JAM:PJones,KHesketh-Harvey,JEclair,SFrost
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring PETER JONES, KIT HESKETH-HARVEY, JENNY ECLAIR and STEVE FROST, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 2 August 1999)


NICHOLAS PARSONS: Welcome to Just A Minute!

THEME MUSIC

NP: Hello, my name is Nicholas Parsons. And as the Minute Waltz fades away once more it is my pleasure to welcome our many listeners throughout the world but also the four talented, diverse personalities who are going to play Just A Minute. We welcome back one of the most loved players of the game, Peter Jones. One of the highly appreciated and entertaining players of the game, Jenny Eclair. One of the most erudite and sophisticated players of the game, Kit Hesketh-Harvey. And one of the other most amusing players of the game, Stephen Frost. Will you please welcome all four of them! As usual I am going to ask them to speak on the subject I will give them and they will try and do that without hesitation, repetition or deviation. Beside me sits Jane Gibson whoís going to help me keep the score. Sheís going to hold her stopwatch, sheíll blow her whistle when the 60 seconds are up. And this particular edition of Just A Minute is coming from the Oxford Union in this wonderful ancient seat of learning here in the Midlands. And I hope youíre going to cheer us on our way as we start the show with Kit Hesketh-Harvey. And the subject Kit is mother tongue. Tell us something about that subject starting now.

KIT HESKETH-HARVEY: There is a perfectly disgusting joke which runs: what is the definition of gross? It is when kissing your grandmother to slip her the tongue. But I donít believe thatís what Mr Messiter had in mind when he gave me this subject. He was thinking of the lingua franca which in my case was chinyanja, a little spoken dialect in east Africa where I was raised, in which I can remember one word, chinbuzi, which means lavatory, a very nebulous concept in that part of the dark continent. I was dispatched over to these islands to learn Oxford English, the tongue of Shakespeare and Janet Street Porter. The tongue of Newton and Lloyd Grossman...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you pressed your, your...

JENNY ECLAIR: Yes, he was being incredibly clever but then he just ran out of steam....

KHH: Yes I stan... yes, I stopped, I stopped...

NP: He did what?

JE: He just ran out of steam Nicholas.

NP: So what are you saying, heís hesitated?

JE: Oh no... yes! He, he, he came to a grinding halt.

NP: But he didnít actually hesitate Jenny, so I have to interpret, to say no, it was not hesitation. So he gets a point for being interrupted. So Kit you carry on with the subject, there are 17 seconds available starting now.

KHH: Monica Lewinsky had the mother of tongues and I can only imagine... no Iím sorry, I really have run out, I canít go on!

BUZZ

NP: So Jenny, youíve got it this time, yeah he has run out....

JE: Hesitation.

NP: Right...

KHH: Thank you Jenny!

NP: So very justifiably Jenny came in first on the hesitation, mother tongue is with you Jenny, nine seconds starting now.

JE: My mother tongue is English which I speak almost like a native. It also sounds like one of those dodgy French productions, that you go to see, and it would be translated from the Russian...

WHISTLE

NP: Whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. On this occasion it was Jenny Eclair who got another point in the round for a correct challenge so naturally sheís in the lead at the end of that round. Peter Jones, weíd like you to take the next round, the subject, the union. Tell us something about that, 60 seconds, starting now.

PETER JONES: Well the only union that I can talk about for any length of time is the Equity which is the actorís union. And Iíve belonged to it for many years, and havenít enjoyed a lot of it! But they have annual meetings which are very rowdy and everybody shows off and is really auditioning for some part that they think theyíre going to get if er ah... sorry...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey...

PJ: Sorry!

KHH: He told somebody to interrupt and so I did.

PJ: What?

NP: You actually hesitated Peter.

PJ: Yes I did.

NP: I know yes.

PJ: I knew I did!

NP: You did. Why didnít you challenge yourself then? Itís been done before.

PJ: Thatís why it would be repetition!

NP: Kit a point to you for the challenge of hesitation, and you take over, 35 seconds, the union, starting now.

KHH: What with Scottish devolution almost upon us, the union is in peril! All over the north of England, theyíre building Anderson shelters ready for when Moira starts singing again! And we shall have a new Union Jack, probably with all the charisma of a party conference logo! Farewell to the Crosses of saint George, Patrick... and the other one... David!

BUZZ

KHH: Andrew! Julian!

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

STEVE FROST: Hesitation there.

NP: Yeah there was, yes, yes, ah, 14 seconds Stephen, correct challenge and the subject the union, starting now.

SF: I knew a vegetable that used to ride on a bicycle with one wheel, it was called a union. And he got lots of laughs when he did his show, unlike now Ďcause he...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Is he talking about a vegetable?

NP: Yes, a vegetable.

SF: You see it was an onion on a unicycle and it was called a union.

PJ: Yes!

NP: Well I still think it was devious, donít you Peter?

PJ: I do, yes!

NP: Yes! Good! Right! Six seconds for you Peter, the union, starting now.

PJ: I remember Dame Sybil Thorndike addressing the Equity Union and she was booed...

WHISTLE

NP: At the end of that round, what has happened? Peter Jones, speaking as the whistle went, gained a point for doing so. Heís equal with Stephen Frost, theyíre just behind, one point behind Kit Hesketh-Harvey, whoís one point behind Jenny Eclair whoís in the lead. Itís all very very close, and Stephen itís your turn to begin. The subject is breaking the mould. Tell us something about that in Just A Minute if you can starting now.

SF: The green jelly carrot...

BUZZ

NP: You just blew it, didnít you, really? Was it the thought of the green jelly, or the, just...

SF: I was moving too fast you see!

NP: Yeah...

SF: Do you want me to tell you what I was going to say?

NP: Yes, tell us what you were going to say.

SF: The green jelly rabbit, without any ears, because the mouldís been broken, you see, and the carrot did the rabbit, no, did it a third time...

NP: Jenny, yes, hesitation...

JE: Yes!

NP: ... 56 seconds, breaking the mould, starting now.

JE: Yes itís very easy to break one of those porcelain jelly moulds, especially when youíre trying to get said wobbly pudding out of contraption. Bang bang! Wallop wallop!

BUZZ

NP: Kit you challenged there.

KHH: Repetition of bang and wallop.

NP: Yes, yes you did repeat bang Iím afraid.

JE: I did!

NP: Yes, right, 47 seconds, breaking the mould with you Kit starting now.

KHH: Take That always wanted to break America. We wanted to break their records! But for any actor...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Two breaks.

NP: Forty-two seconds, Stephen, breaking the mould, starting now.

SF: A yellow myxamatosis ridden animal with no... hearing...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KHH: He stopped again!

NP: I know! Talk sense in future Stephen, itís probably easier! Kit, 37 seconds, breaking the mould, starting now.

KHH: A fantastic little theatre in Creyke...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: Well he hesitated.

NP: Did he? No he actually made a noise which was supposed to be a town in Wales.

PJ: It didnít sound like one to me!

NP: No! It didnít sound like one to me so Iím going to say that was deviation...

PJ: Yeah I think youíre right!

NP: Yeah, good, right, and you have 33 seconds on breaking the mould starting now.

PJ: If you ever open an old tin of jam or jar, you find that there is a mould on the top of it. Now itís very important to try to get it off before you eat the jam, otherwise if you break it...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KHH: Too much jam.

PJ: Thereís too much jam, 21 seconds, breaking the mould with you Kit starting now.

KHH: One of the proud boasts of Shirley Williams of Creeth or wherever she is now, who was going to break the mould with her Liberal Party SDP spinoff. Where is it now? Where am I now? Iím beginning to wonder...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost has challenged.

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones has challenged. The lights came on...

PJ: Repetition of now.

KHH: You saved me from it, thank you Peter.

NP: I know but Peterís light came on first unfortunately....

KHH: No, no, no, where are you now, where am I now, thatís Peter.

NP: Whoís running this show?

KHH: Youíre Nicholas Parsons!

NP: All I can tell you is that Stephenís light came on first and then Peterís flashed on immediately after....

KHH: Anyway I was terribly wrong!

NP: But... I know you were! But so Stephen you actually had the correct challenge and there are eight seconds on breaking the mould starting now.

SF: When I was a little boy, I was in my kitchen...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny yes?

JE: So the mouldís got in a...

NP: No wait a minute darling! What was your challenge? I want to make sure I agree with it.

JE: He, he...

KHH: Itís just the usual, isnít it!

JE: He hesitated.

NP: Yes he did hesitate but you might have said deviation and I...

JE: Oh I wouldnít have done that Nicholas!

NP: All right! Five seconds, breaking the mould, Jenny starting now.

JE: So when a mould gets broken, thereís bits of china in the childís jelly. She looks at you as if to say "oh thanks Mum, youíve spoiled another birthday party...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair was speaking then when the whistle went. I think Jane Gibsonís been blowing it so vociferously for us, I think her pea in the whistleís got a bit damp actually, it wasnít quite so strong that time. But anyway, Kit itís your turn to begin, Kit Hesketh-Harvey. Oh what an apt subject while being here in Oxford, boat race. Tell us something about boat race starting now. A Cambridge man in Oxford! Tell us something about the boat race Kit starting now.

SILENCE

NP: Youíre not going to do it? Peter you challenged! Peter, two seconds, he didnít do anything at all. So that was very quick of you, well done. Boat race, 58 seconds, starting now.

PJ: When I watched the boat race live, the only time that Iíve done so, usually I see it on television. But I went to Chissick and do you know both sides sank, it was so very rough, and they were er...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KHH: Hesitation.

NP: Yes hesitation there, definitely was. So boat race, itís back with you Kit and you have 44 seconds starting now.

KHH: You all know the sort of thing. Eight men, little cox, engaged in a myrric struggle, itís very homo-erotic the whole thing! Pull, stroke, in, out, as the oars crack, the back strain as they plunge into each other quarterís repeatedly through Hammersmith which always struck me as rather a strange setting for such an august contest. You know the film Iím sure starring Dan Toposkli or his alter ego...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny Eclair challenged.

JE: Repetition of or, oar, oar, or.

NP: We canít have too many ors on this show, can we? No, heís gone far enough already! Jenny, yes he did repeat oar too often, 16 seconds, boat race starting now.

JE: Boat race is obviously Cockney rhyming slang for face. In the 70s there was a pop song that went "nice legs, shame about the boat race" which was haha! Very funny!

BUZZ

JE: Until people sang it in your face as you walked past the disco!

NP: Kit has challenged.

JE: Did I say hahaha!

KHH: Yes, repetition of ha Iím afraid.

NP: Repetition of ha Iím afraid, so Kit you got back in, seven seconds, boat race, starting now.

KHH: There was a magnificent scene at the end of Zoo Like a Dobson, Max Beerbohmís great novella about this fantastic university where the entire under-graduate population commit lemming like suicide...

WHISTLE

NP: So Kit Hesketh-Harvey going with style on boat race, having lost her way at the beginning, went on with his erotic images he created. Iíll never look at the boat race again in quite the same light! And Kit kept going until the whistle went, gained that extra point, heís now one point ahead of Jenny Eclair in second place, so heís in the lead. And Jenny, itís your turn to begin. The subject is focus groups. Can you tell us something about that weird subject starting now.

JE: Focus groups are the scourge of the late 20th ecntury, made up by mealy mouthed spineless middle management who go er...

BUZZ

JE: I donít know anything about them!

NP: Kit you challenged.

KHH: Sorry, she collapsed.

NP: I know! Fifty-two seconds, focus groups, Kit, starting now.

KHH: Theyíre so ghastly I canít even bear to talk about them!

BUZZ

NP: Peter you challenged.

PJ: Well if he canít bear to talk about them, Iíll try!

NP: Well that was certainly hesitation Peter. So there are 49 seconds, can you tell us something about focus groups starting now.

PJ: Theyíre groups of people from all walks of life who are gathered together by our Prime Minister very often, who puts some question to them, what do you think I should do, or the rest of the Cabinet should do...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny said, yes?

JE: Two does.

NP: they were doing too much Iím afraid.

PJ: Yes.

NP: And Jenny got in, focus groups, the subject you donít want, 36 seconds, starting now.

JE: See, you never had focus groups in the olden days. You got some fat old bloke smoking his cigar with his secretary on his knee, barking out orders. I blame New Labour, I actually do. Itís all this I want approval, eurgh eurgh! Itís really pathetic isnít it, I donít know! Please somebody, save me!

BUZZ

JE: Is there anyone in the audience?

BUZZ

NP: Stephen you challenged.

SF: Two... oh, Iím sorry, Peter?

PJ: No...

SF: I donít want it either! Two ers, er er er er!

NP: Er er er er! But do you want it, I mean...

SF: Yeah Iíll take it, Iíll take it, Iíll take it, I can handle it, how many seconds have I got left?

NP: Ah, not you got left, there are available 17 seconds, focus groups, Stephen starting now.

JE: Youíre welcome to them!

SF: Focus groups, Blur are not a focus group, obviously by their name, that makes sure theyíre a group and theyíre not in focus! Itís a joke, Iíve said it, itís the sort of thing I do! There was a group in the late 70s called Focus, they were... Greek, I think...

BUZZ

NP: Peter Jones challenged.

PJ: He hesitated before he said Greek.

NP: I know he did Peter.

PJ: Oh...

SF: I thought they were Dutch...

NP: You say it as if I werenít going to agree with you. Six seconds, Peter...

PJ: Well I donít know...

NP: Focus groups is with you starting now.

PJ: The old focus at home, thatís what they call it at Downing Street. And they get all these ridiculous people together...

WHISTLE

NP: So Peter Jones was again speaking as the whistle went, gained that extra point for doing so. Heís in third place, onlyjust behind Jenny Eclair, and one point ahead of Jenny is Kit Hesketh-Harvey, our leader, and Stephen is trailing a little. And whose turn is it to begin? Itís Peter, itís your turn to begin...

PJ: Now?

NP: Yes, it is, definitely, and the subject is a special skill. Tell us something about that in Just A Minute if you can starting now.

PJ: I think juggling is a very special skill. And the masters of that skill are, in my mind, WC Fields, and a man called Monsieur Eddie Gray who was the seventh member of the famous Crazy Gang. There was also a man called Don Murray from Australia, and he was able to juggle while riding a unicycle. And he could put er six saucers and er...

BUZZ

NP: Oh Jenny yes?

JE: He hesitated.

NP: I know! It was so...

JE: It was beautiful but...

NP: I know! He was giving us a dissertation on the old variety world.

JE: I know!

NP: Jenny you got in with 30 seconds to tell us something about a special skill starting now.

JE: My old special skill used to be the ability to pick a credit card up off the floor using just my teeth, hands tied behind my back. However unfortunately these days I canít do it any more, and all I can do is dribble in bed! Um, I knew a girl...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey?

KHH: Sorry, she ummed. Iím sorry.

NP: I donít think it was a real hesitation...

KHH: No, you give it to her, give it to her.

NP: I think it was a illusion of speech. Jenny, a special skill, 17 seconds available, starting now.

JE: I know a girl called Shona Norris. She could draw horseís heads, that was her special skill. Another girl called Anne Robertson could burp...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost?

SF: Girl.

NP: Another girl, repetition of girl, yes...

JE: There were two of them!

NP: Stephen Frost, youíve got in with 11 seconds on this subject, a special skill, starting now.

SF: When Iím in the supermarket, old ladies come up to me and say "could you hand down that carton off the top shelf for me please?" Thatís my special skill because I am so tall! Handing around in these shops where people want things to buy and...

WHISTLE

NP: So Stephen got points in that round, including one for speaking when the whistle went, so heís now equal with Peter Jones in third place, behind the other two. And Stephen itís your turn to begin, the subject is the life I wish I had led. Can you tell us something about that involved subject, 60 seconds as usual, starting now.

SF: The life I wish I had led is that of a swashbuckler, a pirate on the high seas, fighting across the water, getting treasure wherever he went, killing people so that you make more money from them as if you had an ordinary job. For me this would be great, out there under the blue skies, the wind blowing in my hair. Of course...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny Eclair challenged.

JE: Well he hasnít got any hair!

NP: No I think actually Jenny to be fair, you see, this wass his image of what life heíd wished heíd led...

JE: Ah of course! Yes!

NP: And if heíd led that life and had a wish fulfillment...

JE: He would have had hair!

NP: ... he would have had the hair as well!

JE: Yeah!

NP: So 40 seconds Stephen, I disagree with the challenge, the life I wish I had led starting now.

SF: Then Iíd drop my anchor in some Caribbean port and go ashore and spend everything Iíd got, my ill-getten gains, on rum...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey?

KHH: Getten gains?

NP: Ill-getten gains, yes, slight deviation from English as we understand it actually.

SF: Thatís how pirates say it, (in pirate voice) Iíve got some ill-getten gains!

NP: Ill gotten gains!

SF: They donít say (posh voice) oh Iíve got some ill-gotten gains, Iím a pirate! (normal voice) Do they? They wouldnít be pirates then!

NP: Oh you give me an impossible decision, but I think Iíll give you the benefit of the doubt Kit and say 32 seconds, the life I wish I had led starting now.

KHH: I rather wish Iíd been the Emperor Caligula, decadent, depraved, debauched, vicious, brutal, ransacking the Treasury....

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost challenged.

SF: Deviation, he is!

NP: So we give Stephen a bonus point because the audience seemed to appreciate his particular joke but Kit gets a point for being interrupted, keeps the subject, 25 seconds left, the life I wish Iíd led, Kit, starting now.

KHH: Enjoying long hours of fathomless sexual debauchery! But if I had had a decent focus group, I could have gone to someone like Alistair Campbell and say "tell them Iím a nice person, whoís sweet to his horse. And posterity would have thought differently of me! There might be a university named after me!

BUZZ

KHH: Or not!

NP: Jenny Eclair challenged.

JE: Hesitation and repetition of me! Me, me, me, me, me!

NP: It does bring out all the best in them doesnít it! Jenny, a correct challenge, five seconds, the life I wish I had led, starting now.

JE: The life Iíd wished Iíd led was a glamorous life, full of getting engaged on balconies while pianos tinkled in the background...

WHISTLE

NP: So Jenny Eclair was speaking as the whistle went which is slowly deteriorating, the whistle sound. And itís nothing to do with Jane Gibson, by the way, itís a BBC whistle thatís got a damp pea in its core. And Jenny you are still in the lead, just one ahead of Kit and four ahead of Stephen Frost and Peter Jones. And Kit Hesketh-Harvey, your turn to begin, the subject, rhyming couplets. Talk on it, 60 seconds, starting now.

KHH: When I gaze at Stephen Frost,
He flecks his pecs and I am lost!
Look again at Miss Eclair,
By Jove's, sheís got a lovely pear...
Crumble recipe, even Peter Jones,
Thereís still some flesh on them old bones.
But when I look at Nicholas Pars-
sons, all I see is a right royal are...
Some examples of the rhyming couplets which daily I sit here waiting for the day when Prime Minister Blair will pinch me on the shoulder and say "be poet Laureate because we need one. Pam Ayres canít do it, sheís a woman. Tony Harrison is too talented. Andrew Motion really wants the gig but the thought of no state occasion passing without a motion to go with it is...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged.

JE: He did say two motions.

NP: I know and he went for 53 seconds...

JE: Yeah I know! Hahahahah!

NP: And to do rhyming couplets off the top of your head like that and keep going. I mean that really was well above the call of duty in the confines of his show. And then he loses the subject, Jenny gets a point, has seven seconds... I think weíll give him a bonus point for the rhyming couplets! Jenny has a correct challenge, seven seconds available, rhyming couplets starting now.

JE: One, two, buckle my show, three, four, knock at the door, five, six, pick up sticks, seven, eight, ladies straight...

WHISTLE

NP: That was a much easier way, wasnít it Kit! And she was going for seven seconds, got an extra point for speaking when the whistle went and increased her lead at the end of the round. Jenny, itís your turn to begin, the subject, a mugs game, tell us something about that in Just A Minute starting now.

JE: Every job Iíve ever done has been a mugs... game...

BUZZ

NP: Kit?

KHH: Sorry, a hesitation.

NP: It was a hesitation.

KHH: Yeah.

NP: Fifty-seven seconds, a mugs game, Kit, starting now.

KHH: Iím particularly fond of those mugs which show a dyathenesly clad nymphet in the later stages of arousal, but covered with a veil of discretion which however when you fill it with hot water miraculously disapprears! And lo! there she is! Clad as nature intended in all her glory. I play this game for hours and hours...

BUZZ

KHH: Hours! Hours! Hours! Hours! Hours!

NP: Stephen Frost you challenged.

SF: Two hours, hours and hours...

NP: Hours and hours, 37 seconds, a mugs game with you Stephen starting now.

SF: There are all kind of mugs games. Playing chess with teacups is not one of them. Gambling is a mugs game. I gamble myself... aaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaah! Aaaaah!

BUZZ

NP: Peter you challenged.

PJ: Yes he said aaaaaaaah aaaaah!

NP: And also repeated gamble.

PJ: Yes gamble.

NP: Gamble, right, 29 seconds Peter, a mugs game, starting now.

PJ: Well I agree that gambling probably is a mugs game because only the total, the bookmakers seem to win in the end if you go along long enough. And er I never have. And er Iíve nothing much to say really about this subject...

NP: Youíre going to stop now, are you?

PJ: A dignified stop rather than a hesitation.

NP: So nobodyís going to challenge you? I have got to finish the subject then?

PJ: Why not? Very good!

NP: Some people could describe it as a mugs game to take on the chairmanship of Just A Minute and have four talented, highly diverse, intelligent people taking the mickey out of you the whole time, putting you down, being the fall guy. But as a good straight man in show business, I throw out the cues and the lines...

BUZZ

NP: Who challenged me?

KHH: Straight man?

NP: Iím speaking professionally! My private life doesnít come into this! Anyway, right, what is the situation as we go into the last round? Well Jenny is just in the lead, only one point ahead of Kit Hesketh-Harvey. And then just a few points behind is Stephen Frost and Peter Jones in that order. Peter, itís your turn to begin and the subject is the hardest lesson of all and there are 60 seconds as usual starting now.

PJ: I suppose the hardest lesson of all to learn is when to stop, or leave the party, say goodbye, farewell and thank you very much indeed. And er not everybody present knows this lesson, has learned it. Ah for instance...

BUZZ

NP: Jenny you challenged.

JE: He hesitated.

NP: There was, there was a definite er.Yes Jenny, another point to you, youíre equal... no youíre not, youíre one ahead, arenít you, 42 seconds, the hardest lesson of all starting now.

JE: The hardest lesson of all is double maths on a Friday afternoon. Sitting in that sweaty...

BUZZ

NP: Stephen Frost?

SF: Repetition of maths, double maths!

JE: Hah!

SF: Thatís the only way Iím going to win any points on this game!

NP: Stephen those sort of remarks get you a bonus point , the audience love it! Right, another point to Stephen, Jenny carries on, and there are 36 seconds, the hardest lesson of all, starting now.

JE: Sitting in that stale fart smelling room, thinking what is P over E times pi squared. I donít know, I just want to get ready to go to the disco, for heavens sake! Itís so boring, maths! The other...

BUZZ

NP: Kit Hesketh-Harvey challenged.

KHH: Maths repeated.

JE: Yeah!

NP: Maths yes, double maths...

JE: It also got a bit dull!

NP: Yeah but you canít be challenged for that...

JE: I should do!

NP: No you could never be dull Jenny! Kit youíve got in with a correct challenge, 24 seconds, the hardest lesson of all, starting now.

KHH: Deuteronomy has got some real beasts in it. Not only genealogical tables which go on eternally, but a tricky passage about sucking pigs, which if youíve got an old Bible in which the S's are printed as F's, can be a minefield for anybody reading the lesson in the Cathedral or place of worship. I have a lovely old cannonball, he was called, in my Cathedral, I said Cathedral...

BUZZ

WHISTLE

NP: Jenny got in with half a second to go! You shouldnít have drawn attention to it Kit! So Jenny he repeated Cathedral, youíve got in with half a second to go, another point, half a second, the hardest lesson of all, starting now.

JE: The hardest lesson of all...

WHISTLE

NP: It just remains for me to give you the final sort of roundup as regards the points that were won and lost in the game and so forth. And Peter Jones who has given such value over the years came only just in fourth place, behind Stephen Frost and then Kit Hesketh-Harvey with all his dubious thoughts and entertaining ideas and insults to the chairman as well, came in second place. But four points ahead of him out in the lead was a lady who did so well last time, has come back to triumph, undoubtedly ahead of all of the others, Jenny Eclair! A popular winner! Theyíre probably getting their notebooks out now and are going to ask her to come and address the Union at some particular point, yes. Probably on double maths or something! It only remains for me to say, to thank these four talented players of the game, Jenny Eclair, Kit Hesketh-Harvey, Peter Jones and Stephen Frost. I thank Jane Gibson for keeping the score for me so magnificently and delicately blowing her whistle there. We thank Chris Neil our producer and director for keeping us all in order and running the show so well and of course Ian Messiter who created Just A Minute. And particularly we thank this audience at the Oxford Union whoíve come from all the different colleges and the byways of this great city of dreaming spires to egg us on our way and join us. You have been a wonderful warm vociferous audience, thank you! And from me, Nicholas Parsons, to all of them and to all our listeners, thank you for tuning in.We hope you enjoyed the show and will join us the next time we take to the air and play Just A Minute. Till then goodbye.

THEME MUSIC