JAM:CFreud,GBrandreth,JEclair,CNeill
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring CLEMENT FREUD, GYLES BRANDRETH, JENNY ECLAIR and CHRIS NEILL, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 12 August 2002)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Thank you, thank you, hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners throughout the world and of course, particularly in this country. And also to welcome to the programme four diverse, talented, exuberant, passionate players of the game who once more are going to pit their wits, theyíll show their verbal ingenuity and also their humorous dexterity as they speak on a subject that I give them, and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviating from that subject. Would you please welcome the four bright sparks that we have with us for this particular show, they are Jenny Eclair, Gyles Brandreth, Chris Neill and Clement Freud. Please welcome all four of them! Beside me sits Claire Bartlett whoís going to help me keep the score, sheíll blow her whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the beautiful magnificent Alhambra Theatre in that fine city of Bradford in that great county of Yorkshire. And we have a really passionate Yorkshire audience in front of us ready to cheer us on our way. As we begin the show with Clement Freud. Clement the subject is the Saxons. Tell us something about those in this game, starting now.

CLEMENT FREUD: The Saxons used to live in Saxony, which is pretty much the way it should have been to this day. They were pirates and in the early middle ages, they occupied what is now France and Germany. And some of them came to England... too...

BUZZ

NP: Chris Neill challenged.

CHRIS NEILL: Was that a hesitation?

NP: It was a hesitation yes. So thatís a correct challenge so Chris Neill gets a point for a correct challenge. He takes over the subject which is the Saxons, there are 42 seconds available starting now.

CN: Of course we all know that it was the Saxons who introduced curry to the north of England. What with dishes like Biriyani the Unready and Vindaloo the Fearless, they became very very popular. Oh I said very twice!

BUZZ

NP: Jenny Eclair you challenged.

JENNY ECLAIR: He knew what he was doing! He was just going so beautifully, I feel guilty...

NP: I know!

CN: I did say very twice.

JE: Yes you did.

NP: I know, I know, and so Jenny you have a correct challenge and a point, and 31 seconds, you tell us something about the Saxons starting now.

JE: The Saxons were little felt creatures who lived on the Moon. No, thatís the Clangers, isnít it? I got horribly confused...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Yes. You admitted your deviation yourself, Jenny. So Clement another point to you and you take back the subject, the Saxons starting now.

CF: The ones that came to what is now the British Isles were known as Anglo-Saxons. And the acute Angles turned left, and occupied the southern part, what is now Hampshire and Dorset and Wiltshire. And the obtuse ones turned north and you find them all over Yorkshire...

BUZZ

BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Gyles you challenged. Gyles you..

GYLES BRANDRETH: I had hoped to save Clement from himself!

NP: I know!

GB: And from being lynched on his way to his guest house tonight.

NP: Yes.

GB: And I think he felt there was a moment of hesitation as well because he was wondering whether he dared say what...

NP: There was a moment of hesitation. He was plucking up the courage to say it, and the audience reaction when he said it proved that he was wrong! So Gyles you have a correct challenge so you get a point for that and you have seven seconds available, tell us something about the Saxons starting now.

GB: The Saxons are a dysfunctional family living in Bradford to whom I am distantly related. They love to claim that they come from an aristocratic background but I can say...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Gyles Brandreth. And as they all got a point in that round, Gyles is one ahead of them. What a very fair way to begin the show. And Gyles, the second round, will you take it please. A sticky situation. Tell us something about a sticky situation starting now.

GB: A sticky situation is where you are an actor appearing in a live radio programme playing the role of the detective, and your opening moment is to say ďthat is the chair Schmitt sat in when he was shotĒ. And somehow your vowels let you down! That is in every sense a very sticky situation. The stickiest situation in which Iíve ever found myself is an encounter between Yehudi Menuhin, the great fiddler, and the Archbishop of Canterbury...

BUZZ

NP: Chris Neill challenged.

CN: Deviation, itís difficult for a boy like me, because I only know normal people. I donít know the Archbishop of Canterbury. I donít know what, I donít know what heís talking about.

NP: Right, well Iím sorry, Iím sad that you donít know who the Archbishop of Canterbury is. But it doesnít really matter, heís the head of the Church of England if it helps you. But er...

JE: I thought that was the Queen.

CN: Oh yes!

NP: Yes. A bonus point to Jenny. Now listen, he wasnít actually deviating...

CN: No, youíre right.

NP: ... within the rules of Just A Minute...

CN: No.

NP: So he gets another point, he keeps the subject, a sticky situation, 33 seconds starting now.

GB: When two strawberries are found together in the same bed, and one of them actually finds theyíre in the jam, it is of course a sticky situation. Because a pregnant strawberry when it isnít properly married...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Strawberry.

NP: Two strawberries.

CN: No he said strawberries before.

NP: He said strawberries and strawberry.

JE: Oh I apologise Gyles,

CN: Listen up, girl!

NP: Gyles an incorrect challenge so you keep the subject, 23 seconds, a sticky situation starting now.

GB: When computers fall in love you soon hear the patter of tinny feet. This is considered a sticky situation if youíre not in fact in favour of matrimony between artificial er...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Ah hesitation.

NP: That was a hesitation yes. I think he was going down a path he couldnít really see where to go. Um Clement you have a correct challenge and you have sticky, a sticky situation and 12 seconds starting now.

CF: If you mix flour and milk and salt and honey, add...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Vile of me, but and, and and and.

NP: And and and.

JE: And and. Iím so sorry Bradford!

NP: Not a, not a popular challenge.

JE: No!

NP: But the fact that you also come from Lancashire doesnít help either!

JE: They hate me!

NP: But a correct challenge so within the rules of Just A Minute, I have to give it to you Jenny. You have seven seconds, you tell us something about a sticky situation starting now.

JE: Ulrika Johnston and Sven-Goran Erickson, now thereís a sticky situation. By now itís...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair was then speaking as the whistle went and gained that extra point. Sheís now in the lead with Gyles Brandreth, just ahead of the other two. Chris Neill will you take the next round, the subject is what I see when I look in the mirror. Take that subject, tell us something about what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

CN: Square jawed, blue eyed, blonde hair, good sense of humour, clean, well burnished skin by the sun from all this sunbathing...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: He kind of hesitated...

CN: Yes.

JE: ... and got all confused, and I think I was standing behind him that he could see!

NP: No, I donít think youíre burnished Jenny, no, no. But Jenny it was a correct challenge so you have 50 seconds to tell us something about what I see when I look in the mirror.

BUZZ

NP: Um Chris challenged.

CN: That was a hesitation.

NP: That was a hesitation.

JE: You didnít say go!

CN: When does he say go?

NP: I say now actually. Didnít I say now then?

JE: No!

NP: Didnít I say now Claire?

CN: I think he did.

SHOUTS OF ďNOĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

CN: Oh shush!

NP: All right, all right, if the audience, the audience be the judges. Did I not say now?

SHOUTS OF ďNOĒ FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Thank you very much indeed audience.

CN: Now you said ďdid I not say nowĒ and they said ďnoĒ. That means you did!

NP: Jenny weíre going to give you the benefit of the doubt, ignore that challenge. So Jenny will you talk about what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

JE: Sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see a car. Thatís when I realise I shouldnít be applying lipstick when Iím driving! Always are looking in the looking glass...

BUZZ

JE: Bad of me, Iím sorry yes.

NP: Gyles challenged.

JE: Gyles youíre right.

GB: Hesitation, repetition.

JE: Yes.

GB: Dangerous driving!

JE: I am a very bad person!

GB: We want to throw the book at her.

NP: I donít see why you should, sheís lovely! Donít throw the book at her. You have one correct challenge within the rules of Just A Minute, and you get the subject with 38 seconds, what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

GB: When I got up this morning, I popped into the bathroom, gazed into the mirror, and I saw this vision of loveliness! Then I popped in my contact lenses and a sad saggy middle-aged face appeared...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: Two pops, popped into the bathroom and you popped...

NP: Popped into the bathroom and you popped in your contact lenses.



GB: Ah!

CN: Oh thatís good.

GB: I must be careful with the poppers!

NP: Jenny you have the subject back and you have 30 seconds, what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

JE: Last time I looked in the mirror, I thought ďgoodness, whatís Ziggy Pop doing in here?Ē Then I realised it was me...

BUZZ

NP: Chris you challenged.

CN: Was that a hesitation on realised?

NP: No, no, it wasnít hesitation. Jenny you have another point and you have 24 seconds, what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

JE: I said ďwhat are you doing in here?Ē He said ďIím licking your grouting clean!Ē

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

BUZZ

NP: You just couldnít resist it!







JE: No!

NP: You got a big laugh and you had to lean on it. And Chris, you got in first with hesitation, 17 seconds, you tell us something more about what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

CN: What I see when I look in The Mirror is some really tiptop news stories! God, they know how to tell us whatís going on today! And then thereís the 3 AM girls, theyíre fascinating. I donít quite know what they do, but apparently theyíre great! And er and...

BUZZ

NP: Clement you challenged.

CF: Hesitation.

NP: Yes, there was a definite er there. So Clement a point, and four seconds, what I see when I look in the mirror starting now.

CF: I rather prefer it to The Sun, because altogether the sports results...

WHISTLE

NP: Um so Clement Freud was then speaking when the whistle went and heís moved forward. Theyíre all very close there, Jenny Eclair is just ahead by one point. Gyles your turn to begin, the subject is cowboys. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

GB: I appreciate that these days cowboys and Indians are referred to as cattle managers and native Americans. But Iím somebody who is into political correctness in any way. And therefore in my dreams, I picture myself riding alongside John Wayne! What a glorious figure of a man he was. And how magnificent I think I would look on a little steed next door to him, clip-clopping our way through the...

BUZZ



NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Deviation, he would not look magnificent!

NP: This is one of those impossible decisions, because in Gylesís fantasy world, he could be looking magnificent.

GB: Itís insulting!

NP: Whatís that?

GB: Itís insulting.

NP: Well yes thereís quite a few insults bandied about in Just A Minute. But Iíll tell you what Iíll do, Iíll put this to the superior wisdom of our audience here in the Alhambra Theatre in Bradford. If you agree with Chrisís challenge, and I mean visually yes, itís probably correct. You have to remember the rules of Just A Minute, was he deviating with in the rules of Just A Minute? Difficult to tell! You can be the judge, cheer for Chris if you agree, boo for Chris if you disagree, all do it together now.

CHEERS AND BOOS FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: Chris theyíre with you to a man!

CN: Oh!

NP: And a girl!

CN: Kisses all round later!

NP: Right! You have a point, you have 38 seconds with cowboys starting now.

CN: Theyíre mean, theyíre aggressive, they shoot first and they ask questions later! Yes of course, Iím talking plumbers! (laughs) Now...

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

BUZZ

NP: Clement you challenged.

CF: (laughing) Hesitation.

NP: Yes there was a hesitation. Itís a tough game, you get a big laugh, you cannot lean back on your laughs like that, because then you hesitate.

CN: I thought no-one would notice and then I would sort of creep back in quietly later!

NP: No we have to do that old phrase weíve used before on this show, you ride the laugh...

CN: Okay.

NP: Because otherwise you commit... Clement, a correct challenge, 30 seconds, tell us something about cowboys starting now.

CF: It is an interesting fact that while cowboys were immensely capable, skilled and had...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: A minute hesitation.

NP: I know but not enough, Iím sorry! Clement you have the benefit of the doubt, you have 24 seconds, you have cowboys starting now.

CF: I donít want 24 seconds on cowboys!

BUZZ

NP: So you donít have it, Chris you challenged first.

CN: Is that deviation?

NP: Yes, 20 seconds, cowboys with you Chris starting now.

CN: Those films with cowboys in them called cowboy movies, I find very dull. I have to tell you, always black and white on the telly. My Mum would be watching the wrestling, Iíd want to watch the cowboy film even though I found it dull, the wrestling...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged.

JE: Watch and dull were repeated.

NP: Yes thatís right. You neednít have both darling, just one is enough.

JE: Iíll choose dull!

NP: Right!

CN: Thanks!

NP: Twelve seconds Jenny, cowboys starting now.

JE: Cowboys traditionally smoke 30 Marlboro cigarettes a day, eat hordes of red meat...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles has challenged.

GB: Iím afraid there was hesitation.

NP: No, there wasnít! She was going a bit slow.

JE: No, some flem came up in my throat and I went (coughs) hordes.

NP: No she didnít hesitate Gyles...

GB: Deviation in the pronunciation of the word hordes. And the idea of eating hordes of red meat...

JE: Iím quite ill Gyles!

NP: Jenny you still have the subject and you have five seconds on cowboys starting now.

JE: And they peg out at 50 which is why women love them so much. Oh can I marry a cowboy...

WHISTLE

NP: Right so Jenny Eclair with another point for speaking as the whistle went has moved forward, increased her lead just ahead of Gyles Brandreth and Clement Freud and Chris Neill in that order. And Jenny your turn to begin, the subject is getting up in the morning. Tell us something about that subject in this game starting now.

JE: Iím actually really good at getting up in the morning. As soon as that alarm goes off at 6.30, I bound out of bed, saying ďhello day, letís get crackingĒ which my knees do! I then wander into the bathroom, clean my teeth. Because after a nightís sleep, I have breath like a camel thatís smoked a hundred cigarettes, and has gum disease. Then I do some yoga positions unless Iíve got a hangover, in which case I donít want sick on my knees. After that...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Was that a hesitation?

NP: No, there wasnít, no, no, no. I thought the image she conjured up was enough to make anybody hesitate. It wasnít hesitation, she kept going very well. Thirty-one seconds Jenny, getting up in the morning starting now.

JE: I have my breakfast, otherwise my blood sugar levels drop dramatically low and I turn into a bitch! Then I drive my daughter to school. She canít walk, sheís a teenager and she hasnít got any muscle tone for heavenís sake. After that I sit in my study...

BUZZ

NP: Clement challenged.


CF: Weíve had two ďafter that's.

JE: Yes.

NP: Two ďafter...Ē

JE: And I was getting boring!

NP: No you werenít, they enjoyed it. But Clement you got in with 14 seconds on getting up in the morning starting now.

CF: At my age getting it up in the morning is...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged. Whatís your challenge Jenny?

JE: I thought it was a deviation. Heís given me a picture in my head thatís making me feel uncomfortable!

NP: Well the subject on the card is getting up in the morning, and if he says what he did say, then heís deviating from the subject, isnít it. So er in every sense of the thought. So 11 seconds for you Jenny on getting up in the morning starting now.

JE: My partner is hopeless at getting up in the morning. He likes to do it in silence which is when I start singing! Have you ever watched the MTV? God, a hilarious programme that is. You see...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair speaking as the whistle went, started the subject and she finished it, and sheís now two ahead of Gyles Brandreth in that order, and just four ahead of Clement Freud whoís third place, a few ahead of Chris Neill. And Clement itís your turn to begin, the subject is grumpy. Tell us something about grumpy in this game starting now.

CF: In the year nineteen hundred and thirty-six, I got on my bicycle in Warbeswick and I cycled to Lowestoft where Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs was on at the local Odeon cinema, price three pence admission, no concessions, not to anyone. And one of the dwarfs in that film was called Grumpy...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: Iím so sorry, a lovely story, but you see, we had the film Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs, and then one of the dwarfs was Grumpy. So itís a repetition of dwarves.

CF: I said dwarfs.

GB: Dwarfs! You pronounced the word correctly but twice!

NP: So Gyles you have the subject and 36 seconds on grumpy starting now.

GB: Grumpy is what Sir Clement Freud is, when he canít get it up in the morning! And...

BUZZ

NP: Chris, Chris challenged.

CN: Deviation, how do you know that?

GB: Because I was here three minutes ago and I heard him tell several million people so!

CN: No, no, no...

NP: I want...

CN: He said ďI canít get it up in the morningĒ. He didnít say it made him unhappy!

NP: Listen, I...

GB: I could see him! I could see him!

NP: So what is your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

CN: I think you should give the subject to me!

NP: No, no, what weíll do is weíll give you a bonus point because the audience enjoyed your interruption, but...

CN: Okay.

NP: ... you didnít have a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute. Gyles gets a point for being interrupted, he keeps the subject, there are 31 seconds, grumpy with you Gyles starting now.

GB: If you strike up a cigarette next to my neighbour, he fumes while you smoke. Because grumpy is something that this great former politician does with ease. We wonder why. was it something to do with his curious childhood coming from this bizarre family where...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Iíd stop now if I were you!

BUZZ

NP: Ah Jennyís challenged as well.

JE: Ah two ďfromĒs.

NP: I know but itís a bit late now darling, isnít it.

JE: Yeah!

NP: So what was your challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

CN: Well, no, Iím just trying to save Gyles really.

NP: I know you were.

CN: It wasnít really a challenge.

NP: Well give me a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute, otherwise it keeps with Gyles.

CN: Ah he hesitated.

NP: No, he didnít.

CN: Oh, ďfromĒ twice!

NP: ďFromĒ twice? I donít know whether I can say... I think in order to save Gyles, and also it was a correct challenge, he did say ďfromĒ twice, 16 seconds Chris, grumpy starting now.

CN: I was told a really filthy joke, that involved er...

BUZZ

NP: So Gyles...

GB: Well...

NP: Yes you got it back again, havenít you.

CN: I couldnít speak!

NP: So there you are, you have another point Gyles...

CN: Thatís good on radio!

NP: ... it all balances out evenly, 11 seconds, grumpy starting now.

GB: Grumpy Mumpy Rumpy is a game that my wife and I play when sheís in a terrible mood. And funnily enough it excites her, delights her and turns her into a really pleasant person. Because itís vital for me to live with somebody who is...

WHISTLE

NP: So Gyles Brandreth speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point, and others in the round. Heís now taken the lead, just two ahead of Jenny Eclair, followed by Clement Freud and Chris Neill. And Gyles itís also your turn to begin, the subject is the Brontes. Tell us something about the Brontes in this game starting now.

GB: Cross the author of Wuthering Heights with a book that contains lists of words with similar meanings and you get a brontosaurus! I have long been an admirer of the work of this remarkable clan. Emily, Charlotte and the younger brother who was called something like Hallum but not exactly that. Iíve never been very good on dropping names for the 19th century. My particular enthusiasm is the present one...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Heís called Bramwell.

NP: Have you a challenge within the rules of Just A Minute?

CN: No, Iíve taken it upon myself to help Gyles!

JE: Yes! And there are two other daughters, Marie and Elizabeth who died.

GB: I only just got started.

NP: I know. Donít give him more ammunition because heís, he keeps the subject because he was interrupted there. And there...

CN: Well done Jenny!

NP: And there are 35 seconds Gyles, on the Brontes starting now.

GB: I know the Bronte country well, because there is a hill just outside Giltley called Brandrethís. Defined in the dictionary as a substructure of piles, but actually a very attractive part of the rural scene. And I have been up on long walks while reading novels by these curious and interesting and remarkable writers. And Iíve found while sitting there taking my picnic, to think that the Brontes actually strode across these moors! It gives you an exuberant feeling that makes your juices flow, your hair stand on end if youíve got it. And you suddenly realise yes, Iím glad I wear a chest wig and matching underarm toupee...

WHISTLE

NP: As we go into the final round I will give you the state of play as regards the points, because some people are very interested in this. Let me tell you that Chris is trailing, Neill is trailing a little...

CN: Trailing Neil?

NP: Chris Neill is trailing a little. I didnít say a little what, but just trailing. I was going to say heís trailing a little behind, but I mean thatís... real...

LAUGHTER FROM THE AUDIENCE

NP: ... heís trailing...

CN: Oh very amusing! Mock the minority, why not!

NP: And just a little way behind Clement Freud. Not much and Clement often does very well and wins. He is four points behind Jenny Eclair, and sheís four points behind Gyles Brandreth. And Chris itís your turn to begin.

CN: Oh is it?

NP: So with great panache and style, you might leap forward and... I think itíll be difficult but have a go anyway. As we go into the final round which is how to avoid stress. Itís very apt, but anyway tell about, tell us something about it Chris starting now.

CN: One way to avoid stress is not to appear on Just A Minute. I have to tell you it is a very very... oh Iíve done it again!

BUZZ

NP: Itís tough, itís a stressful game, but...

CN: I know but canít I be allowed that? Because I could say itís like one word for me!

NP: No, no! Itís like one word to other people. Thatís the whole heart of the game, the nub of the game isnít it.

CN: Oh!

NP: So Jenny you got in first, 54 seconds, tell us something about how to avoid stress starting now.

JE: Some people move out of London to the country where they die of boredom! Good! The other thing you can do is go swimming...

BUZZ

NP: Chris challenged.

CN: Was that hesitation?

NP: That was a hesitation.

JE: Yeah it was.

NP: Youíve got it back so 47 seconds Chris, tell us something about how to avoid stress starting now.

CN: I like to put the heating up high, close the windows, possibly light the fire as well. Then I lie down with a large bottle of brandy and knock myself out...

BUZZ

NP: Clement Freud challenged.

CF: Deviation.

NP: Why?

CF: Heís talking about committing suicide!

NP: Well some people actually, some...

CN: Well that would relieve stress, wouldnít it.

NP: Some people do commit suicide to avoid stress so um er...

CN: What a happy note to end the show on!

NP: I know! But that is his way of avoiding stress. It may be pretty bizarre and extreme. But he can say it if he wants to in Just A Minute because those are the rules. He wasnít hesitating, deviating or repeating anything. Forty seconds, another point to you Chris, youíre doing well...

CN: Thank you!

NP: Keep it up!

CN: Thank you!

NP: You may overtake them all, how to avoid stress, 40 seconds starting now.

CN: Thankfully I tend to get there the next morning and I wake up with a bit of a sore head, it has to be said. Then I think I still want to avoid any stress. My life is too hard, Iíve got no money in the bank, no-one to love, no-one cares and...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: No-one, no-one, no-one, no-one!

NP: Donít rub it in Jenny! Yes Jenny...

JE: No-one loves you, youíve got no money in the bank, no nothing!

NP: Jenny! Youíre so lovely usually! I donít know why... anyway youíve got 30 seconds to tell us something about how to avoid stress starting now.

JE: Avoiding stress can be done by yoga. Not the way I do it, Iím furiously competitive. And if thereís some bitch on the mat next to me, who is younger and thinner, then obviously I have to um...

BUZZ

NP: Right, this seems to be a one-sided event, just the two of them on this side of me. Chris you challenged first.

CN: Well Jenny, the subject is how to avoid stress, and then Jenny saying not the way Iíd do it. So itís not really an instruction for really...

NP: What about hesitation?

JE: I stopped!

CN: And hesitation.

NP: Yes hesitation. Twenty seconds Chris, how to avoid stress starting now.

CN: I like to go for a long walk on Peckham Rye which is a park near me. There are lovely trees...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny challenged.

JE: You really cannot avoid stress by walking along Peckham Rye. I know this because I live in South East London as well.

NP: Jenny...

CN: I find it works.

NP: It may be, it could be, within the rules, he could find it his way of avoiding stress. It might be utterly...

JE: Eurgh!

NP: And if you know Peckham Rye, I quite agree with you, I canít see, I think it would increase your stress.

CN: They have a nice park there!

NP: There is. Anyway you werenít deviating within the rules of Just A Minute, so you have 16 seconds, how to avoid Chris, stress, no! How to avoid stress starting now.

CN: The other thing I do is play the piano. I love playing this particular instrument...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles pressed.

GB: Play.

CN: No, I said play and playing.

NP: Play and playing.

CN: Actually!

GB: I interrupted at the point before he got to the ing!

NP: He said play first and then playing. So Chris, you are going to do it, you know Chris, youíve got another point, youíve got 12 seconds, how to avoid stress starting now.

CN: Once Iím bored with my own music making, well then I might turn the stereo on and listen to some young peopleís music, maybe something by the Beatles...

BUZZ

NP: Gyles challenged.

GB: There was a repetition of music.

NP: There was a repetition of music,

GB: Iím reluctant to do it!

NP: Yes but...

CN: Thank you very much.

NP: Gyles you got in with six seconds on how to avoid stress starting now.

GB: St Johnís Wort is the remedy I take. But I feel embarrassed asking for it in the shop because of the strange name that it contains. And therefore I...

WHISTLE

NP: Well as I said before, this was to be the last round. Gyles Brandreth spoke as the whistle went, gained that all important extra point. Chris Neill got a huge number of points in that round and doubled the amount he had, doubled his score. But unfortunately he still finished in third place. But he was one ahead of Clement Freud who usually does so well in this show. He was just behind Jenny Eclair, but three points ahead of her was Gyles Brandreth, so we say Gyles, youíre the winner this week! Thank you! It only remains for me to say thank you to our four distinguished and exciting players of the game, Gyles Brandreth, Jenny Eclair, Chris Neill and Clement Freud. Also thank Claire Bartlett who has helped me keep the score, and blown her whistle. We thank our producer, Claire Jones for her work and contribution to the show. Weíre indebted to Ian Messiter who created this game. And we are deeply indebted to this lovely audience here in the Alhambra Theatre in Bradford who have cheered us on our way magnificently. From that lovely audience, from the lovely panel, and from me Nicholas Parsons, good-bye until the next time we take to the air and we play Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC