JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,PJones,SHancock
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, PETER JONES and SHEILA HANCOCK, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 16 March 1977)


THEME MUSIC

ANNOUNCER: We present Sheila Hancock, Peter Jones, Derek Nimmo and Kenneth Williams in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman Nicholas Parsons.

NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you very much, hello and welcome once again to Just A Minute. And as youíve just heard we are delighted to welcome back our guest, to be our guest this week, Sheila Hancock who usually does so well when she competes against our three regular competitors. And as usual I will ask them if they can speak for Just A Minute on the subject that I will give them without hesitation, without repetition and without deviating from the subject on the card. And weíre going to begin the show this week with Derek Nimmo and the subject is peanuts. So Derek will you try and talk for Just A Minute on that subject starting now.

DEREK NIMMO: I suppose last year in a way could be considered the year of the peanut because Mister Jimmy Carter who manufactures them became President of the United States of America...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Kenneth Williams.

KENNETH WILLIAMS: Well you can't manufacture peanuts. I suppose when they're grown you could collect them. You could do very many things with them, you could package them. But you can't manufacture nuts!

NP: No, I think that's a good challenge, he was deviating. So Kenneth you've started off with a flourish. You've got the first point and you take over the subject and there are 49 seconds left starting now.

KW: Wait a minute!

NP: Oh sorry!

BUZZ

KW: Wait a minute, I am not quite clear. What is the subject?

NP: Didn't I give it to you? Then I will say again that you have 49 seconds to talk on the subject of peanuts starting now.

KW: Well there's cobnuts for your cob and there's peanuts...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Repetition of cob for cob.

KW: No I said cobnuts, that's hyphenated, you great nit! I mean really!

NP: Anyway he said cobnuts for your cob, he didn't say cobs.

DN: No...

NP: So he didn't repeat...

KW: It's no good you trying to get in. He's trying to get back on nuts! He's furious that I won that challenge! Isn't he! You see it, don't you! Yes you see it!

NP: Kenneth you don't have to get your supporters club on your side because I'm with you on this one! So you have a point for an incorrect challenge, you keep the subject of peanuts and there are 44 seconds left starting now.

KW: And chestnuts for your chest. Rubbed in there's as good an emollient as the finest...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: You can't rub a chestnut in. You can rub the oil from a chestnut...

KW: Have you tried it, mate? I use...

NP: He said used as an emollient!

KW: I've used it...

DN: He hadn't said that during the, during...

NP: He did say it immediately after...

KW: He's very anti-me, you see! You can tell it a mile off!

DN: You can't rub a chestnut in!

NP: No but you can rub it in as an emollient, whether it works or not is another matter! But it would probably make you very ill! Derek, Kenneth...

PETER JONES: Nobody out there's switched on any more! They've all switched off! Except a few nuts!

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Kenneth I disagree with his challenge and you still have the subject and there are 39 seconds for peanuts starting now.

KW: When they're salted in a little dish, you know, on the dress table, with cocktails, it's awfully pleasant just to have the odd salted peanut. And I...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SHEILA HANCOCK: Salted, salted.

KW: Oh she's sharp, that one, isn't she? Straight out of the knife box.

NP: This time it was a correct challenge against you Kenneth, so Sheila has got a point for that with 31 seconds on peanuts Sheila starting now.

SH: One of the most delightful occupations is to buy a bag of peanuts at the zoo and feed them to the various monkeys who receive them with great appreciation. There is also a little cartoon character called Peanuts. I don't know very much about him but I know he has a dog called Snoopy...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: If she doesn't know much about it, she shouldn't talk about it! I on the other hand want to tell you the story!

NP: Well Peter I'm afraid you'll have to keep it because she wasn't deviating from the subject, even if she doesn't know much about it, she still has to keep going in the game and she wasn't deviating. So she has 15 seconds to continue on peanuts starting now.

SH: Well if it's a good story, I'll give you a quick repetition. Snoopy!

BUZZ

NP: And Derek Nimmo challenged. Oh she gave it to you to challenge Peter...

DN: Repetition, I challenged!

PJ: Oh yes I see what you mean, yes!

NP: Derek Nimmo your challenge please?

PJ: Hesitation!

DN: Repetition.

NP: Repetition of Snoopy, Derek you got in before Peter alas, and there are 11 seconds for peanuts starting now.

DN: Two peanuts walking down Piccadilly and one was assaulted is I suppose one of the oldest stories about peanuts in the whole business. I'm sure that isn't the one that Peter Jones would like to tell you. So over to you Peter now!

WHISTLE

NP: Well Ian Messiter blows his whistle after 60 seconds and whoever is speaking at that moment gains an extra point. It was Derek Nimmo on this occasion and at the end of the first round he's equal with Sheila in second place and Kenneth Williams is in the lead. And...

SH: He hasn't said anything!

NP: He never stopped... Kenneth never stopped talking!

SH: In the lead? In the lead?

NP: At the beginning of the show, listeners, I must explain, he fell off the chair with surprise you see.

KW: Oh I say! Nice! That is nice though!

NP: What's the story Peter?

PJ: No, well I can't tell it now.

NP: Oh I thought it might have been about peanuts.

KW: He's gone off the boil!

PJ: Well yes, you...

NP: Kenneth will you begin the next round please. The subject is pottering about. A thing you never do usually Iím sure. But will you talk about it if you can in Just A Minute starting now.

KW: I was pottering around in the gardens, of course St James on Creighton Road actually. And I found an extraordinary derelict sitting on a public bench. I asked "what are you doing?" He said "Iím pottering around, Iím often here and I found this old farthing." I said "good gracious me!"

BUZZ

KW: Where...

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Could we have sub titles?

KW: Donít clap him, heís a bore! Donít clap him, youíre encouraging him!

NP: Yes it might be encouraging him. You werenít very clear but as far as I could hear you didnít deviate from the subject so...

KW: No! Thank you! Mmmmm! Very nice of you! Youíre not giving very much away are you dear?

NP: Iím giving...

KW: I would like a few points!

NP: Iím giving a point to you...

KW: Oh I take it back, I beg your pardon, youíre a very good chairman!

NP: Yes you soon change your tune donít you! Iíve never known anybody switch sides so often with such speed! And with such, such, whatís the word, it doesnít matter! Letís get on with the game. Pottering about, Kenneth and you have um 44 seconds starting now.

KW: "Pottering about in Vauxhall," she said, "was where my aunt Edwina reposed until the great pantechnicon, she arrived with all these peculiar relics, among which I found the Edwardian farthing. I said "really! You know...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of farthing.

NP: Yes you had that farthing before.

KW: Oh this was hyphenated. Edwardian-farthing!

NP: Theyíll try anything wonít they! In a minute or two heíll be shouting to you to applaud him!

DN: Hahhahaha!

SH: Unbelievable! Oh!

NP: Kenneth would you get back on your seat if you possibly can sit on it! Control your manic enthusiasm and let Peter take over the subject with 29 seconds for pottering about starting now.

PJ: Pottering about is the description that other people give to my activities when Iím in my workshop or in the garden. Perhaps designing a glider or a faster than er...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Yes he couldnít think what it was faster than. There are 18 seconds left for pottering about Derek starting now.

DN: Pottering about in my woodshed I one day found something very nasty indeed. It had eight legs and a large body. I peered at it closely through a pair of spectacles that happened to be in my breast pocket and this creature came towards me. And I knew then and always will...

WHISTLE

NP: So Derek pottering about in the depths of his woodshed kept going until the whistle went, got an extra point and increased his lead at the end of the round. Peter Jones, weíre back with you to start. The subject is tricks. Will you tell us about that, as we all indulge in many tricks in Just A Minute, but would you talk about them starting now.

PJ: Well tricks are what people get up to. They keep them up in boxes. Conjurors do them. Thereís one sawing the woman in half. you donít see it so often nowadays, they canít get the women! But not only that, there are the vanishing tricks, people climbing up ropes, and er there...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams challenged.

KW: Well hesitation.

NP: Yes Iím afraid there was so Kenneth you have a correct challenge and you have 42 seconds for tricks starting now.

KW: One was played on me! Itís something like apple pie bed or some rubbish, I donít know. Anyway I got into this bed and it was awful!

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock challenged.

SH: Bed. Repetition of bed.

NP: Yes you were in the bed once before Kenneth Iím sorry. There are 35 seconds left for tricks Sheila starting now.

SH: Tricks are what you win in whist when you get a, a round...

BUZZ

SH: Ah oops!

KW: Ah her diction got hopelessly mixed up...

SH: Yes!

KW: ... that time so I have to say hesitation.

NP: Yes and you would be right. And you have 29 seconds to take back the subject of tricks starting now.

KW: What ...

PJ: Thank God for that! I must say Iím very pleased to hear that! No Iím very pleased you got it back because I wanted to hear what you were up to in bed!

KW: Oh thank you...

PJ: I could have challenged myself but curiosity got the better of me! Iíd rather know than win!

NP: Peter...

PJ: Tell us!

NP: Thank you for your contribution. We enjoyed it.

PJ: Thatís quite all right!

NP: Weíll now hear from Kenneth...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila why did you challenge?

SH: Hesitation, itís ages since you told him to start!

PJ: No he didnít! Shut up!

KW: I didnít even start!

NP: Weíre going to hear from Kenneth now with 26 seconds to go on tricks starting now.

KW: One of the tricks my friend plays is to answer the telephone and pretending...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of plays.

NP: The tricks? Yes because he played a trick with the apple pie bed. Thatís perfectly correct Derek, well done. There are 22 seconds for tricks with you Derek starting now.

DN: Well Sheila reminded me about going to whist drives. Gosh, one has to be so careful not to trump oneís partners trick, doesnít one? The second player plays low, third...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones.

PJ: Repetition of one.

KW: Yes you did say it twice! Doesnít one have...

NP: Yes...

KW: ... to be careful not to trump oneís partners trick, doesnít one.

NP: Peter, 15 seconds with you, tricks, starting now.

PJ: A lot of them are done with water and some can be performed with rabbits. And when you can combine the two itís a really remarkable exhibition. Because one holds the top hat in oneís left hand over the table...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock challenged.

SH: One, repetition of one.

NP: Yes Iím afraid you did one then.

PJ: Oh really?

NP: Youíre wicked the lot of you! Thereís one second left Sheila for tricks starting now.

WHISTLE

SH: Tricks are often played...

NP: Who challenged, nobody? Well Sheila didnít say anything in the one second and nobody challenged so she got the point for speaking as the whistle went and sheís creeping up on Derek Nimmo which is rather devious when you come to think of it. Sheís only two points behind him. But Peter Jones and Kenneth William, Kenneth Williams have got a lot of points in that round. Kennethís now in second place, equal with Sheila Hancock and Peterís only two points behind. Derek Nimmo it's your turn to begin, the subject is fowl. I donít mean the subject is foul, that is the title of the subject. And will you talk about it for Just A Minute starting now.

DN: Yes of course, Iím realising that it can be spelt many different ways. I have a lovely old fouling piece which I would like to show to the audience if they have a few moments after the show and Iíd ask them back to my establishment where I keep this in a cupboard. Itís a very useful thing which I take off with me to Norfolk quite frequently and blaze away at birds that are silly enough to fly into the sky. If one goes to a football match on the other hand one quite often sees other fellows tripping...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones.

PJ: Deviation.

NP: Why?

PJ: Well heís talking about birds that are silly enough to fly into the sky. I mean where else can they fly?

NP: Actually they can fly out of the sky into the hedgerow canít they? So he wasnít really deviating...

KW: Oh don't talk such rubbish! Of course heís deviating! Peterís quite right! Birds have to fly! Thatís the very reason theyíre created isnít it! You wouldnít see birds walking along!

NP: They might be walking along. My little budgie walks along the top of the mirror and comes under my finger...

PJ: Yes but he hasnít got Nimmo blazing away at him!

NP: No doubt! Heís warned me not to ask Derek Nimmo up to the house now! Weíll hide the budgie if he does come!

PJ: Quite right! Heís not only shooting them but heís insulting them as well. Thatís what I object to!

NP: Derek Iím afraid you were not deviating so you keep the subject and there are 34 seconds, fowl, starting now.

DN: When I went to the farmyard the other day there were lots of little fowls running around there on the ground. They were very happy, Peter Jones will be pleased about that, because theyíd had their wings clipped and...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Where else would they be running around?

NP: So what is your challenge?

DN: I had no reason to say theyíve got to be running around anywhere else. They were simply running around on the ground, theyíre not supposed to be anywhere else.

NP: What is your challenge Peter then?

PJ: Well I mean...

DN: If I said they were running around in the sky!

NP: What is your challenge?

PJ: No! Itís so boring!

NP: It is but it isnít strictly speaking deviating from the subject on the card. But itís very nice to hear from you so consistently. And there are 27 seconds on fowl with you Derek starting now.

DN: I guess that was one of the foulest challenges Iíve ever heard in the long history of playing this game! The way that Peter Jones sits there, just because heís in Clement Freudís chair...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila has challenged.

SH: Repetition of Peter Jones.

NP: Yes you Peter, you mentioned Peter Jones. While some of us say you canít have too much of Peter Jones, in Just A Minute you can in the same round. You did, you mentioned him before Derek. And I was listening, I have to listen and itís quite a strain sometimes. Youíre looking at me there as if youíre going to get your fullard out and shoot me down with the birds. There are 19 seconds for um fowl with you Sheila starting now.

SH: Fowl is something which one usually consumes around Christmas time. It could be a turkey or chicken or goose. Most people say that they donít like these particular beasts but...


BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Just in time! The poor girl was getting into a dreadful state wasnít she?

SH: I wasnít!

KW: Deviation. She says most people say they donít like. Most people say nothing of the kind.

NP: I donít think...

KW: No, no most people verdict can be given as no canvas has been held, nor any poll...

NP: Kenneth Kenneth what are you talking about?

KW: She said most people say they donít like. Most people have not said they donít like!

SH: I was going to go on to say something else...

NP: No, no, she was not deviating from the subject and she was not as you said at the beginning coming to a halt or anything. So she keeps the subject and there are eight seconds on fowl Sheila starting now.

SH: The thought of hens being kept in batteries but nevertheless they go on eating them is what I was going to say to elucidate...

WHISTLE

NP: So Sheila Hancock kept going until the whistle went. She gained that extra point. Sheila Hancock will you begin the next round and the subject is ties.

SH: Ties.

NP: Ties, yes. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

SH: Well I wish that this was television so that they could see that youíre wearing a very unfortunate tie today! Itís not at all like your usual good taste. Itís a brown thing with funny figures on. I donít know quite what theyíre meant to represent. However Kenneth is wearing a tasteful maroon one with his usual style and flair. Peter is wearing a bright red thing which is quite surprising for him. And as heís looking a bit sad it rather throws up... ah! Now heís smiling and that looks as though it matches the tie that heís wearing. Derek here is wearing a kind of...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Repetition of wearing. And very wearing it was!

SH: Yes! It was! Thatís true!

NP: Peter you have 26 seconds to take over the subject of ties starting now.

PJ: Most people I know possess more ties than they ever wear. Theyíre kept in cupboards. Theyíre often the presents of various people who have made donations in the form of ties to these persons. Now Iíve got a number that I give...

BUZZ

KW: Now look here! Thereís something very funny...

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Deviation, you canít make presents in the form of donations of ties. Itís ludicrous...

PJ: You canít repeat presents you idiot!

KW: Shut your row and let me finish! I hadnít even started my challenge yet!

NP: What is your challenge Kenneth?

KW: That you canít make presents that are donations of ties!

PJ: Presents in the form of donations!

KW: You can give a present that is a tie or you give a donation towards giving someone a tie but you canít do both!

NP: You can, you can give a present...

KW: Oh you great fool! What are you thinking about! Have you heard of such rubbish! Have you heard such rubbish! There you are, they all said no, theyíve never heard...

NP: Not a single one of them said no!

SH: This awful rabble rousing that you do...

NP: Rabble rousing!

SH: ... all of the time...

PJ: You heard what they called you ladies and gentlemen! Rabble! Thatís what they called you!

KW: She called you a load of rubbish!

NP: Now listen Kenneth...

PJ: Yes!

KW: You heard it!

SH: I mean this is the way dictators are born!

NP: Yes I know! But Iím delighted to say that our delightful well behaved audience did not rouse to him!

SH: No! Quite right!

NP: And they did not behave like a rabble! They behaved like an ordered gentlemanly and ladylike community. And I disagree with the challenge, it was what is known as tautology that Peter was indulging in then and he was not deviating from the subject of ties. So he has 11 seconds to continue starting now.

PJ: You can give a tie token...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Repetition of give.

NP: Yes..

PJ: Oh rubbish! Give you know itís a silly little word!

KW: (Starts to sing) Give a little, laugh a little...

NP: Kenneth will you please control yourself!

KW: Oh Iím sorry Iím sure! Pardon me, pardon me for living!

NP: Derek Nimmo you have nine seconds to talk on the subject of ties starting now.

DN: Leaving the plongs of Bangkok and moving up to Changmai one sees Thais on either side of the road, in millions, literally...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: No you see them on each side of the river. In Bangkok.

DN: Not from Bangkok to Changmai because Changmai is up in the mountains. Leaving the plongs of Bangkok and proceeding up to Changmai.

PJ: You see Thais on both sides of the road?

DN: Yes.

SH: Ties?

NP: Iím sure that you might see the odd one or two but itís a great exaggeration to say you see thousands of them. But you werenít strictly speaking deviating from ties Derek so you have one and a half seconds on the subject starting now.

DN: The population of Thailand for Nicholas Parsonsí benefit...

WHISTLE

NP: Well at the end of that traumatic round which nearly tied me up in knots Derek Nimmo was speaking as the whistle went...

DN: Tied you up in points!

NP: And he gets an extra point and as well as other points he has increased his lead. Sheila itís your turn to begin again and the subject is Uncle Tom Cobley. Will you tell us something about him in Just A Minute starting now.

SH: Well Uncle Tom Cobley was a man who went to Widdecombe Fair on somebodyís mare. And it must have been a very uncomfortable journey because as I seem to remember there were several other gentlemen who also sat on this poor animal. Probably when they got there they had a jolly good time. Goodness only knows whereabouts they came from but Iím sure he was a very pleasant feller with grey hair and a little paunch...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: He wasnít actually. He had red hair.

SH: How do you know?

DN: Itís perfectly true. He did have red hair.

SH: Was he real?

NP: How do you know he had red hair?

DN: Well Iíll tell you exactly if you give me the question.

NP: Haha you wicked so-and-so. Anyway Sheila didnít say he had, she said...

DN: All right Iíll tell you now as the challenge. Because he had red hair because he was inviolved in numerous paternity suits in the area... Absolutely! In Widdecombe, Widdecombe on the Marsh, and if you go there, youíll see it there in Devon. And the way he disclaimed the paternity suits was that if the child didnít have red hair he refused to pay any money towards it.

SH: Well Iím talking about when he got old.

DN: But he didnít, he had red hair.

NP: But later on, later on his hair went grey.

DN: No it didnít actually. You can go and see it, if you see it, if you go to the churchyard, you can see his grave, he was 29...

SH: But this is another Uncle Tom Cobley that Iím talking about...

DN: Ah! Also going to Widdecombe Fair!

NP: I donít, I donít think Sheila was strictly speaking deviating from the subject on the card and I think you were being very clever and doing a bit of one-upmanship there, and there are 33 seconds for Uncle Tom Cobley, Sheila, starting now.

SH: In fact he was a gentleman with red hair who had a lot of paternity...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Repetition, he went with a lot of other gentlemen and then he was a gentleman with red hair.

NP: Yes gentlemen. Derek, 29 seconds for Uncle Tom Cobley starting now.

DN: Bill Brewer, Jan Stewar, Peter Gurney, of the same name Davey, Daniel Whitton and Harry Hawke and Uncle Tom Cobley and all. Iím never quite sure who all was, but he was there on the horse, that lovely grey mare which wandered off to Widdecombe all those many years ago. And do you know if you go to this village which I was minded to tell you about before I started talking about the question there is a lovely statue to all these jolly folk sitting on this lovely equinine animal...

BUZZ

NP: And Peter Jones has challenged.

PJ: Hesitation.

NP: I would agree Peter. So you have three and a half seconds for Uncle Tom Cobley starting now.

PJ: They were all jolly cider drinking people and they were on their way...

WHISTLE

NP: The situation scorewise has not changed at the end of that round. Derek Nimmo is still one ahead of Sheila Hancock and they are both, Sheilaís four ahead of Peter Jones and Kenneth Williams equal in third place. Kenneth the next subject that Ian Messiter has thought of for you is Ezra Pound. Knowing your literary interests weíd like you to talk on that if you can in Just A Minute starting now.

KW: Well I donít know a lot about him in the literary sense but I know quite about, a lot about...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.

DN: Hesitation.

NP: Iím afraid so. Derek there are 55 seconds for Ezra Pound starting now.

DN: Iím afraid my knowledge of Ezra Pound is also very slight. Iím under what might be called a sinking pound if I was trying to be funny which Iím not. But I think really that when he met...

BUZZ

NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.

KW: Deviation. The sinking pound is nothing to do with Ezra.

NP: All right, a good challenge. And Kenneth you have Ezra Pound back and there are 47 seconds starting now.

KW: He achieved a lot of notoriety apropos broadcasting in Rome for the Fascists. And this of course meant that when the liberation of that country took place he was imprisoned in a sort of caged affair, in Pisa. And wrote some poems in these conditions which have since become known as the Pisan Canteaus. And they contain an extraordinary couplet, derivative doubtless of Browning, running "oh to be in England now that Winstonís out!" And it struck me at the time as having a curious irony in so far as he was returned to the United States...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Kenneth Williams got his subject back again and kept going till the end, got that extra point and heís increased his position, he;s now third. And Peter... heís ahead of Peter Jones who is going to begin the next round. Peter the subject is fables. Will you tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

PJ: Fables yes. You donít hear much of them nowadays do you. In the old days when I was at school they used to tell us some of these fables like the Tortoise and the Hare and others. And they did help! They were kind of non-religious parables in a way that helped instill a certain way of life and an attitude to it...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SH: Well he has said ways first and he did say days twice.

NP: Iím afraid he did yes.

SH: I let the days go by Peter but I stopped you at the ways!

PJ: Oh days yes yes. I never listen to what Iím saying of course!

NP: Well Sheila a correct challenge so you take over the subject and there are 27 seconds for fables starting now.

SH: Aesops Fables are in fact I suppose the most famous ones and many children are brought up on them. I always think theyíre rather sadistic little stories, some of these childhood things. I disagree with Peter. The Tortoise and the Hare isnít necessarily a frightfully good moral thing. I mean somebody that crawls along boringly slowly and gets there in the end isn;t necessarily going to be the person that achieves great daring exciting...

WHISTLE

PJ: Yes yes very interesting.

NP: So we have an interesting situation again with the score because Sheila Hancock whoís come back again as our guest is now equal in the lead with Derek Nimmo. And itís her turn to begin the next round and we canít have a lot of more time left. Oh what a lovely subject! The things I know about the other three.

SH: Oooooooh!

NP: You can make that four if you want to but thatís the subject on the card. Will you talk on it Sheila, 60 seconds, starting now.

SH: Oh this is terribly dangerous! Because Iíve worked very intimately with all three of them at various times.

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmoís challenged.

DN: Deviation.

NP: You donít consider it was intimate?

DN: Not intimate no. It was companionable.

NP: Well Sheila may...

PJ: Speak for yourself mate!

SH: It depends how you interpret the word intimate!

NP: Sheila may have found it that way Derek and...

DN: Ah yes!

NP: So if she was more involved than you were that was her responsibility! And she didnít deviate from the subject. She has 53 seconds left for the things I know about the other three starting now.

SH: And I must say actually everything I know about them I like. They are three of the most delightful men in my life, and every time I come back to the programme I enjoy seeing them. Kenneth is a great joker offstage as well as on. And Peter with his lugubrious humour is a great joy to be with...

BUZZ

NP: Derek Nimmo has challenged.

DN: Repetition of two greats. Great joy and...

NP: Yes what a pity!

PJ: I would just like to interject. Iíd like to say I appreciate the compliment Sheila, but I donít much like being associated with the other two!

NP: And what I thought was very interesting was that Derek challenged before he got the compliment that Sheila...

PJ: Yes!

SH: He was terrified!

NP: It shows you how keen he is to win doesnít it! And Sheila of course took the lead earlier on and now Derekís equal with Sheila. And it will have to be the last subject. And itís the things I know about the other three Derek starting now.

DN: The things that I know about the other three. Well I would like to start with Sheila Hancock because she is in my mind one of the most amazing people I have ever met. Sheís a wonderful comedienne, a marvellous mother, a great traveller, off to Australia at any moment. But every time one meets her one is so impressed with her extraordinary warmth, charm, and that incredible kind and compassionate nature of hers which forms a very intimate relationship with everybody with which she works. Peter Jones on the other hand...

BUZZ

NP: Sheila Hancock has challenged.

SH: Deviation. If intimate still means the same as when he challenged before well thatís not true!

PJ: Right!

NP: Yeah well I donít quite understand the challenge. Iím very sorry yes?

SH: Last time he accused me of saying that I had an intimate relationship with him and he said I didnít. Now he says that I have intimate relationships with everybody I work with!

NP: Thatís very devious!

PJ: No it isnít! Itís very good!

NP: Itís very good is it?

PJ: Very good! Yes! Yes!

NP: Youíre speaking from experience?

PJ: A very good point, a very good point! The very thing that he challenged on!

SH: I think that we should all have a turn at this. I think that you should give the challenge to somebody else!

NP: Maybe I should take it over, say the things I know about the other four! I could stumble over a few of the facts! Sheila you have a point for that and there are nine seconds left on the things I know about the other three starting now.

SH: Derek is a family man who as we all boringly know travels the world endlessly, up to Thailand...

WHISTLE

NP: Well Sheila Hancock once again proved when the whistle went, gaining the extra point. And as I warned you we wouldnít have any more time after this round, that when she puts her mind to it she can do better than the fellers. She did exactly the same last time and once again we have a woman triumphing over three men. Let me tell you that Peter Jones on this occasion came only just in fourth place, unusual for him, but once again he contributed his usual amount of good humour and wit. Kenneth Williams contributed his usual amount of whatever you like to call it and he came in third place. Derek Nimmo once again very nearly won, he was two points behind this weekís winner, Sheila Hancock. It only remains for me to say that I hope you have enjoyed this edition of Just A Minute. We have enjoyed playing it as usual and we hope that you will want to tune in again. For the moment from all of us here goodbye.

ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons. The programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by John Browell.