JAM:WRichard,THawks,RNoble,SPerkins
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring WENDY RICHARD, TONY HAWKS, ROSS NOBLE and SUE PERKINS, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 11 February 2002)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure not only to welcome our many listeners, not only in this country but throughout the world. But also to welcome to our programme this evening four diverse, diverting personalities who are going to pit their wits, their verbal ingenuity, their creative intelligence against each other, as they try and speak for Just A Minute on a subject that I give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from the subject. And we welcome back after a long absence from the show, that formidable player of the game, Wendy Richard. We welcome back also another forceful player of the game, that is Sue Perkins. And we welcome two exciting comic performers. We have that original humorist Ross Noble. And the other equally talented humorist Tony Hawks. Would you please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Janet Staplehurst whoís going to help me keep the score, and sheíll blow her whistle when 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the beautiful refurbished Kingís Theatre in the Southsea area of that great city of Portsmouth.

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: And as youíve just realised we have an enthusiastic Hampshire audience in front of us to cheer us on our way and encourage us. As we start the show with Tony Hawks. Tony the subject is the wild west. Tell us something about the wild west in Just A Minute starting now.

TONY HAWKS: This town aint big enough for the both of us! Might be the kind of thing you would have heard in the wild west. But as the founding fathers set off on the Mayflower, planning a life in the New World, they would have hoped it might have been rather passive. But as they headed further west, settling new territories, it became wilder and more wild as they...

BUZZ

NP: Sue Perkins youíve challenged.

SUE PERKINS: Stumbling hesitation, or when he crossed the territories there was hesitation.

NP: I think...

SP: He felt tired...

NP: I think yes he was trying to get away from saying wilder again, so he hesitated in that process. So Sue you have a correct challenge, you get a point for that of course, you take over the subject, the wild west and there are 37 seconds available starting now.

SP: Before the wild west came the tame west. And before then came the very timid west...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks has challenged.

TH: Ah repetition of before.

NP: Before then.

SP: Damn it, youíre right!

NP: Tony youíve got the subject back, another point for a correct challenge and 33 seconds available, the wild west starting now.

TH: If youíve ever been to Bristol on a Friday night, youíll know what the wild west is like. They come flocking out of the pubs, full of beer and whatever theyíve managed to get inside those establishments. And they throw themselves around the place. But not just in that particular west country town, but it can happen ah drew ah...

BUZZ

NP: Ross Noble you challenged.

ROSS NOBLE: (Trying to mimic Tonyís stumble) Ah totiwaaaah!

NP: Within the rules...

RN: Ahtotiwaaah!

NP: ... of Just A Minute, what do you think your challenge is?

RN: It was a kind of hesitation.

NP: Yes a stumble on language, and so we call that hesitation. All right Ross, 15 seconds available, and you start now.

RN: The wild west was a place where cowboys lived. And it was also a place where Indians lived...

BUZZ

NP: And Wendy...

RN: Oh!

WENDY RICHARD: Two places, I think.

NP: Yes thatís right.

RN: It was just rubbish!

TH: Mind you, we were all going to learn a lot about the wild west if youíd carried on, I think!

RN: Yeah! Yeah thatís true!

NP: But if you donít play the game all that frequently, you easily slip up. And Wendy youíve got in on the wild west, so weíre hearing from everybody in the first round, thatís good. Eleven seconds available Wendy starting now.

WR: Apart from football, if thereís one thing I cannot stand is movies about the wild west! All those butch cowboys running around in their leather chaps chasing...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On that occasion it was Wendy Richard so at the end of the round they all have a point and Wendy has two. Ah Wendy take the next round, very apt for Portsmouth, the Navy. Sixty seconds as usual starting now.

WR: The Navy, the senior service of this country! Theyíre all absolutely marvellous! And when you see them in their uniforms especially the ones that have the scrambled egg on their shoulders, I think they are so smart! No wonder many a young girlís head is turned by these handsome men you see... in the correct...

BUZZ

NP: I think the image got you carried away!

WR: It did! It did!

NP: You just hesitated there. So Sue you were in first, right...

SP: I was enjoying the reverie though! Ah I saw it in my head and I was going with it. There was a bit of hesitation.

NP: Sue you were the first to challenge and you got in on the navy and a point to you of course. Thirty-nine seconds available starting now.

SP: In The Navy, that famous song done by the famous combo, the Village People...

BUZZ

SP: Not again!

NP: Yes you did it again!

SP: Why?

NP: You did it again, Tony you challenged.

TH: Yes repetition of famous.

NP: Famous yes, well done. Thirty-five seconds starting now.

TH: I actually come from a Naval family because my father was in the Merchant navy, a captain indeed. And he used to regale us over the evenings with many a story of how he would come to Portsmouth and enjoy the joys of evening life there. My mother wasnít too keen on some of these! But we did not go into that! The Navy of course is much nicer now than it would have been, say, three or four hundred...

BUZZ

NP: Sue you challenged.

SP: Well just because I felt I ought to! Because itís twice now heís challenged me, and there was a tiny window, a tiny moment when the brain wasnít moving on that might have been hesitation. And please give it to me!

NP: Well Sue, I do have to be fair within the rules of Just A Minute. And as much as your pleading actually...

SP: Itís pathetic, isnít it!

NP: No, no, no, no, no, it isnít. Itís delightful because the audience laughed and thatís what itís all about. Tony, an incorrect challenge, you get a point for that and you have nine seconds to continue on the Navy starting now.

TH: I very much enjoy that famous song, In The Navy...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Ross challenged.

RN: Did he not say that his mother enjoyed listening to the...

NP: Thatís right.

RN: I think that was repetition.

NP: Thatís right, yes.

SP: Oh!

NP: He actually said enjoyed the joys, but ah, that was legitimate, but he did repeat the word enjoy.

RN: Oh aye!

NP: So well listened Ross, you have the subject, you have the Navy, you have six seconds starting now.

RN: Navy blue is one of my favourite colours. Itís much better than Army cerise, or the other particular...

BUZZ

RN: Itís the Air Force, isnít it! Thatís the other one! Army, Navy, Air Force. I was thinking of the Sea Scouts!

NP: Army cerise! I think thatís a lovely word! Wendy you were in first so you have, oh, clever girl! Only half a second to talk on the Navy starting now.

WR: The Navy, what...

WHISTLE

NP: So Wendy Richard speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point, and once again sheís moved forward. Sheís actually just one ahead of Tony Hawks, and then Sue Perkins and Ross Noble equal. Very close! And Sue your turn to begin, the subject, coffee shops. Sixty seconds starting now.

SP: Often at night I wake in a sweat, wondering to myself why are there not more coffee shops in the United Kingdom. There seem to be a huge vacuum in the three shops in my local high street, Starbucks, Costacofee, to name just two, which means you can go just three or four steps and find yourself with a cappuccino or a frappuccino or a mochachino or a decafe filter deluxe...

BUZZ

NP: Tony you challenged.

TH: There were about three or four ďor aĒs there.

NP: There were three or four ors, yes.

TH: Normally...

SHOUTS OF ďAWWWWWWĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

TH: Well normally we let a couple go, but when there are four in a row we step in!

NP: Itís all very well you being partisan, but these are the rules of Just A Minute!

TH: Itís the tradition!

NP: So Tony a correct challenge, 40 seconds available, you tell us something about coffee shops starting now.

TH: I always order a cup of tea when I go into a coffee shop, because I am something of a rebel figure, and I like to beat the system! But like Sue, I have noticed how many coffee shops there are in this country now and it is disturbing. Although I was reading in a newspaper article not long ago that they are losing money, quite a lot of them. And thatís pleasing, isnít it! Anyway I once ordered myself, thatís possibly something...

BUZZ

NP: Wendy youíve challenged.

WR: Two orders.

TH: Definitely.

NP: You ordered too much.

TH: Yes.

NP: And that is repetition within the rules of Just A Minute. So Wendy, a correct challenge, another point, and 14 seconds available, coffee shops, starting now.

WR: There are far too many coffee shops about! As a tea drinker, I think there ought to be more parlours for this other beverage, and less of the coffee shop. And the prices they charge! Over a pound for a cafe latte!

WHISTLE

NP: So once again Wendy Richard was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. With others in the round sheís moved forward. So you can see if you get in just before the end, and keep going, you increase your lead more rapidly. So Ross, itís your turn to begin, Ross Noble. Oh the subject, diets. Sixty seconds starting now.

RN: A lot of people say that crash diets simply donít work. Well this is nonsense. If you drive a small car into a wall, you will find that when they wire your jaw up, youíll be unable to take in any food! Youíd have to be pretty much a determined porker in order to get that stuff through the jaws area, maybe with a small syringe or pipet device. Soup is the best because it is mixed up. The solids tend to smack against the grilling. The Weight Watchers is also an excellent way of going about losing weight. Simply get a sniper to watch from a distance, and then every time you attempt to put a large piece of cake or chocolate into your mouth, the laser sighting will go down on to the sticky confectionery type substance and blow it clean out of the palm of your hand! Once the fingers have been removed, you will also find it very difficult to pick... things out of it...

BUZZ

APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

SP: Iím withdrawing!

RN: Damn you Perkins!

SP: Iím withdrawing! I was trigger happy, Iím withdrawing!

NP: The audience round of applause showed how much they appreciated it.

SP: Yes Iím withdrawing my objection.

NP: Ross I have to tell you, which wonít endear Sue to this audience. You went for 57 seconds!

SP: No!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: You not only... this is the agony of the show, he doesnít get any points for that! A point for a correct challenge and three seconds on diets starting now.

BUZZ

SP: Ross you can buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz me Ross!

NP: He has buzzed you!

RN: I already had!

NP: Whatís your challenge?

RN: Whatís my challenge? Spite, pure spite!

NP: You could have actually had her for repetition of buzz.

RN: Yes, buzz buzz, that was it!

NP: Sue you got your point where you did challenge and got in, for a second there. And Ross has got it back again, youíve got two seconds on diets Ross starting now.

RN: Diets...

BUZZ

NP: Wendy challenged.

WR: A bit of a hesitation there.

NP: There was no hesitation at all! Well tried, you almost got in on the end of each subject, but not quite Wendy. Another point to Ross, half a second to go, diets Ross starting now.

RN: Diets as I said...

WHISTLE

NP: So Ross Noble was speaking as the whistle went and gained that extra point and he deserved points in that round which he got. And including one for speaking as the whistle went. So heís now equal with Wendy Richard in the lead, but theyíre only two points ahead of our equal seconds, Sue Perkins and Tony Hawks. And Tony your turn to begin and what a delightful subject, the World Service. Tell us something about the World Service in Just A Minute starting now.

TH: A friend of mine, John Sweeney, a journalist for the Observer, was driving through northern Iraq when the radio came on and he heard the dulcet tones of Nicholas Parsons saying ďwelcome to Just A MinuteĒ. Is there nowhere in the world where you are safe from this man? He was reporting on the Kurdish troubles and felt this would not happen to him, and yet he was plummeted into depression by the sound of our esteemed chairmanís voice. Fortunately I was speaking next so he cheered up a bit! The World Service, not many people know this, is actually funded by the Foreign Office and not from the license fee of the British Broadcasting Corporation which a lot of people would expect to be the case. But no, it isnít, Iím telling you now. So listen carefully and write...

BUZZ

NP: Ross Noble challenged.

RN: Repetition of isnít.

NP: Isnít yes.

RN: isnít funded by the BBC, isnít.

NP: Right, well listened...

SHOUTS OF ďAWWWWĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: What do you mean oh?

RN: Now I know what it feels like to be Sue!

NP: The audience are taking sides already. So correct challenge Ross, you have another point of course, 13 seconds available, the World Service starting now.

RN: I really like the idea of African tribesman getting a small transistor radio and being able to listen to this show. And thatís the only way that they can learn English. How fun it would be to move into the village to hear them say ďit is nice to greet you...Ē

WHISTLE

NP: Ross Noble was speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. Heís moved ahead in the lead. And Wendyís turn to begin. The subject Wendy, laundrettes!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: I wonder why they thought of laundrettes for Wendy Richard. Anyway Wendy talk on the subject in Just A Minute starting now.

WR: My local laundrette does not have charming friendly person like Pauline to help you with your service washes. Oh no! We have a chap called Jeff...

BUZZ

NP: Ross Noble challenged.

RN: Iím going to go for deviation, because you were very very nasty to Peggy and thatís not charming at all!

WR: Iíve never been nasty to Peggy in the laundrette! She had the cheek the other week to come in and complain...

RN: (laughs, then in Cockney accent) Leave it out! Youíre bang out of order!

WR: ... about the prices, about the price of the service wash in my laundrette!

NP: Right, I should explain to all our listeners on the World Service! At this present moment, Wendy Richard is referring to Pauline, the character she plays in East Enders...

TH: Yes...

WR: East Enders goes abroad Nicholas! A lot of people, I get fan mail from all over the world, donít worry!

SP: Yes!

NP: The Kurdish tribes donít get it!

SP: Yet!

RN: But I, but I...

NP: It doesnít go to China, does it?

WR: Give it time! Give it time!

SP: Yeah!

NP: Give it time, yes. So Wendy he, you werenít deviating within the rules of Just A Minute. So you keep the subject, another point of course, and you have 50 seconds still to talk about laundrettes starting now.

WR: On one occasion when my own personal washing machine at home broke down, I had to go into the local laundrette. Not one person came to my assistance. I didnít know how to work the machine in there. And I could feel these women...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Was that repetition of machine.

NP: It was Iím afraid.

WR: I think it might have been, sorry Ross.

NP: No, donít apologise to him Wendy, because heís happy. He gets the subject, if he wants the subject. Anyway, 33 seconds available Ross, laundrettes starting now.

RN: Thereís a laundrette just up the road from here which has got one of the most amazing services that Iíve ever seen. Not only can you wash your clothes, but there is a pool table, right next door to the equipment. They sell, oh they donít...

BUZZ

NP: Tony Hawks you challenged first.

TH: I think that was a hesitation.

NP: There was a hesitation.

RN: Yes the reason I hesitated was that I thought how many people on the World Service are going to know about the local laundries?

NP: Tony you have laundrettes, and you have 19 seconds starting now.

TH: In America I understand that they have singles laundrettes where theyíve worked out this is a good place to meet people. But the sight of somebodyís spoiled underwear going round and round...

BUZZ

NP: Sue challenged.

SP: Repetition of round.

TH: Yes.

NP: Yes.

TH: And I said spoiled instead of soiled.

NP: I know! I noticed it! Nobody picked you up on it.

TH: Whatís the difference?

WR: You were obviously using the wrong washing powder!

NP: And I suppose it depends how soiled they are. If theyíre so soiled they become spoiled.

WR: Nicholas, donít letís go down that road!

TH: Spoiled underwear is underwear you take out to dinner, always let it have its own way, give it everything it wants...

NP: Right so Sue you had a, you were the first to challenge, correct and er eight seconds on laundrettes starting now.

SP: Iím a big fan of Tonyís idea of a singles laundrette where one turns up late at night to meet a significant other whilst the tumble drier goes round and about and...

WHISTLE

NP: So Sue Perkins was then speaking as the whistle went and gained that extra point. The situation now is very close. Ross Nobleís just in the lead, followed by Wendy Richard, one ahead of Sue Perkins, one ahead of Tony Hawks in that order. Sue itís your turn to begin. The subject is the content of my pockets. I donít know if you have any pockets but tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

SP: For those listening on the World Service, Iím not actually wearing trousers. Instead Iíve opted, in this rather hot environment, for a thin cammasol, some fishnets and some unfeasibly high kittenmules. I donít wear spectacles. In fact the long tresses of my blonde hair flow down my enormous curvaceous figure, 36, 24...

BUZZ

SP: Donít interrupt me! Iím pl... Iím enjoying the moment!

NP: Youíve challenged?

TH: Deviation.

SP: I was just explaining I donít have pockets!

NP: No but it was good fun within Just A Minute, wasnít it. But deviation yes because her description was contrary to what part of...

SP: How dare you!

NP: The blonde tresses do not coincide with that delightful dark black hair that you have um...

SP: As opposed to my light black hair?

WR: Thatís rubbish, dark black hair, how can you have light black?

SP: Youíre saying...

NP: You do have light black hair.

SP: Black is black!

NP: You can have light black or dark black, I mean the Highland people of Scotland have very jet black hair and itís referred to as jet black, thatís very dark. You can have a less dark...

WR: She hasnít got jet black hair, sheís got brown hair! Heís got, his hairís nearer black than hers!

SP: Sheís got brown hair, the man there has got white hair...

RN: There will now be a short interval!

NP: Thereís no point, and theyíre fighting! Ross Noble has jet black hair for our listeners who want to have a visual image of the people here...

RN: Mineís actually brown hair dyed! So in many ways Iíve got light black hair.

NP: I didnít want to bring your, your personal secrets into this, but er Sueís in utterly natural and itís a light black or a dark brown. I donít mind, it doesnít really matter within Just A Minute. So who challenged?

TH: I did about an hour and a half ago!

SP: I was trying to get to a point!

NP: Deviation yes yes, the description was not accurate. Forty-two seconds for you Tony on the content of my pockets starting now.

TH: The content of my pockets depends on how Iím going to spend the day. And today I was coming to Portsmouth so naturally I filled it full...

BUZZ

WR: We had two days didnít we?

NP: Well he said today and then he said day.

WR: I wasnít sure, is today one word or two?

NP: No, itís a hyphenated word but itís become, I think itís become one word.

TH: Today is one word. Thereís no hyphen in it. Iíll spell it for you.

NP: There used to be...

WR: In that case, I beg your pardon.

NP: No, in my youth it was hyphenated, probably, I donít know...

TH: Well we canít go back that far!

NP: So now it is joined up and today and day are different words Wendy. So well tried...

RN: Itís very hard to hyphenate something on a stone tablet as well!

NP: Yes...

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: That got the indifferent response it deserved! Tony, an incorrect challenge, 33 seconds available, the contents of my pockets starting now.

TH: I tend to carry hair dye depending on whether I want dark black or jet hair. And on this occasion...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

WR: Two hairs.

NP: Yes?

RN: What...

NP: No he didnít get to the word hair actually.

WR: He did.

NP: Did he?

WR: Depending on what hair you want...

NP: Oh yes right, well listened Wendy, well listened.

TH: Yes.

NP: Twenty-five seconds, the content of my pockets starting now.

WR: I have very little in my pockets, because otherwise I find that you just fill Ďem all up with rubbish. Sort of cigarette packets, lighters, rolled up kleenex, dog biscuits, depending if one is going to take oneís favourite pet for a walk. It all depends also on what...

BUZZ

NP: Tony challenged.

TH: Ah repetition of depends.

NP: Depends.

WR: And struggling like mad, Tony! I thought youíd never press that buzzer!

NP: Right, a tough subject then, Tony, correct challenge, another point, the content of my pockets, six seconds starting now.

TH: Full of money because Iím coming to Portsmouth and I want to go to the laundrette where they have...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: I think he said full before.

NP: Yes he did say full before.

RN: Yes.

NP: Of all kinds of things. Right at the beginning when you started Tony. Well listened. Oh thereís a buzz going around the audience. Oh theyíre getting aggressive. Right so three seconds are available for you Ross on the content of my pockets starting now.

RN: I have fluff in my pockets, thatís right, Alan Freeman...

WHISTLE

NP: So Ross Noble is pushing further ahead, another point for speaking as the whistle went. Heís slightly increased his lead over Wendy Richard and Tony Hawks equal in second place, followed closely by Sue Perkins. So itís still quite a close contest as we move into the final round. And Tony your turn to begin. The subject, toffee. Tell us something about toffee in Just A Minute starting now.

TH: Iím not exactly sure how you make toffee. But I imagine if you took some butter, water and something else...

BUZZ

NP: Ross challenged.

RN: Yeah well he just doesnít know, does he! And not only that, you canít just imagine it! You canít! Iím no cook but you canít sit there and go ďoh imagine that, oh, Iíve got coffeeĒ.

NP: In Just A Minute, if a subject is suddenly thrown at you, whether you know about it or not, you have to try and continue to speak on it. And he can admit his ignorance on the subject and still keep going.

RN: I guess so.

NP: So within that context, he wasnít actually deviating.

RN: Okay but within the context that I want, he was!

NP: We enjoyed the interruption but it wasnít a correct one. Tony another point to you, 51 seconds, toffee starting now.

TH: I wonder if any of this lovely audience in Portsmouth have done what I once did, biting in to a toffee, expecting it to be soft, only to find it was very hard indeed. My teeth hurt quite a lot after that incident. Iím going to work that into a magnificent anecdote...

BUZZ

NP: Ross you challenged.

RN: He was already starting to hesitate, deviate, all at once!

NP: So what do you want, your challenge?

SP: Youíre predicting!

RN: Yeah! Iím working in the future.

SP: Youíre like a Just A Minute soothsayer!

NP: You canít have psychic challenges.

RN: Okay sorry.

TH: I think that Ross has got something... just because he knows how to make toffee, he wants to get in!

NP: So give me, give me...

RN: Sorry I thought it was a bit of hesitation.

NP: There was a bit of hesitation. So the benefit of the doubt goes to Ross on this one. He has 33 seconds on toffee starting now.

RN: I am an expert on making toffee. My father was a master toffee maker. And as a child he taught me the ways of that particular profession. He gave me a tiny toffee hammer, and I felt like Thor the Norse God but not quite as powerful because it was much more confectionery based which was a little bit sad, it has to be said. If you take condensed milk and leave it on top of...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Tony challenged.

TH: Heís going to give the wrong recipe!

LOUD LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: So what is your actual challenge?

TH: Um frustration!

NP: The thing is that he could give the wrong recipe...

WR: But then it would be deviation because heís not talking about toffee.

RN: I didnít give the wrong recipe yet though.

WR: You were going to give the recipe for fudge!

SP: He was giving the recipe for some sorts of Norse Gods playing with some enormous...

NP: Please, he can give the wrong recipe, and not know anything about it. He can give the wrong recipe but still talk on the subject of toffee and you can say at the end that was...

WR: He canít! Heís talking about making fudge, as soon as he said condensed milk, we knew...

NP: All right!

RN: You didnít, you didnít let me...

NP: I try to be fair, I try to show the wisdom of Solomon here...

WR: I know how to make toffee!

SP: So do I! No-oneís ever asked me!

NP: But youíve got to challenge correctly to get it...

TH: Sue, you and I letís go for a drink after the show, you tell me how to do it...

WR: I know too!

TH: ... because Iím not having his recipe!

RN: Iím just...

SP: Can I just say you havenít even mentioned the thermometer that is absolutely essential in making toffee!

RN: Iím going to give you a bit of wisdom on the toffee making...

NP: But you havenít got the subject because last time I did give the benefit of the doubt to you Ross...

RN: Itís just as well to be honest with you!

NP: Nine seconds Tony on toffee starting now.

TH: I donít think Rossís Dad was a master...

BUZZ

NP: Ah wait a minute, Ross challenged.

RN: Deviation, he was!

NP: How can we know? How can we know that? That, occasionally, I do have an impossible decision. So because I donít know if his Dad was a toffee er...

TH: Yes but Nicholas I said I donít think his Dad was a, so really it is irrelevant whether he was or not.

NP: Thatís very true, yes.

TH: And his Dad wasnít a master toffee maker!

RN: You take that back!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

TH: I withdraw that, that was underhand and unfair.

NP: Thatís right. So youíve got another point...

TH: Yes.

NP: And you have seven seconds on toffee starting now.

TH: My mother was a mistress toffee maker! And she used to go out many times in the er...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: Oh Sue, Sue you challenged just before the whistle.

SP: Just hesitation.

NP: No there wasnít actually.

WR: He was hesitating!

SP: It was, thank you Wendy!

RN: I thought it was as well.

SP: There was a stumble. You can ooh and ah, but Iím last and Iíve got to do whatever it takes to get a point! Iím working with nothing here!

NP: Sue youíve got the audience on your side and now you are going to have the benefit of the doubt and so you have half, no, one second on toffee starting now.

SP: Surrounded as I am by...

WHISTLE

NP: So Sue Perkins speaking as the whistle went gained that extra point. And the final situation is that Sue Perkins who hasnít been with us for quite a while, but came back with a flourish and a charm and a different appearance...

SP: And Iím in last place Nicholas! And thereís no nice way to put that! But I do appreciate the time and trouble youíre taking to do so! Thanks!

NP: I donít think you must feel like that Sue, because youíre only just one point behind Wendy Richard who was in third place. And she was only two points behind Tony Hawks who was in second place. But three or four points ahead of them was Ross Noble, so we say Ross, this week you are our winner! It only remains for me to say thank you to our four fine and exciting and delightful players of the game, Tony Hawks, Wendy Richard, Sue Perkins and Ross Noble. And I thank Janet Staplehurst for helping with the score, blowing her whistle so well. We thank our producer director that is Claire Jones. We are indebted to Ian Messiter who created this game which we enjoy playing. And we are very grateful to our lovely audience here in the Kingís Theatre in the Southsea who have encouraged us in our antics magnificently! From our audience here in Southsea, from me Nicholas Parsons, and our panel, good-bye, tune in the next time we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC