JAM:CFreud,GBrandreth,JEclair,CNeill
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring CLEMENT FREUD, GYLES BRANDRETH, JENNY ECLAIR and CHRIS NEILL, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 15 July 2002)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners not only in this country but throughout the world. But also to welcome to the programme this week four exciting and diverse and original talents. We have somebody who actually is one of the original players of the game, heís come back with us again from way back 35 years ago, that is Clement Freud. We also have one of this countryís most original comediennes, that is Jenny Eclair. We have somebody who is an original broadcaster and writer, that is Gyles Brandreth. And somebody who only did the show for the first time earlier this year, and he was so delightfully original, weíve asked him back again, and that is Chris Neill. Would you please welcome all four of them! Thank you! And as usual I am going to ask them to speak on a subject that I give them, and they will try and od that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from that subject. Beside me sits Claire Bartlett whoís going to help me keep the score, and she will blow a whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the beautiful Alhambra Theatre in that fine city of Bradford. And in front of us we have a fine Yorkshire audience!

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Yes! Who are here to give us a real white rose welcome. As we start the show with Jenny Eclair. And Jenny the subject in front of me is traffic wardens. Tell us something about those miss, misused individuals in 60 seconds, starting now.

JENNY ECLAIR: Boo traffic wardens! Everybody hates them! Iíve never heard a soul say ďactually some of my best friends are traffic wardensĒ! Can you imagine the shame of your child coming home and saying ďactually Mum, thereís something Iíve got to tell you, I want to be a... traffic warden!Ē

BUZZ

JE: I canít even say the words!

NP: Right!

JE: Iíd rather she was a pole dancer!

NP: Gyles Brandreth, you challenged first. What is your challenge?

GYLES BRANDRETH: Hesitation.

NP: Hesitation yes and you, in this game who, thatís a correct challenge, he gets a point for a correct challenge. He takes over the subject which is traffic wardens, and Gyles you have 42 seconds starting now.

GB: To have an affair with a traffic warden could well be described as deviation of a kind! Hesitation is something that I would certainly consider before indulging in this. And repetition is not on my mind! But the one that I have actually conjured up is a girl called Liza Lotta. And it was the uniform that got me. Those yellow epaulets and the way that she wore the buttons...

BUZZ

NP: Chris youíve challenged.

CHRIS NEILL: Do you know, Iíve just, well, because, er, no, I heard a popping noise which I thought might be a hesitation. But it was a popping noise.

NP: It was a popping noise?

CN: Yeah it wasnít a hesitation.

NP: Youíre keen, very keen...

CN: I know!

NP: I think it was an incorrect challenge so Gyles, you get another point for an incorrect challenge, and you have 20 seconds to continue on traffic wardens starting now.

GB: Traffic wardens were introduced in the United Kingdom in the 1960s by Sir Robert mark, when he was the chief constable of Leicestershire, and introduced as well in that particular part of the world...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CLEMENT FREUD: Repetition of introduced.

NP: Yes, introduced it twice, yes, so you repeat the word, correct challenge to Clement Freud, a point to him and the subject with 11 seconds, traffic wardens Clement, starting now.

CF: Traffic wardens have become a misnomer for unpaid or underpaid tax collectors. I think it is quite monstrous how little wardening of traffic...

BUZZ

NP: And Gyles challenged.

GB: I think there was a hesitation between ďlittleĒ and ďwardeningĒ.

NP: No, I think youíre getting a bit sharp Gyles. I know you havenít played the game for quite a long time.

JE: Clementís face is so wasted on radio.

NP: I know!

GB: When I was helping Clement on with his truss earlier, he said ďmake no concessions to my age!Ē

NP: I think itís Clementís reaction thatís what Jenny was referring to. Clement I disagree, no, no, you were just drawing breath to get on to the next word. And it was an incorrect challenge, you have another point, you have one second left on traffic wardens starting now.

CF: They hide...

WHISTLE

NP: So at the end of that round, oh by the way, in this game whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. It was Clement Freud and so naturally he is in the lead at the end of the round. Chris Neill, would you take the next round. And it is Alhambra. What better when weíre in this beautiful theatre here? But tell us something about Alhambra, 60 seconds starting now.

CN: As everyone will know here present, and probably listening on the radio, the Alhambra is a dance. My mother taught me this dance when I was actually...

BUZZ

CN: Oh!

NP: Ah Jenny challenged.

JE: Iím sorry Chris.

CN: Oh youíre right! Dance!

JE: He did say dance twice!

CN: I canít do that, can I?

JE: I know you like to dance.

NP: No, heís not...

JE: Unfortunately you canít do it twice in this game. (laughs)

NP: So Jenny you have a correct challenge, you have the Alhambra, you donít have it, but youíve got the subject of the Alhambra and you have 52 seconds starting now.

JE: I actually do have an Alhambra, Nicholas. Itís a car made by Fiat, a cross between a Volkswagen Charonnnnne and a Ford Galaxy...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: A slight hesitation, running out of things.

JE: No! Itís because Iíve got a slight cold and Iím wheezing!

CN: Do you make allowances?

JE WHEEZES

NP: I donít, I think she did keep going. There was a certain elision between certain words...

CN: I thought that!

NP: But thatís quite the reverse of pausing, thatís running words together.

CN: What is the difference between elision and a pause?

NP: A pause is when you stop, an elision is running two words together.

CN: Oh!

JE: Can you not get me for lying because I havenít got one at all?

NP: So Jenny, an incorrect challenge, another point to you, 44 seconds, Alhambra starting now.

JE: They come in a variety of colours, silver, blue...

BUZZ

NP: Chris Neill challenged.

CN: You canít keep talking about this if it doesnít exist!

JE: Yes I can!

NP: She can if she wants to, provided she doesnít hesitate, deviate. And we have to go with Jenny on this because she wasnít doing anything else that was wrong in Just A Minute. Forty-one seconds still with you Jenny, Alhambra starting now.

JE: The original Alhambra, of course, was a Spanish palace built in the 15th century, by an architect unknown...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: It was more like the 13th or 14th century!

JE SCREAMS

NP: Iím afraid Clement...

JE: Pedancy! The pedant! Can we put it to a vote?

NP: No, no, no... Iím sorry, no. He is right, it was built actually in 1200 and something, which is the 13th century.

JE: Right, Iím going to poke my eyes out with this biro now!

NP: So Clementís challenge was correct and he gets the subject and there are 35 seconds, the Alhambra starting now.

CF: The Church of Saint Peter in Bradford became the cathedral in 1919 which was the beginning of the 20th century...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: No, the beginning of the 20th century was either the year 1900 or the year 1901.

NP: So it was the 20th century, youíve been caught up on centuries as well. So Gyles a correct challenge and you have 25 seconds, Alhambra starting now.

GB: When you think of the beauty of the original Alhambra in Grenada, it is somewhat heartbreaking to realise that now these names are conjuring up tired old theatres and a television company that produces Coronation Street...

BUZZ

NP: Chris has challenged.

CN: Deviation, this is certainly not a tired old theatre, itís lovely!

NP: Absolutely!

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: You were putting your head into a noose there Gyles! Yes!

GB: I of course did not mean this Alhambra!

NP: This is the only Alhambra left in the whole of the British Isles!

GB: This is the, this is the exception to the rule!

NP: Chris you were right, itís beautiful.

CN: Thank you!

NP: It was deviation and you have the subject, you have 12 seconds, tell us something about the Alhambra starting now.

CN: Anyway with this physical movement I was trying to tell you about somewhere earlier...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: He was deviating then, itís got nothing to do with the physical movement, has it?

NP: Well according to him, it has.

CN: The dance is a physical movement.

JE: Oh youíre back on that! Youíre banging on again about that!

NP: Heís allowed to bang on about anything in this game, if he wants to.

JE: Right.

NP: As long as he doesnít hesitate, deviate or repeat something. So Chris an incorrect challenge.

CN: Thank you.

NP: You still have the Alhambra or the subject, and you have 10 seconds starting now.

CN: I learnt it at Miss Jackieís School of Dancing for Tots. I was there with my sister Jo...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Two ďIĒs! I, I, I...

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Oh you havenít won many friends in this audience with that challenge.

JE: Donít tell them Iím from Lancashire, Nicholas!

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Youíve lost even more members of the audience now. Um, I donít know, it was correct challenge but Jenny we do resist the temp...

JE: It was bitchy, wasnít it?

NP: It wasnít bitchy, it was just keenness.

CN: I think you should allow for the fact that I didnít have a university education, thank you!

NP: So, but as I, within the rules of Just A Minute, itís a correct challenge, so Jenny I have to give it to you. Six seconds, Alhambra starting now.

JE: Itís amorish in design with fountains and mosaics. I think the groutingís still quite clean...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Two ands!

CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: So heís drawn your attention to the fact that we ignore some of the little words like that. So Clement was correct, he has that point, he has the subject, and once again heís got in with one second...

JE: Oh no!

NP: Alhambra starting now.

CF: Thereís nowhere I would sooner be...

WHISTLE

NP: So once again Clement Freud speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point. But Jenny Eclair got points in that round, so theyíre now equal in the lead ahead of Gyles Brandreth and Chris Neill. And Gyles your turn to begin, the subject is hay fever. Tell us something about hay fever in Just A Minute starting now.

GB: It is well-known that Sir Noel Coward who once said that television is for appearing on, not looking at, wrote a number of wonderful plays including Private Lives, A Song Of Twilight, and my own personal favourite, Hay Fever. It is not so well-known that this great... thespian and author...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Was that a little hesitation?

NP: That was a little hesitation yes.

CN: Oh right.

NP: He was trying to think of another way to describe Noel Coward and um...

CN: Well itís not that difficult really, is it!

NP: Forty-three seconds, hay feverís with you Chris starting now.

CN: ďHey, fever!Ē the girls cry out to me, what with my effortless rhythm and snaking hips, as I parade down the streets of London town. They canít get enough of me! My slim figure, youíll note I have been to the gym! And my well-quaffed hair. I tend to shave at least twice a day, so that I have smooth cheeks for them to kiss. And... thatís it!

BUZZ

NP: Jenny your light came on simultaneously with Gyles, so I have an impossible decision to make.

JE: Shall we fight?

NP: Yes.

GB: Oh!

NP: You give me your challenge and then Iíll find out what Gylesís was.

JE: He hesitated, he ran out of compliments.

NP: Right, what is your challenge?

GB: Not only did he run out of steam, but also he was back on this dancing thing! He was doing the Alhambra...

JE: Heís obsessed!

GB: He is obsessed!

NP: Right...

JE: Shall we try and speak together?



NP: No, Iíll tell you what weíll do, weíll give you both a point as you both pressed together, and who is um ahead? Um Jenny youíre ahead so Gyles has the benefit of the doubt. Is that all right?

JE: Not really, Nicholas!

NP: Not really! All right! Twenty-four seconds Gyles, hay fever starting now.

GB: What is not so well-remembered is that this aforementioned playwright was also somebody who suffered from the condition of hay fever. And there was the memorable first night of Titus Andromicus in 1955 at Stratford-upon-Avon in which the role of Titus was played...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Oh now he is deviating like mad!

NP: No, he repeated Titus.

JE: And Titus! Titus, Titus, Titus!

GB: Tight as a drum!

NP: So Jenny you have got the point, itís fair plays now. So youíve got 10 seconds to keep going on hay fever starting now.

JE: I canít be doing with people suffering from hay fever. Itís a moral weakness and an excuse for not passing exams. Boo hoo, I didnít get an A level because...

BUZZ

NP: Clement has challenged you.

CF: Repetition of hoo hoo!

JE: I said boo hoo!

NP: She actually said boo hoo, not hoo hoo.

CF: Not from here!

NP: I have to explain to our listeners that Gyles and Clement sit one side of me, at one side of the stage, and Jenny and Chris on the other side. So itís very difficult when the audience are so responding, itís difficult to actually carry. But she did actually say boo hoo and not hoo hoo.

GB: You havenít explained that why, though weíre on the other side of the stage, why weíre in this cage.

NP: Jenny an incorrect challenge, you have two seconds on hay fever starting now.

JE: Theyíre always ganging up together, going on about their dreary miserable...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair, in spite of being generous towards Gyles when they both buzzed together, got other points in that round, including speaking for one as the whistle went. So sheís now taken the lead. Sheís ahead of Gyles Brandreth and Clement Freud, equal in second. You donít need to clap that, itís just information! And Chris Neill in third place. And Jenny itís also your turn to begin.

JE: Aha!

NP: And the subject is dinkies. Which I understand stands for Double Income No Kids. Tell us something about dinkies and you can use that subject as well, Double Income No Kids, in this game starting now.

JE: This is a phrase made up in the 80s, around the time that they introduced yuppies. For a while, my partner and I were dinkies, before a child was spawned and er...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: I think we were just getting too much anatomical detail and there was hesitation.

NP: Hesitation was correct, yes Gyles. You have a correct challenge, you have a point, you have 49 seconds, tell us something about dinkies, Double Income No Kids starting now.

GB: Dinkies is an acromyn and these are things that I love like...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Isnít it an acronym?

JE: Yes!

NP: The correct word is an acronym, Chris you have a correct challenge and you have 44 seconds, dinkies starting now.

CN: Actually Iím a ninky, No Income No Kids Yet! But you never know! I know actually dinkies does sound like a character from a Gilbert and Sullivan operetta say. But it is a recognised social condition. As someone said earlier, it was thought up in the time of Margaret Thatcher. So much money for some...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Oh he was being marvellous! But then he just stopped being good, didnít he.

NP: Well he just hesitated.

JE: Yes. He hesitated, thatís what he did.

NP: Yes you donít need to comment on his style, just he hesitated! So um Jenny another point, another um 27 seconds available starting now.

JE: Most couples have a halcyon financial period before children come along and bankrupt them with nannies, school fees, bassoon lessons, kiddies parties involving the invitation of one of those very expensive clowns thatís not very funny, and ever so scary! Ah.. no, Iíve really lost it!

BUZZ

JE: So sorry!

CF: Hesitation.

JE: Yes.

NP: Hesitation Clement, correct yes. And youíve got in with eight seconds on the subject of dinkies starting now.

CF: Single Parents Use Nannies Knickers In Emergency is an acronym for spunkie which is...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement brought that round to a close with a panache and the audience showed his appreciation of how he managed in this game to work that one out and deliver it, just as the whistle went. But heís moved forward, heís still in third place but heís moved. And Gyles has moved. Theyíre all actually in the same order and Jennyís still in the lead. Right, Chris Neill your turn to begin, and the subject, in the spotlight. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

CN: Some people may know that The Spotlight is the actorís bible. Itís a directory of those performers and there are pictures of all of them in there. Some boring afternoons I do go to my local library, and flicking through it, I play the ďwould I? wouldnít I?Ē game. Now basically Iím looking at juvenile leads rather than character actors as you can imagine. But...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: Weíve had a repetition of the word ďactorĒ.

NP: Youíve had actor, yes. Right Gyles, youíve got it, 41 seconds, in the spotlight starting now.

GB: The Spotlight is the name of a theatrical bar off Broadway on Forty-Second Street, where I once encountered Sir John Gielgud sitting sipping a dry martini and doing a puzzle...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Sorry, I thought he said sitting sitting.

GB: I did say sitting sipping, theyíre not the same word.

CF: Exactly right! Which is why I apologised for my interruption.

GB: Thatís very sweet of you. Itís the least I can do.

NP: Gyles you have a point for being interrupted, because you stopped and you have 33 seconds to continue, in the spotlight starting now.

GB: In the Spotlight, the mighty thespian was undertaking this little puzzle, in which he was trying to come up with...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Are you allowed to say puzzle? You know when youíve been interrupted once, and he said puzzle before. Then he was interrupted by Clement wrongly...

NP: If you said puzzle in this round.

JE: Yes, itís repetition.

GB: I said the word puzzle after Sir Clement, if you donít mind...

JE: Oh Iím sorry!

GB: Had actually, pressed, pressed the button and I think somebody of his distinction and seniority...

NP: He didnít actually say puzzle in the round when he was speaking officially. It was in between, during a interruption. Gyles, incorrect challenge so you have another point and 29 seconds, in the spotlight starting now.

GB: Picture the scene in the spotlight where this extraordinary thespian is there...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Definitely thespian.

GB: No!

NP: He did say it...

JE: Yes!

NP: You talked about...

SHOUTS OF ďYESĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

JE: Listen to them!

NP: You talked about John Gielgud and you referred to him as this thespian when you came back to talk about him.

GB: This mighty actor! But I donít mind! If this wonderful audience feels this way!

NP: And the chairman is convinced of it, so itís 24 seconds Jenny...

GB: Iím accepting it from them, not you Nicholas!

NP: Twenty-four seconds Jenny with you, in the spotlight starting now.

JE: I love to be in the spotlight. This is because I suffer from a condition known as showing off! I sometimes wonder that I might die of it, itíll be on my beath, death certificate...

BUZZ

NP: Ah Chris challenged.

CN: Will it be on her beath certificate?

NP: I think you can either have it as hesitation or deviation from English as we understand it.

CN: Iíll have half and half, thank you!

NP: Itís only one point but you have the subject and 13 seconds, in the spotlight starting now.

CN: I always remember Sir Dirk Bogarde when he was in that film, Death In Venice, based on the novel by Thomas Mann, sat on the beach and they put all that makeup on him, and all the slap, all down the spotlight...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Ah he was talking about Dirk Bogarde, not about being in the spotlight really.

NP: I think he was conveying how much he was in the spotlight.

JE: Oh because...

NP: He was starring in that film, he was very much in the spotlight.

JE: Iím very sorry Chris, youíre very welcome to have the round back!

NP: Heís got a point legitimately for being incorrect challenge, four seconds Chris, in the spotlight starting now.

CN: He was looking at the boy paddling in the surf off Venice...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: I think we now really have moved into a serious area of deviation!

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Qualify that!

GB: Weíve moved away from the spotlight into a lurid picture of an older man leering after a young boy rushing off into the waves!

NP: That is, that is exactly what he did in the, in the, in the...

CN: In the film!

NP: Yeah, in the film.

JE: Yeah but he said Venice twice.

GB: Oh okay, he said Venice twice.

NP: No, itís too late now!

JE: I said that!

NP: You canít have a supplementary challenge.

GB: Iím afraid I felt, I sensed deviation, thatís all, and I just wanted to...

NP: Yes I know. Youíre very sensitive on that area! Right Chris, the first challenge was an incorrect one so you have another point for that...

CN: Thanks!

NP: And you have one second on in the spotlight starting now.

CN: In my bedroom I had a very large spotlight...

WHISTLE

NP: So Chris Neill was then speaking as the whistle went, gained an extra point for doing so and er Jenny Eclairís still in the lead. Chris Neillís moved forward and Gyles Brandrethís in second place, then the other two equal in third place. Gyles your turn to begin, and the subject is loyalty cards. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

GB: When I was a Member of Parliament the mighty Matthew Parris said of me that I was very loyal and something of a card. And consequently I feel that this is a good subject for me to speak upon. I was so in fact faithful to my leadership that when Mister Major became Prime Minister, I went grey over night. Subsequently when William Hague topped my party, I began to go bald. I was so grateful that Anne Widdecombe did not become leader...

BUZZ

NP: Clement you challenged.

CF: I was saving him for his political oblivion! But he did say ďI wasĒ four times.

NP: He did.

GB: Political oblivion is something Clement will know about!

JE: Oh!

NP: Oooohh!

JE: Down boys!

NP: Oh right...

CN: Theyíre all rather camp on that side of the stage!

NP: Clement you have a correct challenge, you have 32 seconds, loyalty cards, starting now.

CF: My father was for a while the vice-president of the East Anglia Lentil Growers Association. And while this was not an enormously well-paid job, he did get loyalty cards from all those in Essex, Sussex, Lincoln, Cambridgeshire and Norfolk who appreciated the hard work and each birthday, Christmas, Easter, Whitsun and the Bank Holiday Monday in August...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: When I challenged he had not said August. It was a repetition of bank holiday because Easter and Whitsun are both bank holidays.

JE: Oh dirty!

NP: You are getting so keen Gyles! I know you havenít been with us... You have got to repeat the words, they may be bank holidays. Heís repeating a thought but nit the words. Just A Minute is about language.

GB: I understand all that!

NP: You just...

GB: Iíd just had enough of this tedious story, thatís all.

NP: You were just getting wound up, and revealing all kinds of interesting aspects about your private life, none of which we believe! Clement, incorrect challenge, you have four seconds, loyalty cards, starting now.

CF: If you stick a loyalty stamp on a loyalty card and send it to the National Health...

WHISTLE

NP: So Clement was then speaking when the whistle went, gained that extra point. Heís now still in third place with Chris Neill, theyíre just behind Gyles Brandreth, whoís a little way behind Jenny Eclair whoís still our leader. And I understand weíre moving into the final round. So let me give you the score because theyíre all getting pretty close now. Jenny Eclair's still in the lead but sheís only two points ahead of Gyles Brandreth and Clement Freud equal in second place, and a few points ahead of Chris Neill in third place. So Jenny itís your turn to begin and the subject is rocket science. Thereís a challenge for you! Tell us something about rocket science in Just A Minute starting now.

JE: Well how fortuitous that I should get this round! When I was a girl, we had rocket science on a Tuesday afternoon, followed by double brain surgery, then hockey! So I know all there is about rocket science. I wonít go into the detail here, I wonít underestimate the audience...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Two woníts.

NP: I wonít, right. So correct challenge Clement...

JE: Iím very grateful to Clement for that!

NP: Rocket science is with you and there are 38 seconds available starting now.

CF: Rocket science does tend culinarily to involve the introduction...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Well I was slightly led by the audience really! Is culinarily a word? Is that deviation?

NP: Well according to the audience reaction, it definitely is. And so Chris you have a correct challenge and you have 33 seconds, tell us something about rocket science starting now.

CN: Rocket should be no great science to grow in this country, because it is almost an indigenous plant. And yet when you go and buy it in a supermarket, itís about eight pounds for a small bunch. I donít know why! Absolute fortune...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: I think he goes to the wrong supermarket!

NP: So Clementís correct, he has 24 seconds on rocket science starting now.

CF: When I was at school, they said ďdo you want to do geography, history, or rocket science?Ē And I decided upon rocket science, and every Tuesday afternoon...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Heís stealing my life!

LAUGHTER FROM CF AND THE AUDIENCE

NP: Jenny the awful thing about Just A Minute is that you can steal other peopleís material. Clement you have another point, 15 seconds, rocket science starting now.

CF: It was mixed rocket science. Boys, girls, a lesbian teacher had an unordinate, we had not...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

CF: I wanted Gyles to have a point!

NP: Yes Gyles?

GB: Yes, there was both hesitation...

NP: It was hesitation, yes Gyles, so youíve got in on the subject, six seconds...

GB: Oh God!

NP: ... tell us something about rocket science starting now.

GB: Once upon a time the Shah of Iran took me aside...

BUZZ

GB: ... and said name dropping...

NP: Chris challenged, yes?

CN: Ah, would a hesitation?

NP: No, Iím afraid not. Gyles it was an incorrect challenge though, so you have another point, three seconds, rocket science starting now.

GB: Neil Armstrong and I...

BUZZ

NP: No, no, no, Chris challenged.

CN: That was hesitation.

NP: There was no hesitation.

JE: It was deviation though!

GB: Neil Armstrong, Iím sorry! Rocket science and Neil Armstrong is not deviation!

NP: Gyles please, this is not television, you neednít get so angry! He didnít actually have you for deviation, he had you for hesitation.

CN: I didnít have you for deviation! I had... Itís Jenny Eclair! Sheís mouthing off!

JE: Oh!

NP: And Jenny from the other side of the stage shouted ďdeviationĒ. You were getting, theyíre honestly winding each other up so much, thank God this is the last round! Weíll go out and have a little retire afterwards and theyíll either have a drink or a fight! Gyles you have two seconds, youíve got another point, and you have two seconds on rocket science starting now.

GB: When they went to the Moon it was an extraordinary experience for all of them because...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gyles Brandreth brought that round to a close in acrimony and tension! But itís all good grist to the mill, isnít it. And you enjoyed it, didnít you! As long as they, as long as they feel passionate about it, then we can keep going! Right! Let me give you the final situation. Jenny Eclair who led all the way through, all the way, finished only just in third place. Ahead of Chris Neill. But she was only two points behind our joint winners which are Gyles Brandreth and Clement Freud! A round, an extra round of applause for them! So it only remains for me to say thank you to our four passionate players of the game, Jenny Eclair, Gyles Brandreth, Chris Neill and Clement Freud. I also thank Claire Bartlett who has been helping me with the score, and blowing her whistle so elegantly. And we are also grateful to our producer, Claire Jones who tries to keep us in order when she can. And we are also indebted to Ian Messiter who created this delightful game. And we are very grateful to this lovely audience here in the wonderful Alhambra Theatre in Bradford for cheering us on our way with such style and their passion was equal only to the passion on the stage. Thank you, from our audience, from me Nicholas Parsons, and from our panel, good-bye until the next time we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC