JAM:KWilliams,DNimmo,CFreud,SHancock
WELCOME TO JUST A MINUTE!

starring KENNETH WILLIAMS, DEREK NIMMO, CLEMENT FREUD and SHEILA HANCOCK, chaired by NICHOLAS PARSONS (Radio, 15 September 1970)





THEME MUSIC



ANNOUNCER: We present Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Clement Freud and Sheila Hancock in Just A Minute. And as the Minute Waltz fades away here to tell you about it is our chairman... our chairman, Nicholas Parsons.



NICHOLAS PARSONS: Thank you, thank you very much indeed and welcome once again to Just A Minute. And as you’ve just heard we have once again these four delightful players of the game, who are just itching to show their verbal dexterity and ingenuity. If you heard a little laugh when our announcer introduced the show, it’s because they’re already in the mood to play and they’ve been flicking paper darts at each other! May I remind you of the rules. I will ask each of them to speak for Just A Minute if they can on some unlikely subject without hesitation, without repetition and without deviating from the subject. If one of the others thinks they are guilty of this, then they challenge them and according to whether I agree or disagree with the challenge they will gain or give away points. That’s how we play. And let us begin this particular game with Kenneth Williams. Kenneth will you talk for 60 seconds on something for nothing starting now.



KENNETH WILLIAMS: This is a phrase which sums up, of course, a myth. The thing in actual fact doesn’t exist. But we imagine very often that we are not going to have to pay a price. We arrrrrrrrrrre of a...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo you’ve challenged, why?



DEREK NIMMO: Well I thought there was a lingering pause in the middle of it.



NP: Well it lingered so long I think one could interpret that as a pause and therefore a hesitation.



DN: I see.



NP: I agree with your challenge Derek. Therefore you gain a point and you take over the subject and there are 45 seconds left for something for nothing starting now.



DN: Due to the gaming rules, it’s quite easy to obtain something for nothing if you happen to open a casino. Because now zero of the money from that particular... thing, goes to the house...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Hesitation, particular and thing, there wasd a pause between them.



NP: Yes but it’s so difficult to judge. I don’t think the pause was as long as a...



KW: It was! It was!



NP: No it’s very difficult to decide. I think it wasn’t...



KW: You’re the most partisan fellow I’ve ever met!



NP: One has got to breathe, you cannot be too tough...



KW: Mmmm, I’ll bet!



NP: I disagree with your challenge but I think I must be fair, because I don’t think Derek really hesitated and say that he gains a point because I disagree with the challenge. There are 35 seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



DN: Oh my goodness it is exacting to get something for nothing...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila Hancock’s... Sheila Hancock challenged.



SHEILA HANCOCK: Absolute rubbish!



NP: Absolute rubbish!



KW: Quite right!



NP: That was pure deviation...



SH: Deviation, hesitation and repetition!



NP: Absolutely!



SH: Do I get three points?



NP: I would like to give you three points because of the way they try to intimidate you Sheila. But alas, I can only give you one. But I can give you the subject and there are 32 seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



SH: A lot of people deplore and say that the young people nowadays want something for nothing. In fact the young people now get up...



BUZZ



SH: Aaaaaargh!



NP: Derek Nimmo you’ve challenged.



DN: Rep... repeating young people nowadays.



SH: Yes!



NP: That’s right. Well Derek you gain another point, you take over the subject and there are 25 seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



DN: There’s a clear blue sea beyond the fair isles and there was a... seagull floating...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams you challenged.



KW: Hesitation.



NP: I agree with the hesitation this time Kenneth...



DN: So do I! Gosh I really do! I’m very glad you got the subject!



NP: It is a tough one, isn’t it. Right Kenneth you have got a point and you’ve got the subject back with you, 18 seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



KW: I call it a myth because we have to pay for everything in this world! There is nothing, drops down into your lap...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila Hancock why have you challenged?



SH: Deviation, rain, snow, sleet drops down into your lap for nothing.



KW: I hadn’t finished!



SH: Oh! Well I know!



NP: Could you just finish so in order to justify...



KW: There is nothing what just drops down into your lap without exacting its price...



SH: Well rain, sleet and snow don’t exact their price.



KW: Yes of course they do! They exact their price by making you absolutely soaked to the skin! You get your clothes wet!



SH: That’s not a price, it’s a consequense!



NP: No, I’m sorry, I thought Kenneth was going to say that but I had to be sure. So Kenneth I disagree with Sheila’s challenge, you get a point, you keep the subject, nine seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



KW: Of course there’s so many things...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CLEMENT FREUD: Well I haven’t said anything today! Can I say good evening or...



NP: You can say whatever you like, and let’s get on with the game.



CF: Good...



NP: Clement Freud would like to say good evening to the audience.



CF: No I’ve said it.



NP: Are you sure? You wouldn’t like to say it again? Well with all that Kenneth has got his extra point and he has seven seconds left, something for nothing starting now.



KW: The same with these rotten old premium bonds, introduced to give people the idea that hard work is not the answer...



WHISTLE



NP: When the whistle goes it tells us that 60 seconds is up...



KW: And I’ve leapt into the lead! Yes!



NP: Be quiet a second Kenneth! And whoever is speaking when the whistle goes gains an extra point. This week... in this particular round it was Kenneth Williams, and with...



KW: Yes! Yes!



NP: There’s no doubt about it, he has leapt into a commanding lead at the end of that round!



KW: Oh yay! Oh joyful day!



SH: He was talking a load of rubbish!



KW: So joyful to me, oh joy!



NP: Well there’s hardly anybody scored anything yet and it’s a very difficult subject to talk about anyway. Derek Nimmo will you begin the next round, the subject is having my photograph taken. Will you talk for Just A Minute on that starting now.



DN: I’ve only once had my photograph taken, which fills me...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Deviation, he’s had it taken millions of times!



NP: I quite agree, I’m...



DN: I’m sorry, I’m talking in the sense of it being stolen.



NP: Well all right, I let Kenneth justify his remark in the last round, I must let Derek justify his in this round. Therefore I have to disagree with the challenge, give Derek a point and say there are 56 seconds left for having my photograph taken starting now.



DN: This particular snapshot I’d bought in one of the seamier streets of Port Said. I brought it home with me on a long sea voyage. And I kept it in the cupboard...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Repetition.



NP: What?



KW: Brought twice.



DN: What?



NP: No he bought it in Portside and brought it home with him.



KW: Well they sound the same, don’t they!



NP: They do and you’re trying very hard Kenneth. You’ve got such a commanding lead you can afford to be magnanimous with the challenges.



KW: Oh that’s true, yes!



NP: So there we are! All that happens is that Derek gets another point and there are 47 seconds for having my photograph taken Derek starting now.



DN: And into my bedroom one night broke this terrible man with a great big mask on and a striped jumper and a swagbag in his hand. And he tore...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila Hancock you challenged, why?



SH: Deviation, it’s not true. I mean they don’t walk around with swagbags in their hand, do they.



NP: They might do, but I cannot believe a man would break into his cabin, dressed like that...



DN: It was my bedroom!



NP: ... into your bedroom in order to steal a simple photograph of Derek Nimmo! There are 39 seconds left for having my photograph taken Sheila starting now.



SH: I once had my photograph taken out of the frame in front of the theatre by a monk in Oxford. This is absolutely true. And he said that now he keeps it in his Bible. He’s a very nice man that comes to visit me occasionally. I hate having my photograph snapped because I find that I pull my face into all sorts of funny places. My little girl once...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?



DN: Deviation, you can’t pull a face into funny places!



SH: Now look...



DN: I mean pulling one bit to Glasgow, and the other bit to Lands End!



SH: Places! That place! That place!



NP: If you already used the word shape and you want to find another way to express something similar when referring to your face, I can’t think of a better way on the spur of the moment to do it than say places. So it was a rather clever bit of thinking on Sheila’s part. So I disagree with the challenge which means Sheila gets another point and there are 18 seconds left, having my photograph taken Sheila starting now.



SH: When I was at school, we had our pictures taken. And the good lady told us to say the word cheese, and I forgot what she said and said sausages, with the result that I have the most extraordinary photograph of me taken at school. When you’re doing...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CF: School.



NP: Yes there was a repetition of school. So Clement you were listening well...



SH: It’s a different school!



NP: But it was still the same word so Clement gains a point and there are six seconds left for having my photograph taken starting now.



CF: The first thing I do before visiting a photographer is to stand in front of the mirror and comb my hair. This often...



WHISTLE



NP: Well as Clement Freud was speaking then as the whistle went, he gains that extra point. And Kenneth has a lead still of one over Derek who has a lead of one over Sheila who has a lead of one over Clement...



SH: Good lord! Have I really?



NP: Yes! Isn’t it exciting! The audience are agog, they’re moving! Sheila will you begin the next round for us, the subject is rose growing. Can you talk about that for Just A Minute starting now.



SH: This is something I am peculiarly inept at. Whenever I grow roses they get white stuff all over, and little green flies. Whereupon you have to spray them. A good thing to feed roses with is horse manure or mulch. You did a great big hole around your roses and you put in your.... stuff....



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud you’ve challenged.



CF: Hesitation.



NP: Hesitation, she was trying to think of another one, another word for manure.



SH: Is there another word for mulch?



NP: Yes there is and another word for manure but we’re not going to have it on this show. So you hesitated quite rightly, Clement Freud picked it up, he gains a point and takes over rose growing and there are 42 seconds left starting now.



CF: I remember the child so clearly when she was only five years old, skipping around the water meadows, laughing and dancing. And then when I next came to Lowestoft...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Deviation, he’s talking about this person named Rose whereas rose growing we all know refers to plants.



NP: Well if it’s...



KW: Deviation!



NP: If it’s a child called Rose she must grow!



KW: Oh come off it! Yeah come off it!



NP: Don’t try and get in that way Kenneth...



KW: You’ve already discussed manure! What are you putting manure round her for then?



NP: Sheila... you’ve got the audience magnificently on your side Kenneth! Sheila was discussing manure and her roses. Thirty seconds left for Clement Freud to continue on rose growing starting now.



CF: It was in Yarmouth 18 years later...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?



DN: I hadn’t expected to hear the word later and I thought it was already in Lowestoft so I withdraw my challenge.



NP: You can’t withdraw a challenge alas. If you get in too quickly and too keenly all it means is that you give a point away. Clement gains another point and there are 26 seconds left, rose growing starting now.



CF: She was a matron no less, mature, six foot three...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila Hancock why have you challenged?



SH: Deviation, in that case she’s no longer growing!



NP: Yes!



KW: Brilliant!



NP: You have to be clever to play this game!



CF: A late developer!



KW: No, no, we’re not having that, not having that!



NP: Well tried Clement. There are 21 seconds left for rose growing Sheila starting now.



SH: The reason I would like to succeed in this is I rather fancy the picture of myself in a big straw hat carrying a pania and collecting my beautifully grown roses. There are lots of different types. There’s masquerade, there’s Ena Sharples, there’s a rose...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CF: Hesitation.



NP: Yes alas there was, it’s very difficult to...



SH: That’s the only two I know!



KW: Peace! Peace!



SH: Peace yes! Peace! Peace!



NP: Ena Harkness and all the others. Right so Clement you have gained another point and you have seven seconds left for rose growing starting now.



CF: Violet, indigo, heliotrope...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Because he’s discussing violets whereas the subject is rose growing.



NP: Actually he wasn’t discussing anything, he just said violet, indigo and he hadn’t got any further.



KW: He was just filling in! That’s all he was doing dear! Filling in!



NP: I know!



KW: He had no idea!



NP: And you....



KW: The question rightfully should come back to me! Rightfully should be with me! The whole subject rightfully should be flung back at me!



NP: Kenneth...



KW: I should have it!



NP: Shut up! You’ll get it in a minute, I can tell you. Nobody can fill in better than you! I disagree with the challenge, I will give you a chance, you’ve obviously something to say to rose growing, I’ll give you a chance...



KW: No I haven’t!



NP: Clement Freud gets another point because I disagree with your challenge, there are five seconds left for rose growing Clement starting now.



CF: Red, yellow and pink blooms waving in the soft wind...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?



DN: We’re not talking about rose growing, he’s talking about fully developed roses that are blowing in the wind. so he’s deviating.



CF: They’re growing!



DN: He’s talking about roses...



NP: They’re obviously every day they grow a little...



CF: They can’t blow in the wind if they weren’t still growing!



NP: Oh they’re all being very clever! I’m going to let, one of those difficult decisions, because obviously a rose to be alive must still be growing. I will let you, audience, be the judge on this one. If you agree with Derek Nimmo’s challenge about deviation, will you cheer, if you disagree will you boo, and will you all do it together now.



BOOS AND CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE



NP: The cheers had it for the first minute and the boos had it for the second! So it’s a draw, nobody scores any points and there are one second left for Clement Freud to continue with rose growing starting now.



CF: They’re still getting bigger...



WHISTLE



NP: At the end of that round Clement Freud has leaped from his original place, I don’t know where it was now, into the lead. And the other three are in second place equal.



KW: Oh!



NP: Clement Freud would you begin the next round for us, the subject, rather aptly chosen by Ian Messiter for you is cold. I think you know something about this but will you talk about it for 60 seconds starting now.



CF: This is the opposite of warm and a slight improvement on cool. Temperature wise...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo you challenged.



DN: Hesitation.



NP: Yes I agree with your challenge, you gain a point and you take over the subject, 57 seconds, cold, starting now.



DN: I do hate being cold. And on cold January days I get into bed, I cover myself with blankets, put a hot water bottle round my tootsies, bedsocks on, to keep out this terrible terrible thing which I...



BUZZ



DN: Repetition! Repetition!



NP: He’s admitted it himself, Clement Freud saw it. You take over the subject Clement, 43 seconds left, cold starting now.



CF: I did once have a very nasty adventure in the Bavarian Alps when I went on a Royal Air Force survival course for the Daily Telegraph magazine...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams.



KW: Deviation, advertising!



NP: He may have been advertising but he wasn’t deviating from the subject, you see.



KW: What’s the Daily Telegraph got to do with cold?



NP: Because he was writing about cold for the Daily Telegraph at the time.



KW: Oh it’s a disgrace!



NP: Kenneth... so anyway Clement Freud gains another point, 33 seconds left for cold starting now.



CF: And I got frostbite and that’s all I’ve got to say!



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?



DN: Well hesitation, he’s packed up, hasn’t he!



NP: So you gain a point and the subject and there are 30 seconds left for cold Derek starting now.



DN: Sometimes of course you can catch a nasty cold which is a nasty virus thing...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud you challenged.



CF: Repetition of nasty.



NP: Of nasty yes all right Clement you take the subject back with nasty, and 26 seconds left, cold is the subject, starting now.



CF: To which I would like to add...



BUZZ



CF: ...one or two things...



NP: Derek Nimmo you challenged.



DN: Well deviation, he’s already established that he hadn’t got any more to say about it!



NP: I think I must give you a bonus point for cleverness but leave the subject with him. Because even if you’ve got nothing else to say about it he must in this game try and continue...



BUZZ



DN: Well it must be repetitious if he’s already said it!



NP: I have given you a point! I’m not going to give you two points. Derek you’ve got a point, the subject still with Clement, 19 seconds left, cold, starting now.



CF: I have seen people freeze. Not to death but to a state...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Deviation because freezing. The subject is cold, when you’re cold, you’re not freezing, freezing is another stage entirely, so it’s deviation.



NP: You’ve got to be...



CF: You’ve got to be at least cool to freeze you know!



NP: Before you freeze, you’ve got to be cold first haven’t you.



KW: Oh you’re giving it to him again, are you?



NP: Clement would you like to give it to Kenneth because...



CF: Yes!



NP: ...he’s a bit frozen in the corner there! And I think it’s only fair that he, because he’s tried very hard and he only just failed...



CF: He’s done very well!



NP: He’s done very well yes! There are 18 seconds left for you Kenneth on cold starting now.



KW: I got this cold and all my sinuses became inflamed...



BUZZ



KW: ...and they said...



NP: Derek Nimmo challenged.



KW: ...they said the whole nose! The whole nose will have to come off! They actually said...



NP: Before your nose does come off, can I find out why Derek Nimmo challenged you.



DN: Well sinuses.



NP: Why, what about them?



DN: Well it’s you know, improper use of the word.



NP: Well it doesn’t matter if you use the word improperly, you’ve got to keep going, and you might use a word improperly but it still conveys to the audience and the listeners exactly what he meant. So it’s not deviating from the subject...



DN: Right!



NP: So Kenneth gets another point and he continues with the subject, 13 seconds left, cold, starting now.



KW: And I said I went to this specialist. And he said "have it off!" he said! "The only thing for you," he said, "tracheotomy, tracheotomy...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud you challenged.



CF: Repetition.



NP: Yes!



KW: He’s dying to get that subject, innee though!



NP: Tracheotomy! It’s your style, isn’t it, tracheotomy he said. All right Clement you get a point, you take the subject back for six seconds, it’s cold starting now.



CF: (speaking as if he has a cold) And I snuffled and spoke like this, and it was terribly difficult for people to understand what I’m saying...



WHISTLE



NP: Well Clement Freud doing that demonstartion of how he normally speaks, um, gave himself an extra point because he was speaking when the whistle went. And he now has a very commanding lead over the other three. Kenneth Williams will you begin the next round. The subject rather delightfully and strangely is just Tuesday. Can you talk about it for 60 seconds starting now.



KW: The child of that day is said to be fair of face. I of course being born on Tuesday bear that out, you must admit, accurately...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila what was your challenge?



SH: Well no because it’s cruel. I was going to say I don’t admit it. But he is quite pretty so he can have it!



NP: Oh well isn’t that nice of her! She thinks you’re very pretty and given, your prettiness has gained you a point Kenneth. And you keep the subject and there are 37 seconds for Tuesday starting now.



KW: Also in the lyric of the song it says that that day will be my good news day...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged.



DN: Repetition of day.



NP: Yes we’ve had rather a lot of days. No it wasn’t just...



KW: News day is hyphenated!



NP: Yes but you used the word day...



KW: (Singing) My Tuesday will be my good news day! (Normal voice) You see it’s hyphenated, you see!



NP: I agree...



KW: (singing) We’ll bring a little home...



NP: Don’t try and get out of it Kenneth! I’ve given the thing to Derek. There are 24 seconds left Derek for Tuesday starting now.



DN: Of course my favourite Tuesday is the pancake one. I think that’s great fun, don’t you really? When you put into your little saucepan or frying pan the batter...



BUZZ



NP: Clement you challenged.



CF: Pan, pan, pan.



NP: Pan, repetition of pan. Clement I agree, 23 seconds left, Tuesday starting now.



CF: Saturday night is the loneliest night of the week. Because that is the night that my sweetheart and I used to dance...



BUZZ



NP: Sheila Hancock why have you challenged?



CF: ... cheek to cheek...



SH: Deviation, he’s not talking about Tuesday.



CF: I don’t like Sunday at all...



NP: I quite agree...



CF: I return at night to my friends and my family...



KW: Be quiet dear!



NP: A long time ago, Clement Freud, Sheila Hancock challenged and gained a point. And there are 15 seconds left for Sheila to continue with Tuesday starting now.



SH: Next Tuesday I’m getting up at 9.00 in the morning, taking my little girl to school. And then at 10.00 a friend of mine is coming round for coffee. We will have a nice long talk...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CF: Terribly boring!



NP: No, if you were the friend who was going round on Tuesday you’d be very excited!



CF: But all that wait while the children went off to school!



NP: Either way you look at it, it still is not deviating from the subject so Sheila gains another point, keeps the subject, six seconds left, Tuesday starting now.



SH: We usually talk about our sex lives and our friends. Then it’s lunch time...



BUZZ



NP: Derek Nimmo why have you challenged?



DN: Well knowing Sheila’s sex life, that’s deviant!



SH: Now...



KW: Don’t allow that Nick! Don’t put up with it!



NP: I’m not going to! Don’t tell me how to do my job!



KW: Stand by that girl Nick!



NP: A horrid, cruel and ungallant challenge which without any doubt gained Sheila an... I think I should give her a bonus point...



KW: Yes Nick!



SH: So do I!



KW: Yes!



SH: So do I!



NP: And there are two seconds left for Sheila starting now.



SH: Then three more friends come to lunch and we...



WHISTLE



NP: I did think her Tuesday was getting a bit devious then, didn’t you. Anyway Sheila you have now leaped into second place alongside Kenneth and Derek who are all trailing still behind our leader Clement Freud.



SH: You’re trailing! You’re trailing!



NP: But he’s trailing in good company! And she begins the next round, memorising names. Sheila can you talk about that for Just A Minute starting now.



SH: Many years ago I was lucky enough to be in a show with a venerable lady called Utheni Sila. And she taught me a little trick which I’m now old enough to use. That... Derek Nimmo’s putting me off!



BUZZ





NP: Clement Freud you’ve challenged.



CF: Deviation.



NP: Why do you think it was deviant?



CF: She got away from her subject and talked about Derek Nimmo...



NP: Yes...



KW: He was trying to show his hairy chest!



NP: Derek can you continue, are you quite comfortable? I must tell the listeners that Derek Nimmo’s undressing. It’s amusing the audience, it’s completely put Sheila off her style...



SH: Of course it has! Of course it has! I’m not used to this behaviour!



NP: He unbuttoned his shirt!



SH: Deviant though my sex life may be! I’m not used to being on panel games where gentlemen strip!



NP: Derek will you put your tie in your pocket please...



DN: No thank you!



NP: Be a good boy. I... Now are you quite composed again Sheila?



SH: Yes.



NP: There are 47 seconds left for memorising names starting now.



SH: And this lady told me that the thing to do when you’ve forgot somebody’s name was to say, I am so old, help me!I always make a habit of when I’m introducing myself...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CF: Repetition.



NP: What of?



CF: Always making a habit!



KW: Oh come off it!



SH: Did I say that before?



NP: Yes you did actually say I always make a habit...



SH: Did I?



KW: She didn’t!



SH: I didn’t!



KW: She didn’t! He’s saying that that is repeating, always make a habit...



NP: Oh I understand, you’re just... it is, it’s one to Sheila. Look stop trying to run the whole thing! All right Sheila has another point and the subject is memorising names and there are 37 seconds left Sheila starting now.



SH: Having great trouble in that direction myself, I introduce myself very firmly, even to my own mother and my own husband. I feel it’s only fair that you should clearly establish who you are...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams has challenged.



SH: Then they don’t have the duty of memorising names...



KW: Deviation, I’ve seen her meet her Mum and she’d never say "I’m Sheila Hancock!" Because her mother knows!



NP: She might! She might wish to! Even as a joke so she has not technically deviated from the subject on the card...



SH: Oh let him have it! I can’t think of anything more to say!



NP: Alas Sheila you’ve still got it and there are 27 seconds left for memorising names starting now.



SH: Nicholas Parsons, Kenneth Williams, Derek Nimmo, Clement Freud, Derek Taylor, Don...



BUZZ



NP: Clement Freud why have you challenged?



CF: Repetition of Derek.



NP: Yes you’ve had far too many Dereks!



SH: Well I happen to know a lot of Dereks.



NP: So Clement Freud, I agree with your challenge, you take a point and the subject and there are 19 seconds left, memorising names starting now.



CF: I once read a book on this very subject which was written by a hairy Polish gentleman...



BUZZ



NP: Kenneth Williams why have you challenged?



KW: Deviation, he didn’t know the author. And therefore he could never have known if he was hairy or not.



NP: Absolutely right, he couldn’t have known the author of the book. So the subject is with you Kenneth and there are 13 seconds left for memorising names starting now.



KW: Whenever they say "do you know me?" you should always say "well of course I do, and how’s Muriel?" That is the only way to appear au fait apropos the remembering of names. Unless you do it in a sort of code...



WHISTLE



NP: Well Kenneth Williams was speaking when the whistle went then so he gains that extra point.



KW: And now I’ve gone into the lead!



NP: No, no, you’re in a very commanding third place!



KW: Oh!



NP: Derek is just behind you, Clement Freud is ahead of you and one point ahead of Clement Freud is this week’s winner, the person who at the beginning of this show said I don’t care because I never win but she this week she has, Sheila Hancock!



KW: Bravo! Bravo!



NP: Well we do hope you enjoyed this particular edition of Just A Minute. And from all of us here goodbye.



THEME MUSIC



ANNOUNCER: The chairman of Just A Minute was Nicholas Parsons, the programme was devised by Ian Messiter and produced by David Hatch.