behind Jenny Eclair, so Jenny we say you are the winner this week! It just shows the generosity of the Yorkshire people you know. A lassie from Lancashire and they applaud her to the ceiling for winning the game. Well done! It only remains for me to say thank you to our four fine players of the game, Graham Norton, Jenny Eclair, Tim Rice and Tony Hawks. Thank Janet Staplehurst for helping with the score blowing her whistle so well. We thank our producer Claire Jones for the way she directs it all, and we are deeply indebted to Ian Messiter who created the game. And we are also indebted to this audience here in the Harrogate Theatre who have cheered us on our way in true Yorkshire style! From our audience, from me Nicholas Parsons, from our panel, good-bye, tune in the next time we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC